What to expect when you're expecting (97 page)

“I have a three-year-old who always wants to be carried. Is it okay to keep doing it at this point in pregnancy? It’s definitely killing my back.”

Carrying moderately heavy loads (even some 35 or 40 pounds of preschooler) is safe throughout pregnancy unless your practitioner has told you otherwise. What giving in to those choruses of “carry me” can end up doing to your back is another story—a probably painful one. Breaking her of the being-carried habit would definitely be a better strategy than continuing to break your back—so try making walking fun for her. Challenge her to mini races, or climb the stairs to a song. Don’t forget to applaud her efforts when she does agree to walk on her own two feet instead of hailing the mommy taxi—and try to blame your back (not her sibling-to-be. for the slowdown in pick ups. Compensate, too, with plenty of holding and hugging from a sitting position. And because there will be times when she definitely won’t take “walk” for an answer, save your back some strain by learning the proper way to lift her (see
page 237
).

“I keep wondering if I will be happy with this whole parenthood thing. I have no clue what it’ll really be like.”

Most people approach any major change in their lives—and there’s no more major change than an upcoming birth—wondering whether it will be a change they’ll be happy with. And it’s always much more likely to be a happy change if you keep your expectations realistic.

So, if you have images of bringing a cooing, smiling, picture-perfect baby home from the hospital, you may want to read up on what newborns are really like. Not only won’t your newborn be smiling or cooing for many weeks, he or she may hardly communicate with you at all, except to cry—and this will almost invariably be when you’re sitting down to dinner or starting to get busy in bed, have to go to the bathroom, or are so tired you can’t move.

And if your visions of parenthood consist of nothing but leisurely morning walks through the park, sunny days at the zoo, and hours coordinating a wardrobe of miniature, picture-perfect clothes, another reality check is probably in order. You’ll have your share of walks in the park, but there will also be many mornings that turn into evenings before you and your baby have the chance to see the light of day; many sunny days that will be spent largely in the laundry room; very few tiny outfits that will escape unstained by spit-up, pureed bananas, and baby vitamins.

What you can expect realistically, however, are some of the most wondrous, miraculous experiences of your life. The fulfillment you will feel when cuddling a warm, sleeping bundle of baby (even if that cherub was howling moments before) is incomparable. That—along with that first toothless smile meant just for you—will be well worth all the sleepless nights, delayed dinners, mountains of laundry, and frustrated romance.

Happy? Just you wait, Mom.

“Is it safe to buckle my seat belt in the car? And is the air bag an issue when you’re pregnant?”

There’s no safer way for an expectant mother—and her unborn baby—to travel than buckled up. Plus, it’s the law in most places. For maximum safety and minimum discomfort, fasten the belt below your belly, across your pelvis and upper thighs. Wear the shoulder harness over your shoulder (not under your arm), diagonally between your breasts and to the side of your belly. And don’t worry that the pressure of an abrupt stop will hurt your baby; he or she is well cushioned by amniotic fluid and uterine muscle, among the world’s best shock-absorbing materials.

As for air bags, it’s safest to keep your distance. So if you’re sitting in the passenger seat, set the seat as far back as you can (your legs will appreciate the stretching room, too). If you’re driving, tilt the wheel up toward your chest, away from your tummy, and sit at least 10 inches from the steering wheel, if possible.

“Is it safe for me to go ahead and take the vacation we had planned for this month?”

Never again will it be so easy to vacation with your baby. Fast-forward to next year when you’ll be lugging a car seat, diapers, toys, and child-proofing kits wherever you go, and you’ll see why. And there’s no better time for pregnant travel than the second trimester. After all, the fatigue, queasiness, and emotional extremes of the first trimester are behind you—but you’re not yet at the point where your belly has a life of its own, making it hard enough to drag yourself around, never mind the luggage.

So don’t have reservations about those reservations you’ve made. But before you pack your suitcase, do get the go-ahead from your practitioner. Chances are your vacation plans will be green-lighted, since travel is rarely restricted during pregnancy unless there’s an obstetrical or medical complication.

Once you’ve been cleared for takeoff, you’ll only need to do a little planning to ensure a safe and pleasant expectant voyage, whether it’s a quick business trip or a leisurely babymoon:

Time it right.
When you’re planning a pregnancy vacation, timing is everything. For long-distance travel, the second trimester is the clear winner. Far-flung travel during the first trimester, even in a low-risk pregnancy, can be pretty uncomfortable, especially if morning sickness, fatigue, and other early symptoms have hit hard. Likewise, roaming far from home isn’t recommended in the last part of the last trimester for obvious reasons: Should you go into labor early, you’d be stranded far from your practitioner.

Choose a suitable destination.
A hot, humid climate may be hard for you to handle because of your hopped- up metabolism; if you do choose such a locale, make sure that your hotel and transportation are air-conditioned
and that you stay hydrated and out of the sun. Travel to areas at high altitude (more than 7,000 feet above sea level) may be unsafe, because adjusting to the decrease in oxygen may be too taxing for both you and your baby. Other inappropriate destinations are developing regions of the world for which vaccinations would be necessary, since some vaccines may be hazardous during pregnancy (check with your practitioner). Not insignificantly, these same locales may be hotbeds of certain potentially dangerous infections for which there are no vaccines—another reason to avoid them when you’re expecting. Not to mention the risk of food- and water-borne illnesses common in those parts.

