What He Bargains (What He Wants, Book Nineteen) (32 page)

Jake’s eyes crinkled up as though she’d just spit at him. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just act like my ex,” he said bitterly.

“Your ex?”

He ripped another napkin from the dispenser and wiped a glob of sauce from his thumb. “Let’s not go there.”

“Which ex?” Raven said. Something about this comment from him both terrified her and also excited her. He was comparing her to a real relationship from his past, but at the same time, it wasn’t a very positive comparison.

“It’s nothing I want to talk about,” he said. He wiped at his hand over and over again. “We should go. I think your lousy appetite is infectious.”

“Jake,” she said, trying to halt the meltdown that was happening between them. “I didn’t mean to attack you,” she told him.

“It’s fine Raven,” he said, his face a cold mask. “You didn’t want to talk about it, so forget I asked.”

“I do want to talk,” she said, wishing she could take back her sudden burst of anger and frustration. If only she wasn’t so sensitive, wanting him to always prove how much he cared for her. The thought that maybe this was all still a big act was starting to eat her up inside.

Jake shook his head. “Come on, we should get back to the hotel. Kurt’s probably going to have a fit if we don’t meet with him soon and go over the schedule.”

Great, Raven thought. Not only had she alienated Jake when he was finally starting to trust her, but now she was going to have to deal with his asshole manager again.

Jake dumped the trash and then texted his driver. Moments later, the black sedan had pulled up in front of the pizza shop and then they were getting inside.

Moments later, the two of them were rushing out of the car and into the hotel together.

Raven realized that she was already getting used to the bizarre alternate universe that Jake inhabited, as she exited the car and ignored the paparazzi and their screams and camera flashes as if they hardly even mattered.

F
inally
, Raven had some free time.

Jake had been decidedly cold as they’d separated from one another after getting off the elevator. He’d checked his phone and told her to relax for an hour or two and then he’d let her know when Kurt was ready to meet.

She’d almost tried to make an excuse not to meet with them, but was too afraid of making an already bad situation worse.

Instead, she’d merely agreed to the plan and then retreated to her hotel room, crawling into bed and searching the news outlets and social media platforms for evidence about where public opinion was in regards to Jake.

Raven’s name was starting to pop up more and more, but right at the instant she looked, most of the public was still in an uproar over the leaked video footage of Jake ranting about suicide being for losers.

From what she gathered, a lot of the press was negative, and even those defending Jake were doing so in rather backhanded fashion.

There were a lot of calls for an apology, an explanation, and a lot of people saying that he was just another example of the entitled and spoiled Hollywood brats like Justin Bieber, Kanye West and Shia Labeouf, as well as other poor role models littering the sports and entertainment industry.

Some were saying that Jake had been young and he was more mature now, but almost everyone agreed that a public apology, one that was honest and heartfelt, was needed to quell the growing cries for Jake Novak’s head.

If he didn’t get ahead of this thing, if he didn’t do some serious damage control, it was theorized that he would lose some of possibly all of his big endorsement deals and even his tour might end up floundering.

Raven’s own name came up a few times in the news, but for the most part, she was just talked about in passing. There were some photos showing them walking through New York City together.

Raven couldn’t help but study the myriad pictures of her and Jake together, marveling that she was suddenly on the other side of the equation. How many times had she casually glanced at an US Weekly cover, read an article, watched some piece on TMZ and made judgments—without ever once considering that the people being discussed and filmed and photographed were real people with real lives?

Even now, looking at pictures of them in New York from the last day or two, it almost seemed to make the whole thing—including her—feel so much less real.

It was as though she’d become an object, even to herself.

She could sit there and evaluate her own expressions, the tilt of her head, the truth of the smile on her face, the way Jake was glancing over at her as they walked together on a city street.

I look like I belong with him
, she thought.

Was that just insanity?

After all, there was no way to believe that she was anywhere near his league in terms of looks and sex appeal. Clearly, Jake was slumming when it came to her.

But Raven couldn’t stop examining the pictures of them together, and the way they looked at one another, and she thought that they really did look like a real couple.

Was it all still an act for Jake?

She knew it wasn’t an act anymore for her, and maybe it had never really been an act. She was turned on by Jake Novak in so many ways, and now that he’d defended her, stood up for her—the feelings had only grown in intensity.

But Jake was a different animal. She couldn’t figure him out. One minute he was suggesting that what was going on was real, but the next he seemed like a cynical star plotting to keep his name on the front page in the best possible light that he could.

Isn’t that the point?

Isn’t that exactly what he’s supposed to be doing? The poor guy can’t win with you, Raven. You want him to act like your boyfriend, you want him to try and fix his PR issues, and then you hold it against him when he does it.

Raven knew it wasn’t fair of her to pretend she was okay with the business arrangement between them when in reality she wanted more from him.

Jake had been honest and up front with her from the beginning, so she had no one to blame but herself for this conflict between what she wanted and what he was willing to give her.

Of course, then she thought about the way Jake had continued to touch her, to kiss her, to do things to her that had no place in a business relationship.

And that made her mad, and then she got more confused, which caused her to only go on her phone and check the news and social media more, as if somehow the truth would be revealed to her through the outside world.

In the midst of her internet surfing frenzy, she got a text from Skylar.

Hanging with the folks. No word yet about the biopsy. How r u doing?

Raven felt suddenly awful for not even texting or calling Skylar—truthfully, not even thinking about her friend for hours and hours. Meanwhile, Skylar was probably worried and terrified, just wanting to get some good news so she could forget this whole horrible nightmare had happened.

Raven texted her back:
I am ok. Should I come hang?

And then quickly came Skylar’s reply.

No its cool. U have fun with your prince charming.

