What a Sista Should Do (27 page)

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Authors: Tiffany L. Warren

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BOOK: What a Sista Should Do

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Reading Group Guide

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. “When do I get a day?” Troy asked Pam. Was his complaint legitimate? Is it possible to overdo church activities and doing for God, to the neglect of family? Why or why not?

_____________________________________________________________

2. Why did Taylor agree to keep Luke’s identity as father a secret? Do you think she made the right decision? Why or why not? (See
John 8:32
;
James 5:16
.)

_____________________________________________________________

3. Where do you draw the line between “sharing concerns” and “gossiping”? (See
Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 18:8
;
26:20
. Contrast
Ephesians 5:11-14
.)

_____________________________________________________________

4. Now that you have “met” Pam, Taylor, and Yvonne, what impressions have you formed about each woman?

_____________________________________________________________

5. Taylor reflects on how the church has responded to her as an unmarried mother—with suspicion, contempt, judgment, assumptions about her character and availability. How
should
the Christian church respond? (See
Ephesians 4:29-32
;
Colossians 3:12-14
.)

_____________________________________________________________

6. “I still supported Troy,” Pam said, “. . . I didn’t back him 100 percent, but I was still in his corner.” What does it mean to you for a woman to support her husband (or for a husband to support his wife)? What does such support look like?

_____________________________________________________________

7. Yvonne reflects on the “old school” versus contemporary views on divorce. What do you think about it? Are today’s women right or wrong to “take no stuff” from a brother? Why?

_____________________________________________________________

8. Compare the plights of Taylor and Pam in chapters 7 and 8. With whom do you most identify? How much sympathy do you have for the other? Whose situation is worse? What does Jesus say about each challenge? (See
Matthew 5:3-11
.)

_____________________________________________________________

9. Contrast the attitude of Yvonne (chapter 6) and Taylor (chapter 9) concerning the same charitable act (e.g., boys’ clothes). How does Scripture deal with giving and receiving “charity”? (See
Matthew 6:1-4
.)

_____________________________________________________________

10. Pam is shocked by Taylor’s confession and doesn’t know what to say. How do we minister to those with whom we can’t sympathize? (See
James 2:12-13
;
1 Peter 3:8-9
.)

_____________________________________________________________

11. Of the three people involved (Luke, Yvonne, Taylor), whom do you find yourself holding most responsible for this “love triangle”? Whom do you find most sympathetic? Why?

_____________________________________________________________

12. Pam said, “I’d trade this check to have Troy sitting next to me on Sunday morning.” What answer to prayer would
you
trade for $3.5 million? (See
Luke 16:19-31
;
James 5:5
.)

_____________________________________________________________

13. Read the story of Hagar and Abraham in
Genesis 16
. What it an apt Scripture for Pam to cite to Taylor? Why or why not?

_____________________________________________________________

14. Compare Yvonne and Taylor’s uncertain and ambivalent desire to talk to each other about the affair (chapters 16,17,18). Where would
you
start if you were in their shoes? What Scriptures might offer wisdom for the task?

_____________________________________________________________

15. Why did Pam’s prayer feel like a betrayal to Yvonne? Have you ever felt a desire to keep God on
your
side, not your “enemy’s”? How does Christ’s exhortation in
Matthew 5:44
address that dynamic?

_____________________________________________________________

16. Pam is aware that Troy is trying to reach out—but she isn’t sure how to reciprocate. How has anger kept you from building bridges across relational chasms? (See
Psalm 95:8
;
Matthew 6:14
;
Ephesians 4:32
.)

_____________________________________________________________

17. Why is Taylor so suspicious of Spencer? Does she have grounds for it? Why or why not?

_____________________________________________________________

18. Yvonne describes marriage as an electric fence—once her protection and now a prison. How can the same relationship be both things? Can you empathize with Yvonne’s perspective? Why or why not?

_____________________________________________________________

19. What do you think about Pam’s idea to invite
both
Yvonne and Taylor to Jamaica? Was she crazy or courageous? A mediator or meddler? When have you been stuck between two friends? How did you handle it?

_____________________________________________________________

20. Why
can’t
Taylor just sit back and enjoy her date with Spencer? What do you think Spencer might do to make her more comfortable (if anything)?

_____________________________________________________________

21. Is it true that “you can’t hate someone that you’re praying for”? Why or why not? How does Taylor’s prayer seem to break down some of Yvonne’s hostility?

_____________________________________________________________

22. What
does
it mean for Yvonne and Taylor that Yvonne voices her forgiveness? Do you believe God really can open up such a relationship between two women with that kind of history? Why or why not? (See
Colossians 3:13
;
1 John 1:9
.)

_____________________________________________________________

23. The women (especially Pam) discover relief and joy in sharing their burdens instead of hiding their cares. (See
Galatians 6:2
.) Why do we try to do it alone?

_____________________________________________________________

24. “I no longer respect this man as my husband. I don’t acknowledge his headship.” Was Yvonne right or wrong to feel so? What does it mean for her to recognize this shift in her feelings?

_____________________________________________________________

25. Taylor admitted that staying at New Faith became a form of penance; now she realizes maybe she
does
want Spencer to judge her. Why? Why can’t she (or we) accept the grace of forgiveness?

_____________________________________________________________

26. “Everybody needs a tantrum now and then.” Do you agree or disagree? How can we express the violence of our emotions in healthy and appropriate ways?

_____________________________________________________________

27. Yvonne has already admitted she didn’t know what forgiving Taylor would mean. Now she is trying to sort out what it would mean to forgive a philandering spouse. What
does
it mean?

_____________________________________________________________

28. Is Taylor right—should Pam go to Troy’s shows? Why or why not? How does
1 Peter 3:1
apply to such a decision?

_____________________________________________________________

29. Why did (or do) you want to get married? What changes might be necessary for you to become a more effective spouse?

_____________________________________________________________

30. Have you ever felt like Pam—that life is speeding past and you want to get it back? How can a Christian handle that feeling? (See
Ecclesiastes 3:1-15
;
12:1,13
.)

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