Waiting for Jo (18 page)

“Hey, honey!” says Debbie as I walk into the
office. How is this woman always so freaking cheerful?

“Hi Debbie. How are you? How was your
weekend?”

“Fantastic! I did some gardening and played
with the grandkids. It doesn’t get much better than that. How’d the
doc review go?”

“Well, it went. It wasn’t fun, but we got it
done.”

“That’s good, dear. Here’s your mail.” Debbie
hands me a pile of envelopes. I notice that the one on the top
looks suspicious. There are no stamps, no return address, and it
doesn’t even have my name on it.

I sit down at my desk and take the stack to
my office and quickly open the envelope. Inside is a single photo
of a sonogram. On the back the words we won’t be forgotten are
written in black cursive. Before I opened this, I thought it was
for me, but now I’m pretty sure that it’s not. I’m starting to
wonder if Harley was right about Candy. Perhaps it is James’ baby
she’s carrying.

“Hey.” I’m startled by James’ voice, and I
quickly cover up the sonogram with a notebook.

“Hey, James. What’s up?”

“I just want to give you this.” He hands me
the memo that I gave to him on Friday. “I made a couple of notes.
There are a few more issues that I’d like you to look into. Can you
have it done by the end of the day?”

I take the memo from him and glance quickly
at his notes. “Sure. No problem.”

“Great,” he says. He looks at me for a few
seconds. Why won’t he just leave?

“Are you okay?” he asks. “You look like
you’re guilty or something.”

“Nope, just tired from this weekend.”

“Okay.” James looks at me suspiciously. “I’ll
let you get back to work.” He walks out of my office, and I quickly
grab the sonogram photo and shove it in my desk drawer. That was a
close call.

I get up and close my office door so that I
can call Harley and not be interrupted. I dial her number and she
answers immediately.

“Hey, Jo. How’s it going? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you busy right now?”

“No. I just got done photographing some super
annoying little brats. I’m taking a break now.”

I tell Harley all about the sonogram.

“I’m seriously starting to wonder if that is
James’ kid she’s carrying around,” I say.

“How pregnant did you say she is?”

“I’d say about six months or so.”

“If that’s the case, it would mean that she
got pregnant while you and James were together.”

“That thought has crossed my mind, and it
makes me want to punch James in the face.” I pull out the sonogram
again and study the blurry facial features as if I’m going to be
able to tell if it’s James’ baby or not.

“What are you going to do? Are you going to
ask him about it?” Harley asks.

“I don’t know. I really would like to know
the story, but if it is his, and he’s trying to deny it, I’m sure
he wouldn’t be honest about it. Maybe I should just back away from
the situation and pretend like I don’t know anything.”

“Or maybe you should do some digging, because
this is a super interesting mystery that is begging to be solved,”
I picture Harley with an evil look in her eye as she speaks.

There’s a knock on my office door. “Someone’s
at my door. Gotta go,” I say to Harley before hanging up.

I put the sonogram back in the drawer. “Come
in.”

James opens the door part way and just pokes
his head in. “Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be out the rest
of the day. E-mail that revised memo when you’re done.”

“Will do. Have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too,” he says.

I decide to put the sonogram in another
envelope, throw it in with the rest of James’ mail, and just
pretend that I never saw it. After being heartbroken by James, and
after what transpired between Will and me yesterday, I don’t think
that I could handle knowing that James cheated on me and got
another woman pregnant while we were together. I’m going to tell
myself that Candy is just an unhappy pregnant client looking for a
refund.

I peek down the hall to make sure that James
is really gone, and then I quietly go into his office. His stack of
mail is piled up right in front of his computer screen. I pull a
few items off of the top of the stack and put the sonogram under
them so that he won’t notice that his mail has been disturbed.

I see that James’ computer is still on and
the screen saver hasn’t come on yet. His personal e-mail is open. I
don’t stop myself from looking at it.

