What a Woman Needs (29 page)

S
HE
was in bed with Bryan Manley.

The man she loved.

Beth let the smile curve over her lips in the early morning sunlight. He was asleep at her back, his face buried in her hair, the soft puffs of his breath tickling the curve of her shoulder, but Beth wasn’t about to move. She was in love with Bryan Manley. And not
the
Bryan Manley, the heartthrob millions of women thought they were in love with, but the Bryan Manley who cleaned toilets and rescued her dog and taught her son to build a clothesline. Who colored with her daughter and didn’t mind putting on a tiara or having a tea party to make a child—
her
child—happy.
That
was the man she was in love with.

Unfortunately,
that
man was also the same person as the heartthrob, and the heartthrob had dreams that didn’t include kids and dogs and tea parties.

This weekend was a gift. A moment in time. She was going to enjoy it while she had it and treasure it when he was gone. And she’d let him go back to that life with no pressure from her.

“I can hear you thinking.” His breath tickled her ear now.

She scrunched up her shoulder. “You can’t hear thoughts.”

“Sure you can. Your breathing picked up and your fingers are twitching.”

“That’s not hearing; that’s feeling.”

He spread his palm over her breast. “Feeling has a lot to recommend it.”

She put her hand on his and pressed it against her. He might think she was pressing it into her breast for sexual reasons, but she was really pressing it against her heart because that’s where he’d always be.

“Ah . . . It’s true what they say.”

“Oh?”

“Great minds
do
think alike.” He gently squeezed her breast.

Okay, so it wasn’t just because he was in her heart that she wanted him to touch her there.

She wiggled back into him. Yup, another part of him was just as awake as she was.

“God, Beth, don’t do that. I don’t know if there are any more condoms left.”

“We did not go through a dozen of them.”

“Close.”

“Bryan, you’re exaggerating. You’re not Superman.”

“But I could play him on the screen.”

She wiggled again, one time. Hard. “Tease.”

“In a good way, I hope.”

She wiggled again. “Appears so.”

“I meant for you. If you’re too sore, Beth, or too tired, or sick of me . . .”

She flipped around so fast she could tell he hadn’t been expecting it. She cupped his face. “Bryan Matthew Manley, don’t you
dare
say such a thing. I chose
you
to be the first man in my bed since my husband’s death; that’s not a decision I took lightly. I’m very glad you’re here and you’re welcome to stay for as long as you like.”

That was the problem; he wanted to stay forever. But he didn’t
do
forever. Not here and not at this point in his career.
People’s
Sexiest Man Alive was just around the corner, according to his agent, once this movie released; he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. A wife and five kids would take him out of the running—

Whoa whoa whoa! A wife and kids? So you’re thinking along those lines, are you?

He didn’t know what the hell he was doing; he just knew he couldn’t do it here in this town. He was here for the weekend; that was it. Then it’d be back to the hot lights, er, bright lights of Tinseltown, and on his way up the ladder of his career.

Oh crud, he’d meant to get her ladder out of her shed and move it to the garage. The gutters were going to need to be cleaned before fall.

“Okay, what are
you
thinking now? Your face just got a funny look on it.”

“Gutters.”

“
Gutters?
I mean, I know I was a little uninhibited last night, but I don’t think anything we did could be classified as in the gutter, do you?” Beth nibbled her bottom lip.

That move was sexy. Everything she did was sexy. Kissing him, moaning his name, undoing his shorts . . . Even picking up Sherman’s toys and hanging laundry were sexy when Beth did them.

Speaking of Sherman, there was some scuffling going on in the kitchen. “The dog’s up.”

“So is Mrs. Beecham. Which is why Sherman’s up. She likes to poke him in the morning.”

Bryan arched his back. “I’m not averse to poking in the morning, either.”

Beth rolled her eyes with a smile. “I have to let Sherman out or his ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ is going to start any second.” She kissed him quickly—too quickly—and got out of bed.

She picked up her T-shirt.

“Don’t.”

She looked at him with the shirt over her arms, just ready to stick her head through. “Don’t?”

“Don’t put that on. Can’t you let him out like that?”

“Naked?”

He didn’t know if she was more appalled at the idea or the fact that she actually was naked in front of him. “Yes, naked. I want to think of you walking around like that and I’m the only one who can see you.”

“Uh, hate to burst your bubble, Bryan, but the curtains are all open downstairs. The entire neighborhood could get a good view if I went down like this.” She pulled the shirt over her head. “But I’ll keep the panties off if that’ll make you feel better.”

