What to Expect the Toddler Years (180 page)

DINING OUT WITH A TODDLER

In generations past, outings to restaurants by highchair habitués were rare; parents were likely to reserve a baby-sitter before they reserved a table in their favorite dining establishment. Today, with more parents apart from their toddlers during the day and reluctant to part with them in the evening, it’s common to see under-fours in four-star restaurants. And restaurants of all kinds are responding to their family clientele by becoming more hospitable to younger diners, and more amenable to their special needs.

For a more palatable dining experience with your toddler, consider the following before you set out:

Cuisine.
You may savor souvlaki or relish rellenos, but your toddler’s tastes probably lean more towards pasta (hold the cheese and the green stuff) and chicken fingers (sauce on the side). In the interest of a peaceful meal, let your toddler’s palate help guide your selection of a restaurant. Eateries that offer a children’s menu are best, of course, but any restaurant that is willing to accommodate bizarre menu substitutions and special requests will probably be just fine. Salad bars and buffets may not make for the most relaxed dining, but they eliminate long waits for food, allow your toddler to participate in selecting the meal, and permit going back for seconds when your toddler demands more. Chinese restaurants are often particularly accommodating to the needs of young eaters and the food (brown rice and noodles of all kinds, particularly cold sesame noodles, which have a peanut-buttery taste) is often appealing. And since stir-fry preparations take but minutes, waits for food are usually blessedly brief. (Always ask for food to be prepared without MSG and heavy-duty spices.) Italian restaurants are big favorites with tots who favor pizza and pasta, but it’s also possible to go Mexican if you pick a plain quesadilla (cheese melted on a soft tortilla) for your picky pequeño (be sure to specify no chili or other sauce or garnish). A fish restaurant or steak house that offers baked potatoes that can serve as a meal centerpiece (if your toddler likes them) is also a good choice, especially if they also offer fish sticks or chicken prepared in a way your toddler favors. Any restaurant that offers whole-grain breads is a plus, especially if your toddler tends to fill up on bread.

Amenities.
Booster seats and high chairs, once found only at family restaurants, are now stocked by more and more elegant dining establishments. Call ahead to make sure there’s an ample supply of toddler seating available (unless your child is accustomed to eating kneeling on a chair). If your toddler is fussy about seating, ask if you can bring a booster or toddler seat from home.

Attitude.
Is the restaurant, and its staff, toddler-friendly? The right equipment doesn’t automatically ensure the right experience. Important, too, is the restaurant’s attitude towards pint-sized patrons. When you call, you should be able to determine that by asking straight out, “Are children welcome in the restaurant?” The response will undoubtedly be telling—one way or the other.

Noise level.
A high noise level may inhibit conversation, but it also can drown out toddler whining and fork banging. Lively music or a tableside jukebox (with buttons your toddler can push) are a plus, too, both for entertainment and for camouflaging your young diner’s noisy antics.

Dining time.
Dine unfashionably early. Plan to arrive before the mealtime rush, when the restaurant isn’t crowded and the staff’s not yet frazzled.

Waiting time.
Don’t leave the wait up to fate. When you can, select a restaurant that takes reservations. An occasional restaurant that doesn’t ordinarily take them will make an exception when you plead “toddler.” Others, if you explain your situation, will allow you to call and put your name on the list for tables before you come over, which will cut down on the wait. When there is a
wait, let your toddler run off some energy outside (weather permitting and under adult supervision, of course). Toddlers don’t usually do well when they have to sit and wait for a table and then have to sit and wait for dinner.

Seating.
Reserve the perfect table, when you can. Location isn’t everything, but it counts for a great deal when it comes to dining out successfully with a toddler. So when you call ahead, make sure to specify your requirements and your preferences. Both you and the restaurant will benefit if you’re seated in an out-of-the-way area (far enough from other diners so that any excessive noise from your table won’t disturb them, far enough from wait stations and the kitchen door so that there won’t be a catastrophic collision if your toddler suddenly dashes from the table). Also advantageous is a table close to an exit, which will reduce the potential embarrassment of a hurried exit. For a toddler in the process of learning to use the toilet, easy access to the rest rooms is a good idea. Booths are a best bet for toddlers too big for a high chair; in a booth, they can be safely sandwiched between a parent and the wall, with no chairs to tip backwards.

Appropriate accoutrements.
Restaurants that provide crayons and paper tablecovers or placemats get extra points; so do that small but growing number that offer a play area. Never head for a restaurant that doesn’t offer these amenities empty-handed. You’ll need more than a menu to order up a pleasant eating experience—you’ll need kiddy entertainment galore. So pack a bag full of books, crayons, a drawing pad or coloring book, and a few small and quiet toys (but plan on offering them one at a time). If you bring a ravenous toddler into a restaurant where you can’t be sure of immediate tummy gratification (food from a salad bar or buffet, whole-grain bread on the table, and so on), bring along something to hold your toddler until the meal arrives (such as a whole-grain roll, breadsticks, or crackers). Alternatively, you could give your child a light bite before leaving for the restaurant—but this could completely spoil the appetite for dinner, and for sit ting still.

