What Survives of Us (Colorado Chapters Book 1) (25 page)

             
“I see Martin found them,” Naomi said.  “Are they okay?”

             
The woman reached out and brushed a lock of hair out of the girl’s face.  “No.  They’re not.”

             
Naomi swallowed.  “I wish I could have helped them.”

             
“No one could have.  Their bodies will recover – other than being hungry and dehydrated, they’re both fine.  But her mind is broken.  I don’t know about the boy yet.”

             
Naomi looked at the woman more closely.  “You can
see
that?  Like Rowan?”

             
“Not exactly like Rowan, no.  She sees medical conditions.  I see…a path.  I can see the way a person is likely to go forward.  I’m not always right, but most of the time.”  She smoothed the girl’s hair again, tucking a greasy strand behind a grimy ear with great tenderness.  “This one will always be like a child, I’m afraid.  She’s gone back in her mind to a time that was safe, and I don’t think she’ll leave it.  Her brother, well, as I said I just don’t know.  He loves animals, and what they were doing to survive broke his heart.  We’ll just have to see how he mends.”

             
She looked across the room then, at Macy.  “Your daughter is beautiful.  Such lovely hair.”

             
“Thank you.”  The woman’s eyes returned to Naomi, and in them, she saw knowledge and empathy.  Naomi held up her hand, warding off her words.  “No,” she said softly.  “Some paths can be changed.”

             
“Yes.  They can.”  But the woman looked down, and Naomi could
hear
the certainty and sorrow in her voice.  “Go with God on your journey.  We’ll be here, when you need us.”

             
Naomi found Jack, Layla and Martin in the church parking lot, standing next to the little pick-up Naomi had driven from Cascade and a dusty black late-model SUV.  Jack gestured to the newer vehicle as Naomi walked up.

             
“If it’s okay, we moved your gear to the SUV.  It’s full of gas, and it’s…well…cleaner.”

             
In other words, someone hadn’t died in it.  Naomi nodded.  “I appreciate it very much.  I’ll return it as soon as I’m able.”

“No need.”  Martin spoke this time.  “It was my wife’s.  She doesn’t need it anymore.”

              Naomi bent her head.  “I’m sorry for your loss.”  She could
feel
Martin’s discomfort with her sympathy, and pressed on.  “Thank you for getting the kids in Cascade.  It’s a relief to my mind.”

             
“It was no trouble.”  He kept his eyes on his scuffing feet, his voice gruff.  “I just hope someone is helping my kids, if they need it.”

             
Naomi nodded at Jack and Layla then, keeping her expression polite and remote.  “I am very grateful for your help.”

             
Layla stepped forward.  “I know you said your cabin was stocked with supplies, but if you need anything, please don’t hesitate.  We’re here.”  She reached for Naomi’s hand and tucked a small bag into it.  “And it would mean a lot to me if you would take this.”

             
“What is it?”

             
“A protective charm.”  Layla seemed uncomfortable for a moment, her eyes darting to Jack.  Then she lifted her chin.  “You can think of it as a prayer made physical, for you and Macy.  It holds some elements that I hope will bring healing and peace to you both.  Yarrow.  Angelica.  A piece of chrysoprase
.
”

             
Naomi closed her hand around the small blue velvet bag, and to her surprise, felt a warmth that was distinctly “Layla.”  She nodded her gratitude.  “I don’t know anything about charms, but I appreciate the thought behind it.”

             
Silence, then, filled with things no one wanted said.

Naomi left them standing there and hurried back to Macy.  She’d been so glad to find other people, and now she didn’t know how much longer she could stand the pressure of their unspoken words.  Rowan, too, was silent as Naomi gathered her daughter in her arms, trailing behind her as she carried her out of the church basement and into the late-afternoon sunshine. 

Martin opened the back door of the SUV, and both dogs leaped in obediently.  Naomi settled Macy in the front passenger seat, fastened the seat belt around her, then turned for a final goodbye.

