What He Bargains (What He Wants, Book Nineteen) (35 page)

All signs point to the fact that he is, whether he wants to admit it or not.

Raven got chills thinking about it.

Perhaps Jake doesn’t want to admit what’s going on, but all you have to do is look at the facts and it’s clear that he cares.

Remember what he said when you pushed him to say why he kept coming to your room?

I couldn’t stop thinking about you, that’s what he said.

Raven smiled to herself, and then snuggled up even closer to him, drifting off into another peaceful sleep.

When she woke up again, it was much later and she felt strangely cold and empty. Turning back to see Jake, she realized the emptiness was literal—he wasn’t in bed with her anymore.

The bathroom door was open and there was nobody inside. She listened and heard nobody moving around outside the bedroom.

Jake had left, exactly when, she couldn’t be sure.

Raven realized that she wanted to wake up with Jake beside her, that she was already becoming addicted to the feel of him holding her, of him being next to her, his body was like a drug.

She wanted to see him wake up and smile and make a joke.

But he had gone, for whatever reason.

Sitting up in bed, she reached for her cell phone on the nightstand and found there was a text from Jake.

Had to go to my room 2 grab a shower etc.
Check on Skylar see how she is doing. I will make all arrangements for our trip to Mass. We will there for a day maybe 2 at most. Meet u in the lobby at noon to head out.

Well that explained where Jake had gone—back to his own room for a shower and to ready himself for their upcoming trip.

Raven still couldn’t quite accept that they were going back to Southbridge together. The whole notion was just surreal, absurd, and fraught with risk to her emotional wellbeing.

But there was no fighting it any longer, as she’d already told her mother of the visit and Jake was expecting to go as well.

Jake seemed pretty convinced that this would make a good photo op and lead to the kind of press they desperately needed if he was going to stop being the punch-line on late night television and cable news shows.

What about Kurt, though? Raven wondered as she slid off her t-shirt and turned on the shower, waiting for the water to get sufficiently warm before stepping under the stream from the showerhead.

What was Kurt’s angle? He was the one who’d suggested sending the two of them to her hometown, and it didn’t really make sense. He wanted Raven out of the picture, but there he was, arguing for her and Jake to spend even more time together.

Perhaps he really had accepted that Jake was going through with the plan, and so Kurt was now embracing Raven as a necessary evil. Maybe he was actually trying to help the plan succeed.

Somehow she didn’t really think so. Whatever Kurt was up to, she didn’t trust him any further than she could throw him.

Raven washed up, rinsed off and dried herself, running the towel through her hair. Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she saw a different person looking back at her.

Something in her expression had changed these last few days. What was it?

She couldn’t quite put her finger on it at first, and she even felt that maybe it was just wishful thinking.

You haven’t changed, you’re still the same girl you’ve always been
.

But then she really looked at herself, trying not to judge based on old impressions.
Imagine you’re seeing yourself for the first time.

What do you see?

And that’s when it hit her. Raven had always felt that she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worthy, was somehow lacking.

That lack of confidence was gone now, and in some way it’s disappearance could be seen on her face. Her expression was somehow more confident and self-assured.

Raven smiled, looking at herself as if for the first time.

Is it possible that being Jake Novak’s escort has been good for me? Is it possible this whole ridiculous situation is the best thing that’s ever happened in my entire life?

And then she realized that, yes, it was possible, and moreover, that’s exactly what Jake Novak was—the best thing that ever had happened to her.

S
kylar
and her parents were just finishing breakfast when Raven called her.

“Come downstairs,” Skylar said. “My parents are going back to their room but I’ll just hang here for a minute.”

“You sure?” Raven said, as she stepped into her sandals. She’d dressed in a light blue summer dress and carried a pink clutch. “I can meet you back at your room if you want.”

“No, it’s nice to be here, I can watch everyone in the hotel coming and going. I can even see the paparazzi clamoring around in front of the exit.” Skylar giggled. “You and Jake Novak sure have gotten them excited.”

