Wayward Soldiers (22 page)

I glanced back at people from other wagons working their way forward. I hollered for them to stay back as we’d be moving again soon.

I sat beside Nason.

“Ma’am?” I said, loudly.

She ignored me and kept screaming and cursing. I guessed someone in her family had been in the military once and brought their habits home. Too many of the swears were familiar.

“Ma’am!” I said louder. “That’s enough. There are young children around here who don’t need to hear that kind of language. Look, we’re—”

She found strength to hoist her head up and spit a wad of phlegm in my eye. “That’s what I think of your children.”

In most situations, such an action would have warranted a fist to the offender’s jaw. However, she was a woman, and a woman who had been through quite an ordeal, so I was more understanding than usual. Still, I was not happy. I wiped the spit away slowly with disgust. I had enough.

“Move over,” I said to Nason.

He did so eagerly. He already had his fill of the woman.

I grabbed her arms, bringing them together to hold both wrists in one hand. I leaned over and clamped my other hand over her mouth to silence her. She tried to bite me, but I shifted my palm to compensate. Then I squeezed both of my hands tightly, one around her wrists, the other on her mouth and jaw.

She growled, narrowing her eyes. I squeezed tighter. She got the message and relaxed.

“Good,” I said. “Now, we’re getting somewhere. I’ll answer any of your questions as well as explain your current situation so long as you promise not to scream and flail around like a lunatic. We have a deal?”

She nodded.

“Good.” I released her and told Nason. “Thanks for helping, but get back to your kids. We’re heading out. I can talk while we travel. Damaris, please stay here in case I need you.” I glanced up. “You heard that Dekar? She’s agreed to calm down while we talk. Get moving.”

“What if she needs something?”

“We’ll take care of it. Just go.” I looked back at the woman. “I bet you’re thirsty and hungry, right? Especially after all that screaming.”

She nodded, angry.

“Damaris, hand me that water. Then see if you can find something for her to nibble on.”

She handed me the water skin slowly as if the woman might reach out and bite her. I helped the woman drink. The look on her face told me she hated needing my help.

I pulled the water away. Damaris gave her a piece of hard bread to chew on.

“Where in the name of Molak am I? And how did I get here?” she finally asked.

“You’re on the road south. We saved you after you fell into a large crack in the land.” I paused, unsure how to break the news to her. “We . . . the men in your party didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

I knew she’d find out the truth about why the men didn’t make it eventually, but now wouldn’t be that time. I didn’t need her getting hysterical again. Preferably not until we were all safe.

“Don’t be,” hissed the woman. “I hope they died slow. Was it slow?” she asked.

That took me back. “I don’t understand. Those men weren’t friends of yours?”

“Did you happen to see what they looked like?”

“I did.”

“Not exactly the saintliest looking of men, were they?

“Looks don’t mean everything.”

“In this case they did. Do you recall the one with the gimp leg and the hair lip?”

The one with the sword. “Yes.”

“He and his friends kidnapped me. Almost a year ago. Had their way with me for a while. They were just getting ready to let me go, but then my moon blood didn’t come. The one with the hair lip, Lavne, grew a conscience. Or at least what passed for one in his mind.”

That news hit me like a fist to the gut.

“He decided he couldn’t let me raise a kid by myself. And he couldn’t kill me now that I was pregnant. So he kept me. Started calling me his wife. No longer could anyone have their way with me. I was his alone. The idiot seemed to believe that the baby was his, though there’s no way to tell. Only reason we were on the road was because we were running low on supplies.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I glanced to Damaris for help on what else to say, but she seemed as dumbfounded as I.

“Me too,” she mumbled with another mouth full of bread. “I wished I would have died with them. Better death than living in this world.”

She wiped her eyes before they drifted down to her stomach.

“Don’t give up yet. And don’t worry. We’ll see that you and your little one are cared for.”

“Worry?” she snapped. “You think I want this thing when it shares one of those idiots’ blood?”

“The baby shares your blood too,” said Damaris softly.

