What to Expect the First Year (43 page)
Read What to Expect the First Year Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
“Why does my baby have a blister on his upper lip? Is he sucking too hard?”
For a baby with a hearty appetite, there's no such thing as sucking too hardâthough you of tender nipples may disagree. Nursing blisters, which develop on the center of the upper lips of many newborns, both breast-and bottle-fed, do come from vigorous suckingâbut they're nothing to worry about. They have no medical significance, cause no discomfort to your baby, and will disappear without treatment within a few weeks to months. Sometimes, they even seem to disappear between feedings.
“I seem to be breastfeeding my new daughter all the time. Should I think about getting her on a schedule?”
One day, your little one will be ready to eat by the clock. But for now, the only schedule that matters is the one her tummy sets for herâand it goes like this: “I'm empty, you fill me. I'm empty again, you fill me again.” It's a schedule that's built on demandânot on timed intervalsâand it's the very best way for a breastfed baby to feed. While bottle-fed newborns can do well on a 3- or 4-hour schedule (in other words, because formula is so filling, they will usually demand another feeding only when 3 to 4 hours have passed), breastfed infants need to eat more often. That's because breast milk is digested more quickly than formula, making a baby feel hungry again sooner. On-demand breastfeeding also ensures that mom's milk supply keeps pace with baby's growing appetite, which fuels baby's growing bodyâand nurtures a successful breastfeeding relationship.
So breastfeed as often as your little eating machine demands during these early weeks. Just keep three things in mind as you do. One, new babies tend to nod off before they're finished filling their tanks. Making a concerted effort to keep your baby awake at the breast until she's had a full meal will keep her from waking up hungry an hour later. Two, babies cry for reasons other than feelings of hunger. Getting to know her cries (
click here
) will help you figure out whether she's really in the market for a meal, or for a cuddle, some rocking, or a napâand that will cut down on feeds she doesn't need. And three, once in a while, a baby's frequent feedingâespecially if she never seems satisfied, isn't gaining weight, or shows other signs that she's not thrivingâcan mean she's not getting enough to eat (
click here
). If you're concerned that's the case with your baby, check in with the doctor.
Once your milk supply is well established, usually at about 3 weeks, you can start stretching the time between feedings. When your little one wakes crying an hour after feeding, don't rush to feed her. If she still seems sleepy, try to get her back to sleep without nursing her. If she seems alert, try some socializing. Or a little massage. Or a change of position or point of view. If she's fussy, try wearing her, rocking her, walking with her, or offering her the pacifier. If it's clear she's really hungry, go ahead and feed herâagain, just make sure she takes a full meal instead of a nip-and-nap snack bar approach.
In time, those round-the-clock feeds will become a thing of the sleep-deprived pastâand feedings will start coming at more reasonable intervalsâ2 to 3 hours, and eventually, 4 or so. Still on-demand for her, but far less demanding for you.
Got your handsâand both armsâfull with twins? While you probably had many months to prepare for your new life with a double blessing, the reality of life with two babies can hit like a ton of bricksâand a ton of dirty diapers. That is, unless you know how to contain the chaosâand how to handle (and enjoy) this doubly challenging time:
Double up.
Do as much as possible for your babies in tandem. That means waking them at the same time so they can be fed together, wearing them in a sling together, walking them in the stroller together. Double burp them together across your lap, or with one on your lap and the other on your shoulder. When you can't double up, alternate. At an early age, daily baths aren't necessary, so bathe babies on alternate nights. Or bathe them every second or third night and sponge in between. Putting them foot to foot or swaddled side by side in the same crib during the early weeks may help them sleep better. But check with the pediatrician, since some experts warn that prolonged tandem sleeping can increase the SIDS risk once the twins are able to roll over.
Split up.
The work, that is. When both parents are around, divide the household chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping) and the babies (you take over one baby, your spouse the other). Be sure that you alternate babies so that both get to bond with both parents. And of course, accept all the help you can get, from any willing source.
