What a Boy Needs (34 page)

Right now I feel like more of a man than I ever have.

"I don't care what you do to me. How much you threaten me." Now, it's me walking closer to him. I won't let him back me down. "The girl upstairs is all that matters. And that sure as hell isn't taking your money and keeping my mouth shut so you can do what you want.
”

Mike hates me, and why? Because of something I had no control over. Nothing I ever would have done would be enough for him, and why? Because his ego couldn't handle the fact that once, even for one night or one hour, Mom wasn't under his thumb.

That isn't my fault. It doesn't say anything about me.

I know Mom doesn't hate me, but I think she might hate herself. Does that hurt? Yep, but I can't control it. I can't stop her. She's made her choices. They were never mine to make and I can't stop her or change her mind.

It's not my fault.

The man standing in front of me is a selfish liar. He doesn't want me around his daughter because of his skewed freaking vision of what is important.

Not my fault.

And I don't want to be like him.

How they see me isn'
t my fault.
How could I have not realized this before?

I would do anything for Priscilla, Sebastian,
Aspen
.
For Courtney, or
even for mom.
I would have even walked away from Priscilla.
I'm damn proud of that person.

And no one will make me walk away from Pris again.

"I don't care what you think of me or what you offer me. I care about Priscilla and how I'm going to
go up
to her room and break her heart because of you."

"You don't have to do anything. I heard it all." Pris walks down the stairs, her head held high.

"Priscilla. We need to talk." Her dad steps toward her, but my girl holds up her hand. All brave and strong in a way I never used to be.

"We don't need to do anything." She stops right in front of him.
"How long?"

My feet carry me toward her. I stand behind her because I know she can do this on her own and because I want her to know I'm here if she needs me. I'll always have her back.

"Now isn't the time, Priscilla." His whole stance has changed. He’s nervous and stiff.

"Now is the only time!" she yells and then looks at the woman who doesn't look so smug anymore.
"How long?"

"A year and a half."

Priscilla flinches, but keeps going. "Was she the only one?"

"Don't demand answers from me, young lady."

"Was.
She.
The.
Only.
One?"

A slight shake of his
head is the only answer she needs.

"Did you know you never made me feel like I was good enough? That I never would be unless I became like you? I don't want to be anything like you.
Nothing.
And Jaden is more of a man than you'll ever be."

There's a slight shake in her voice and I can tell she's not going to be able to hold it together much longer. I step forward and grab her hand.

"Are you ready to go?"

She looks at her dad one last time. "Yeah...yeah, I'm ready."

With that we walk outside, straight past mom's car. I don't need it. Don't want it. We walk silently until we get to Courtney's. As soon as we step onto the porch, Pris loses it. I wrap my arms around her and hold her. "I'm sorry.
So fucking sorry, Priscilla."
The words keep coming out over and over. "I love you."

When the tears finally ease up, she wipes her eyes, before zeroing them in on me.

"Do you know how incredible you are, Jaden Sinclair? How rare you are? How good a person you are?"

I look at her and smile, "Yeah. I'm learning that. I really am." And I do.
For real.
I see who I am and though I'm not perfect, I like what I see.

***

The second we get to the baggage claim in New York, Sebastian is coming right for us.

"About time you guys got back! We were worried."

I laugh at him. "Dude, you sound like your mom."

"Sebastian! Get back in here! Give them some space or time or something," Aspen yells from behind him.

"There's always time for me!" He tosses back at her before stopping and staring at us. I can tell he wants to ask us a million questions, that he's wondering what went down, but he doesn't do anything but stand there. For Sebastian's big mouth, that is huge.

"What are you guys doing here? We could have taken a cab back by ourselves," Priscilla asks, but I just shake my head. I'm not surprised at all. I know she's not really, either.

"Dude!
We didn't know what happened. Just that you guys went home." He shrugs. "We needed to make sure things were okay, or whatever."

I don't mention that since we're back, everything is obviously okay. It's cool he cares.

He's a nutcase.
Obnoxious.
Loud.
But he's my best friend. A kick ass friend, who I'm honored to have and who probably thinks the same thing of
me
.
Especially the obnoxious part.

"You just didn't want to miss any excitement."

"No shit. That's a given."

Aspen punches his arm.
"Bastian!
You're so bad."

"That's not what you said last—ouch!" he says as she hits him again. "I'm sorry, baby. You're right. I'm bad and you're awesome. Just don't hit me again."

Then we're all quiet and I know they know something big went down. There
are hundreds of people around u
s in the airport. People run into us, but it doesn't matter. I'm glad they're here.
All of them.
I hold out my fist and Sebastian bumps it.