The woman waved a hand in the air. “Well that changes everything. Like my blood is something special? If I could take this baby out, I’d do it.”

I glanced at Damaris. She wore a deeper look of shock. Granted, I partly understood the woman’s situation. Finding love for a child conceived in such a way was no easy thing. Yet, to speak of the baby like that when it was not at fault, to refer to it as a “thing,” was hard for me to grasp.

A thought struck me, one I’d have to think about soon. How would I handle Ira if he discovered her feelings, or worse, she didn’t change her mind by the time the baby was born?

I also thought about the four men I lost saving the woman. I knew her life had been rough in ways I couldn’t begin to imagine, but I had hoped that my men’s deaths would be worth it for at least her and her child. She practically wanted to die.

I glanced at her belly. Maybe the child might turn out to be some savior or great king from an ancient and little known prophecy. That would make the lives of Sered, Evran, Meshek, and Liam worth it.

Of course, prophecies of that kind never happened in real life. They were a thing to tell little children to inspire false hope. Nothing more.

After the woman’s revelation, I wasn’t sure where to take our conversation. Thankfully, I didn’t have to take it anywhere. She shifted subjects for me.

“Why are we going south?” she asked.

“To get away from the artifact in Hol.”

“What?”

I remembered that she didn’t know about the artifact. I gave her a quick summary of the back story and finished by letting her know about the last of the artifact’s effects.

“That figures,” she muttered, another mouthful of bread. “I survived to suffer more.”

Some days I felt the same as she did. It seemed I survived a bloody war between nations, only to suffer through the peace that was supposed to follow. Peace hadn’t been any easier. I wondered often if I’d ever catch a break.

She seemed to be saying the same and given her last year, she had a greater right to be saying it.

I stood.

“Can you take care of her?” I asked Damaris.

“I’ll be fine.”

“If not, holler.”

“I will.”

I jumped down from the wagon and jogged ahead to scout the road again. I needed some time to think.

Gods, I wish I had Hamath to talk to.

I realized as I started running that I never told the woman my name. Nor did I ask hers.

Mentally, I wasn’t where I needed to be. I definitely needed time alone. Too many people were counting on me and the burden was taking its toll. I couldn’t let my anger and frustration get in the way of making decisions that would affect so many. I had already lost four men at the fissure. I couldn’t lose any more.

CHAPTER 31

A man can only run ahead of a horse-drawn wagon for so long before getting tired. I held out longer than most, but that still wasn’t very long.

I eventually had the sense to grab one of the spare mounts and use it to ride ahead of the main group while the real scouts like Sivan and Ira alternated going out farther, picking the best path for us to follow to the caverns.

Sivan was out when Ira trotted up beside me having just come from a rest in one of the wagons.

“Thought you’d still be trying to get some sleep,” I said to him.

“I got some. I figured Sivan should be coming back soon.”

I studied him. “You look like something’s on your mind.”

He sucked his teeth. “Yeah.”

“You talked to that woman we saved, didn’t you?”

“Her name is Chana.” He paused. “I’m worried about the baby.”

“I knew you’d be. Maybe Chana will change her mind about the baby after it’s born.”

“But if she doesn’t . . .”

“Then we’ve got a whole lot more to worry about. Namely, who’s going to take care of it?”

“I will,” he said quickly.

“I figured you might say that.”

“I can do it.”

“I know you could. Honestly, I doubt the kid would get more love from Chana than what you could provide. Not that you’d have to do it all by yourself. We’d give you a hand. However, the biggest problem is going to be feeding the baby if Chana doesn’t want to give it her milk.”

“I thought about that. I got a solution.”

“Oh?”

“Hila.”

I cocked my head. “Who is that?”

“Round face. Brown, stringy hair. Kind of overweight.”

“Oh, yeah. Benami’s wife. She’s still nursing her youngest, isn’t she?”

“Right. I was going to ask her and her husband about feeding the baby since she has milk. They seem like nice enough people.”

“They do. Ask them tonight so they have time to think about it. You don’t want to put them on the spot after the baby’s born.”