The little imp was out the door with a shit-eating grin while he was still trying to absorb that mental and visual blow.

She was walking around her house without her panties on. The ones he’d peeled off her.

Bryan groaned while he smiled. God, this was fun. And amazing. And absolutely perfect. Beth was absolutely perfect. And maybe if she didn’t have a ready-made family, they could give this a go.

Seriously? You’re going to toss the kids out?

He sat up and raked his hands through his hair. No, of course he wasn’t. Beth and the kids were a package deal and, honestly, he liked her kids. Really liked them. Jason, and his wanting to be a man but needing someone to show him how. Kelsey, with her approaching womanhood and needing the guidance of how not to behave around horny teenage boys. The twins, with their energy and just wanting to be seen as individuals while still being a team . . . He and his brothers were so close in age that he could give them pointers. And then there was Maggie. Sweet, loving Maggie, who just wanted a daddy to hug her.

Give it up, Bryan. You want them. This isn’t just a fling for you. You want Beth and the kids and you’re going to have to figure out a way you can have them because you are not
going to be able to walk away from them. Not if you want to be the man you say you are.

He stood up and arched his back, a couple of kinks needing to be worked out from some of the positions they’d done last night . . .

God. Last night. It’d never been more perfect. More real. More natural. Beth felt something for him. He knew that as well as he knew she’d never say it. She respected his decision to have his career, and she loved her kids enough to not drag them through the circus it could become.

But could he honestly say he wanted
this
to be their relationship? This weekend and maybe one or two more over the next couple of years until the kids were older and on their own? Hell, that was thirteen more years for Maggie.

No. He couldn’t let this be all there was. He wanted Beth in his bed every night and every morning. He wanted her in his home all the time, taking care of the little things that she did so much better than he did. He wanted her kids running around during the day and plopping on the sofa at night with a bowl of popcorn to watch some silly sitcom and talk about their day. He even wanted Sherman and Mrs. Beecham, though he would try to get them to like each other instead of chasing each other all over the place.

He wanted Beth and her family . . . to be his family.

He leaned an arm against the doorframe and rested his forehead against it, looking out over the backyard. There was the clothesline he and Jason had built. The fence he and the twins had fixed when Sherman had gotten out. The yard where he’d posed for pictures for the kids’ friends.

The deck where he’d kissed Beth.

What the hell was he going to do now?

B
RYAN
couldn’t remember a more perfect day, and it’d started so mundanely, so “suburbia.” Well, after he’d made love to Beth again. Twice.

Okay, so that hadn’t been so mundane, but after . . . Well, okay,
after
the shower they took together, and
after
the oral he’d given her in that shower . . .
then
it’d gotten mundane. He’d let Sherman out again, fed the dog and the cat, even stuck a couple of carrots in the hamsters’ cage, grabbed the newspaper from the front porch and read it aloud to Beth while she’d made them omelets for breakfast, er, brunch.

Of course, he’d made sure that she’d sat on his lap while they ate, but still . . . suburbia all the way.

He was kind of liking suburbia . . .

Then they’d gone on a bike ride and decided to take a tour of a local winery. Well, half toured it. The other half of the time, they’d made out among the vines and in the cellars when they could slip away from everyone.

Bryan smiled as he poured the Cabernet they’d bought into the new glasses they’d found in the gift shop—new relationship, new wine, new glasses. That’s what the owner had said, and he and Beth had just smiled and gone along with it.

But Bryan had put a lot of thought into that word. Relationship. It rolled off his tongue so easily—well, his mental tongue because he wasn’t ready to say the word out loud yet. Hell, he didn’t even know if he
could
say the word because a relationship needed two people to work, and he wasn’t sure what Beth wanted to call this thing between them. He didn’t even know if there
was
a thing between them or merely a one-weekend event.

How weird was that? He was used to having to fend women off, yet here he was with a woman he wanted to do the complete opposite, and he had no clue what she’d think of the idea of being in a relationship with him.

“I don’t know if this is warm enough.” Beth carried plates of the Italian take-out they’d picked up on the way home—

Back
. The way
back
. To Beth’s house. This wasn’t home.

But it could be . . .

“That’s okay. If they’re still as good as I remember when I worked there in high school, it won’t matter that they’re not piping hot.”

“I think something’s up with my oven. It seems to be acting up. The other day I had to throw out a whole tray of brownies because the outside was hard as a rock but the inside was still all battery.”