What am I doing? I just said that I wasn’t
going to get involved. The annoying voice inside my head tells me
to hightail it out of there, but I just can’t. Curiosity gets the
best of me. I look up to make sure Debbie isn’t coming, and then I
quickly type “Candy” into the e-mail search box. There are 22
messages from her. I only check the most recent one and, just as I
thought, she’s accusing him of fathering her baby. I know that
doesn’t make it true. She might be pregnant and scared and looking
for someone with deep pockets to take care of her.

I move the mouse to close the e-mail, but
before I do, James walks into his office.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

I pull my hand away from the mouse.
“I...um...I was just bringing you a piece of mail that Debbie gave
to me by mistake.”

“Then why are you looking at my e-mail?”
James walks behind me and sees that the e-mail from Candy is
open.

I’ve been caught.

“I received a sonogram this morning, and I
suspected that you might be the father of Candy’s baby. When I did
the math, I realized that she probably got pregnant while we were
dating. I tried to simply ignore it, but I guess I couldn’t.”

James looks at me with a furrowed brow. “I
can’t believe that you would invade my privacy like that,” he
snarls.

“Is that baby yours? Did you cheat on my
while we were together?” I ask. I can’t ignore this any longer. I
have to know.

“I slept with Candy once. One single time!
There is no way that baby is mine, and I’m not taking
responsibility for it. Who knows how many men she’s been with?”

My heart nearly falls to the floor. How could
he have told me that he loved and then sleep with another woman?
And how can he treat Candy like this? How could he be so dismissive
of someone who could be the mother of his child?

“You’re a horrible person, James. It’s bad
enough that you cheated on me, but the fact that you are being so
awful to Candy is absolutely despicable. That baby could very well
be yours, and you aren’t man enough to even be open to the
possibility. I can’t look at your face anymore.” I try to push past
James but he grabs my arm.

“Let me go!” I say. I yank my arm from his
grasp and bolt out of his office.

“Wait!” he says. But I ignore him and
retrieve my purse and keys from my office.

James follows me outside. “Jo, just wait.
Don’t leave,” he says as he follows me through the parking lot.

“Leave me alone, James. I don’t ever want to
see you again. Consider this my resignation, effective
immediately!” I get in my car, slam the door, and pull away at a
breakneck pace.

I try my best to not cry as I drive home, but
I can’t control it. Tears well up in my eyes and fall down my face
and into my lap. I’m so mad at James for breaking up with me, for
cheating on me, for playing with my emotions, and for ruining my
relationship with Will. But I’m even madder at myself for letting
him back into my life and for allowing myself fall victim to his
stupid games. I’m a complete fool. I had a man who has been there
for me in ways that no other man has, and I fucked it up by letting
James get the best of me. I cannot believe that I am so stupid and
so weak.

As soon as I get home I check my phone. Still
nothing from Will. I decide to try and call him, but the call goes
directly to voicemail. “Please call me back, Will. I just want to
talk to you. Please!” I hang up the phone and start to cry again,
wondering if I’m ever going to see or talk to Will again.

Chapter 2
6

A week and a half passes. I’ve called Will
twelve times, and I’ve texted him seventeen. I’ve wanted to go into
the Alcove, but I’ve also been trying to respect Will’s space. If I
just stop by, there is always the chance that he might be
there.

The only productive thing that I’ve managed
to do is apply to, and interview for, a job with Legal Aid. The
rest of my time has been spent in my sweats watching daytime
television and going over in my head all of the stupid mistakes
that I’ve made.

I finally get so desperate that I call
Scotty.

“This is the Alcove, Scott speaking.”

“Hey Scotty, it’s Jo.”

“Hi, Josie. How are you?” His tone of voice
suggests that he already knows the answer to that question. “I
heard what happened with you and Will. I’m sorry.”

“How is he? He understandingly won’t talk to
me. I wish he would. I miss him so much.” I try very hard to hold
back tears as I talk.

