What He Bargains (What He Wants, Book Nineteen) (42 page)

They looked at one another for a long time, neither speaking. Time seemed to draw out, become elastic.

“No, I don’t,” she said, finally. “And that’s your fault, Jake. Not mine.”

“You’re trying to distract me from focusing on your behavior, and your lies,” Jake said. “You’re trying to put me on the defensive so that I conveniently forget about the fact that your whole scheme just blew up in my face.”

“It’s not my fault—“

“It is your fault!” he yelled. His voice was so loud that Raven cowered from him.

He seemed to realize that he’d lost his composure. Jake grew silent, looking away from her, turning his body away as well.

“I didn’t plan any of this,” Raven said, feeling hopeless and empty. “I didn’t want to make things worse for you. I thought I could help, but I guess I didn’t think any of it through. Everything just happened so fast.”

“It sure did,” Jake said, still not looking at her.

“Maybe it’s best if I go back to Boston today,” she said, hoping against hope that he’d tell her not to leave. She was praying that maybe Jake would come up with a way to salvage the situation. Even if it meant more punishment—she’d gladly have taken whatever he wanted to give her, if only they could stay together.

“Yeah, I think you’re probably right,” Jake replied. “This doesn’t seem to be working out, does it?”

Raven wanted to take it all back, rewind the tape, explain things better. She wanted to tell him everything, but now it was too late. She’d been afraid to deal with her past, she’d kept putting things off, and so her past had come back to bite her once again.

B
ack at the
hotel a few hours later, things only got worse.

Raven was in Skylar’s hotel room. Sky’s parents were in their own suite, so it was just Raven with her now.

“I met with the doctor this morning,” Skylar said almost immediately after Raven entered. “It’s cancer.”

Raven swallowed, her eyes welling up. “What else did the doctor say?”

Skylar shrugged. “She said that based on the size of the mass, they don’t feel comfortable doing surgery. They want to schedule me for chemo and radiation as soon as possible.”

“Oh, Sky, I’m so sorry,” Raven said, and hugged her. For the moment, all thoughts of Jake and the disintegration of their relationship were pushed to the back burner.

“I’m okay. I knew this was coming.” Skylar broke away from Raven and sat down on the couch, curling her feet up next to her. She held a pillow across her chest.

“What hospital are you going to go for your treatment?” Raven asked her.

“I don’t know,” Skylar told her. She looked disturbed for the first time, her brow furrowing. “Of course I’d rather be in Boston, near my apartment. I miss my kitty. I want to be home.”

“Then we should get you home,” Raven said firmly.

“It’s not that simple. Treatment’s going to cost a lot of money, and I’m not sure what—if anything—will even be covered.”

“We’ll figure something out.” Raven crossed the room and sat down in front of the couch, on the floor, grabbing her friend’s hand. “We’re in this together, Sky. I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Skylar said, her jaw trembling a little.

“You don’t have to ask me.”

They both fell silent, smiling at one another ever so slightly, acknowledging the fact that they loved one another without having to say it.

And then came a knock at the door.

“Probably my parents,” Skylar sighed. “I told them I needed to take a nap, but they’re worried.”

“I’ll get the door,” Raven said, getting to her feet and walking quickly to the door and opening it.

She was shocked to see Jake standing there in the hallway.

Jake raised his eyebrow at her. “Can I come in?”

“Hey Jake,” Skylar said from the couch, giving a weak smile.

He brushed past Raven and walked into the room, then went and sat down on one of the chairs. “Tell me what’s up,” Jake said. “I heard you got called in to meet with the doctor.”

Skylar nodded, blinking. “Yeah. The news wasn’t good.”

Raven folded her arms, not sure what to do. She was still glad to see Jake, to feel his presence—it was still comforting. She instantly felt as though things would be okay again, just from him being in the room. But then again, she knew that everything had changed and Jake no longer wanted to make everything okay for her.

But at least he still cared about Skylar, Raven thought. That was more important than anything else right now.

