Whatever Tomorrow Brings (The Californians 1) (26 page)

"Can it only be a few months since we were together? I miss you until I don't think I can stand it. To return here without you or your mother has given new meaning to the word lonely. If you're thinking of coming back to Hawaii, do not. I still believe we're to live there and I want you to wait for me.

"Kaitlin, make sure you are getting enough rest. What will you do for income when school is out? I love you, Katie. Sean, do not put pressure on yourself to take care of everyone. Work together and do not burden yourself overmuch. I love you, Sean. Marcail, be respectful of Kaitlin's teaching without mother. Obey your brother and sister and pray that they'll know the right courses of action. I love you, Marc.

"I'll anxiously await your letters. I've written to your aunt and she knows I'm encouraging you to stay where you are if all is well. But don't hesitate to go back to her. Percy is gone for good. Write me. I love all of you, Father."

Kate thought her head would burst in an effort to contain her tears. Marcail's tears streamed soundlessly down her cheeks and Sean kept his face buried against his upraised knees for a long time. The evening lengthened and even though Kaitlin knew that May would be keeping supper warm for them, she couldn't move to go inside.

It was almost dark when Rigg came out of the house to find them. His heart wrenched at the sight of them huddled together beneath a mammoth willow by the creek. He assumed that their father's letter told them his return would be delayed. He didn't try to talk to them but gently lifted Marcail into his arms. With his free hand he pulled Sean to his feet and then reached for Kate.

He carried Marcail all the way to the house and kept his arm around Kaitlin. He ushered them in the back door to his mother's tender care before he realized Sean had not come inside. Rigg stepped back outside just in time to see him retreating to the barn. With a prayerful heart he followed.

Sean walked into the barn, thinking as he did that it was darker inside of him than it was in the barn. He knew he needed to turn to God but he was so angry that his mother was dead and bitter that his father was gone.

He heard someone come in behind him. Not until a lamp was lit did he turn to see who it was, making no attempt to hide his tears.

Rigg's tall form stood next to the post where he'd hung the lamp. They regarded each other in silence for a moment, then Sean's voice betrayed to Rigg his pain and fury.

"I suppose you've come out here to tell me to be a man! To be strong for the girls!" The words were hurled as an accusation and Rigg stood quiet as a dry sob followed those embittered words.

Sean turned to lean on the door of a stall, his body now shaking with his cries. The older man moved toward him. There was no hesitation when Rigg's arms went around the young man. Sean turned and clung to him.

Rigg let him cry in silence, thinking as he did that 14 was not so very old. Sean was capable and responsible and looked like a man, but it didn't change the fact that at 14 you still need your father very much and Sean's only parent was many miles away.

Rigg thought back on his own life at 14 and how close he was to Bill, enabling him to ask questions about the changes in his body. Why everything felt so strange, as though he were living inside of someone else's skin. Rigg was quite certain that Sean would never be able to talk with Kate about how he felt. It wasn't that she was unapproachable, just a woman who probably didn't understand the transition from boy to man.

A few minutes later Sean pulled away from Rigg and wiped his face on his sleeves. "Are you ready to head home?" Sean's voice was quiet but not embarrassed, a fact for which Rigg was thankful.

"We can go if you want or you can have something to eat first. Mom kept things hot."

Realizing he was hungry, Sean nodded and started toward the door. It was on Rigg's mind to tell him they could talk later, but somehow, holding the boy as he cried was enough for now. It let him know that Rigg was there when he needed him.

forty

Kate had a restful night but stayed home from church in the morning. She spent a long time reading her Bible, the book of James. She then took a leisurely bath, washed her hair and left it down to dry. May had set out some bread and eggs and after Kaitlin was satisfied, she started a letter to her father. As she began to write in the quiet house, she realized how long it had been since she'd been alone and how much she missed the solitude.

Dear Father,

We received your letter yesterday and even though we share your grief over this calamity, we're sorry you're not coming right home. Please stay in Hawaii where they need you so desperately. We are doing very well; please don't worry about us. We too wish we could be with you but understand your responsibility to the mission. Give our love to the people there and tell them we're praying.

School dismissed for the summer on Friday but I have a good-paying job at the mercantile where Sean works. I'll be doing the-store's-book work.

If you were here, Father, I would want you to meet the man who owns the mercantile, Marshall Riggs. He's the man with whom Sean lives. (Marc and I are settled in our small house. It's really very cozy.) I don't know how I feel about this man, Father, but I feel something that I've never felt for anyone. He is a believer and when we first arrived, I thought he might be interested in me. I'm not sure now. It is, of course, his store in which I'll be starting work on Monday, June 5.

Please don't think he's been threatening in any way. I believe it's very safe to work for him. As I said before, the only thing not settled are my feelings. I know you'll pray for me and I feel better just having shared this with you.

Sean is working hard and Mr. Riggs is pleased with his effort. Marc will be with Sean on the days he's not working or with May Taylor, Mr. Riggs' mother. I am writing from the Taylors' right now. They have taken us under their wing and we usually stay with them on Saturday night and then ride with them to church. The family is William and May Taylor with sons, Marshall, May's son from a previous marriage, Jeffrey, Gilbert, and Nathan. Nate is one of my pupils.

