Waiting for Mercy (Cambions) (14 page)

“What about you and Luke?” he said accusingly. 

“Huh,” I said, sure I hadn’t heard him correctly.

He let go of me but looked me in the eye. “You and Luke weren’t together?”

“Luke and I didn’t have sex.  But if we had, we wouldn’t have been that stupid about it,” I said.

I stood up.  “Merce,” he said. But I picked up my tray and headed for the door.  Good thing I was angry.  It made my next words easy.

At the door, Luke came through.  His haunted expression was focused solely on me. “Can I talk to you?” he asked.

“No, not really.”

I walked into the warmth of the lunch room and threw the contents of my tray in the trash and placed the tray on the designated area on top.  I walked swiftly over to the table where Maggie and a red eyed Amber sat.  I told them it was done giving them the condensed version.

“How is he taking it?” Amber said choking on a sob.  I was still pissed so her tears didn’t affect me much.

“Like any boy,” I said and quickly walked away.  Maggie was hugging Amber and I left in search of the farthest girl’s bathroom so I could be alone.  I felt like I might throw up with my queasy stomach.  Between baby news and the brief exchange between Luke and me, I had been affected more than expected.  I wasn’t sure how I would survive the rest of the school year based on the way I felt now.

reprehensible
(adj.)
deserving rebuke

Grateful for my new wheels and the freedom it afforded me, I went to Maggie’s house after school.  Amber was with us, of course.  They were in planning mode for the party at my house tomorrow.  It was a school honor tradition in our small community that whoever parents were out of town, had to throw the party. With my mom and Flynn’s dad on their honeymoon, we were the host.  I was along for the ride.  But that wasn’t why I was at Maggie’s.  Really, I wanted to hang out with her.  She hadn’t had much time for me lately.  So today I came along hoping since Amber was going to have to leave early, I’d have time to myself with my best friend.

“Have we decided?” Amber asked smiling grandly.  She was way too chipper for a girl who’d just left school after telling her ex-boyfriend she might be pregnant.  I gave a faint tentative smile and nodded in agreement.

“It’s settled then,” Maggie said in a bright cheerful tone.  I nodded again not wanting to speak lest my lack luster opinion about the short skirts and revealing tops we suppose wear to the party would show through.

Amber stopped folding the clothes we’d pulled from Maggie’s closet and her own bag.  I just folded feeling bad I had nothing to contribute.  My only saving grace was they were ok with that. “So Mercy, who were the roses from yesterday?” Amber asked me.  I froze.  Tentatively, I looked at her and met her curious eyes.  Her smile wasn’t as broad anymore.  Could she read my thoughts?

Maggie stopped folding clothes when I didn’t immediately answer.  I bit my lower lip and sucked in a deep breath for the partial lie to come. “I’m not sure.  They were anonymous,” I said looking away.  I started to fold again in earnest. 

“Must have been from Luke,” Amber said nervously.  She gave a little giggle at the end of her statement that made it blatantly obvious she didn’t believe that statement to be true.

“He does want to get back with you,” Maggie said pointedly.  She was standing next to Amber, so Amber didn’t see the look she gave me that let me know we would be talking about this later.

Instead of answering Amber, I diverted her.  “I saw you had roses too,” I chided, raising an eyebrow and forcing the curve of my smile upward.  Amber had received several roses.  But it was to be expected.  She was gorgeous and had a lot of guys who were interested in her.

When she didn’t speak, Maggie and I both turned to her.  She looked like she was turning green.  She moved so fast, heading out of Maggie’s bedroom door in a rush.  When we heard another door close down the hall, we both knew she’d gone to the bathroom.

Maggie’s frown turned towards me. “What did I say?” I asked immediately on the defensive side.

Maggie rolled her eyes. Then, in a whisper, she said, “We will talk about this later.”

She and I were going to talk, but it was Maggie who had questions she needed to answer.  I needed to know what happened last night with her and Brent.

Maggie left out the door and I heard her say ‘
Are you ok, sweetie?
’ in her usual charming tone.  I collapsed on the bed with my palms pressed to my forehead.  If Amber ever found out about me and Paul last night, she would so hate me.

Heck, I hated myself at this very moment.  I’d gone out on that date with Paul last night and Amber hadn’t entered my mind until the end.  What did that say about me?  She wasn’t my best friend, but she’d been nothing but nice to me.  Oh, I could rationalize that I had him first.  But really, we’d only shared a couple of weeks together nearly two years ago.  She and Paul had been together much longer than that. 

I was hanging up the last bit of Maggie’s clothes when they both came back in.  Amber’s phone sounded.  Her bright pink phone had been the only one lying on the bed where the sound was coming from.  We all turned to look at it as if it might blow up at any moment.  A picture of Paul flashed with his phone number beneath.  She looked at the phone with astonishment.  We all began to eye each other wondering if she was going to answer.  Three, then four, five, and then the screen went dark.

Maggie always knowing what to say puts a hand on Amber’s back. “It’s going to be ok,” she said in a soothing tone.

Amber burst into tears and I didn’t know what to do.  If I consoled her, was I being a hypocrite?  Amber’s phone broke into song again.  We all looked back down at the bed.  This time a picture of a girl faintly resembling Amber showed on the screen.

“That’s my ride, Keri will be mad if I keep her waiting,” she said.  She wiped the tears from her eyes.  Finally, I stood and crossed over to her.  I drew her in a silent hug not saying anything.  I did feel bad that she was hurting.  Now I just needed to find a way to tell her the truth.  But now was not the time.  She had too many other things to think about.  The things we’d been avoiding speaking of all afternoon.

