WeresDigest (12 page)

Feelings floated back to the surface for what had
been, and anger for what couldn’t be. And then there was her emotional and
physical attachment to Vek. She couldn’t deny any longer she had feelings for
him. But how deep were they? And did he feel the same towards her? Only knowing
the look on Shaja’s face would tell her the truth. For she needed to know how
Zi-Den had changed, and whether he loved Shaja, as much as he once love her.

Having a son by her would bring the two closer. A
child who held the key to all their lives in his hands. A key that would calm
the frustrations and fix the past, she felt. Would Vek return to Shaja, or
would he return with her to Auck? And did she want Zi-Den back in her life
again? She didn’t think she could take him away from his wife, or the son he
claimed, though not biologically his own. She didn’t want to disrupt the boy’s
life, but knew she had to go—if for no other reason than to help her dearest
friend through his troubles, and perhaps put an end to the feelings that haunted
her from the past.

The frustrations of so many unanswered questions
didn’t allow her to fall asleep quickly, and once she did, her sleep was filled
with troubled images.

Chapter
Five

For the first two days of the journey, Letha stayed to
herself away from the men. She kept her bedroll nearby, but trekked in silence
along them. Occasionally she’d speak a word to them, and saw Vek and Zi-Den
conversing, but still kept to herself mainly, just as Hajin did. The weather
and fortunately the wildlife and such hadn’t halted their steady course towards
Strank. Come the third day of their journey they saw storm clouds in the sky.
They were near the start of the mountains when a slight drizzle hit them. Hajin
found the caves they could stay in for the last part of their journey. As it
was still late afternoon, he took his leave of them, knowing they could make
the rest of their journey on their own. But he had to get to his next client
before the weather turned severe. Hajin didn’t use those new powered scooters,
land bikes as they called them, since there were not good smooth trails in the
Betweenlands; nor were there any spots a flying vessel could make a safe
landing, even a small airship.

She’d been in the small section of caves the first
time she crossed the Between-lands to go to Auck. Her late parents had been in
the enforcement business and Major-Sheriff Braden had once been a friend of
theirs, which is why she’d gone to Auck after she divorced Zi-Den. She’d been
there ever since and knew she didn’t regret the training her old family friend
had given her or a purpose again in life. Auck was her life and once Letha felt
she straightened out the haunts of her past, she was bent on returning to her
life there. Now she just wanted to rest a bit before they ventured the last
half-day journey toward Strank.

Vek suggested as much, that they rest in the caves for
a short while, to make sure the weather didn’t worsen. Unfortunately, it did
within an hour after they stopped in the caves for a rest break. It poured down
and a storm hit them fiercely within another hour after that. With groans from
the three, they knew they’d have to camp for the night and continue their trek
the next day early, should the weather permit.

Letha made her bedding close to the fire they built
but far enough a way from the men. She didn’t intend to make chit-chat with
them any more tonight than she had the last few days on the journey. Even
though she missed Vek’s closeness, he hadn’t seemed to mind and didn’t go out
of his way to pull her into a conversation or his arms. Not that circumstances
allowed them closeness. But neither had Zi-Den for which she was glad. She’d
thought about him a lot off and on during the trek and also Vek. Yet, until she
knew what they both were going to do, her plans for life were on hold. She
sighed, knowing that tonight she might have to talk with them.

There were things she needed to know, she supposed.
Like what to expect from others upon their return. Zi-Den needed to catch them
up on what went on in Strank and with his social life in order for her and Vek
to be able to somewhat fit in to a society they hadn’t been around for many
years. Once the fire was going, the three sat around the campfire, listening to
the rain fall steadily and heavily outside the cavern. They had a partial view
of it not hidden behind some boulder near the cavern’s opening.

After they’d eaten, refreshed, and tossed their bits
of their meal remains into the fire, she sat staring at the fire and then felt
Vek move closer to her. She briefly glanced at him then curled her arms around
her feet, waiting for him to speak or just sit with her in companionable
silence. His nearness brought warmth in two ways, comforting warmth from the
slight chill outside and needful heat for which her body cried out. She’d
missed their lovemaking and they hadn’t gotten that close since a few days
before they started this journey.

