Welcome to Envy Park (3 page)

It was before noon and no one else wanted to be at
the outdoor pool with the sun so high. So it was just me and the
Fabulous Matilda.

Matilda from the fifteenth floor
spent a lot of time by the pool, but never in the water. She
instead acted like she was sunning herself, except her skin was
actually quite pale, because she would pull a lounge chair into the
narrow shaded area by the pool and stay there. She was in a gold
bikini that day, when I met her, but apparently she had more than a
dozen different types and wore a different one every day. So it was
like my sweatpants thing, but with less fabric. And better
abs.

I didn't think she'd be the type who would be
friendly, but then again I shouldn't have been surprised. Roxie was
the same way, and I seemed to be a magnet for female friends who
had a bit of an edge to them. Matilda was gorgeous and it looked
like she spent a lot of money to maintain it. Not the kind of
friend I met at school, at work, or anywhere, but NV Park was the
place to start I guess.

She'd been living there for three weeks too and was
itching to talk to somebody, anybody. Lying on her stomach, she
lifted her sunglasses and peered at me as I waded into the shallow
end of the pool.

"I have a halter style suit
that'll look great on you," she said.

"I don't think we're the same
size," I replied.

"It'll fit you," Matilda insisted.
"I know what I'm talking about."

She watched me, humored me maybe, as I swam several
laps and tried to be all athletic about it. I gave up after fifteen
minutes, and instead pulled another chair into the shade next to
her.

"I'm here every day, at this
time," she explained, "Too hot for the kids and the
nannies."

"Do you have a job?" I
asked.

"I work from home," was her
answer.

What exactly could that job have been, when she was
hanging out at the pool in the middle of the day? That I wanted to
know. So I asked.

"I bake. Or sometimes I make
candles, or soap," she said. That didn't sound like real work, not
the way I defined it. Which made me want to know more about her,
but she instead kept asking
me
questions.

"I'm surprised you didn't stay
there," she said, about my recent move, pausing to rub baby oil on
a flawless left leg.

"Singapore? It wasn't for
me."

"Five years isn't long enough to
decide that. And you're what, twenty-five?"

"Twenty-seven, but
thanks."

"You're my age. We don't know
anything. Can you go back if you can't find a job here? Because I
know people, I can ask around if they know any jobs."

The sun was touching the very tips
of my toes, and I busied myself with wriggling them. "Thanks, but
I'm going to try somewhere else I think."

She rolled to face me and took off
her sunglasses. I wouldn't have guessed she was my age; her face
carried the signs of plastic perfection, which I associated with
middle-aged women. Still, she looked like a doll, and would
probably be frozen in this ageless form for as long as her doctor
could manage it. Her forehead barely moved, but I could see her
judgment. "Did something happen there? Did they kick you out of the
country?"

"Of course not."

"Just asking. I won't be able to
help you if you don't tell me the dirt about that."

"I'm not planning to stay in
Manila that long anyway. But I don't think the next move will be
back to Singapore."

"Up to you." She rolled onto her
back and closed her eyes. "Is it a guy? Is that why you're hanging
around? If you want to hook up with anyone I know someone on the
eighth floor who'd be willing. What's your type?"

"I like...I don't know. Smart
guys."

"That's funny. You don't really
mean that. Maybe Ethan from the ninth floor is smart, he's in IT
consulting or whatever. But he's good in bed. Great
kisser."

I coughed, or maybe just in my
mind. "How do you know that?"

Matilda stretched a flawless arm
over her head. "It's the quiet ones. They've never disappointed
me."

"So he's not a disappointment
then?" Because I did want to know, in an odd way. One of the things
I had to accept when I moved away from Manila was that I was going
to meet people that grew up somewhere else and expected different
things. So I learned to put "curious" as my default setting,
instead of "judgmental."

Judgement could come later, if I found out that
Ethan went for Matilda and her perfection. Because as far as I
could tell she was not stupid, and neither was I, but we formed two
different physical types and I think it would be easy to rule out
from my future any guy who would choose her first.

Matilda shook her head, but she
looked determined. "I haven't tried it. But I know he'll be
good."

Judgment deferred.

But now more curious.

This was not the kind of
conversation I was used to having with friends, and yet it covered
pretty much the same topics—career and relationships. Matilda
talked about it her own way, and it was less off-putting if I
translated it in my head into what was familiar, and not at all
creepy.

"I think I want to enjoy this for
now, thanks. No jobs or hooking up today."

"I get it. Living in this building
makes me forget sometimes about the shit that's happening outside.
But I always assume that everyone wants to get away from
something."

"That's... profound." And also
telling. "What exactly do you do again?"

She didn't give an answer, at least not one that
seemed like the truth. She lived in a large apartment on the top
floor, and spent all day at the pool. Her money was coming from
somewhere.

Maybe she was the one doing it right.

-/\/\/\-

MATILDA

I. CAREER AND FINANCES

+ Has money but does nothing all day

+ Can afford NV Park

- No career?

II. FAMILY AND FRIENDSHIPS

?

- Doesn’t seem to be hanging out with anyone else
(though she knows people in the building)

III. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

+ Does not seem to have a problem getting anyone she
wants

? Does she have someone she wants?

IV. PERSONAL FULFILLMENT

+ Has hobbies (a lot)

- How happy is someone who is alone all day?

-/\/\/\-

Moi,

I've booked my ticket! I'll be there, ready to move
in, June 1! My classes will start on the 15th so I think that's
enough time to settle in and buy stuff. But I won't have to buy
furniture right? The apartment's got everything? Does it have hot
water?