Buckling up for two

Jettisoning Jet Lag

Add jet lag to the normal fatigue of pregnancy and you’re likely to want to end your trip before it begins. So it makes sense to try to minimize—if you can’t completely eliminate—the physically draining effects of travel across time zones. Here’s how:

Start switching time zones before you leave.
Ease yourself into the time zone you’re headed for by setting your watch—and your schedule—gradually back or forward. If you’re heading east, start getting up a little earlier and going to bed a little earlier a few days before your departure. If you’re heading west, go to bed a little later and get up a little later (if you can). On your plane ride, try to sleep if it’s an appropriate sleeping time at your destination, or stay awake if it’s not.

Live on local time.
Once you arrive at your destination, start living on local time full-time. If you arrive at your Paris hotel room at 7
A.M
., exhausted from an overnight flight, resist the urge to nap until noon. Instead, try to get a second wind going with a shower and a hearty breakfast, and then step out for a slow-paced day. Don’t push yourself—take frequent breaks to sit down with your feet up—but do try hard to stay vertical. Lie down and you’re sure to surrender to sleep. Dine, too, according to the local clock and not your internal one (snack if you’re hungry, but hold off on a full meal until the clock strikes “eat”), and strive to stay awake until as close to your usual bedtime (local time) as possible. This should help you sleep through the local night. Avoid sleeping in, too, which could make going to bed at a normal time the next night more difficult. Ask for a wake-up call, even if you think you won’t need it.

Seek out sun.
Getting some sunlight will help you reset your biological clock, so be sure to spend some time outdoors on your first day at your new destination. If there’s no sun to be found, at least spend some time outdoors. If you’ve gone west to east, the best sun to seek is morning sun; if you’ve gone east to west, get your daylight in the late afternoon.

Eat, drink, and be less jet-lagged.
Anyone who travels frequently knows how dehydrating air travel can be. And dehydration can make jet lag symptoms more severe (not to mention put you at risk for pregnancy complications). So drink plenty of water on the plane, and continue drinking once you have arrived. Take time to eat regularly, too. Concentrate on foods that are high in long-term energy boosters, such as protein and complex carbohydrates, preferably eaten in combo. Getting some exercise (nothing strenuous; a walk in a park or a few laps in the hotel pool are just right) will also help you feel less fatigued.

Don’t look for a miracle.
Don’t use any over-the-counter, prescription, or herbal preparation for jet lag (or any purpose) without your practitioner’s approval.

Give it time.
You should start to feel less tired and more in sync with the local schedule within a couple of days.

You may find sleep problems—and the fatigue that inevitably accompanies them—continue to plague you during the entire trip. But let’s face it, that may have less to do with jet lag and more to do with the fact that you’re carrying around a lot of extra baggage—the kind you can’t ask a skycap or bellman to help you with.

Pregnant at a High Altitude

Women who are accustomed to breathing thinner air because they live at a high altitude are far less likely to encounter an altitude-induced problem in their pregnancies (hypertension, water retention, a somewhat smaller-than-average baby) than those who just moved there after a lifetime at sea level. For that reason, many practitioners suggest postponing a contemplated move or visit from low altitude to high until after delivery. And scaling Mount Rainier is definitely out for now.

If you must make a trip to a destination at a high altitude, try to ascend gradually, if possible (if you’re driving, for example, try to go up 2,000 feet a day, rather than going up 8,000 feet all at once). To minimize the risk of developing acute mountain sickness (AMS), also plan on limiting exertion for a few days after your arrival, drink lots of fluids, eat frequent small meals instead of three large ones, avoid rich and heavy food, and seek sleeping accommodations, if feasible, at a somewhat lower altitude.

Plan a trip that’s relaxing.
A single destination trumps a whirlwind tour that takes you to six cities in six days. A vacation for which you set the pace is a lot better than one where a group tour guide sets it for you. A few hours of sightseeing or shopping (or meetings) should be alternated with time spent with your feet up. You’ll need to listen to your pregnant body, which may have to set the agenda.

Insure yourself.
Sign up for reliable travel insurance, in case a pregnancy complication should require you to change your plans and stick close to home. Consider medical evacuation insurance as well if you’re traveling overseas, in case you need to return home quickly and under medical supervision. Medical travel insurance may also be useful if your regular insurance plan does not include foreign medical care. Check your policy ahead of time.

Pack a pregnancy survival kit.
Make sure you take enough prenatal vitamins to last the trip; some healthy snacks; Sea-Bands if you’re susceptible to motion sickness and a medication for traveler’s stomach that’s been recommended by your practitioner; comfortable shoes roomy enough to accommodate feet swelled by long hours of sightseeing or work; and sunscreen.

If you’re traveling overseas, have the name of a local obstetrician handy, just in case. Contact the International
Association for Medical Assistance to Travelers (IAMAT) at (716) 754-4883 or at iamat.org, which can provide you with a directory of English-speaking physicians throughout the world. Some major hotel chains can also provide you with this kind of information. When you’re overseas, if for any reason you find yourself in need of a doctor in a hurry and your hotel can’t provide you with one, you can call the American embassy, an American military base, or the nearest teaching hospital. Or you can head for the hospital’s emergency room. If you have medical travel insurance, you should have a number to call for help.

Take healthy eating habits with you.
You may be on vacation, but your baby is working as hard as ever at growing and developing and has the same nutritional requirements as always. Order thoughtfully and you will be able to savor the local cuisine while also fulfilling your baby’s requirements. Most important: Eat regularly and snack as needed. Don’t skip breakfast or lunch to save up for a six-course dinner.