What to Expect the First Year (22 page)

“When I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to get back into my regular clothes. But I didn't realize how much breastfeeding my daughter would limit what I can wear.”

Dressing for breastfeeding success probably isn't as tricky as dressing when you're expecting (at least once you've settled back into jeans you can actually zip up), but it still presents some unique challenges—say, how to feed your baby in public without stripping from the waist up, or how to keep a last-minute leak under wraps when you're about to walk into a job interview.

Sure, you'll have to make some fashion concessions in the name of easy breast access and other practical considerations, but with a few adjustments, you'll be able to satisfy your baby's appetite for milk and your appetite for style with the very same outfits.

The right bra.
Not surprisingly, the most important item in your breastfeeding wardrobe is the one very few will ever see: a good nursing bra, or more likely, several. Ideally, you should purchase at least one nursing bra before your baby is born so that you'll be able to use it right away in the hospital. But some moms find breast size expands so much once their milk comes in that stocking up ahead isn't cost effective (though some clever designs are expandable).

There are many different styles of nursing bras available—with or without underwire, no-nonsense and no-frills or lacy, with cups that unsnap, unzip, or unhook on the shoulders or in the center of the bra, or those that just pull to the side—as well as bras designed for hands-free pumping. Try on a variety, making your decision with comfort and convenience as top priorities—and keeping in mind that you'll be unhooking the bra with one hand while holding a crying, hungry baby in the other. Whichever style you choose, make sure the bra is made of strong, breathable cotton and that it has room to grow as your breasts do (for the clearest indication, try on bras when your breasts are full, not recently drained). A too-tight bra can cause clogged ducts, not to mention discomfort when breasts are engorged and nipples are sore. Another option: Turn any bra that fits well into a nursing bra (you can find how-to's online or have alterations done for you).

Two-piece outfits.
Two-piece is the fashion statement to make when you're breastfeeding—especially when you can pull up the top of the outfit for nursing access. Shirts or dresses that button or zip down the front can also work (though you may be exposing more than you'd like in public if you need to unzip from the top for baby to reach his target, so unfastening from the bottom is usually a better bet). You might also want to look for nursing dresses and tops that are designed with hidden flaps to facilitate discreet nursing and easy access for pumping. Such nursing wear is also designed to fit a nursing mom's larger bust size, a big plus.

Stay away from solids if you're a leaker.
Solid colors, whites, and anything sheer will spill your milky secrets more obviously than dark patterns, which will not only provide better cover for your leaks but also the lumpiness of your breast pads.

Wear washables.
Between leaking milk and baby spit-up, your local dry cleaner will be as happy as you are that there's a new baby in your house—unless you wear clothes you can toss in the washer and dryer. And after a few incidents involving your good silk blouses, chances are that washables will be all you'll be wearing.

Pad your bra.
A breastfeeding mom's most important accessory is the nursing pad. No matter what else you're wearing, always tuck one or two inside your bra.

“I'm planning to breastfeed my baby for at least 6 months, and I know I can't stay in my house all the time. But I'm not so sure about nursing in public.”

Breasts are celebrated on screen, magazine covers, billboards, and beaches—but, ironically, they can still be a tough sell when they're being used to feed a baby in public. While public nursing is becoming more accepted—and increasingly protected by law, too—it still seems to attract a lot more attention than bottle-feeding. And unfortunately (and unfairly), not always the “awww, so sweet” kind of attention.

Chances are you'll quickly hang up any hang-ups you might have about feeding your baby in public—especially once you realize that hungry babies wait for no mom, at least not happily. Plus, with a little practice (and you'll probably have a lot of practice pretty fast), you'll learn how to breastfeed so discreetly in a crowd that only you and your little diner will know she's having lunch. In the meantime, here are some tips to make public breastfeeding more private:

• Dress the part. With the right outfit (see previous question), you can breastfeed your baby without exposing even an inch of skin. Unbutton your blouse from the bottom, or lift your shirt up slightly. Your baby's head will cover any part of your breast that may be exposed.

• Try this at home first. Practice in front of a mirror, and you'll see how a little strategic positioning can provide a lot of coverage. Or enlist your spouse (or a friend) to watch you as you feed the baby the first few times in public to alert you to any wardrobe malfunctions.

• Drape a blanket, shawl, or nursing cover (aka Hooter Hider) over your shoulder (see
illustration
) to tent your baby. To make sure she has room for easy feeding and also easy breathing (and doesn't get overheated), be sure her tent is well ventilated. When you and baby are eating out together, a large napkin can provide cover.

Breastfeeding in public

• Wear your baby to lunch. Or to the movies. Or the mall. Or for a stroll through the park. A sling makes breastfeeding in public extremely discreet (people will think she's just snoozing in her sling)—and incredibly convenient.

