What to Expect the Toddler Years (219 page)

Never leave your toddler alone in your house, apartment, or backyard. Never leave a young toddler alone in a room except when safely deposited in a play-yard, crib, or other safe enclosure—and then only for a few minutes, unless he or she is sleeping (in which case the area should be childproofed and within earshot—in case the child awakens and gets up). Don’t leave your toddler alone, even “safely” enclosed in a crib or playpen, awake or asleep, with another young child under five (they often don’t know their own strength or realize the possible consequences of their actions) or a pet (even a docile one). Sometimes an even older child cannot be trusted with a toddler, so use your best case-by-case judgment. It’s also unsafe to leave a toddler alone in a car, even for a few moments. You can leave your toddler strapped into a car seat while you close the garage door, as long as you haven’t left the key in the ignition (young children have been known to turn the key).

Become familiar, if you aren’t already, with emergency and first-aid procedures (see page 661). Take a child cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) course that teaches what to do in case of near-drowning, choking, head injury, and so on. Although you can’t always prevent accidents, knowing what to do if a serious one occurs can save lives and limbs.

Give your toddler plenty of freedom. Once you’ve made the environment as safe as possible, avoid hovering. Though you’ll want your child to be safety conscious, it isn’t wise to discourage the normal experimentation of childhood. Children, like grown-ups, can benefit by learning from their mistakes; never giving them the chance to make mistakes can retard growth and actually puts them at greater risk. The child who’s most likely to be injured at a gymnastics birthday party is the one who’s never learned, by trial
and
error, to use the equipment. And the child who is afraid to run,
climb, or try new things misses out not only on the learning experiences that come from free play, but on a lot of the fun of childhood as well.

Set a safe example (and have significant others in your child’s life do the same). Keep in mind that when the two are contradictory, your toddler is more likely to do what you do rather than what you say. The best way to teach safe living is to practice it. You can’t expect a child to be happy about being strapped into a car seat when you don’t buckle up yourself, to obey traffic signals if you dash across the street in spite of a “Don’t Walk” light, or to respect the risks fire represents if you leave burning cigarettes all over the house.

Injuries are much more likely to happen to those who are susceptible to them. And of course, toddlers, with their eagerness to try new things, their shaky motor skills, their relative immaturity, and their lack of judgment, easily fall into that category. Some toddlers (for example, the risk-takers, who show no fear when on a high slide or getting ready to jump off a wall) are particularly susceptible. Take this into consideration in setting safety standards, if your toddler has any of these characteristics. After all, your job as a parent is to reduce this susceptibility—as much as you can.

To that end, it isn’t enough to injury-proof your child’s environment, you’ve got to begin to injury-proof your child by teaching what’s safe and what’s unsafe (and why), instilling a respect for the body and the risks it faces, and establishing (and modeling) good safety habits. Start by building and using a vocabulary of warning words: (“Ouch,” “Boo-boo,” “Hot,” “Sharp”) and phrases (“Don’t touch,” “That’s dangerous,” “Be careful,” “That’s an ouch,” “That could give you a boo-boo”). Your toddler will automatically come to associate these phrases with potentially dangerous objects, substances, and situations. Your dramatic warnings may seem to sail right over your little one’s head at first. But in time, your child’s brain will begin to store and process the information, until one day, it becomes apparent that your lessons have taken hold. Teach your toddler now about the following:

Sharp or pointy implements.
Whenever you use a knife, scissors, razor, or letter opener, or other sharp implement, be sure to remind your toddler that it’s sharp, that it’s not a toy, that only Mommy (and Daddy or other grown-ups) are allowed to use it. Illustrate more tangibly by pretending to touch the point of the implement, saying “Ouch,” and pulling your finger away quickly in mock pain. Point out that
you
always carry scissors point down, holding the blades, and that you never run with any sharp object; make it clear that you expect your child to do the same when old enough to use such implements. As your child becomes older and gains better small-motor control, teach cutting with a pair of child’s safety scissors and with a butter knife. Eventually, sometime in the school years, you can advance your child to supervised use of the “adult” versions.