Inwardly she was in turmoil but tried to stay calm and
decisive. Having both men near her wasn’t helping in some ways, but it was out
of necessity they had to be around each other. None had yet voiced what was on
their minds. Perhaps they were waiting for her to open up. She wasn’t sure if
that was true or not, but she knew she had to know what to expect upon their
return to Strank. Decision made she glanced from Vek to Zi-Den, who looked
surprised she would even deign to.

“We need to talk about what’s been going on since Vek
and I left. Has society changed any, Zi-Den. Will either of us look like social
misfits? You haven’t told us about how both your parents are accepting all
this?”

He played with a stick at his feet for a few seconds,
then crossed his ankles and hugged his knees before he answered her. He glanced
first at Vek then her. “My parents were sticklers back then, Letha, and our
society wasn’t too accepting of non-full weres marrying and interbreeding. It’s
more customary now to see it. Some of the old ways are not completely gone but
more acceptance is there. Shaja and I don’t socialize a lot unless it deals
with Thane or the occasional visit from our parents. Both our parents dote on
him.”

“They know I’m his biological father?” Vek asked.

Zi-Den nodded. “With him being so ill we had to tell
them. They’ve done all they could to support us through his illness and know I’ve
come to bring you back. I don’t think they expected you, Letha.”

“I’ve come to lend a close friend my support. That
good enough for you and them?” She almost snarled then became tight-lipped. “I
didn’t mean to sound harsh. What’s past is past, Zi-Den.” She quickly stood up.
“I need to take care of a personal issue. Excuse me.”

The two men watched her leave before turning to look
at one another again.

“You’re more than a friend to her, Vek, even if
neither of you realize it completely.”

“That’s for her to decide,” Vek stated flatly. “And
perhaps you.”

Zi-Den tilted his head to one side. “I’m married, Vek.
And that depends on you and Shaja of course if she and I stay that way.”

Vek wasn’t sure what to make of the man’s counter
words. “It’s a messy deal all the way around. Were you really surprised to find
her in Auck? How hard did you try to find her?”

“I was lousy in what I did, but I can’t change the
past, nor can you.”

Vek picked up a pebble and threw it into the fire.
“Yeah, neither of us can. Like you said, Shaja is your wife. Letha is another
matter, and that’s between me and her. Butt out.”

“I can say the same to you, but again that’s an
entirely different matter too.”

He stood up but kept his eyes on Zi-Den. “Yeah, it is.
Get some rest, we continue on tomorrow.”

“You two had better do the same.” Zi-Den arose and
walked away from Vek.

Vek let out a gruff harrumph and went in the direction
Letha had taken.

* * * *

Letha walked to the cavern pool not far from their
encampment, that she’d found on an earlier excursion today. She pulled off her
sockettes and low-heel boots and tentatively stuck one foot in the water. It
felt cool and refreshing. Though it might still be a bit chilly outside, the
temperature in the cavern was slightly dry and faintly warm in spots. It wasn’t
a deep hole, but enough she knew she could sit in and wash the dust off of her.
She glanced around making sure the men hadn’t followed her, then ventured to
take the rest of her clothing off. First her jacket, then her shirt and pants.
She hadn’t worn anything else beneath her clothing, she liked going as natural
as possible.

Sliding down into a sitting position into the pool,
she closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence around her, other than her heart
thumping loudly, echoing into the stillness of the small cavern. She sighed and
slid further into the pool, half lying on her side. She let her shoulder-length
hair sway into the water and shifted her head to lie  lightly against the rocky
embankment. It felt good and relaxing and she made her inner being relax with
the flow of the water.

Then she smelled him. Vek. He’d walked so softly, had
always really for such a big man. She didn’t have to look up to know he stood
near the pool, waiting, watching her. Slowly she turned her head to view him.
His eyes flittered, taking in her nakedness, and yet he scrutinized her. She
did not want to try to read his emotions, and closed her own to him. He tilted
his head to one side and knelt beside her. She slowly sat up but did not reach
out for him.

“You have something to say?”

“You were a little hard on him, Letha.”

She shrugged. “We’ve all been tense lately.”