Once you’ve arrived at the restaurant:
Go for speed.
There’s nothing like a leisurely dinner—if you’ve left junior home with a baby-sitter. But if he or she’s sitting between the two of you, pounding the table for food, climbing over the back of the booth, and clanging the silverware, speed is of the essence—your goal should be to get in, get fed, and get out as expeditiously as possible. Eating at restaurants that specialize in speedy service (but generally avoiding fast-food eateries that specialize in high-fat cuisine; see page 518) will help; some that offer take-out (pizza restaurants, for instance) will accept a call ahead to place your order, then serve you when you arrive. When that’s not a possibility, peruse the menu before you’re seated and order as soon as you are. Ordering all courses at once, rather than placing appetizer and/or beverage orders first, saves time, too. Though, on first consideration, asking that your toddler’s meal be brought first sounds like a good idea, consider that he or she may be finished—and halfway out the door—by the time your meal arrives. Unless your toddler is a really slow eater (someone who can be expected to continue nibbling for at least half an hour), ask that everyone’s food be brought as soon as possible. If your meal comes with a salad, soup, or appetizer and your toddler’s doesn’t, either ask to have your toddler’s meal served with your first course (so the multiple courses don’t slow down the dining process) or ask for something appropriate for your toddler to start with, too. (Or bring out some crackers from home at this juncture.) Bread before dinner should be doled out judiciously to avoid filling up on it, particularly if there are no whole grains in the basket. Best is a fairly hard-to-chew roll or crusty breadstick, on which a toddler will have to work long and hard to make a dent.

When, try as you might to orchestrate the meal so that everyone starts and finishes eating around the same time, you’re just lifting that first bite of chicken to your mouth as the youngest member of your party declares
“All done!” you can consider providing a simple dessert (fresh fruit or ice cream, for example, or a few fruit-sweetened cookies brought from home) to occupy your child until
you
are “all done!”

Pay heed.
Don’t wait until your toddler begins literally screaming for attention to give some. Save most of the adult talk for an adult night out, and concentrate on conversation with your child. Begin to offer, one at a time, your selection of distractions to keep your child amused until the food comes. If you’ve forgotten to pack a goody bag, use the napkin or menu for peek-a-boo, play some finger games, and otherwise improvise entertainment.

Order favorite foods.
Order dishes you know your child likes—don’t attempt taste tests in restaurants, except from your plate. Rely on children’s meals if your child likes them; share full meals if there are two or more children in your party (ask that they be split in the kitchen); order an appetizer or half of an entrée as your toddler’s main course (or order a full entrée and plan on taking half home); or combine side dishes into a meal (for example, a baked potato, a scoop of cottage cheese, and a dish of broccoli). If your toddler is a purist, warn the server to hold the garnish; explain that even a sprinkling of parsley on plain pasta could spell rejection and a return trip to the kitchen. If your toddler objects to foods touching (see page 245), ask that all things wet and gooey be served on the side.

Set limits.
It’s unreasonable to expect a toddler to sit through a restaurant meal as the model of politeness and decorum. But it’s also unfair to subject fellow diners to an hour of uncensored toddler shenanigans. (Consider, after all, that the people at the next table may be paying good money to a baby-sitter so they can relax without their own offspring for an evening.) Go out of your way to keep your toddler relatively quiet and content during your meal; if he or she nevertheless becomes so disruptive that other diners are disturbed, it’s high time for some time out. While one adult remains at the table (and enjoys the luxury of a few moments of dining tranquillity), the other should take your toddler outside for a change of scenery and a chance to cool off. If more than one time-out is necessary, take turns; that way, all adults get the opportunity to eat. (But be careful that you’re not being led astray by a shrewd toddler who is fussing in order to force you to leave the table.) And don’t take your toddler home before your meal is finished; doing this gives toddlers the idea they can change parental dinner plans simply by acting up.
Note:
Make it a rule that your toddler cannot get out of his or her seat during the meal without first asking for permission. Children wandering alone around a restaurant can walk into someone carrying a tray of hot food or beverages and cause a serious accident (not to mention, get hurt themselves).

Tip well.
The special requests, the pasta ground into the carpet, the tomato sauce splattered across the table, the drinks upturned, and the plates tipped over—five good reasons why anyone who waits on a toddler deserves a little something extra for his or her efforts. Be especially generous if you plan to return to the restaurant.