Walking in the Shadows (19 page)

“
Vera
!
Vera
!” Tad was yelling
.
“Let me in!”

I stood
with
my legs shaking and made my way to the door. I opened it to find Tad sta
nding there in full teacher dress
.

“Tad, why are you here?”

“I was scared. I went to see
Kirsten
and she said you were really sick and you have no one to take care of y
ou,
”
Tad replied as his eyes took me in.

The background around him was starting to fade to black as I fell forward into his arms. When I opened my eyes he had a wet cloth on my forehead and was carrying me
towards his car
.

“Tad?” I mumbled
.
“What
are you doing?”

He opened his car door and placed me in the passenger seat
,
reaching across and buckling me
in.

“Bringing you to the walk-in
,” h
e replied.

“What if you get in trouble?”

“It doesn’t matter
—
you
don’t realize how sick you are,” h
e
commented
as he
wiped my sweatin
g brow
.
“I should have come sooner
—
you
should have called.”

“I don’t want you in trouble,
”
I said
,
closing my eyes, but I was too weak to fight him.

He
shut the door in response and
rushed into the driver’s seat
,
slamming the car into gear.

“I don’t want you dead,
”
h
e snapped.

I tried to laugh
,
but it came o
ut a choking sound
.
“I wouldn’t
have died.”

“You’re
an idiot.”

“Thanks,
”
I mumbled.

“Move
! Damn it! It’s a stop sign not a god damned train!”
Tad yelled at the car in front of us.

My head was pounding
,
and my heart was pounding
,
and the world was swirling.

“Calm down
,
Tad,
”
I whispered.

“I miss you calling m
e Tad. Mr. Knightley is so cold,
”
h
e replied, his voice cracking
and tears falling down his cheeks
.

“That’s because it is.”

“If something bad happens to you…”

“I might have lost some brain cells from the fever, so I might t
rip over more invisible objects,
”
I teased as I tried to lighten the situation.

“Always the comedian
.
”
Tad shook his head.

“More like ditz,
”
I replied
, and he
smirked
as
I drifted off.

As I walked to
my first class I heard my name
called to my guidance counselor’s office. Tad was just entering his classroom and his head popped up hearing my name. His face was
brooding
as if he already kn
ew what was coming
.
Jaz
stood next to me staring at him.

“God almighty, Mr. Knightley has my heart!”
s
he swooned.

I
struggled to make
my
lau
gh not sound like I was gagging
.
“Mine too.”

“So
,
where have you been?”
Jaz
asked
.

“I g
ot the flu pretty badly,” I replied
,
and she threw her hands up ma
king an X with her fingers
.
“I’
m not contagious anymore
,
silly.”

“
Alright…Well, the new development is that Knightley
isn’
t gay…
I hear he’
s madly in love w
ith his girlfriend
.”

“His girlfriend? Where did you hear that?”
I repeated
,
trying to keep the ‘it’s me’ look off my face.

“I overheard
Jennings hitting on him in the teacher lounge. She gave him her number even though he said he was only on a temporary break with his
girlfriend
,
and
he threw it in the trash th
e second he walked out the door,
”
s
he explained as she pulled me to the water fountain.

“I guess that’s
really sweet?”

“Totally!
I
wish he could read to me in bed,” s
he
teased
as she
winked at me
,
and when I gave her a strange look she
sighed
.
“N
ot like th
at! I meant it in a romantic way, although…
”

“I get it
,”
I cut her off
just as my name was called
over the PA again. I rolled my eyes
.
“I wonder what I did now.”

She grabbed my shoulder
.
“Seriously—I was joking. It’
s okay to laugh you know.”

“Sorry. I just have tr
ouble letting people in I guess,
”
I replied
,
biting my lip.
It was true, but despite myself I was having a hard time
not
letting her in.

“I don’t take offense.
Some people don’t like to laugh,
”
s
he reassured me with a nudge.

“I do laugh, just only with certain people.”

“Have fun getting in trouble,
”
s
he said over her shoulder as she walked away.

“Some of your teachers are concerne
d
. Being the new person in town can be tough, but they think
you
’re
exhibiting some rather anti-
social behavior. You par
ticipate in class
,
but not
with your class mates, more or less only with the teach
er. They’
re worried that you’
re missing out on the high school experience by being so by yourself. It doesn’t seem you have made any friends and it has been a few months and you don’t seem to have any interest in any of the senior activities. The
freshmen at this school are
already looking forward to their senior activ
ities
,” m
y guidance counselor explained
,
her h
ands crossed
in front of her
.
“I spoke to your previous guidance counse
lor about the situation and it’
s normal to grieve
, but it’
s been two years.”

I took a deep breath hoping what came out of my mouth s
ounded civil and not
rude and chastising her for the stupidity
of such a statement.

“This isn’
t a part of the grieving process. I find it hard to relate to people my
age because, well, they haven’
t experience
d
half of what I
have.
I’
m not
talking about my parents either. I’
m an adult
,
and
I have obligations outside of school. I have a job and bills to pay that other people my age won’t have for another four ye
ar
s
.
I’
m not being anti-social because that behavior shows a
psychological
dislike for other human beings that includes their feelings and acting
out by breaking rules and laws
. I haven’t
done any of that
,
nor will I.
I have friends like
Jasmine
,
and
I do plan on going to some senior activities.”

“Like?”
s
he pressed.

“Winter formal,
” I spilled
,
without thinking and
wished I could retract it.

“I see your point
Vera
,
and it’s valid. If this should be a part of
the grieving process
,
please feel free to co
me to me and talk about it. I’
ll be chaperoning that dance and will look forward to seeing you there. Do you have any questions?”
s
he asked
, and she didn’t fake that she was
very contented with herself.

I
needed to give myself a severe kick i
n the ass for that one. W
hat the he
ck would I do at a school dance?
Stand at a w
all like a pretty little statue
?

“Did all of my teachers have this complaint?”
I asked
,
trying to bite my tongue.
I wanted to smash all their heads together.

“
No, o
ne in particular fel
t it was a big mistake
. He stated you were at higher le
vel of maturity and learning tha
n many of your counterparts and that w
as the reason for the disparity,
”
s
he said with a shrug of her shoulders
;
it obviously didn’t matter to her.

“Mr. Knightley?”

“That’
s the one.
He said a lot of your insights puzzle your classmates and are ideas that he himself had just come to terms with in his last year of college. You should be proud of
your accomplishments
Vera
.
But y
ou should
still
experienc
e
high s
chool as well. You can’
t turn back the clock and you don’t want to be
wishing you did some day,
”
s
he finished her tirade.

I tried not
to
laugh. It wa
s a ridiculous thought—I hated high s
chool
,
especially now
,
when the lines of difference between me and t
he others were becoming so
clear. It made me stick out like a sore thumb and that was not the point of me moving somewhere else. I was
supposed
to blend in and not have people notice me and connect the dots. How was I
supposed
to be a normal teenager
when nothing
about me seemed normal anymore?

“
So
,
I hear that Miss Jennings still
has the hots for you,”
I commented as I took my seat in Tad’s
empty classroom.

“
Gossiping about
your teachers are you?”
Tad teased
as he took the chair in front of me and sat in it backwards. I tried to ignore how sexy he looked with his sleeves rolled up and his hair
tussled
just right.

“
Eh, just th
e hot one...she's pretty though,”
I answered
,
biting my lip with nerves.

“
Yo
u’
ve got to be kidding me
—
her
?” h
e replied
.
“
She tried to convince me that t
he
Crimson
Reign
saga was something that shoul
d be in the English curriculum.”