“I guess we have,” Raven said. “Okay, I’ll be down in two seconds.” She hung up and then grabbed her one suitcase that contained all the things Kurt had brought for her to wear and use while staying at the hotel. Since she would be checking out and leaving, she decided to simply bring it with her.

By the time she was done talking to Sky, it would be pretty much noon, and that meant meeting Jake in the lobby.

Her stomach danced with anxious butterflies as she imagined Jake walking with her, out of the hotel, the photographers snapping their pictures.

And then, the long drive back to Massachusetts—but it would feel far too short for Raven’s tastes. She wished it could have taken a month instead of four or five hours.

She got off the elevator and walked, towing her suitcase, until she saw Skylar sitting at a small table right near the entrance to the hotel restaurant. The entire wall was glass, so patrons could look out into the hotel lobby and the hotel guests could look in and see everything inside the restaurant as they crossed through.

Raven felt a rush of love for her friend, and concern too, as Skylar waved back at her. She was sitting with a cup of coffee and a scone, and she looked almost happy.

Don’t go crying now
, Raven scolded herself.
It will only make her feel bad if you do that. Remember, she’s fine and maybe the test will come back clean.

Raven walked into the restaurant and parked her suitcase next to their table, leaned down and gave her friend a peck on the cheek before finally sitting.

“You look gorg,” Skylar said, eyes wide, taking a big sip of coffee. “What a hot mama.”

“Thanks,” Raven laughed. “What about your clothes?” she said. “You didn’t bring a change of outfit either.”

“My parents brought me stuff from home when they came.”

“That was thoughtful of them. Where are they staying, anyway?”

“Here,” Skylar said. She put her coffee mug down. “Jake didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Skylar picked a piece off her scone and ate it. “He booked my parents a suite here, and it’s open-ended just like mine. All we need to do is inform the front desk if we want to add a night and they do it. He’s paying for everything.”

Now Raven really did want to cry. “Wow, I didn’t have any idea Jake set that up. That was really nice of him.”

“Yeah, and he’s been staying in contact with the hospital on my behalf. No word yet, but they think they’ll have results back in the next day or two for sure.” Skylar gave a smile but this time it was strained, and Raven could tell.

“You holding up okay, Sky?”

Skylar nodded but it wasn’t very convincing. “The hardest part is just waiting. I just want to know either way. It’s too hard trying to hope, because if it’s…if the news is bad, I need to focus on beating this. But I don’t want to assume the news is bad, so I’m like just trying not to even think about it. Which is impossible, turns out.”

“I feel like I’ve been a bad friend,” Raven said. “You’re going through all of this and I’m jet setting around with Jake.” She played idly with a spoon as she stared at the tabletop. “I’m sorry, Sky.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Skylar said. “You’ve been my biggest support, you’ve helped me more than anyone—you and Jake both. I don’t think I could get through this without you guys.”

Raven looked up at her. “We’re supposed to leave for a couple of days, but I’ll cancel.” She grabbed Skylar’s hand. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Jake told me already,” Skylar said. “And I already told him it’s fine. My parents are here with me, I’m okay for now.”

“You and Jake sure have been talking a lot,” Raven joked.

“Raven, don’t be silly. He’s been checking in on me here and there, just like you. Are you really that insecure?”

“Yes.” She grinned a little. It was true, she was insecure, and she had reason to be. But she wasn’t honestly concerned about Jake checking on Skylar. She actually thought it was pretty amazing of him.

“The guy is all about you,” Skylar said, interrupting Raven’s thoughts. “I’ve seen guys in love before, and he’s definitely head over heels,” Skylar continued.

Raven felt her cheeks flush. “I’m not sure it’s as clear cut as you think it is.”

“Or maybe you just like torturing yourself.”

“Maybe.” Raven sighed. “So you’re sure you’re okay if we go out of town for a couple of days?”

Skylar nodded. “Look, even if I do get the result back today or tomorrow, and even if…even if it’s not good…there won’t be anything happening right away. I’ll be meeting with doctors and specialists and scheduling treatments, but nothing’s going to happen while you’re away.”