“You’re going to be fine,” Jake told Skylar. When he said it, it seemed like indisputable fact. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Do you hear me? We’re going to make sure you get the very best treatment.”

“I don’t expect anything else from you,” Skylar told him.

“I’m not asking your permission to help,” Jake said, “so don’t bother trying to talk me out of this.” He glanced over at Raven.

“He’s right,” Raven said. “You’ve got to let Jake help you.”

Jake nodded, looking back at Skylar. “First things first, we need to find the very best hospital. It’s probably Sloan Kettering—“

“She wants to be home,” Raven told him.

“Boston?” Jake said.

Skylar sighed. “Boston has good hospitals, too, don’t they?”

“Sure they do,” Jake said. “Yeah, of course.” He straightened up a little. “Let me make some phone calls and figure out what’s available. Whoever we end up choosing in Boston can coordinate with your doctor at Sloan Kettering to formulate a treatment plan.”

Skylar hugged herself. “I don’t know why you’re doing all of this. You’re busy, you hardly even know me.”

Jake glanced at Raven again but looked quickly back to Skylar. “I’m doing it because I want to, that’s all you need to know. This is no big deal for me. One of the few perks of being famous is that it’s easy to pull strings and throw money at problems.” He grinned.

Skylar smiled back at him. “I don’t even know how to thank you.”

“You just did.” Jake reached out and gave her arm a gentle squeeze, and then he stood up and came towards Raven.

His brown eyes were intent and unreadable.

“Thanks,” she murmured softly.

“I need to talk to you,” he said. “In private.”

“Of course.” Her heartbeat picked up instantly. “Should we go somewhere now?”

“I’m going to go for a swim. Meet me at my room in five and I’ll be ready.”

Jake left and Raven talked a few more minutes with Skylar and then went to meet Jake at his room.

She was nervous, wondering what exactly he might want to talk to her about.

They’d already agreed that she would go back to Boston. What was left to discuss?

As she knocked on his door, she flashed on a mental image of Jake throwing open the door, grabbing her by the wrist, and dragging her into his room.

Once inside, she fantasized about Jake telling her his elaborate plans to punish her for defying him and keeping secrets. Each transgression would require him to spank her repeatedly, to rip her clothes off, tie up her wrists and ankles—

The door opened and Raven snapped out of it.

Jake was wearing shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops. He had a towel slung over his shoulder. “Do you swim?” he asked.

“I don’t have a bathing suit,” she replied.

“I can get you one.”

“No, it’s okay.” She had to avert her eyes from him, because just picturing him shirtless was making it difficult to think straight, and she needed to stay alert for whatever he wanted to say to her.

“Okay, whatever,” Jake sighed, shutting the door. He started to walk down the hallway to the elevators, hitting the button and turning to her while they waited. “Is Skylar handling the news all right?” he asked.

Raven thought about it, shrugged. “You talked to her. What do you think?”

“I don’t know her like you do,” Jake said.

Raven licked her lips and stared down at the carpet. “You told her not to worry about the fact that you’re helping her so much.”

“That’s right, it doesn’t do her any good to worry about anything outside of fighting this cancer.”

Raven looked up and met his brown-eyed gaze. “Well, now I’m asking. Why are you helping her? Lots of people get cancer, Jake, and you’re not helping all of them.”

The elevator came and the doors opened. Jake’s mouth turned up at the corner, ever so slightly. “Saved by the bell,” he said, stepping inside.

Raven followed. There were a few other people in the elevator—specifically a couple and their teenage daughter. She started freaking out that she was standing so close to JAKE NOVAK, and Jake laughed and graciously took a picture with her.

They got off and went to the pool. Luckily, there was nobody else swimming but a very old man who seemed lost in his own world and was swimming laps so slow that Raven wondered how he even managed to stay afloat.

Jake walked to one of the lounge chairs and dropped his towel on it, then proceeded to strip off his t-shirt. He tossed that on the chair as well. His upper body looked flawless, like a work of art, smooth and hard and perfectly proportioned.