"
Dios!
Enough with the stupid boy stuff." Priscilla puts one arm around me and the other around Aspen. Aspen returns Priscilla's hold and then puts her other arm on Sebastian. Without a word, he and I complete the circle.
A tight, unbreakable circle.
We probably look like idiots, but I don't care and I'm sure they don't, either.

How could I not have known I have everything I need right here? That these people wouldn't be my friend if I wasn't as incredible as they are?

I'm awesome. Does it sound cocky? Yep, but it's true.

I'm awesome because of them and they just might be the way they are because of me.

I have a girl I love.

I have my friends, who I love as well.

Courtney and Roger and maybe even the person who lives on the address in my pocket.
One day, I might go there.
Or not.
I don't think it really matters. I know who I am. These people know who I am. I have everything I need right here.

"I hope this doesn't mean we plan on hugging all the time, Jay. I mean, you're my boy but..."

"You're so stupid." I shake my head. "You're my boy too, but you're definitely not pretty enough to keep hugging."

But none of us let go right away.

I remember something Sebastian said before. Something I rolled my eyes at, at the time.
"A package deal."

"All for one, or whatever," he adds.

Epilogue

"New York is way too freaking cold in the winter." I blow on the coffee in my hand.
My gloved hand.
Priscilla is sitting next to me in the brown leather booth.

"It's not that bad. You're such a baby."

"Your baby."
Leaning over I nuzzle her neck. I don't even care that the words are cheesy. I would have made fun of Sebastian for saying them a few months ago. I woul
d probably still make fun of
him if he said the same thing, just for a laugh. It's different when I say stuff like that though.

"I don't know whether to roll my eyes at you or swoon."

I love that my girl speaks her mind and is tough as nails.
So hot.

"How about you roll your eyes now just because you're sexy when you're frustrated and you can swoon when we're alone?"

This really makes her roll her eyes and I even get a swat on the arm for it.
Totally worth it.

Priscilla, Sebastian, and Aspen are all on winter break from school. We went home for a bit, but came back because school starts again in a few days.
For all of us.
It'll be my first semester and I'm only taking a few classes, but I'm cool with that. I'll owe a ton in loans when I'm done, but I'm cool with that, too. Feels good that I'm going to start at all, and that I'm doing it on my own, so the rest of it doesn't matter. I'm thinking Engineering.

"What time do you work tomorrow?" I kiss her neck. She works at this coffee shop.
Loves it.
Her dad wasn't too happy about it, but she doesn't really care what he's happy about. She's who she is and he can take it or leave it. Her mom seems pretty proud though. And she comes out to visit often, too. Their divorce will be final in a few weeks, I think.

"Nine. Listen, are you sure you want me here, Jay? I totally understand if you want to do this by yourself. I mean, you're meeting your dad for the first time. I don't want to intrude."

I pull my face out of her neck and look at her. "You never intrude." Pushing her hair out of her face, I tuck a strand behind her ear. "I need you here."

She cocks her head. "You don't need me, Jay."

"Fine, then I
want
you here. I know I can do it on my own, but I don't want to."

"Are you nervous?"

"No. Yeah.
Kind of.
I mean, it's a big thing, ya know?" I called him for the first time mid-September. Seriously hard, let me tell you.

But he didn't know about me. He'd never known. I knew him and my mom were young and I don't even know how she still knew where he was or found him again to give me the info, but what matters is he never didn't want me—he didn't know I was out there.

We've talked for over three months.
Every
friggin
' week.
He calls a lot. He's an architect. Loves old buildings and his wife said he takes half the stuff around their house apart all the time. Apparently he's not as good as me at putting it back together again.

I'm the man, what can I say?

"It's a huge thing. I totally understand. You'll be great though, and he'll love you."

I think about all our phone calls. All the things he's said to me. How he's wanted to meet me from the first day I called him, but waited until I was ready. I offered to come to him, but he wouldn't have it. He wanted to come to me. No one in my life but my four best friends and Sebastian's mom
have
ever given a shit about me like that.

It feels awesome.

"He already does, Priscilla. I think he already does." And if things don't work out, I'll still be okay. I don't need anyone else to prove to me who I am.

She leans forward and kisses me.

"What was that for?"

"For being you...and because you're hot."

I wink at her. "Well, we know that."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Jaden?"
A voice says from next to the booth. I look over to see my dad.
My real dad.
His hair is light brown like mine. And he's smiling.

"Umm...yeah.
Hey. It's me."

I stand up and he pulls me into a hug and cries. Tension seeps out of my body.

It's at this moment I realize Priscilla and I have exactly what we wanted. With or without him, we're exactly what we wanted to be...happy. Having a dad is a pretty cool bonus, though.
I can’t wait to see just how cool it can be.