We All Ran into the Sunlight (13 page)

BOOK: We All Ran into the Sunlight
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Hotel Soleil, the Pyrenees, March 2006

Paris was the mountain. The well-spring of immigrant violence came from that mountain and trickled down through the rest of the country, reaching various troubled industrial cities where it swirled under the bridges and went again, thinning out through the rest of France, where most people tended to live quietly with log-burning fires and family meals and some people, right out in the middle, couldn’t yet read. By the time it got to the Pyrenees, you wouldn’t know much about it; only a trickle of
something
cold and wet that leaked into conversation in the dining room but was nothing that couldn’t be muffled in a glass of something at the bar or mopped up with a beautiful new towel. If you kept yourself clear of the daily news, and you didn’t go into the
banlieue
, you probably wouldn’t know much about it. When it all came down to it, most people wanted peace and tranquility; they wanted to work an honest day and sleep, to eat with their children and come to these mountains to ski. They wanted as much of the bounty of niceties as their circumstances would
allow
. Baseema had put the bath towels she had ordered in all of the bathrooms now. They were white and fluffy and folded on a heated shelf. She had taken the delivery
herself
, out in the cold driveway this morning, from the man who complained about the roads. It was March. There was unemployment. In Paris there were labour protest riots. In the
banlieue
the immigrants were still torching cars. But that was Paris. And Baseema felt no connection to the city or to her roots. It was only Lollo who knew and liked to remind her.
Maghreb
, he would murmur when she made a sauce that was too piquant. Baseema ignored her husband when he said such things. She ignored him quite a lot these days and left him on his hateful sofa while she busied herself with the tasks that were required of her as hotel manager. Each morning she pulled on a clean turtleneck and coiled the thick length of her silvery hair into a neat bun at her neck. One of the chefs said that Baseema was like a swan.

Lollo felt she was up herself and by this he meant aloof. He said his wife had taught herself the pragmatism that comes with a certain inner desolation. She was cool on the inside. Which kept her calm. But Baseema was an intelligent woman who’d found it was easier, as she got older, to find the end of a thought, and leave it there. She had begun to feel that there were sinkholes in her memory. She saw what it was like in the blind man’s paintings – the man who came to eat from time to time in the restaurant at the hotel, who painted people without faces. He did little sculptures too and she kept a few of them beside the till. Even the sculptures didn’t have faces, they had been smudged out – a thumb pressed into the clay – making a splodge of what used to be a nose, the pinprick of an eye. Baseema loved these smudged-out empty faces, for all that they kept private and unexplained. Memory was a fickle thing. Who could tell for certain what had happened and what was real when so much depended on perception and the storing of data in the fly-by-night filing system of the mind?

In many ways it was remarkable what she had done; how she had managed to draw a line between the life she had led there in the village and the years she had been here, high up in the mountains, working in a place that clung to the edge of a flinty outcrop – only snow in the winter, and trees. It suited her. It went with the
detachment
. She was good (she had always been good) at rolling up her sleeves, pressing on, not stopping to wonder much, to analyse or peer. Feeling led, more often than not, to nothing but pain, which was a hindrance and to be
avoided
as much as possible at all times.

Which was why, when she received emails like these at her desk from Sylvie, she didn’t trouble herself with
images
of her daughter sitting, shoulders hunched, her freckly face pockmarked and glistening in the light of the screen. Sylvie had gone back to the village because she wanted to. For a long time now she had been there living her life with a face that was quite unspeakable. What else could she do? From his sofa, Lollo had looked at the photograph of his children when Frederic was seven and Sylvie almost six and cried. But what could they really know about how Sylvie was managing these days? Humans had their own ways of coping and Baseema felt it was wrong to pry into someone else’s way of doing things and patronise their attempts to get on. It would be the worst possible
indiscretion
to impose her own feelings on the beret that Sylvie wore to hide the scars on the right side of her face and the drooping eye – the only structural reminder of the steel girder she had worn to hold the pieces of her face together in that hospital in Toulouse.

Instead Baseema thought, without sentimentality, of the length and thickness of Sylvie’s hair. She thought of the window boxes of bright geranium, and the house on the square. She was well liked in the village, and the dog – whose name was Coco – brought her companionship and warmth without the stress of a human relationship that Baseema supposed her daughter was too vulnerable to bear.

 

3rd March 2006
From: sylviepé[email protected]
To: Baseemapé[email protected]
Subject: For Sale?

 

 

There’s so much excitement in the village now, Ma, since the news came from Paris that Madame Borja died and the chateau is going up for sale. Suddenly everyone has something to talk about. People make sick jokes. Underneath it, everyone is intrigued. We all want to know what will become of the place and, indeed, what
became
in the end of her! We know she went to Paris after the fire. We don’t know anything else. Did she ever see Daniel for instance? Did he go to her in Paris to make peace with her before she died? Do you or Papa ever speak about it? Do you ever think about it all?