Jake he kicked off his flip-flops as Raven sat down on the edge of the chair next to his. “So what did you want to talk about?” she asked him.

Jake flexed his arms, and his biceps expanded, and then his chest and abs tightened and she had to look away from him again.

It was embarrassing what he did to her, and she didn’t want him to see it so clearly. She felt exposed whenever he so much as glanced her way.

“I wanted to talk about payment,” Jake said. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Payment?”

“Since you’re going back to Boston today, I was thinking about the arrangement we discussed, and I decided that I’m going to pay you fifty and call it settled.”

“Fifty…fifty dollars?” she asked, her mouth suddenly dry.

Jake chuckled. “Fifty thousand.” And then he turned and did a perfect dive into the pool.

Raven just sat there, her mouth hanging open.

Jake swam the length of the pool without coming up for air. He surfaced down at the far end, took a breath and then went back under. When he popped up again he was right in front of her.

He lifted the upper part of his torso above the waterline and hung his arms on the side of the pool. Water dripped down his face and he used his hand to wipe it from his eyes. “Towel?” he asked, reaching out to her.

She grabbed his towel and handed it over to him. He pressed it against his face and then handed it back to her.

“Jake, I can’t accept that,” she told him.

“It’s just a damp towel,” he joked.

“I’m serious. I can’t take that money, it’s too much.” She held onto his towel, clutching it to her lap.

Jake stared at her, his brown eyes somehow warm and cold all at once. “Raven, it’s not up for discussion. I’m telling you what’s happening so you know what to expect.”

“But why? You’re angry at me, I didn’t help you, I only made things worse—“

“Because I want to do it. And anyway, the money’s already been wired to your checking account.”

Raven once again had to resist the tears that were welling up behind her eyes. She blinked rapidly and looked away, and then Jake dipped backwards into the water, and was swimming beneath the surface towards the other side of the pool.

She watched as he smoothly came up once more for air on the far end, took a breath, then dipped back under and began the next lap.

He did lap after lap, not stopping to rest or talk. Raven started to feel that she’d been dismissed.

It was over, wasn’t it?

This was the big kiss-off. He was paying her to get out of his life and not carry any hard feelings. She stood, as Jake was midway through one of his laps across the pool.

She watched him for a moment, his perfect body mostly obscured under the blue water, gliding almost effortlessly, glimmering there beneath the surface, so close yet so distant all at once.

It was like she’d been living in a dream world, and now she was waking up. The shimmering glow of this new world faded and everything became just normal once again—her old world had returned with a vengeance. She was just a regular girl, going back to Boston, looking for work, trying to find a place to live.

The wild, restless soul that had pulled her out of her shell and shown her places within and without that she’d never imagined—that restless soul was moving on. He would never be tamed, never settle for someone ordinary like Raven.

She was on her own again, and she was going back to her old life.

Maybe that would be a relief in a way.

Raven turned and walked away from the pool, wondering if Jake would even notice she had gone.

S
he took almost
nothing with her, in the end—just the clothes on her back, choosing to leave behind the suitcase full of couture that Kurt had brought to her room, along with his sneer and his manipulations.

Besides, Raven didn’t want any clothing that would remind her of this time spent with Jake—it would be too sad.

Before leaving, she stopped by Skylar’s room and said goodbye. Skylar was planning on returning to Boston late the next day with her parents. She had another doctor’s appointment to go to, but she seemed in great spirits.

It seemed as though Jake had continued to be in contact with Skylar and the staff at Sloan Kettering, which made Raven both relieved and desperately sad all at once.

Skylar seemed to sense that there was something going on between Jake and Raven, but didn’t ask any questions. That was a relief, because if Raven had had to talk about any of it, she’d have broken down sobbing. And that wouldn’t have been at all fair to do with her friend who’d just received a cancer diagnosis.

Skylar promised she would make Raven aware of any important updates, and then they hugged and said they’d see one another back in Boston.

A few minutes later, Raven was walking through the hotel lobby, about to catch a cab to take her to Port Authority, and from there, a bus back to Boston.