What The Heart Finds (20 page)

“Alright,” he
sighed, going back to his recipe. “back to work,” he
said, not looking at her.

They finished late,
working side by side in complete silence which got more strained and
uncomfortable by the moment. A world of words left unsaid between
them. Lena carefully placed the baked goods on two plates, pouring
cups of coffee while Eric put a slow, soft indie record on and went
to sit on the couch, tapping the empty space next to him.

She brought the coffee
over, feeling tense as she made the trip back with the desserts. It
felt too intimate. Too close.

“You're telling me
this,” he said, pointing to the chocolate cake. “is
filled with liquid chocolate?”

Lena reached for her
apple turnover, pulling a corner off and putting it in her mouth.
“Right,” she said, chewing.

Eric turned to the cake,
sinking a spoon into it, watching the insides melt out before taking
a piece and trying it. He closed his eyes, groaning. “God,
woman, where have you been all my life?”

“Good?” she
asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

“No,” he
said, shaking his head and watching her face fall into a frown. “It's
amazing. Where did you learn to bake like this?”

Lena shrugged a shoulder.
“I taught myself. I used to come across these recipes in my
mom's magazines and I would try them.”

“You should have
gone to culinary school,” he said, reaching for the apple
praline bread.

“I wanted to,”
she admitted with a shrug.

“Then why didn't
you?”

Lena shook her head. “It
wasn't a smart choice,” she said, her voice regretful. “there
isn't usually stability in that kind of career. So I chose something
more practical to get me out of... the life I grew up in,” she
said carefully.

Eric watched her, the
hair falling out of her ponytail and hiding some of her face. “Do
you regret it?”

Lena turned slightly
toward him. “Sometimes.”

“Like when?”

“Like every time I
bake,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And every time I have
a really bad day at work.”

“So, knowing
Elliott,” Eric said. “pretty much every day.”

“No,” she
said too eagerly. Defensively. “No,” she added more
carefully. “I really don't hate my job. It's rewarding to
accomplish that much every day. To see how much I can push past the
perceived limits. And Elliott isn't that bad to work for. He only
demands as much of us as he demands of himself. He's actually
softened a lot since...”

“Since he met
Hannah,” Eric filled in, his face looking confused. “I
don't see how that could be. She was always a bit of a pain in the
ass growing up. Bossy and haughty.”

Lena laughed. “She
still is, but she's also a good person. She gave me a lot of tips
when I started since I was taking over her old job.”

“Why did she give
it up?”

Lena smiled. “She
said if she had to fetch his coffee anymore without getting a 'thank
you' she was going to kill him.”

“So what is it that
makes you get up and go to work every morning if you don't love it?
Is it just the money?”

“Yeah,” Lena
said, feeling suddenly materialistic. “I dunno. I promised
myself that I would make a better life than the one I came from. So I
guess that's more what gets me out of bed. The stability. Essentially
the money in some ways I guess.”

“Did you ever
consider that maybe a better life could be had by doing something you
really enjoy? Maybe you won't be rich. Maybe you'd only ever made a
modest living. But you'd be happy.”

Lena looked at him for a
second, her eyes almost hopeful before she shook her head. “Well...”
she said, sounding sad. “it's too late for that now. This is
the path I chose.” The silence fell again, strained. “So
do you actually love cars or do you just do it because it's what you
know?”

Eric sipped his coffee,
looking off into the kitchen. “I guess it's for a lot of
reasons. My father taught it to me, his father to him, and so on and
so forth.”

“You wanted to
carry on the tradition?”

“In part, yeah. And
when our father died, I needed to be able to take care of Liam. This
was the only thing I was trained to do. And... I mean... it also
serves the town. A place like this with no mechanic would be awful.
Everyone would have to tow out. Not to mention... there would be no
gas station.” He put his arm across the back of the couch, his
palms brushing against her shoulders. “Plus... I like the
freedom of making my own hours.”

“There cant be a
lot of money in it though,” she mused.

“No. Actually
probably even less than you would think. When someone cant pay, I get
paid in trade.”

Even less than she
thought? And yet he had spent god-knows how much money on their
dinner the night before. “What? Like you fix a tractor, you get
corn?” she laughed.

“Yeah actually,”
Eric smiled. “but it's usually a big supply of various crops.
Or free dinner at the diner for a few weeks. Or even drinks at the
bar.” He took a bite of the apple turnover. “You don't
need a lot of cash in a town like this. Everyone relies on each
other. And... I own this building outright.”

“You're lucky,”
she murmured.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing,”
Lena said, getting up and moving to the kitchen. She carefully laid
napkins on a plate and started to pile the chocolate chip cookies for
Liam on top.

Eric watched her from the
couch, eating the rest of his chocolate java cake. She had said he
was lucky. She didn't want to admit it, but she had. He couldn't
imagine being stuck in a job you weren't fully happy with. Being so
completely devoted to a path that you knew you weren't meant to.
Spending weekends pursuing the only thing you actually enjoyed. How
bad had her childhood been to warrant such a mindset?

“So you're going to
take these over to Liam's right? Before he goes to sleep?”

Eric looked at his cell
for a second. “Which should be in about... half an hour.”

“Seriously?”
Lena asked, scrunching up her nose. “So not only does he dress
like a grandpa, he has the bedtime of one too?”

Eric smiled, walking up
and sitting down on the stool, watching her methodically pile the
cookies, all of them puffy and light. Soft looking. “Come on.
Can I just try one?”

“If there are any
left over after I'm done piling them up,” she said in a
nonchalant voice.