Raven wiped the tears that were streaming down her cheeks now. She didn’t deserve a friend as nice and kind and thoughtful as Skylar. Raven promised herself to be a better friend, to care more, to think less of her own problems.

Text me if you need anything, anything at all
, Raven wrote back.
I don’t care if its 3 am. You call me I will be there in a flash.

Awwww thanks! U are the best, Raven. I luv ya
.

Love you too
, Raven texted. She was smiling now, through her own tears.

Just as she was finally starting to feel a little better, there was a knock on her door.

Startled, Raven got up and went to the door, checking herself quickly in the mirror first just to make sure she didn’t look too much a mess first.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Jake and Kurt,” Jake called back, his voice muffled through the door.

Raven took a deep breath, reminding herself that Jake had no idea what Kurt had said to her on the phone, no idea that his manager had threatened her and tried to bribe her, so she needed to act friendly.

Don’t be weird, Raven. You know Kurt will probably try to rub you the wrong way just to get you to act like a jerk and make Jake hate you. Don’t fall for his plan. Act like everything’s just fine
.

This was even more important now that she’d been so testy with Jake at the pizza shop.

She opened the door and affixed a warm and friendly smile to her face.

The two men entered, Jake looking distracted and maybe even annoyed, Kurt seemingly chipper. “Hey Raven, how are you?” Kurt asked her.

As he walked by, she caught a whiff of aftershave and cigarette smoke, and her nose wrinkled. Something about Kurt just made her want to screw up her face, but she had to try to play the game. Smiling, she shrugged. “Oh, you know, I’m doing as well as can be expected.”

“Yeah, it’s a big circus out there,” Kurt said, nodding, surveying her hotel room as if expecting it to be infested with rats and roaches.

“Can I get either of you a drink or something?” she offered.

“I’m fine,” Jake said, not looking at her.

She hated that he seemed so distant. She tried to catch his eye and smile at him, but he wouldn’t look at her.

“I could go for a beer,” Kurt said.

Raven’s fake smile grew wider. “Let me check with the mini bar,” she told him. She went and grabbed an imported beer and handed it to Kurt, who thanked her and then popped the top, immediately swigging from it.

Jake sat on the edge of a chair and fiddled with the remote control. “So, we need to figure out the next step,” he said.

Kurt agreed. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this myself. With the Boston shows officially cancelled and gossip swirling about your mental state, we need to come out with a decisive win in the next few days.”

“My mental state?” Jake said, his eyes getting that same confused and put off crinkle that he’d had in the pizza shop earlier.

“Yeah,” Kurt said, pacing as he drank from the imported beer Raven had given him. “People are saying that you’ve cracked up. They think the pressure’s gotten to you.”

Jake just shook his head. “People say a lot of things. Why should I care?”

“Because,” Kurt told him, “you’ve suddenly acquired an image problem.” He shot Raven a knowing glance as if to say,
we both know
this is all your fault
.

Jake wasn’t paying attention, so Kurt obviously knew he could get away with his little mind games.

Raven rolled her eyes at Kurt before speaking. “The biggest problem right now is that video of you insulting depressed and suicidal people. We need to find a way to show everyone that you’ve changed.”

“Right, that’s where you come in,” Jake said, finally looking at her. “We need to get your story out there. But it can’t look planned, it can’t look phony and staged.”

Even though it is
.

Even though I wish it wasn’t, and maybe part of me actually believes that you really have changed and you do care about me, instead of only thinking about what I can do for you.

Suddenly, Raven’s phone cell phone was buzzing, and she looked at the caller ID.

The number, at first, was vaguely familiar but for a moment she couldn’t for the life of her remember why—but just for a moment. It was only unfamiliar because she hadn’t seen it in years…even though it should have been as familiar as her own number.

Because it was her own number.

It was her old home phone number, the landline from her parents’ house in Southbridge Massachusetts. She stared at it like she’d seen a ghost.

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked, suddenly taking an interest in her again. “Is it something with Skylar?”

“No,” Raven said, her stomach feeling like someone had dropped it down an elevator shaft. “It’s my parents. Someone’s calling me.”

“Is that bad?” Kurt asked, his tone condescending.

“It’s not bad…” she said, not knowing if that was true or not. “I just haven’t kept in close contact with my family since I moved away when I was seventeen.”

Kurt’s eyes widened and a strange grin crept across his face. “That’s it,” he whispered.

The cell phone stopped ringing and now it just said missed call. She put it away in her purse and tried not to think about it.

“I’ll call them back,” she said, not knowing if she would.

Kurt laughed wildly. He took a long swig from his beer. “This is why I’m a genius,” he said, tapping his head with a finger. “Because I think outside the frigging box.”

“Come on, spit it out already,” Jake said, an edge seeping into his voice.

“The two of you need to go home,” Kurt said, pointing his finger first at Raven and then Jake.

“I don’t get it,” Jake said. “Why should I go home?”

“No,” Kurt corrected him. “You’re going to
her
hometown—together. Back to where she grew up, to meet her family.”

Raven felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said flatly.

“It’s not a good idea,” Jake said.

She breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness Jake didn’t agree with Kurt’s horrible plan.

“It’s not?” Kurt said, his smile turning to a frown.

“It’s a fucking
great
idea,” Jake smiled, hopping off the edge of the chair and holding out his fist for a reply fist bump from his old buddy Kurt.

They laughed and Kurt took another swig of beer and belched.

Raven thought how much she hated Jake’s manager. But she didn’t say anything right away because this wasn’t something she could just flat out refuse to do. If Jake liked the idea, she needed to help him see why it was bad, without telling him the total truth. Especially not with Kurt listening to every word she said, waiting to smell any weakness before he attacked.

“Don’t you think people will view it as Jake running away from everything if he leaves New York, the tour, everything—and escapes to some small town in Massachusetts?” she said.