Wedded in Scandal (35 page)

His brow arched at her tone, but he did as she bade. He held her gaze as he stripped, pulling off jacket, cravat, waistcoat, and then shirt. One by one he pulled them off, but his gaze never left her face. She, however, looked her full as bit by bit his muscular torso was revealed. Now she believed that he sometimes helped with the farmwork, the mine work, and the day-to-day difficulties with patients. She could see it in his body.

“No wonder you are handsome even in dull brown clothing,” she breathed. “Imagine what could be done if you made the tiniest effort in your attire.”

His lips quirked. “I believe my tailor said just that the last time I saw him. But truthfully, I have never thought about it before you.”

She lifted up from the bed despite his order not to move. She rolled to an elbow so she could reach him with her other hand, so she could stroke his golden skin. She even pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Then she gave him a devilish glance and abruptly shifted her position. Within a second, she was stroking her tongue across the tight nub of his nipple. After all, anatomy was not so different between man and woman. If she enjoyed it, she reasoned, he might also. A moment later she was rewarded with his gasp of surprise. Then his hand went to the back of her head, holding her against him as his body trembled beneath her ministrations.

“You learn fast,” he said, his breath shallow.

She smiled against his body, loving his scent and the slight dusting of his hair against her cheek. “A student is only as good as her teacher,” she said. Then she began to kiss along his torso as he had done for her.

And as she moved, so did he. He let her caress his skin while his hands once again returned to her. His fingers traced lines along her hip and over her thigh. And as she was stretching for his far nipple, his fingers slid between her legs.

She stiffened in surprise, but it was too late to stop him. His long index finger was pushing slowly, deeply between her folds and she was stunned by the pleasure she felt by his invasion. She wanted to say something. She wanted to form words or at least return to what she was doing for him. But she couldn’t manage anything more than a high squeak.

“Lie back, Helaine. Let me show you.” Then he didn’t wait for her response, but slowly pressed her shoulder backward. She didn’t have the coordination to fight him, and she didn’t really want to anyway. He was in control here, which left her free to feel, to enjoy, and to let her legs tremble as her knees rolled outward.

He had more room to move now, his finger slipping down before sliding back out. Her body arched with his slide, and her eyes drifted shut while tension coiled in her belly.

“How do you feel, Helaine?” he asked. His finger continued to stroke her below while, above, his free hand began to play once again with her breast.

“So much,” she gasped. “So wonderful.”

He grinned at her, his attention to her nipple making her gasp anew. “Trust me, Helaine. Trust me. I will not fail you.” So saying, he bent down to kiss her belly. He had to leave off what he did with her breast, but it didn’t matter. Her skin was so sensitive now that any touch, any sensation, whether the roughness of his beard or the soothing swirl of his tongue, heightened her pleasure.

She felt his hand on her thigh, pulling her leg a little higher and more open. She complied because she would do anything he wanted at that moment. And as she moved, she felt his finger slip inside her. A single press, deep, then deeper still. Her body tightened in surprise. Nothing had ever invaded her there, and yet she liked it. He pulled it out, then pushed back inside again. Two fingers, and she felt her body stretch around him.

His mouth was lower now, pressing into her curls. She didn’t understand what he intended until it was done. And once it was done, she did not want him to stop. He was kissing her deep down at that place that was so wonderful. She had no words then, nothing but a cry of astonishment.

A wave engulfed her, her whole body arching and contracting with the stroke of his tongue. Then more waves came, one on top of the other. Her body tightened and released, again and again. She arched in wonder and rushed into bliss.

Such bliss!

It lasted a long time and not nearly long enough. The waves faded to trembles, which left behind a sweet happiness that suffused her entire body. She lay there, feeling her breathing ease and watching Robert as he watched her. He had a silly grin on his face and if she had any strength she
might have teased him about it. As it was, she could only grin back.

“How do you feel?” he asked as he stroked his hand across her belly.

She gasped at the tingles that followed his fingertips. Then she batted his hand away. “You know very well that I feel wonderful.”

“I just like hearing you say it.”

She released a happy sigh. “Is it always like that? Does it feel the same for you?”

He laughed, the sound almost as light and happy as she felt. “I cannot say. Perhaps we should try it again and see if there is any change.”

“Oh, yes!” she cried as she spread her arms wide. “I cannot believe I have waited this long to experience that! It was wonderful!” Then she shot him an arch look. “Even if it was so very, very scandalous.”

He was still, lying in the opposite direction, his bare chest pressing delightfully against her thigh. At her look, he pressed a kiss to the top of her leg and she gasped in surprise. It was almost a perfunctory kiss, and yet her body still reacted as if he were doing something a great deal more intimate.

“I think you should rest a moment before we begin again.”

She knew he was right but she just shook her head. “A moment, a day, an aeon more, doesn’t matter. I think I have been sensitive to your touch from the very beginning.”

“I like the sound of that,” he said as he pushed himself upright. She scooted sideways to allow him more room. Truthfully, she was beginning to feel cold, so she reached around to gather the covers. Then, of course, she remembered she still had her half boots on.

“Of all the ridiculous things!” She leaned forward to unhook her boots, then immediately felt self-conscious as her breasts swung with her movements. She pulled her arms tight to her chest as embarrassment heated her face. But when she glanced at him, she saw that he was far from horrified
by the sight. If anything, he seemed disappointed when she covered herself up.

“I like the way you look,” he said softly. “Every single part of you.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she busied herself with her shoes. But of course her fingers got tangled, and she released a very unladylike curse. He chuckled as he put his hands over hers—large and soothing.