Hot stuff.
By a year, if you’ve already begun introducing the concept, your toddler will probably understand (albeit in a very rudimentary way) what “hot” means, that the warning “hot!” means don’t touch, and that something that’s hot can mean a boo-boo. If you haven’t taught this yet, start now. Illustrate your point by letting your toddler touch something “hot,” but not hot enough to burn, such as the outside of your coffee cup. Whether the concept is novel or old hat,
however, continue to consistently remind that your coffee (or the stove, a lit match or candle, a radiator or heater, a fireplace, the hot-water faucet) is hot and shouldn’t be touched by children. Be particularly careful to provide this warning with something new in your home—a new toaster, or a recently installed wood stove. When your child is old enough to strike a match or carry a hot drink (some time in the mid-school years), he or she should be taught how to do so safely.

Steps.
True, it’s necessary to protect a new walker from serious falls by securely gating all staircases in the home. But it is also necessary to help your child learn how to navigate steps safely. The child who has no experience with steps, who knows nothing about them (except that they are off-limits) is at greatest risk of a tumble the first time an open stairway is discovered. So put a gate at the top of every stairway of more than three steps in your home—going downstairs is much trickier, and thus much more dangerous, for the beginner than going up. But when you’re downstairs, put the gate three steps up from the bottom so that your child can practice going up and down under controlled conditions. Show your toddler how to hold on to the rail while climbing up or down the stairs. When your toddler becomes proficient, open the gate occasionally so that he or she can tackle the full flight as you stand or crouch a step or two below, ready to provide back-up if necessary. Or hold your child’s hand as you walk up together. Once going up is mastered, help your child learn how to come down safely. Many toddlers crawl down on their tummies at first; others bump down on their bottoms. As they become more proficient, they start walking down one step at a time. Continue to keep the gates in place, fastening them when you’re not able to stand by, until your child is a very reliable step climber (somewhere around two years old). Even then, putting a gate at the head of the stairs is still a good idea (especially at night if your toddler is prone to wandering).

If there aren’t any stairs in your home or building, find a set (at the home of a friend, a relative, or at some other accessible location) and let your child do some practicing with you close at hand.

Electrical hazards.
Electrical outlets, cords, and appliances all hold great appeal for curious toddlers. And it’s not enough to use distraction every time you catch your child on the way to probing an unprotected outlet, or to hide all the visible cords in your home; it’s also necessary to repeatedly remind the toddler of their “ouch” potential and to teach older children respectful use of electricity and the risks of mixing it with water.

Tubs, pools, and other watery attractions.
Water play is fun and educational; encourage it. But also encourage a healthy respect for water. Teach your toddler basic water safety rules, including: it’s dangerous (and prohibited!) to get into water (the tub, a pool, a pond, or any other body of water) without a parent or another grown-up; no running or horsing around near a pool or in it; no playing with wheeled toys near the pool; no diving head first; no going past the shallow end of pool, which should be shallow enough for a toddler to stand in (there should be a “lifeline”—a rope with floats attached—dividing deep and shallow ends). But remember, you can’t sufficiently “waterproof” a young child, not even with water wings and swimming lessons; never leave a toddler alone near water (see page 648). One rule you don’t have to teach your toddler: No swimming until an hour after meals. In spite of what your grandmother always told you, swimming on a full stomach doesn’t pose any risks at all.

Choking hazards.
When your child puts something in his or her mouth that doesn’t belong there (a coin, a pencil, a peanut, a block), take it away and explain, “You can’t put those things in your mouth. They might get stuck in your throat and hurt you.” Teach your child that it isn’t safe to run with an object—a lollipop, a teething ring, pencil, pacifier, or a toy—in his or her mouth (a face-first fall could force the toy down the throat, blocking the airways and causing injury and possible suffocation); that food should only be eaten in a seated position; and that it’s not only impolite, but unsafe, to talk with one’s mouth full.