I'm so excited!

Kisses,

Megan

My mom had some explaining to do.

She no longer lived in Manila, at least as of her
fifty-fifth birthday. Last year she and my dad moved back to
Bulacan, to be near my grandmother, and I just spoke to her on the
phone last night. She complained a bit about the cable reception; I
told her that I had forgotten how long it took to travel anywhere
in Manila. She and I were going through the same
hometown-adjustment blues. I thought we had a renewed appreciation
of each other or something.

She never mentioned this though. Ha! Renewed
appreciation phooey.

"Of course I offered your place.
Her mom's willing to pay rent," she said, in that matter-of-fact
way that she probably used on my cousin Megan in California, which
explained why I would get that email from her as if I knew what she
was talking about.

"I'm still living here! Are you
planning to evict me?"

"I thought you'd appreciate the
financial help, Moira. And you keep saying you're taking off again
anyway. I thought you'd be gone by June, to be honest."

The thing about this NV Park fancy
apartment—it wasn't completely mine yet. The paperwork had my name
on it, sure, but there was that bank loan I had to get so I could
raise the money to move in on turnover day. The monthly payment was
manageable. However, my mom co-signed the loan. I could see why she
would think she had the right to kick me out of it, in favor of a
paying customer.

"I have enough saved up to pay the
bank, mom."

"Until when? Honey, don't be mad
at me. This is good news. Megan's going to college here so you have
a paying tenant for four years. You won't have to worry about the
loan for a long time."

It all made sense, if I imagined that I was someone
else, and I was talking to someone not my mother, meaning our
history of rearranging each other's lives did not exist.

"You don't want it? Are you going
to tell her to find another place?"

"No," I relented, sighing. "It's
fine. I'll be out of here by June."

She was right though, because sometimes I was fine
with letting her be right. How long did I think I was going to be
bumming around? Megan's move could be a good thing.

Chapter 4

During the time when I was into non-exclusively
seeing people, I discovered that I could go out with guys without
necessarily wanting to go further with each one. Whether they
agreed or not was a different thing, and ultimately not my
problem.

What made me want it, was, well, wanting it. Not
something I could explain. I didn't feel it with every guy who
looked, stood, or talked a certain way. Maybe it was Matilda's
fault for planting the thought in my head about Ethan specifically,
but surely I was only open to it because I thought of it first,
because Roxie made me think of it first. Chicken or egg.

Could not speak for all women, but I knew that if I
was on that train, given the opportunity, I'd get off at that
station. If you know what I mean.

The day after the fire drill, I
wandered into the Tower 3 gym after nine p.m. It was empty, and
that was a relief. I never really got used to gyms and being around
people who were grunting and sweating. The only time I ever tried
it, I was in a gym with model types and they all looked at me like
I walked into the wrong room.

But the day after the fire drill I had designated
Action Day.

First I stocked up on groceries, so I finally would
have more than three days' worth in my cupboards.

In between cooking my own meals, I tested out my new
mop on the floors, changed my bed sheets, and brought them to the
laundry shop myself.

And then I went to the gym. It was shiny and new, if
a bit bare. Two treadmills facing the mirrored wall, weights,
something that simulated skiing, two exercise bikes. Ethan happened
by fifteen minutes after I had figured out the treadmill, and he
looked happy to see me.

"Hey," he said, heading over to
the weights. He was wearing a white shirt branded with a company
outing logo from three years ago, and shorts. "I was going to say
hi but wasn't sure where to find you."

His calves looked strong.

"Hi, neighbor." I flashed him a
cheerful smile, while trying to keep up my brisk walk. "I'm at
10J."

He blinked. "Oh. I'm
9J."

Which was how I started thinking about how he had
been under me, every day, all this time.

My treadmill routine was something called a Sunday
Stroll. I just pressed that button randomly and it was counting
down from thirty minutes. He had turned away from me, and I figured
that was a good time to plug in my earbuds and tune him out, and
spare him from having to think of conversation topics again.

Which unexpectedly led me to spend the rest of my
programmed walk watching him lift his endurance weights with my
workout music as the soundtrack.

It was very sexy.

You know why you're doing this, Moira. It's because
you're in limbo.

This meaning checking
out—no—watching neighbor guy as he exercised.

You have a plan, but it's short-term. Expiration
date June. Suddenly anything is a possibility.

Also, when was the last time you were even kissed?
You probably don't remember. Ethan probably isn't even that
good-looking, but your hormones are making you lower your
standards.

No, that wasn't it. Matilda was third-party
confirmation that 9th Floor was a hottie.

Why are you letting Roxie affect you? You never
follow her advice. You don't need to do anything with this guy.
He's just a neighbor, you'll be friends, you'll eventually get a
Real Job, and you'll be on your way.

Right, I told myself, enjoying my own workout pep
talk very much. This stage of my life, it should be simple. Go out.
Make friends. Make some money.

Ethan was asking me a question.

"What?" I said, pulling out my
earbuds.

"Do you want to go get dinner?" he
said. "Maybe in an hour?"

I didn't overthink it. "Yes," I
answered. "Yes, let's do that."

Keep things simple. Make friends.

As it turned out, it would take me one week to find
out exactly how great of a kisser Ethan Lorenzo was.

-/\/\/\-

"It's coffee cotton
candy."

"No way. I'm having that right
now. How much is it?"

"I'll get it for you."

"Thank you. I just cancelled out
my treadmill workout, didn't I?"

"Then you do it again tomorrow. No
big deal. You were saying about your neighbor?"