Verity stood in the center of the group now, the sun on her head and shoulders somehow brighter than on the others.  She smiled at Naomi, her face infused at once with wisdom, mischief and sorrow.  “Don’t wander too long in the ghostlands, Naomi.  You’re needed elsewhere.”

Oh, how she wanted to get in the SUV and drive, to pretend she hadn’t heard.  But her feet were rooted to the spot, and a reply forced its way through her stiff lips.  “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Nostalgia can comfort, but the past belongs to the dead.  Visions of the future can urge us on, but it’s a place with no substance.  Your power is needed in the here and now.”

“My power.”  Naomi shook her head.  “I suppose you’re going to tell me God has a plan for me, too?  Well how about this?  What if God
does
have a plan, and it’s to wash his hands of us?  You know, like a loving parent would do with a grown kid who just can’t stop screwing up – you’ve got to stop enabling them, right?  What if this intuitive evolution or whatever is a parting gift?  What if it’s God’s way of saying, ‘You’re on your own.  Good luck.  I’m out of here.’”

Jack looked pained, but Verity’s smile was transcendent.  “What an amazing idea!”  She cocked her head to the side for a moment as if listening, then grinned.  “Raphael says he thinks you’re on to something.”

Naomi stared.  What could she possibly say to that?  She shook her head, and was still shaking it as she got behind the wheel of the SUV, started the engine, and drove out of the parking lot without looking again at any of them.

Beside her, Macy stared out the side window in what appeared to be a half-doze.  Naomi didn’t know if she had heard Verity’s words, and she had no intention of asking.  She reached out and tucked the soft blanket Rowan had given them more
closely under her chin.  “How’re you doing, baby?  Are you warm enough?”

Macy’s head rolled towards her, and she blinked a few times.  Her little forehead wrinkled in confusion.  “Mama?  Where are we?”

Naomi’s palms went greasy on the steering wheel.  “We’re headed to the cabin, remember?  To meet Piper?”

“Oh.”  She thought about it for a few seconds.  “I remember now.”  Her eyes drifted shut, and her head rolled back towards the window.  “So sleepy.”

Naomi stopped the SUV in the middle of the road – no traffic to worry about – and reached across Macy to recline her seat.  Macy murmured, but didn’t open her eyes.  Naomi stared at her for a minute, then two, and finally forced herself to put the vehicle in motion again.

They cruised along without incident, Naomi analyzing their surroundings constantly for trouble to be avoided.  Martin had assured her that their route should be safe, but nothing was certain.  When they passed the water treatment facility and turned to wind up Rampart Range Road, she felt some of her terrible tension begin to uncoil.

The road twisted through dark pines and past huge, rounded boulders.  After making sure the blanket was still warmly tucked around Macy, Naomi cracked her window and lifted her nose to the soft spring breeze.  She loved the smell of the air up here.  She had been coming to this cabin over half her life, since she and Scott started dating, and she never failed to appreciate the beauty and peace of this place.  Even now, even under these circumstances, she could feel the muscles in her neck and shoulders loosen, feel her stomach relax.

The road lifted them into high mountain meadows, interspersed with thick stands of pine and aspen.  Though it
seemed remote, this was actually a well-traveled area.  To the southeast, Rampart Reservoir was a popular camping and recreational area.  Not many people, though, were even aware of the string of eight man-made lakes so close by.  The people who lived and played on Carrol Lakes preferred it that way.

Scott used to call this place his “true north.”  He had inherited the cabin from his father, who had inherited it from his father, who had built it in the 1920’s.  Scott had proposed to her here, on a paddle boat in the middle of the lake.  Would he be here?  Would Macy be able to
see
him once again, instead of just feeling his presence? 

Naomi reached over to fuss with the blanket and Macy startled, sucking in a sudden breath of air, but not waking.  She seemed to hold the breath for a long, long time, releasing it slowly, and Naomi frowned.  She switched her gaze back and forth between the road and Macy, until she finally sucked in another deep breath, only to release it in slow increments again.

Naomi resisted the urge to step on the accelerator; these dirt roads were tricky under the best of circumstances, and she was in an unfamiliar vehicle.  All she wanted to do was tuck Macy safely into the soft little trundle she always slept on when they stayed here, to surround her with the familiar and the comfortable, to begin the process of nursing her back to health.

