Wedded in Scandal (40 page)

“Of course. And what did he say?”

“That he would, too, but the baronetcy cannot afford a separate establishment at present. And besides…” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “He loves his mother and wants to see her happy. Worse, he’s a good English boy. He won’t banish his mother. He’s not that cruel.”

“Even if it’s a choice between you and her?”

Gwen stared glumly at the wall. “Would you ask the man you love to make that choice? Between you and his mother?”

Helaine shook her head. No, she could never force Robert to make that choice. It would tear him apart.

“Very well then, we shall have to think of something else.
Have you talked to his mother? Perhaps she could be persuaded—”

“I tried. All she could talk about was how she will be such a help once the babies are born.”

“Hmm. And how large is Edward’s home? Perhaps it could be separated somehow.”

“Two floors, five bedrooms including the nursery.”

“Oh, that does sound rather tight.”

Helaine continued to ask questions, racking her brains for a solution, but none presented themselves. In the end, she was forced to concede defeat…of a sort. She gripped Gwen’s hands and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Well, that’s it then,” she said. “I can see only one solution.”

Gwen’s shoulders drooped. “I cannot marry him.”

“No, silly. You must talk with Edward.”

“But I can’t make him choose!”

“And it is better to simply decide for him? To end the engagement without allowing him the chance to find a solution?”

Gwen bit her lip. “No. Of course not.”

“And there is one more thing,” Helaine said slowly. “It is a great secret that I discovered only this morning.”

“You are going to tell me something I already know, aren’t you?”

Helaine smiled. “Yes, probably. It is that love can make the most terrible things acceptable. Things that I never thought I would do, choices I never thought I’d make—good and bad—they have happened because of love.”

Gwen nodded, obviously thinking hard. Helaine hoped that she was taking the message to heart—that no matter what happened with Edward’s mother and aunt, Gwen’s love for him would make it all worthwhile. That was what she was trying to say, but a moment later, she realized that Gwen’s mind had gone in a completely new direction.

“You have fallen in love with my brother, haven’t you?”

“What?” Helaine gasped, shocked that Gwen was so perceptive.

“All my friends have, you know. One after another, they have pined after him.”

Really? How terribly mortifying to discover that she was a cliché. “Well, he is rather handsome.”

“I know he has been attentive to you.” Gwen peered at her face. “So you and he…You have become his mistress?”

Helaine nodded. “Do you mind terribly?”

“Yes!” Gwen snapped. “I should like nothing better than for you to be my sister, but you deserve better than him!”

Helaine shook her head, her words solidifying her decision. “There is no one better than your brother. And I shall take what happiness I can with him now.”

Gwen moaned and she gripped Helaine’s hands. “But you deserve to marry! I think my mother has soured him on marriage. He doesn’t want to be saddled with another like her.”

Helaine understood that completely. If Robert were anything like her own father, she wouldn’t have given him the time of day. “Perhaps that is why we suit. I shall never be a burden to him.” That was the role of a mistress, after all. To pleasure a man while it was good, and to be set free when it was not.

“But you deserve better!” Gwen repeated, her vehemence surprising.

Helaine frowned. “I am only a dressmaker, Gwen. No one thinks I deserve better than exactly what I have.”

Gwen pressed her lips together, her expression both sad and defiant at the same time. Helaine waited it out. She knew whatever it was would come out eventually. Still, when it finally did, she was surprised by the anger that throbbed in the words.

“I do not know who you were, Mrs. Mortimer, but I know you are more than just a dressmaker. Even if you had the most wretched past, I would not care. I like you. You are smart and talented. You have helped me when my own mother could not. So I say it again, my brother is an idiot and you deserve better!”

Helaine looked into Gwen’s eyes, and more than anything in the world, she wanted a life she couldn’t have. She wanted Gwen as her sister, and Robert as her husband. She wanted to be Lady Helaine again, and to have it possible to marry the man she loved. She wanted it all with a yearning that brought tears to her eyes. But in the end, she had to put all of that away. She had to forget what might have been and focus on what was. But it was hard. Perhaps the hardest thing she’d ever done.

“We cannot all have the love that you and Edward share,” she said. “Some of us must be content as a mistress to the man we love. Or abandoned by him like my mother. Some of us never have a chance like you. So even if you have to live in the same bedroom with your mother-in-law, you will find a way to stay happy. Do you understand me, Lady Gwen? You will find a way to make it work for all of us!”

Gwen’s eyes widened at Helaine’s tone. Helaine waited, wondering if Gwen would descend into tears again, but her words seemed to sink in. Eventually Gwen’s chin stiffened with resolve and she straightened up from her bed. “I will,” she said quietly. “You are right. I absolutely will.”

“Good. Now come sit down over here. I shall brush your hair and then you shall go have a discussion with Edward.” Helaine grabbed the brush and held it aloft like a weapon.

Gwen didn’t dare argue as she sat down at her dressing table and began pulling out pins. Helaine stepped close to help, but then paused.

“Shall I have Dribbs send a message next door? To tell Edward to come?”

Gwen looked up with a sheepish smile. “I shouldn’t bother. Dribbs has probably already done it.” Then she released a heavy sigh. “If only there were more butlers like Dribbs. Then everything would go so much simpler.”

Helaine nodded, her thoughts on so much more than a single butler. “If wishes were horses…”

“Then Edward’s current idiot of a butler could ride far, far away. And then I’d kidnap Dribbs and force him to work for me.”

* * *

The women’s laughter carried easily to Robert where
he stood just outside Gwen’s bedroom door. He had already finished the rhyme in his thoughts correctly. If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride. Sadly, those were not the words that stuck with him. No, what he heard over and over were Gwen’s words.