Try the double-breasted approach.
Nursing twins can be physically challenging but eliminates fussing with dozens of bottles and endless ounces of formulaâplus, it'll leave more room in your doubly stretched budget (formula feeding two babies can cost a couple of small fortunes). Since trying to breastfeed only one baby at a time can turn into a 24/7 nursing marathon, try feeding them simultaneously (it's a good thing breasts come in pairs!). You can prop your twosome on a twins feeding pillow in the football position with their feet behind you (
click here
), or with their bodies crossed in front of you. Alternate the breast each baby gets at every feeding to avoid creating favorites and mismatched breasts should one baby turn out to be a greedier suckler than the other, or to avoid one baby getting less to eat if one breast turns out to be a less productive provider. If you find it too difficult to breastfeed your twins exclusively, you can nurse one while you bottle-feed the otherâagain alternating from feeding to feeding.
Plan to have some extra hands on hand, if you're bottle-feeding.
Bottle-feeding twins requires either an extra set of hands or great ingenuity. If you find yourself with two babies and just two hands at feeding time, you can sit on a sofa between the babies (prop them up on pillows or a twins feeding pillow) with their feet toward the back and hold a bottle for each. Or hold them both in your arms with the bottles in bottle-proppers raised to a comfortable height by pillows. You can also occasionally prop the bottle for one in a baby seat (but never lying down) while you feed the other the traditional way or put both of them in their infant seats side by side and feed them at the same time. Feeding
them one after the other is another possibility, but you'll be spending twice as much time feeding themâand will have half as much time to get anything else done. Back-to-back feeds will also put the babies on somewhat different napping schedules if they sleep after eating, which can be good if you'd like some time alone with each, or bad if you depend on that tandem sleeping time to rest or get other chores done.
Don't split z's.
Sleep will necessarily be scarce for the first few months, but it will be scarcer if your babies are always waking at different times during the night. Instead, when the first cries, wake the second (if he or she isn't already awake) and feed them both. Any time that both members of your darling duo are napping during the day, catch a few winks yourselfâor at least try to put your feet up.
Double up on equipment.
When you don't have another pair of hands around to help, utilize such conveniences as baby carriers (you can use a large sling for two babies, use two slings, or tote one baby in a carrier and one in your arms), baby swings, and infant seats. A play yard is a safe playground for your twins as they get older, and because they'll have each other for company, they will be willing to be relegated to it more often and for longer periods than a singleton would. Select a twin stroller to meet your needs, and don't forget that you will need two car seats. Put both in the backseat of the car.
Keep twice as many records.
Who took what at which feeding, who was bathed yesterday, who's scheduled for today? Unless you keep a log or use an app, such as the What to Expect app, to keep track, you're sure to forget. Also make note in a permanent record book of immunizations, illnesses, and so on. Though most of the time, the babies will both get everything that's going around, occasionally only one willâand you may not remember which one.
Go one-on-one.
Though it won't be easy (at least in the beginning), there are ways to find that special one-on-one time with each baby during the day. When you're better rested yourself, stagger naptimeâput one baby down 15 minutes before the otherâso you can devote some individualized attention to the one who's awake. Or take only one on an errand and leave the other one with a sitter. Even everyday baby careâdiaper changes or getting the babies dressedâcan be a chance to bond with each of your twins.
Be doubly alert once your twins are mobile.
You'll find, as your babies begin crawling and cruising, that what one of them doesn't think of in the way of exploits, the other will. So they will need to be watched twice as carefully.
Double up on support.
Other parents of twins will be your best source of insights and tips, so be sure to tap in to them. Don't know anyone in the same double boat? Start hanging out on twin message boards online (check out
WhatToExpect.com
).
Expect things to get doubly better.