“Good point.”

We rode for a bit in silence.

I cleared my throat, feeling hesitant. “Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, but, well—”

“Just say it, Ty.”

“What is it with you and kids?”

His head drooped slightly. “That’s a story right there. A gods-be-damned story to say the least, and only one person knows it.”

“Dekar?”

“Yeah. I’m not sure I’m ready to change that.”

“I understand. It’s your business.”

“Still,” he said after a moment. “The short version is that my childhood was taken from me. When I’m around kids, two things happen. One, I feel like I get a second chance to have the childhood I lost. And two, I feel obligated to make sure they get the most out of theirs because I don’t want anyone to ever have to go through what I did.”

He looked away.

I reached over and grasped his arm. Then gave it a squeeze. There was a strange, unwritten rule that men weren’t supposed to show affection or offer comfort to each other outside of a few words in passing. There were exceptions to that rule, particularly when dealing with family or with a friend following the death of a loved one. But that’s about it. I admit I never understood that rule even if I often kept it myself. The behavior had been ingrained in me like so many others of my gender. Even still, I patted Ira’s arm and he gave me a nod of appreciation.

I raised my hand as a small spot came into view and headed toward us. “Looks like Sivan’s on his way back.”

Ira sat taller. “That’s my signal.”

He didn’t give me a chance to respond before galloping off. He slowed briefly as he and Sivan made a quick exchange up the road. Then he disappeared around the same bend Sivan appeared from moments before.

The old man pulled in beside me shortly afterward.

“How’s it looking out there?” I asked.

He reached down and took a drink from a skin of water. “The trail’s in good shape for quite a few miles. Should be easy traveling through this afternoon at least.”

“Finally some good news. How far you estimate we are from the caverns?”

“Two days. A day and a half if we push it.”

I glanced at the sky. “We don’t have that kind of time. We need to be there by tomorrow night.”

“That’s going to be hard to do, especially because we will arrive in the dark. Even with that crazy sky, it’s going to be hard to find shelter without much light.”

“Which brings me to my next point.”

“You want to send me on ahead, don’t you?”

I grinned. “Sorry. It’s the curse of being good at what you do.”

He sighed. “That’s what I figured. Do I have time to grab a quick meal and say hello to my daughter?”

“Of course. I’m not that heartless,” I quipped.

“I know. Just giving you a hard time.”

He didn’t leave. He rode next to me for a minute in silence.

“Something on your mind?” I asked.

“I just wanted to say thank you for talking to Damaris the other night. And not stringing her along and hurting her.”

I shifted in my saddle, uncomfortable. That woman was closer to her father than I had thought. I cleared my throat.

“I’d never purposefully do that to her.”

“I know. You know she was married once before?”

“She never mentioned that.”

“He died in the first year of the Geneshan War.”

Gods, that hit home. Maybe she and I had more in common than I thought. “I always assumed she never married.”

“She likes to think of herself that way. He was no prize. She married him when she was young and naïve and he was young and sly. He fooled everyone, including me. He never hit her, but he wasn’t very kindly to her after they married. He kept her away from me and my son. When her husband died, she was upset, don’t get me wrong, but it was also freeing. She got to be herself again.”

“That’s a shame. She’s too good a woman to be treated poorly.”

“I agree. You’re a good man too, Tyrus.”

“Some would disagree.”

“I’m sure they would. I’m not saying you’re perfect, mind you. But you do what you think is right and for reasons that even those on the opposite side would have a hard time arguing with. I respect that.”

“If you’re trying to get out of going on ahead, you’re doing a pretty good job of it.”

He chuckled. “No. I’m on my way to get some food. Change out my mount too. We just don’t talk much outside of my reports.”

“No. We don’t.” I thought about that old man hurting himself while searching those caverns alone. I couldn’t have that. “Why don’t you take Zamir with you too? The two of you will cover more ground and can watch each other’s backs. I’d feel better about that.”

“I’m sure Damaris will too. Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do.”