“Battery?” He took the plates of chicken Marsala, Beth’s favorite. He hadn’t known that, but now that he did, he’d never forget. “I don’t think you mean that the way you think you do.”

“Batter-
ee
. As in, like batter, not
a
battery.” She sat down. “Well I’m hungry enough to eat a horse, so I don’t care how hot it is or isn’t.”

“I can vouch for the fact that there is no horse in here, so no need to worry about that.”

She grimaced as she speared a piece of the chicken. “If I weren’t so hungry, that might have killed my appetite.”

“Sweetheart, after this morning, I don’t think
anything
is going to kill your appetite.”

God, he loved when she blushed. He pulled her chair around so she was beside him.

“What are you doing?” she shrieked as she clung to the armrests.

“I want you beside me.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her as close to him as the chairs would allow.

It wasn’t enough.

“Oh.” Her look of surprise melted into a big grin.

He loved to see her smile even more than he loved to see her blush.

Love.
He was tossing that word around a lot.

“The sunset is beautiful.” She swirled her wine glass as she looked at it.

He looked at her. “You’re more beautiful.”

There she went with the blush again.

“God, Beth, do you know what that does to me?”

“What
what
does to you?”

“That little secret smile you get and the way you nibble the inside of your lip and the blush you can’t hide.”

“You’ve been looking very closely.” There she went with the lip-nibbling.

“I can’t
not
look at you, Beth. I can’t help myself. I’m with you and all I want to do is watch you.”

“
All
you want to do?”

“Okay, not
all
, but yes, I like looking at you. Not because you’re physically beautiful, though you are, but because I like seeing
you
. Beth Hamilton the woman. I can’t get enough of you.” He kissed her forehead, lingering as her scent filled him, that lilac shampoo she used and the rose-scented soap and the very essence of her.

“I want you, Bryan.”

His eyes opened and he looked into Beth’s dark eyes where the setting sun was reflected like a fire within her.

“I didn’t come back just to make love to you, you know,” he said.

“I know. But that doesn’t mean we can’t, does it?”

“Oh, so who’s teasing whom now?”

“I hope I can always tease you.” She turned in the chair and grabbed his face with both hands. “Let’s go upstairs, Bryan. I’ve wanted to be naked with you all day.”

“That would have shocked the other people on the wine tour.”

“Hence the reason I didn’t strip you down in front of them. But there’s no one here now and our weekend is almost half over. I want you. I want to be close to you. As close as two people can get.” She kissed him and it was all Bryan could do to recover enough to get them inside because he’d had half a mind to take her right there on the deck.

Beth couldn’t wait to get him upstairs and naked. Like,
literally
couldn’t wait, and for the first time in her life, she had sex on her front hallway stairs.

“You carried condoms in your pocket all day?” she said when they half sat, half slumped on the stairs after one of the most inventive lovemaking sessions she’d ever had. It was a good thing she’d had double padding installed under the carpet.

“You’re complaining?” He grabbed her chin and gave it a playful little shake. “This couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t. Then where would we be?”

“Upstairs?”

“Except
someone
couldn’t wait that long now, could she?” Bryan leaned over and kissed her again, another heart-stopping kiss she felt all the way down to her toes.

She’d almost told him that she loved him. Almost said those three words, and it was only the one iota of sanity that she’d retained as he’d driven her out of her mind with pleasure that had kept her from shouting it as she’d come. Instead, she’d shouted his name. Groaned it. Moaned it. Panted it. Gasped it. But she hadn’t told him she loved him. She didn’t want to ruin the moment and she wasn’t going to let herself think about why giving someone one of the greatest gifts—her heart and her trust—would ruin a moment of such pleasure.
Enjoy the weekend
; Kara’s words had become her mantra.

“Come on, Ms. Impatient. I want you naked on that bed.” He stood up and held out his hand.

“Naked on the stairs doesn’t cut it for you?” Beth took her sweet time standing. The padding wasn’t as thick some places as it was in others.

“Oh it was great, don’t get me wrong.”

As if she could. He’d growled her name for his entire orgasm. She hadn’t been aware that
Beth
could have so many syllables.

“But . . . ?”

“But I want to lie beside you. Feel you against every inch of me. I want to be able to wrap my arms around you and pull you against me and tangle my hands in your hair and caress your body and wrap my legs around you in a way that stairs aren’t conducive to. And maybe there are a few new things I want to try with you.”

Beth shivered in anticipation. “Oh? Such as?”