The first 4 months with twins are the most challenging. Once you begin to work out the many logistics, you'll find yourself falling into an easier rhythm. Keep in mind, too, that twins are often each other's best company. Many have a way of keeping each other busy that parents of demanding singletons envyâand that will free you up more and more in the months and years to come.
“I've been breastfeeding my son for 3 weeks, and I'm just not enjoying it. I'd like to switch to a bottle, but I feel so guilty.”
Not having fun breastfeeding yet? That's pretty common, given the bumpy start that so many brand new breastfeeding teams get off to (sore nipples ⦠latching on problems ⦠both of those and more?). Usually, even the rockiest road leads to a smooth ride by the middle of the second monthâat which point, breastfeeding becomes a walk in the park, and typically, an enjoyable one at that. So it might make sense to hold off on your decision until your baby is 6 weeks oldâor even 2 months. If by then you're still finding breastfeeding a drag, you can quit or consider doing the combo (supplementing with formula instead of breastfeeding exclusively). Your baby will have received many of the benefits of breastfeeding, and you'll have given breastfeeding your best shot. Which means you can win-win when you ultimately wean-wean. Another option that some moms prefer: pumping their baby's meals and feeding from a bottle.
Decided that you don't have it in you to wait on quitting? Grab a bottle of formula and get busy. For tips on bottle-feeding with love,
click here
.
“My baby loves his bottle. If it were up to him, he'd feed all day. How do I know when to give him more formula or when to stop?”
Because their intake is regulated both by their appetite and by an ingenious supply-and-demand system, breastfed babies rarely get too muchâor too littleâof a good thing. Bottlefed babies, whose intake is regulated instead by their parents, sometimes doâif they drink too much formula, that is. As long as your baby is healthy, happy, wetting his diapers regularly, and gaining adequate weight, you know he's getting enough formula. In other words, if your little one is eating to his appetite
(even if that appetite is huge), there's nothing to be concerned about. But if his bottle becomes the liquid equivalent of an all-you-can-eat buffetârefilled even when he's fullâhe can easily get too much.
Too much formula can lead to a too chubby baby (which, research shows, can lead to a too chubby child and a too chubby adult). But it can also lead to other problems. If your baby seems to be gaining weight too quickly, or if he seems to be spitting up a lot (more than normal,
click here
) he might be taking more ounces than his tiny tummy can handle at this point. Your baby's pediatrician will be able to tell you what his rate of gain should be, and how much formula (approximately) he should be getting at each feeding (
Click here
for guidelines of how much formula to feed). If he does seem to be taking too much, try offering smaller-volume feedings, and stop when baby seems full instead of pushing him to finish. If he's fussy after a feed, consider that he may just need a burpânot a second serving. Or serve up some comfort or entertainment instead (babies cry for reasons other than hunger;
click here
to help decode your baby's cries). Keep in mind, too, that it may just be the sucking (not the formula that comes with it) that he's craving. If your baby's a natural-born sucker, consider offering a pacifier after he's had his fill of formula, or help him find his fingers or a pacifying fist to suck on.
“I'm wondering if I should be giving my son a bottle of water.”
When it comes to feeding, newborn babies have just two optionsâand so do the parents who feed them: breast milk or formula. For the first 6 months or so, one or the other (or a combo of the two) will provide your baby with all the food and fluids he needs, no water necessary. In fact, adding supplementary water to a baby's already all-liquid diet isn't only unnecessary, in excess it can be dangerousâpossibly diluting his blood and causing serious chemical imbalances (just as adding too much water when preparing formula can). If your baby's breastfeeding, water can also satisfy his appetite and his need to suckâpossibly sabotaging breastfeeding and weight gain.
Once your sweetie has started solids, offering sips of water from a cup (babies can't get too much water from a cup, only a bottle) will be fineâand good practice for the days when all his drinks will come from a cup instead of your breasts or a bottle. If the weather's really hot, some pediatricians will okay sips of water for a formula-fed baby before solids are started, but do check first.