I suspect you'll want to know about the church. The fellowship is good and the preaching straight from the Word. I miss your services though.

I'll encourage Sean and Marc to write this week. Please pray for me as I begin this new job and as I work closely with Mr. Riggs. I love you Father, and remember you're always in my prayers.

Katie

Kate felt drained when she finished the letter and went out to sit in the sun to dry her hair. Her mind strayed to Joey and the chance that he might have been at church that morning. With school out she wondered when she would see him.

The one time she'd mentioned going to his house, Rigg had discouraged her. He had tried to sound casual but Kate had been acutely aware of the tensing of his body so contrary to the nonchalant tone of his voice.

Well, she would have to do what she thought was right. Kate continued to dwell on Rigg and she thanked God for the way he'd gone to Sean the night before. Kate had been so drained, and she just wasn't as close to Sean as she once was. She wouldn't have known what to say even if she had gone to the barn with him.

She and Marcail had just been finishing their own supper when Sean had come in and polished off two large bowls of stew and Kaitlin didn't know how many biscuits. She hadn't seen him this morning before they left for church, but knew he'd be coming back for lunch.

Kate had talked to Marcail as they'd gone to bed and felt she was doing very well. Marcail was good about expressing her feelings. If something upset her, she usually talked about it or cried and then got on the road to getting over it or changing it. Kate envied her that trait.

Kate had a tendency to bury her hurts deep inside and when they tried to rear their ugly heads, she effectively pushed them right back down. Kate gave the appearance of handling upsets well, when in actuality she did not handle them at all.

It seemed there was much to pray about on this sunny morning and Kate's hair was completely dry by the time she left the porch. Once in her room, she scooped the blue-black mass into her usual chignon and went downstairs to peel potatoes for lunch. She had Sunday dinner well under way, much to May's delight, by the time the wagons pulled into the yard.

"Did you have a restful morning?"

"Yes, I really did. I haven't been alone in a long time and it felt good to sit and pray when it was so quiet. I also wrote a long letter to Father."

Rigg and Kaitlin were walking across the yard to the swing, where Marcail was sitting. Kaitlin had promised to come and talk with her after lunch. Rigg, not believing how much he missed having Kate with him in church, had followed her.

"It felt good to tell him how we're doing. I want to thank you again for giving me a job. I know it's a burden off his heart to know we're taking care of ourselves."

"You don't need to thank me, Katie. I didn't make the offer out of charity. I need you." Something in his voice, on those last words, caused Kate to turn and look at him. But she didn't see anything out of the ordinary and her heartbeat slowed down.

"Hi Katie," Marcail called to her from the swing.

"Hi Marc."

"Hi Mr. Riggs."

"Hello Marcail. You're holding on tight aren't you?"

"Sure." Marcail looked surprised and Kate chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm laughing because I still don't think you believe she's nine years old."

"She is small."

Their voices were low and Marcail wasn't paying much attention to them anyhow.

"She's the picture of our mother who was very petite. Sean and I resemble Father. We appear to be stronger and sturdier but in actuality it's Marc who has all the energy. In the morning she wakes up ready to go, and most nights I have to tell her to be quiet so I can go to sleep. Of course once she is asleep nothing could wake her. I'm the same way."

"Yes, I know."

"What?" Kate asked softly, looking at Rigg in open curiosity. Rigg wished he could hide somewhere. He had planned on telling her that he'd carried her to bed when they were celebrating their tenth anniversary and not before.

"How did you know?" Kaitlin pressed him, thinking that she would have to speak to Sean about sharing such private matters without her permission.

Rigg, seeing that she was waiting, took a deep breath and told Kaitlin he'd carried her to bed. He watched her eyes grow very round before she drew herself up in her teacher's stance, finger in the air, mouth open to speak. But Rigg cut her off.

"There you go. Getting all prim and proper on me again. We were getting along just fine and now you're the teacher again."

Kate was so surprised a slight breeze could have pushed her over. But she was quick to recover.

"Mr. Riggs-" she began, only to hear Rigg interrupt again.

"You start at the store tomorrow and I don't want to be addressed as Mr. Riggs." He watched Kate's chin go into the air but he was equally as determined. "You've called me Rigg once. I suppose when you forgot to be your prim and proper self, so I'll expect to be called Rigg from now on."

"I never-"

"Yes, you did."

They stood in stony silence for a moment before Kate saw that Marcail was no longer swinging but standing within earshot.

"Can we go see the barn?" her voice was tentative and Kate drummed up a smile to let her know everything was all right. Rigg joined them and Kate wondered if Marcail could feel the tension in the air. She watched as Marcail touched the velvety noses of the Taylors' horses and then climbed up into the buggy seat. When she moved to the ladder that led to the hayloft Kate called her back.

"It's very safe," Rigg assured them both and Kate gave her permission. She stared up anxiously while standing at the bottom of the ladder. Rigg watched her face as Marcail climbed.

"Now who's forgetting she's nine?" His voice was amused and Kate laughed at being found out. Marcail climbed with no problem and disappeared over the side.

"This really would have been a wonderful place to grow up, Mr. Riggs," Kate said as she looked around. "I almost envy you."