He tugged her hand and picked up the pace. “You’ll see, Beth. You’ll see.”

He was right, she
was
Ms. Impatient. Beth ran to her room in all her naked glory and threw herself onto her bed.

“Make love to me, Bryan.”

He fully intended to.

And just as he covered her, just as he fell into that first wild and incredibly sexy kiss, it came to him. He
was
making love to Beth. They weren’t having sex or fooling around or hooking up or whatever other people wanted to call it when they were relieving an ache and making each other feel good, but he was
making love
to Beth Hamilton. Giving her his heart and wanting to cherish hers. Wanting to cherish
her
. For the rest of their lives.

“Bryan? Are you okay?” she asked when he stopped moving. When he stopped kissing her and caressing her and . . . breathing.

He wanted Beth forever. And the idea no longer scared him. He wanted her in his life, and the prospect of not having her in it was worse than never getting another script again, because he could live without being in the movies but he couldn’t live without Beth.

“Bryan? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t.” She’d done everything right. “I . . .” He couldn’t say it. Not yet. He had to figure out what it meant for him first. What it meant for them. And then there were the kids to consider.

“You what?”

He looked at her worried face. At that dear, gorgeous, sexy, wonderful, passionate face, and he smiled. “I lost my breath for a moment. Just looking at you . . . You take my breath away, Beth.”

Tears sprung to her eyes.

“Aw, shit. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

She shook her head and smiled. “No, they’re good tears. This is a good thing.”

“If you say so.” He brushed the hair off her face and looked into those sparkling brown eyes he wanted to stare at for the rest of his life.

He ought to tell her. She had to know it, right? Had to see it written all over his face? He loved her. He loved Beth Hamilton.

And it didn’t scare him.

No, it energized him. It gave him hope and a purpose and a sense of belonging that, until now, he hadn’t realized he was missing. He’d thought his brothers and his sister and his grandmother were all the family he needed. All the connection and ties he wanted in his life, but, God, how wrong he’d been.

“You’re starting to scare me, Manley.” Beth bit her top lip.

That was new. And he didn’t want to be the cause of any worry. “I’m just looking at you. Being amazed that I’m here. That you’re here.”

“Why? This can’t be a surprise or you never would have come back.”

How wrong she was. Nothing could have kept him away; he saw that now. He was drawn to Beth as if his life depended on it.

And maybe . . . just maybe . . . it did.

“That’s where you’re wrong Beth. I had to come back. This is too strong between us. I had to find out what was here.”

“And . . . ?”

He felt her catch her breath, felt her hold it, as if his answer was important to her.

She loved him. He knew it then. As sure as he knew he loved her, he knew that Beth loved him.

He bent down and kissed her. Not the passion-filled, couldn’t-get-enough-of-her kiss his body would demand in a few moments, but a pledging sort of kiss. One that said he cherished her and valued her and would honor her all the days of their lives if she’d let him.

Holy hell. How was he going to pull this off? There was still the circus of his life to contend with. He wasn’t naïve enough to think that a declaration of love would make all the problems disappear, but there had to be a way.

Her husband had figured it out. The guy had had to travel a lot as a pilot; he’d left Beth alone with the kids to raise them by herself. To handle all the problems and issues and whatever else came along while he’d been gone, and she’d still loved him enough to be mourning his death two years later. Beth knew how to love that way; it was something Bryan was going to have to learn if he wanted a future with her. Question was, would she want one with him?

“You’re thinking again.”

“Ah, so now
you
can hear
my
thoughts?” He worked that cocky grin onto his face, needing its cover to shield her from the thoughts filling his mind. Why
would
she want a future with him? She’d already said she couldn’t go through a media circus again, and even if he retired today, the press would be after him, wondering
why
he’d retired, what he was going to do next, and was Beth the reason? Then there’d be the stories about her history, and the kids would be dragged through the whole thing all over again. Of
course
she wouldn’t want that. Maybe this weekend was all she could handle. Maybe it was all she wanted. A memory-making time together that would have to last the rest of their lives, because getting involved on a permanent basis was too much work.

“Bryan? Are you okay? Do you not want to do this?” Her hands stilled in the small of his back, and Bryan had to pull himself back to the moment.

Stop borrowing trouble.
Gran had always said that. Told him he was too introspective at times.

“Of course I want to do this, Beth.” He pulled that cocky grin back out, his shield from the world, the one that covered what he was feeling inside and let everyone think he was okay.