Raven thought about it, but even though Skylar kept saying she was fine, leaving just felt wrong somehow.

Or maybe you just want to find an excuse not to go home.

She didn’t know which it was—perhaps a little of both.

Just then, Raven saw Kurt walking by, and he was on his cell phone, chattering away. Inadvertently, she scowled, as just seeing him made her a little sick inside.

“What’s wrong?” Skylar asked her. “You got a look on your face like you drank spoiled milk.”

“Just have a bad taste in my mouth is all,” Raven muttered. And then she looked at her friend and smiled, and the smile was genuine. “I’m gonna miss you while I’m away.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Sky said. She took another sip of her coffee. “On the bright side, this is the longest vacation I’ve had in years.”

They both laughed at that, and the timing was good, because a moment later Jake came strolling into the lobby with a bag over his shoulder, looking handsome and put together, wearing dark pants, a beige vest and a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“There’s your hunk of burning love,” Skylar said, nudging Raven under the table with her foot.

“Yeah, I saw him,” Raven said.

“Don’t act so laid back. You’re about to walk out of here with your arm around the hottest guy on the planet.” Skylar pursed her lips. “You can’t really be this calm about it.”

“I’m actually freaking out, I just put on a good act.”

“Maybe you don’t need to put on an act for him to like you.”

“Stop saying such intelligent things, I hate it when you give me good advice,” Raven said, knowing that there was too much truth in her friend’s comment—too much truth to really think about it without getting scared out of her mind. Raven stood up, and then wrapped her arms around Skylar and gave her a long hug. She kissed Skylar’s cheek. “I love you, girl.”

“Love you too. Now go show everyone back home how kick-ass you turned out.”

Raven laughed, grabbing her suitcase and walking out of the restaurant.

Jake was standing there and texting as she approached. He looked up and saw her, and then he saw Skylar and waved to Sky.

“How’s she doing?” he asked Raven as she approached.

“She’s good. Really good, all things considered.” Raven looked at him. “What you did for her parents was above and beyond, Jake.”

“It was nothing,” he said offhandedly, putting his phone away. “Anyway, the car’s waiting.”

Only, when they got outside, Raven saw it wasn’t a car at all—it was a stretch limousine. She turned to him. “Jake, we’re not taking that thing to Southbridge.”

“Uh, yeah, we are. It’s all set and paid for.”

She rolled her eyes, which probably got captured perfectly on film, since about twenty or thirty paparazzi were snapping pictures of her at the moment she made the face.

“You really need to start consulting with me before doing this stuff,” she said. “This limousine totally sends the wrong message.”

“So you’re telling me it won’t be awesome when we pull up to your parents’ house in a stretch limo?” Jake said, as one of his security guards opened the door of the car for them.

“Maybe it will be a little bit awesome,” she admitted. They got into the limo together, while one security guard put their bags in the trunk, and then they were magically sealed off, and Raven suddenly had the realization that she was becoming accustomed to the media frenzy that was a near constant presence now.

It was a little strange to know that she’d adjusted to it all so quickly.

The limousine pulled away from the hotel, and after quickly consulting with Jake, the driver put the privacy glass up and now it was just Jake and Raven alone in the back of the car.

Jake was completely at ease, his arms spread out across the back seat, legs kicked forward at full stretch. He grinned at Raven. “You look like a deer in the headlights,” he said.

“I don’t feel like that,” Raven replied. She was sitting across from him, her legs crossed, trying to understand why Jake still made her more nervous than all the paparazzi and press in the world putting her under the microscope.

“Maybe it’s because you know you’re going home,” he offered.

“I guess,” she said, shrugging.

“You know, one of these days you’re going to have to tell me what the hell happened to you that made you run away.”

She felt an icy claw grab her heart as his comment. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s important for me to know your story, Raven. Your story is a big part of how you’re going to help me turn this mess around.”