• Create your own privacy zone. Find a bench under a tree, pick a corner with a roomy chair in a bookstore, or sit in a booth in a restaurant. Turn away from people while your baby is latching on, and turn back once your baby is well positioned at your breast.

• Look for special accommodations. Many large stores, shopping malls, airports, and even amusement parks have rooms set aside for nursing mothers, complete with comfortable chairs and changing tables. Or, seek out a bathroom with a separate lounge area for your baby's dining pleasure. If none of these are options where you'll be going, and you prefer to nurse without a crowd, feed baby in your parked car before heading out to your destination, temperature permitting.

• Feed before the frenzy. Don't wait until your baby becomes frantic with hunger to start nursing her. A screaming, flailing baby only attracts the attention you probably aren't looking for when you're nursing in public. Instead, watch for your baby's hunger cues, and whenever possible, preempt crying with a meal.

• Know your rights—and feel good about exercising them. Legislation in most states gives women the right to breastfeed in public, stating that exposing a breast to nurse is not indecent and is not a criminal offense. In 1999, a federal law was enacted to ensure a woman's right to nurse anywhere on federal property. Even if you're in a state that doesn't have such legislation yet, you still have every right to feed your baby when she is hungry—breastfeeding is not illegal anywhere (except in a moving car, where even a hungry baby must be secured in a child safety seat). For more information about the laws that protect you if you'll be breastfeeding at work,
click here
.

• Do what comes naturally. If feeding your baby in public feels right, go ahead and do it. If it doesn't, even after some practice, opt for privacy whenever you can.

“I've been nursing my toddler throughout my entire pregnancy and am not ready to wean him yet. Can I continue to nurse him once my baby girl is born and I start nursing her? Will I have enough milk for both?”

Tandem nursing, as it's known in breastfeeding speak, is a way for a mom who has breastfed throughout her pregnancy to continue meeting the needs of her older nursing child while also meeting the demands of a newborn breastfeeder. It's not always easy for mama—especially during the early weeks when challenges abound (such as figuring out how to juggle two hungry babies with their own nursing needs and styles)—but once you get the hang of it (with a lot of dedication on your end and support and encouragement from those around you), it can be—and usually is—extremely enjoyable and fulfilling for the threesome (mom, newborn, and tot). An added bonus: Most moms who tandem nurse find it brings the new siblings closer together, allowing the older child to feel more connected to the new baby without feeling pushed aside by mom.

But what about the practical stuff? First, there's no need to stress about whether or not you'll have enough milk to go around. Research shows that nursing moms can produce enough milk to nurse more than one child at a time (just ask nursing moms of twins!), and when it comes to tandem nursing, many moms find their problem is one of overabundance of milk, not diminished supply. In fact, your breasts will do a wonderful job of adapting to the needs of both your newborn and your tot (who, don't forget, will be nursing a lot less frequently than your newborn). Do be sure, however, to feed your newborn first—especially during the early postpartum days when your body is producing colostrum. After all, your newborn needs all those antibodies and white blood cells found in colostrum to help stimulate the production of antibodies in her own immune system. Once your milk is back up and running (and bountiful), your baby doesn't always have to get first dibs. You might even find it easiest to nurse your two at the same time—though you'll have to experiment with a few different positions until you find one that works for both your baby and your older child (a double cradle, for instance, where your newborn's legs rest on your toddler, or a double football hold with your newborn propped on a pillow and your tot sitting next to you with knees pointing away). Always latch baby on first, then toddler second (or let your older child arrange himself comfortably in his favorite nursing position)—and try to give baby your fuller breast (keeping in mind that your little one depends on your milk for all her nutrition, while your older child is getting most of his nutrition from solid food and other drinks). And remember to hang in there. Tandem nursing can be tough (and doubly draining) for sure, but you'll find your reward when you have two pairs of eyes gazing up at you in pure bliss as you nurse your bundles of joy together. Of course, if double-mommy duty is taking its toll on you and weaning your older baby feels like the only option, don't feel guilty about it (
click here
for tips on weaning).

“I've suddenly discovered a lump in my breast. It's tender and a little red—and I'm a little worried.”

As any woman who's ever discovered one knows, it's impossible to feel a lump in your breast without feeling one in your throat. And even if you know it's probably nothing to worry about, that probably won't keep you from worrying anyway. Happily, the lump you describe is likely just a milk duct that has become clogged, causing milk to back up. The clogged area usually appears as a lump that is red and tender. Although a clogged duct itself isn't serious, it can lead to a breast infection, so it shouldn't be ignored. The best treatment is to keep milk flowing:

• Warm it up. Put warm compresses or a warm pack on the clogged duct before each feeding. Gently massage the duct before and during the feeding.