It hardly seemed real when they finally pulled in at the cabin, the evening orange, pink and still warm with the lo
wering sun.  Naomi put the SUV in park, then sat there with it running for a moment, making sure all looked and
felt
as it should, running her eyes along the familiar, whimsical lines of the little cabin.  Home. 
Home
at last, after the longest of journeys.

She shut off the ignition and popped the back door open for the dogs.  They bounded out, both of them energized with the joy she was feeling.
  Then she went around the SUV to get Macy.  She unbuckled the seatbelt from around her daughter, then shook her shoulder gently. 

“Macy, honey, we’re here!  We’re home!”

Macy’s eyes fluttered.  She stared at Naomi, confused again, then a little smile lifted her lips.  “I was having the nicest dream.”  Her words slurred together, and a stab of alarm cut through Naomi’s euphoria.  “There were horses…”

Her voice trailed off, and Naomi bent to lift her with arms that were suddenly shaking.  “You can tell me all about it while I get a fire started.  You’re so cold, honey, why didn’t you say something?”

She hurried toward the cabin, Macy light as dust in her arms.  They were almost to the porch when Macy’s body twitched.  She drew in another deep breath, but this one rattled.  Her head lolled back, and her eyes met Naomi’s, wide with terror.  “Mama!  Mama, I’m scared!”

“Shh, baby, shh.  I’ve got you.”  She sank to her knees, curling around her daughter, trying to use her own body to shelter, to warm, to protect, to bind.  “We’re almost home.  We’re almost there, my baby.”

The fear seeped out of Macy’s eyes.  She blinked, once.  Twice.  Then her face lit with a smile of such beauty, Naomi would see it every time she closed her eyes for the rest of her life.  Macy exhaled, gazing over Naomi’s shoulder, and on that exhale, greeted her father.

“Daddy.”

She didn’t inhale again.  Naomi stared at her daughter’s still face and shook her, gently at first, then with more force.  “Macy!  Macy, answer me, God damn it!  Macy!”

But Macy was no longer inhabiting those glazed eyes.  Something tore free in Naomi’s chest and lifted out of her body, taking with it light, life, meaning, joy.  She clutched Macy to her
and huddled around the emptiness, the husk that had been her baby girl.  Distantly, she heard the dogs howling, Hades’ deep and broken voice sliced by Persephone’s higher-pitched wails.  A scream was jammed in her own chest, but she couldn’t draw enough air to release it.  Then, she heard Scott.

“Honey, for pity’s sake, be careful!  Let me help you up – are you okay?  Is the baby okay?”

Naomi lifted her head, and there he was.  His hands were full of balloons, flowers and gift bags, and he was scowling at her.  The sun bouncing off the snow and ice surrounding him was so bright, it nearly blinded her.

She looked down, resettling Macy in her arms, making sure her tiny face was covered and protected from the biting cold.  Icy moisture seeped through the knees of the maternity jeans she wore.  It irked her to be back in them, but she had to admit they were warmer than the cheerful sundress she had packed.  That’s what she got for packing her hospital bag on an optimistically warm spring day.  A late-season blizzard had surprised even the weather forecasters, so instead of the adorable, Easter-egg-plaid going-home outfit she’d bought for Macy, the baby was layered in long-sleeved hospital onesies and jury-rigged receiving blankets.  Behind her, she heard the front door burst open.

“You’re home!”  Piper slipped and skidded down the front steps.  She helped Naomi to her feet with uncharacteristic gentleness, then reached out to touch the blanket covering her new baby sister.  Her face glowed with delight.  “Can I hold her when we get inside?  Oh, and we don’t have any power.  I started a fire in the wood-burner.”

“Fantastic.”  Scott joined them and took Naomi’s elbow firmly.  They shuffled along, Naomi feeling both awkward and nimble, still trying to adapt to the abrupt gravity-shift that went
with giving birth.  Piper bounded up the steps ahead of them and slipped in the door.