“He's really going
to appreciate this, baby.”

“It's no big deal,”
she said, shrugging one shoulder. She reached for the plastic wrap
she had found stuck behind three cans of coffee in the cupboard.

“It will be to him.
Stop playing yourself down, sweetheart,” Eric said, moving
behind the counter to take the plate from her.

Lena smiled up at him,
reaching behind her back for a second and then bringing a cookie to
his mouth. Eric bit into it, watching her as he did.

“Oh, baby,”
he said, closing his eyes. “You should sell these.”

Lena pushed the rest of
the cookie in his mouth and moved a foot away. She was too close. He
was too close. It was all just... too close. She felt flushed and
unsure of herself. All the talk about her passions and work was just
too intimate. She had the overwhelming urge to walk into his arms
and...

Well, that wasn't going
to happen.

“Go and bring them
to him before he passes out. I'm gonna clean all this and head to bed
myself.”

“Alright,” he
said, moving a step closer, leaning down and planting a quick kiss on
her lips. “Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight,”
she said, knowing it was going to be incredibly hard to fall asleep
with him just one room away.

Seventeen

She cleaned the kitchen
quickly, changing back into Eric's over sized t-shirt, and slipping
into bed. She tried watching a show, then another, but ultimately
gave up and turned off the television.

He came in about half an
hour later. She heard the lock slide into place, surprised he even
bothered to lock up in such a small town. He kicked off his shoes and
she heard him walk down the hall, past her room and into the bathroom
where he quickly brushed his teeth, leaving the water running the
whole time.

He turned off the light,
making the hall dark and she heard his feet as he walked.

She felt the urge to call
to him, strong and insistent. Undeniable. She pushed the pillow away
from her chest, whispering quietly, too quietly to be heard, “Eric.”

But a second later, the
door pushed open, Eric's hand holding onto the edge as if trying to
hold himself in place.

“Yeah baby?”

Lena took a deep breath,
pushing herself into a seated position. She needed to tell him to go
away. That she hadn't called him. Tell him goodnight.

But she found herself
saying, “Come here.”

Eric hung his head for a
split second before walking in and standing next to the bed. Lena
looked up at him, the light on the other side of the bed casting him
half in shadow. She scooted a bit toward the center of the bed, and
put her hand down on the mattress next to her.

He sat down slowly,
barely disturbing the sheets. He stretched out beside her, half
propped up on the headboard. He reached out, snaking an arm around
her back and pulling her against him, pressing her against his chest.

She laid her head down
carefully, hearing his heartbeat underneath her ear. His arms went
around her, his fingers stroking up and down her spine. Just as she
was starting to drift off to sleep, lulled by his closeness, he
pulled her tighter and pushed her onto her back.

He tilted his head, his
lips landing just below her ear and moving downward. Lena turned her
head to the side, sighing as his tongue slipped into the hollow of
her throat. One of her thighs moved across his body, pulling him
closer. She reached up behind his head, grabbing his hair and pulling
his face up to hers.

His mouth was gentle on
hers, his body next to hers rigid as though he was struggling to
remain in control. She bit at his lower lip, forcing his mouth open
and slipping her tongue inside to play with his. His hands moved down
her back, grabbing her ass and pulling her leg over him.

As soon as her knee hit
the other side of his body, she sat up, looking down at him. His
hands stroked the sides of her hips, just a whisper against her skin.
They moved upward, grabbing the hem of her shirt and slowly pulling
upward, exposing her skin inch by inch. He leaned upward, pulling the
material over her head and kissing her quickly before laying back
down.

He looked at her for a
long time, Lena suddenly feeling the urge to bring her hands up and
cover her breasts. She looked down at him, completely clothed still
while she was completely naked.

“You're beautiful,”
he said, his voice husky.

Lena looked down for a
minute, the compliment sending a swirl of butterflies soaring around
her belly. “Okay,” she said, grabbing his shirt. “time
to even things up.”

“Cant wait to see
me naked, huh?” he said, sitting up, smiling. “I don't
blame you. It's quite a sight.”

Lena laughed, reaching
down and pulling his shirt off in one quick motion. Her hands went to
his skin, warm to the touch, hard muscles underneath the surface. She
scooted slightly up on his hips, feeling his cock press at her
through his pants and rubbing slightly against it.

“Nuh-uh,” he
said, smiling. He grabbed her hips, quickly throwing her back on the
bed and coming down on top of her. Lena sighed as his lips went to
her neck again, arching up closer to him.

He ran a leisurely path
down her chest, between her breasts, over her belly, stopping at her
pelvis and running his tongue back up the same path. His hand went to
her breast, running his palm over the surface once before working
small circles around the hardened point. His mouth went to the other
nipple, licking it once and taking it inside and sucking hard.

Lena's arm slapped down
on his back, arching into his mouth, feeling the pressure building
deep inside.

Then his mouth was moving
down the center of her body again, his fingertips stroking down her
ribs, then moving down to her thighs, teasing them with the slightest
pressure before grabbing her knees and pulling them apart. One of his
hands moved upward, looking for her hand and taking it in his. His
other arm moved under her knee, wrapping around and holding it
against the mattress.

Lena tensed when he
didn't move. Just sat there, looking at the source of her heat for a
disarmingly long moment. “Eric...” she said, her voice
sounding confused.

“Mmm,” he
murmured, his breath heating her core, making her squirm. “Just
let me look at your for a minute, baby,” he said quietly.

Lena pushed her head back
on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling, her heart pounding in her
chest. Look at her why? There didn't seem to be... too much to look
at.