I know you are well shot of the place, Ma, but well you will remember how gossip thrives and multiplies here. There is talk of Americans coming to buy the chateau and turn it into a hotel! Also, there is talk of the Glovers, who are staying here for the winter, expressing an interest. The Glovers are staying in no 17. They are an exceptional couple and though it’s all speculation, I would love it if they did decide to buy. They are glamorous, and full of energy. She is very pretty with nice skin and bright white teeth. She tends to walk around a lot with her arms out to her sides. I have become quite friendly with Kate. And we have talked about the prospects that would be available to some of the locals if she and her husband were the ones who decided to buy, She laughs it off, but you should see how much time she spends at the place. There would be renovation work for some of us. A lot of work, in fact. But there would be questions to answer too, I expect.

 

 

Baseema smiled to the young man in the burgundy scarf making his enquiries at the desk. Her hand moved the mouse onto print while she kept her eyes on her guest. Inside the mechanism something clicked, the light flashed blue.

It was white out; snow had been falling on these mountains for three days. Tiny flakes of snow dancing, as if someone grand had opened a compact of loose silvery powder and shaken it over the hotel. It was a good thing to have it, though, because the season hadn’t been a good one and the slopes were much in need of a little fluffing here and there.

Baseema’s gaudy bracelets chattered about her wrist as she slid the local magazine across the desk.

‘There’s a lovely concert in town, Monsieur. For Easter. This will tell you everything. It’s candlelit. They begin at five. They sing to start with in the dark. Then all the candles come on. It is quite enchanting.’

‘But is there somewhere in town I can buy a
newspaper
?’

‘We’ve got an art exhibition too, Monsieur. A local artist, he paints these mountains, both in summer and winter. Lovely abstract paintings. I could draw you a map.’

‘That’s ok,’ he said. ‘Maybe later. But I’m a journalist and it would be good to have the papers delivered while I’m here. I’m covering the riots in Paris. I guess there’s an internet connection in the room but still it would be great, you know, to have the actual papers.’

Baseema folded her hands in front of her stomach. She smiled.

‘Many of our guests ask not to be given a newspaper, Monsieur. Not be shown anything that resembles anything close to a newspaper. We provide refuge, you see, from the noise of the world. It’s a peaceful place. Space and
comfort
. Far from the chatter and madness.’ She smiled. Her voice was soft and clear. ‘People come with their loved ones. To get close, you see? To walk and ski, to eat well. We have a pool. It lights up in the evening.’

‘Right,’ he said, and he flicked his hair away from his face. He was a lovely-looking young man, and patient with his success, which was rare in such types, she felt. No, he wasn’t finding this a problem. He held out his hand. It was springtime in the Pyrenees. He was here for a long weekend with his sweet beloved girl. Perhaps they would wander down to the concert together. Hold hands at the back, in the shadows. After that they could go to a wine bar, have some sweet, hot wine.

‘I must tell you about the
patisserie
, Monsieur. They sell the bread for which we are famous here. And “Le Petit Blanc”, the
chocolatier
.’

The journalist was smiling as he backed away, shaking his head. He knew he had the upper hand. He was the guest, she the server. He didn’t bother to look her in the eye before he turned and picked up his case. He didn’t need anything from her. He had his views on Paris, and his face in the national newspapers. It was a question of power, of identity. France was struggling with hers.
Clearly
, this confident, well-mannered boy was sure of his.

 

There’s a real estate person coming here from Béziers tomorrow to take a look at the chateau. It’s hard to estimate how much it would cost. Just all the renovation it would need. I guess it would have to be like a millionaire or something. But in the shop all they say is American this and American that. It’s Americans, they say, like everyone knows what had been decided already when the agent hasn’t even been to value the place. But what if someone did come and turn the old place into a hotel? Can you imagine?

I’ll keep you posted

Big kisses

XXX Sylvie

 

 

P.S. In the café, I had such a strange conversation with old Monsieur Surte. He said he felt, deep down in his gut, very sure of one thing. Lucie Borja never left this village, he said. Not after the death of Frederic and the fire and never after. He looked at me with his crazy eyes and looked very still for a moment. Then he smiled at me and I saw his black teeth. He said: ‘As God is my witness, that woman is still there rotting away in the dark.’ Rotting, he said, in the dark! Poor Madame Borja. Straightaway I said a quick mental prayer for her, for all the things people have said about her and for the fact she never fit in and should never have come here in the first place. Somehow now she’s dead I feel guilty that everyone hated her so much. It was Daniel that caused the trouble here, Ma, and broke all our hearts. It was Daniel who was setting fires and running away and dancing along the chateau wall with all the alcohol in his veins. Remember that long coat he used to wear? Remember his eyes, Ma, his deep blue eyes?

Monsieur Surte said he reckoned Daniel had gone off to join the foreign legion or something or that he might have even ended up dead, shooting his brains out in some shitty hostel in Morocco or somewhere. I didn’t even know that Mr Surte knew expressions like that. It was weird though, you know. He said all this and his eyes were
blazing
red as the sun, like a man on fire. He spoke with anger, such fury. It was blinding to see and I couldn’t help wondering, why on earth? What, really, did the Borjas ever do but not quite fit in? It makes me think how stupid it is to stay in a village your whole life and never go anywhere else. How the brain shrinks and shrivels like a pip before you get laid out in the ground. That’s what I was
beginning
to think anyway before the Glovers came. I think I will talk to Kate about this. I will invite her for coffee. I like her so much.

Please give my love to Papa. I hope he likes the scarf. I hope he is ok. People in Canas still talk of you both sometimes.

x

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