After Amber grabbed her bag and headed for the door, I waited while Maggie walked her out.  A scowl was etched in her face when she finally came back in the room.

“Spill,” she said, that one word came out like spit fire from her lips.

Although I felt at fault, I also felt angry at Maggie for not having trust in me. “Look,” I said. “I didn’t ask for this.  But you think I’m reprehensible, don’t you?”

Tongue in her cheek, Maggie sat.  “Reprehensible.  Couldn’t you just use a normal word?  Lucky for you I actually know that one,” she said with a soft laugh.  Serious now, her features softened and she looked up at me while I stood.  “I can’t judge until you tell me the story.”

Seeing the wariness in her eyes, I sat next to her.  I put my hands in my lap and took a calming breath.  A colossal amount of words escaped me as I explained everything that happened yesterday, including the impromptu movie night.  My mouth was dry once all the words spilled from my lips.

Maggie tilted back to lay on the bed covering her eyes with her hands.  Feeling the same sense of dread, I followed suit.

Rubbing at her eyes, she at last spoke. I waited for her condemnation of my actions. “I don’t know where to begin,” she said.  “I have to laugh at the whole movie night fiasco.”

“Yeah, that was pretty freaking hilarious,” I said dryly.

“Then, I want to yell at you for your date with Paul, but I would be lying if I didn’t see that coming,” she said.

“What does that mean?” I asked slightly offended. 

She turned to meet my eyes. I didn’t see the disapproval I thought I’d see.  “Gosh, Eme, you and Paul have been playing this friend dance for two years now.  Even Luke saw it.  Isn’t that why he dumped you?” she said brutally.

I turned away, closing my eyes not speaking.  I deserved what she said and more.  If only I could explain the whole truth, she would see my predicament.  This had to stop.  I had to tell her before the weekend was over.  But I needed Sebastian for that.  I think his little disappearing act would help her come to terms with a fantastical story about angels and demons, who were real by the way. 

Not defending myself, I said, “Maggs, I had to know.”

“Well, what did you decide,” she said.

Telling her the truth, I said, “That I still love Luke.”

“Whew,” she said on an exhalation of breath.

Then I continued. “That doesn’t mean my feelings for Paul have disappeared,” I said.  Her face change and before she could speak, I continued. “I love him too.”

Holding up a finger, I stopped her before she was able to interject. “I can’t help that.  But what we have evolved over time at least for me.  It’s just more brotherly than it is boyfriend like.”

“What are you going to do about Luke?” she asked.

I sat up leaving Maggie still lying on the bed. “What is there to do?  He’s the one that broke up with me,” I said defensively, not knowing why I was angry all of a sudden. . 

Her voice was soothing like it had been with Amber earlier when she said, “It’s obvious he wants you back.”

Knowing that didn’t help because I couldn’t act on it.  And it was killing me. “Sending me a rose anonymously it’s exactly trying to get back with me,” I murmured, hearing the lie in my words.

“Eme,” she said harshly trying to get my attention. “He’s all broken up about it.”

She gave me a look that told me not to question the obvious.  I opened my mouth to refute when she cut in.  Her words were like a plea I should heed.  “He rains on everyone’s parade. He mopes around and well you haven’t been to the last couple of parties where he got trashed.”

As much as I didn’t mean it, the more I said it may make the inevitable easier to swallow.  “He should find someone else then.  Maybe Nina?” I said.  I really didn’t want him with Nina but who else was I going to say.

“No, no girl wants a guy that’s clearly not over another girl.  That’s asking for heartache,” she said.  But she did sound like she was totally convinced of her words.  I figured that we both knew Nina would have him back anyway she could get him, not to mention Adelina.

I sighed. “He deserves to be happy,” I replied.

Then she blew out a breath. “He deserves you and you are just as miserable as he is,” she pleaded.  Her words made me wonder if she was pushing me at Luke to ensure Amber’s clear path to Paul.  But that thought died with her next words.

“Look,” she said. The way she’d said it had me turning to face her. “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but that new girl, Kristen, is trying to get him bad.”

 I blinked a couple of times to try to figure out who she was referring to. “Kristen,” I said, still mystified.

“She’s in our French class,” she said.  Now, I remember the pretty petite Asian girl that sat across from us.  The girl who’d eyed me at my locker then again at the lunch table yesterday.  She had a name.

“Yeah, I remember,” I said rubbing at my eyes still tired from the previous sleepless night.

Maggie took no time in jumping in with details.  She sat up so she could look me in the eye.  “So you know that party you didn’t go to last week before the wedding.” she said, not really asking a question.

“Maggs, I don’t want to know,” I said vehemently. And I didn’t.  The last thing I want to do was hear about Luke flirting or kissing or whatever with some other girl.

“Luke was moping around as usual,” Maggie said not listening to me and prepared to have her say. I held up a hand in protest, but she kept going. “Kristen came sauntering up and pulled him to the dance floor.  She pressed herself to him like she was Velcro.  I’m sorry. I lost sight of him after that.”

And I knew just how she’d lost him.  Her vision was probably darkened while she hunted up treasure down Brent’s throat.  I pushed back the anger.  Maggie hadn’t done anything wrong.  “Maggs, Luke can date who he wants. We aren’t together,” I said.