“Why did you truly come on this journey?”

“For you, Vek.”

“Why?”

She shrugged again. “Does it matter?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“We’re friends, Vek. I’m here for moral and emotional
support.”

“And you had to see for yourself didn’t you?”

She stood up on her knees, so very close to him.
“Yeah, I did. See how you react with her, see your son. A part of you is in
Strank, perhaps always will be. But that’s something that can’t be helped.”

“No, it can’t be.” He reached out and stroked her
cheek. “But what we have is special too, Letha. Never forget that.”

She didn’t reply as he studied her face seriously.
Then suddenly, without another word, he stood up and walked away from her.
Letha slumped back down into the pool. She let out a soft groan and slid fully
under the water. It wasn’t until much later that she got out of the pool, shook
herself dry as possible and put her clothing back on. The fire was still going
when she returned to the campsite, but both men were quietly laying in their
bedding, neither looking at the other. She hoped they were asleep, but doubted
it as she got quickly into her own bedroll. Its thickness warmed her quickly
and she closed her eyes, her tired mind letting her finally rest for the night.

* * * *

Vek knew it would be hard on them all, but it was
something each of them had to deal with in their own way. In the long run, he
knew it was best she came with them on this journey. Both of them had their
emotional ghosts to dissipate, and find out where their hearts truly lay. He
knew until then, he wouldn’t touch her body again. He’d given her an opening
earlier but she hadn’t responded. He ached with need for her, but so did his
heart. But right now his main concern was to focus on a son he did not know.

How could he become part of a child’s life that did
not know him? Would the boy even want to? The thought both saddened and
strengthened his resolve to do what he needed to do to save the child’s life.
He owed Zi-Den, Thane, and Shaja that much, and Letha too. They were all thrust
together by circumstances not of their own choosing. But when his son was safe,
there were choices that had to be made.

His son. The thought both scared him and made him
proud. He wanted to know Thane and wished he had sooner. He respected Zi-Den
for coming and for looking for him. Had Shaja wanted this? Even though the
child needed his blood, his genetic makeup too? He hoped so on several levels.
They’d conceived a child from love…but was that love still there?

The thought shook him explosively and sadly at the
same time. What would he feel for Shaja when he saw her again? Yes, he was
curious. He wanted to know what she looked like, what her feelings for him were
now? Should anything of what they had still linger in her heart? Did she want
him in her life and in her heart once more?

Now he understood what Zi-Den and Letha were going
through. Damn this was all a fucking mess in several ways for them all. What
would they do once Thane got better? He sighed, knowing he’d find out soon
enough…

* * * *

Zi-Den heard their light tossing in their bedrolls as
the two tried to fall asleep. He wasn’t doing much better himself. Tomorrow
would be their near-journey’s end. At least the one to get to Strank. But
emotionally, more angst for them all was sure to follow.

Did Shaja know what it would truly bring upon them
all? They’d only briefly talked about things. But what did she truly feel
inside her heart. Would she want Vek again? Want the man in her son’s life. His
son. Thane was his son too. He couldn’t let Vek take him from Shaja or their
home. Yet he’d seen no intent to do so from Vek. They’d only known each other a
short time, but he sensed the other were was honorable. He could not doubt the
other man unless he showed otherwise.

He would not cause trouble for Shaja either. He cared
too much for her and wanted her to be happy, no matter what it took from him.
These sudden thoughts, these deep ones perturbed him. Besides saving Thane’s
life, what had he brought upon them all?

His thoughts were mainly on Shaja, not Letha lately.
But she had occupied part of them. She’d kept to herself during the trek from
Auck to Strank, but he felt her eyes upon him occasionally. Did she once think
back to what they use to have? To the love they once shared? Or of what might
have been had he not caved in to his parents’ wishes? He knew the two of them
needed to talk and once Thane was safe, he would do just that. Their lives had
to get untangled and shadows of the past dissolved.

Thumping his bed pillow into place Zi-Den grumbled
mentally about the damn mess things were in for all of them right now. He had
to make himself get some rest, for tomorrow would be a physical end to their
journey from Auck to Strank. He’d see his family again, and make damn sure all
loose ends were tied up, too.