“Let me help. You may not realize this, but it is common to feel some embarrassment afterward. Please do not. This is new to you, and I can tell you that everything about it was perfect.”

She waited as he gently pulled off her boots. Then she untied her stockings, allowing him to draw them off of her until she was fully naked and could at last slip under the covers. It was bizarre that she was now completely undressed but felt more comfortable because she was fully covered. Only when she felt the warmth of the heavy blanket around her did she finally dare to say what was on her mind.

“You say it was perfect?”

“Absolutely.”

“But isn’t it usually more, um, shared?”

He arched his brows, humor shimmering in his eyes. But he didn’t laugh at her, thank heaven. “You told me before you understand the mechanics?”

He asked it as a question, so she nodded. “Schoolgirls talk, you know, after some of them have gotten married. And some of my friends were raised in the country. Between the two, I believe I have gleaned what happens.”

“Do you also know that the first time can be painful?”

She nodded.

“But there are ways to prevent that or at least minimize the pain. Helaine, are you now thinking that we can…that I can…” He looked so hopeful even as he struggled with his words.

“Yes, Robert, I am considering it.” She was smiling as she said the words, another silly blush heating her cheeks.
“It is very wicked of me, but after what we just did”—she shrugged—“I want to learn more. I want to do more.”

He grinned and she could tell that he was very, very pleased with himself. “I am at your command, my lady. Whenever and whatever your heart desires.”

He meant it as a joke. He was teasing her as he sat there, all golden skinned and beautiful. But he used the words “my lady.” As a
joke
. But she was a lady in truth. Lady Helaine. And she had just shamed her heritage terribly. The thought had her burying her face in her arms, her shoulders stiffening as she imagined what her grandmother would say of a woman like her.

“Oh, no,” she heard Robert say. “Helaine, what happened? What are you thinking?”

He put his hand on her bare shoulder, large and warm where neither blanket nor pillows touched. She wanted to sink into his heat. Instead, she lifted her head and looked him in the eye.

“What would you think of Gwen if she were to do this?”

His hand remained on her shoulder, but the rest of him recoiled in horror. “Pray do not make me think of my sister in these terms.”

“Because it is wrong?”

“Because she is my
sister
.”

Her lips quirked a bit at his tone, but she quickly sobered. “Don’t misunderstand,” she said as much to herself as to him. “I would not choose differently, Robert. Tonight has been wonderful.”

“It is not done yet.”

She couldn’t help smiling a bit at that, but still her conscience pricked her. It was silly, of course. She had made her choice and did not regret it. Plus, no matter what title she’d been born with, her situation was vastly different from Gwen’s. And yet, it still bothered her. She had fallen. “We are both daughters of earls. And by all accounts, our fathers are similarly…er, flawed.”

Robert snorted. “Yes, though my father tends to make his mistakes a little more privately than yours.”

“He could hardly be more public.”

He nodded, and his hand squeezed her shoulder. “Helaine, it is merely a word. Mistress. Lover. Woman.”

“Tart.”

He winced. “No one will damn you for what we’ve done.”

She knew that. Her mother had all but thrown her into his arms. Her best friend, Wendy, would clap her hands and demand details. And as for her grandmother and even her father, they were all long gone. Their opinions mattered nothing. And yet…

“I feel as if I have cheapened myself somehow. And shamed my family name.”

He sighed and his hand went to her face to stroke a finger across her cheek. “Do you want me to take you home?”

She bit her lip, taking less than a second to decide. “No,” she said firmly. “I don’t regret what we’ve done, Robert. I really don’t. It’s just so hard to understand. It was wonderful, and now I’m…”

“As beautiful and wonderful as you were an hour ago.”

She snorted. “I doubt my priest would say that.”

He flashed her a rueful look. “If we are to look to the priests for our judgment, then I, for one, was damned a long time ago.”

She had no answer to that. They both knew as a titled lord, no priest would say a word against him. But she, on the other hand, could be cursed as a whore from many a pulpit. Not that it would happen. The priests had no interest in her at all. But it stung a little that as a titled man, he was given grace, whereas she would have to beg for forgiveness.

He searched her face, but she had no answers for him. So he shifted on the bed, putting his back to the wall before gathering her into his arms. She went easily. There was no place in the world that felt better to her than right here. She pressed her face to his chest and rubbed her cheek against his flesh while he held her tight.

And she did her best to hide her tears.

Robert felt her tears wet his skin. He knew she was trying
to hide it, and so he didn’t comment. But that didn’t stop his mind from spinning.
What would you think of Gwen if she were to do this?
Those were her words, and he was hard put not to shudder as his mind replayed the question over and over.

The two women were completely different, of course. Their situations, their stations in life, were in vastly different places. He did mark some obvious similarities in strength of character, but that made them both formidable women. He liked that about them both.

I don’t regret what we’ve done
. Neither did he. And yet, he couldn’t stop the moral squirm that he had just debauched an innocent. In fact, he was still painfully hard with the hunger to complete what they had started.

Which brought him to the obvious question: What did she regret? What was she crying for? He guessed it was her lost childhood and the titled woman she should have become. She wasn’t mourning what they’d done, only the things she’d lost the minute her father had proved himself an ass.

“I know about lost possibilities,” he said to her hair.
“Nothing like what you lost, but in my mind it was everything. At least for a while.”

She straightened off his chest. At his urging, she realigned herself against him. She was still settled in his arms, but could now watch his face while he talked. And he in turn could be tortured by the full length of her glorious legs along his.