“He’s really hurt, but I’m sure you know
that. He’s been dealing with some other stuff too, and I think that
the stress of everything has really gotten to him.”

“What else is going on with him? Is he
okay?”

“Well, there’s a gallery in New York that is
really interested in his work, but he can’t afford to get out
there. I told him I’d loan him the money, but he refuses to take
it. He said that I’ve already done too much for him and that he
can’t take anything else from me. I wish he would let me help him.
He can be so prideful sometimes.”

I can hear someone in the background calling
to Scotty. “I can tell you’re busy, so I’ll let you go. Please tell
Will that I miss him.”

“I will, hun. Come in and see me soon. I miss
your face.”

“I promise I will. Bye for now Scotty.”

“Later, Josie.”

Chapter 2
7

I look all around as I get out of my car, and
then lock it as I jog to the entrance of the run down strip mall. I
try to stay away from this part of the City, but this just happens
to be where all of the pawn shops are.

A bell rings as I open the door to Wayne’s
Pawn and Loan. The room is filled with electronics, musical
instruments, guns, and all types of jewelry.

I approach the counter and lay down my
horseshoe necklace.

“I can give you $350.00 for this, miss,” says
the burly bearded man as he inspects the pendant.

“Are you kidding me? That’s more than .40
karats and it’s Tiffany’s. That necklace retails for almost
$1,000.”

The man holds up my horseshoe pendant in his
hand and studies it a bit closer. “Okay, I can do $400, but that’s
it.”

“$475 and no less. Otherwise, I’m walking
away.”

“Deal, but I’m probably gonna take a loss on
this,” he says.

Bullshit, I think to myself as I flash him an
obviously fake smile.

I happily part with the necklace that James
gave me and take my cash. “You have two months to claim this,
miss.”

“I won’t be back to claim it, but thanks for
letting me know.”

When I get back to my car, I pull out an
envelope from my purse that holds a letter that I’ve written to
Will, and I reread it.

Dear Will,

I know that it’s going to be hard for you to
forgive me for what I’ve done, but I hope that you find a way to do
so. I made a huge mistake, and I just want the opportunity to make
it up to you. I want the opportunity to earn your trust again and
to take away the pain that I know I’ve caused you.

But even if you never forgive me or never
talk to me again, I want you to be happy. That’s why I pawned the
necklace that James gave me, and I’ve enclosed the proceeds with
this letter. I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness. I know that’s
impossible. Scotty mentioned to me that a New York gallery is
interested in your work, but you’re having trouble making it out
there. I hope this helps. You are an amazing artist, and I truly
believe that the rest of the world will agree with me.

Also, I don’t know if this matters to you at
all at this point, but I quit my job the Monday after returning
from Chicago. I’m starting a new job with Legal Aid next week, and
I’ve refused to communicate in any way with James.

Finally, I just want to say that I love you.
You are the most amazing man that I’ve ever met, and I will regret
my actions for the rest of my life. Please accept my gift and
follow your dream. I will be here waiting anytime you decide that
you want to talk to me again.

Love,

Jo

Chapter 2
8

Nearly a week passes after I slipped the
letter under Will’s door, and I haven’t heard from him. It makes me
sad to think that he could just completely ignore it, but I try to
not think about it. Instead, I focus my energy on getting settled
into my new job. For the time being, it’s a good distraction.

After a long, stressful week at my new job, I
decide to drive by the Alcove and see if Will’s car is there. I
really miss going and hanging out with Scotty, but running into
Will when he’s not expecting me would be uncomfortable for us both.
I pull into the parking lot and take a good look around. Luckily,
his jeep is nowhere in sight. I’ll just go in for a few minutes,
have a quick drink, and then leave.

The Alcove is packed tonight, but I spot
Scotty right away, and I sit down at the only open seat at the bar.
He’s busy, but stops what he’s doing to come and talk to me.

“Josie! It’s good to see you! I feel like
it’s been forever.” He leans over the bar and give me a peck on the
cheek.