My brother is an idiot and you deserve better.

She was right, of course. Helaine deserved much, much better than to be a mistress. Even mistress to a future earl. But could he bring himself to give her up? To let her seek the life she should have?

No. Absolutely, positively not.

He sighed and turned away from Gwen’s doorway. He had to find Dribbs to make sure Edward had been summoned. He also had to have a word with the boy about his mother and aunt. If he remembered things correctly, Edward’s baronetcy was nearby to Robert’s mining town. Or rather near enough to be convenient but not so near as to make them easy neighbors.

What if he set up Edward’s mother and aunt as schoolteachers to the miners’ children? They could occupy themselves with running other people’s children and not driving Gwen to distraction. He would have a ready spy for all the gossip in that town. And if Edward and he shared the expense of the household, then it would be less of a strain on them both.

It was an idea worth exploring at least. And a problem he had a prayer of resolving. Then once that problem was solved, perhaps the boy would have some magic solution for Robert’s dilemma.

Maybe.

If only…

The life of a mistress was certainly less…well, less
mistress-y than Helaine had thought. After their miracle night together at the Chandler, Helaine had expected to spend a great many more nights with Robert. But before they could arrange it, Robert had to take a trip to discuss things at his mine. And then the Season started. With Gwen talking her up as the best dressmaker in town, Helaine was suddenly busy with a dozen new clients. Enough that she made Wendy hire an apprentice just to keep up with orders. Of course, the old problem of getting those very same clients to pay was still an issue. But thanks to Robert’s interference, Irene was able to purchase things on credit.

And so, in general, life was better than ever. Busy, chaotic, and so lonely that Helaine thought she’d go mad. How had she thought her life complete before she’d allowed herself to be seduced? Whenever she had a spare moment, she thought of Robert. Whenever she dropped exhausted into her bed, she longed for his caress. And sometimes she even dreamed he was climbing into bed with her, only to open her eyes and stare into the yellow gaze of the workroom
tabby cat. She loved the mangy rat catcher, but he was no substitute for Robert.

Fortunately there was always more work to keep her busy. And with Gwen’s wedding a day away, she was hoping her nights of sleeping alone were over. Robert would never miss his sister’s wedding, and so she waited anxiously for a message from him. By the end of the day, she was a wreck of nerves. Which made her angry. How had she changed from independent woman to a girl waiting anxiously by the door for a message from a man? What was wrong with her?

And yet no matter how much she railed at herself, she still ran to the door when a liveried footman rapped. He handed her a message. Helaine didn’t even have to open the missive to know it wasn’t an invitation from Robert. He would have sent a carriage for her, but the footman had apparently traveled to her on foot. And sure enough, when she slit open the letter, she saw that it was from Gwen.

The girl was in quite a state. Both anxious and nervous and excited. Her handwriting climbed all over the page in crooked lines and even the sentences weren’t complete. The crux of the letter was that she begged Helaine to come to her wedding on the morrow. She wasn’t at all sure she could be in her best looks without help, and even if her maid was a magician with hair, she was only average with dresses. Besides, Gwen hoped that she could call Helaine her friend. And if so, Gwen would be pleased to have her attend the ceremony and breakfast afterward.

Helaine was stunned to see that her eyes were welling up with tears. Gwen was so much more to her than a client. That the other woman felt the same was like a gift from God. No matter what happened—or didn’t happen—with Robert, at least Helaine had a friend in Gwen.

She told the footman her answer: that she would indeed be there bright and early to assist Lady Gwen however she was needed. Then she paused, hoping that there was something else, like a message from Robert. But the man simply bowed and turned around while Helaine’s heart plummeted.

Had he tired of her already? And if so, she told herself,
then lucky for him. Because she was so angry at that moment that if he showed up at her door she would slam it in his face.
Hard
.

But he didn’t show up. Not until she had drawn his face and started putting spot marks all over it to make him look ugly. It was childish of her and really didn’t make her feel any better, especially since she erased the spots, added shading, and drew him as handsome as she remembered him. Only then did the horrid man show up, knocking at the workroom door and pleading with her to open up.

“Helaine! Are you in there? Oh, God, please, it’s Robert. Helaine?”

She meant to be reserved, perhaps even icy to him. But all her intentions flew away at the desperation in his tone. She flung open the back door and was immediately engulfed in his arms. It felt as marvelous as she remembered, wrapped in his full embrace, the scent of him filling her lungs.

“Robert,” she breathed, “I’m very cross with you.”

“And well you should be,” he answered as he pressed tiny kisses into her hair. “But first let me kiss you. I have been dying—”

She didn’t wait. She stretched up to his mouth and soon he was doing all the things to her that she’d longed for these last two weeks. He plundered her mouth, and she all but wrapped herself around him so that he could do more. He was the one to break it off so that they could both breathe. And while they stood there, their foreheads touching and their ragged breath heating the air between them, he stroked her arms and entwined their fingers.

“Where is everyone?” he asked as he backhanded the door closed.

“Bed. Upstairs asleep. Wendy’s at her home. She’s exhaust—”

He kissed her again and this time when she stretched up to meet him, his hands were in the way. He was stroking her breasts, lifting them and rubbing his thumbs across her nipples. The movement was quick and a little rough, but, oh, she liked it. How she had dreamed of having his hands on her.

She arched her back, thrusting her breasts deeper into his hands. And while he pleasured her, she reached behind her and undid what buttons she could on her gown. She hadn’t realized how desperate she was for his touch until his kisses set her aflame. Never had she responded so quickly, so completely to a man.