What's His Is Mine (25 page)

I
tried to give DeCarious one more chance to see if he would come to his senses and wake the fuck up. See if he would realize he had more to gain with me than without me. Somebody needed to inform him that it is cheaper to keep her. My attorney is so good. If he still wanted to go through with the divorce, then fine, because my attorney said that he didn't have a case against me. He couldn't prove that I didn't know I was pregnant. He couldn't prove that I didn't have a spontaneous abortion. But if DeCarious wanted to play hardball he could. And if he did, I was going to go right ahead with the domestic abuse allegations and release all the threats he left me to the news media. I would ruin him, and I tried to explain that to him, but he was stubborn and dumb. If he knew what's best for his finances, he would heed my advice.

“DeCarious?” I yelled into the phone.

“What?” he yelled back.

“I just wanted to say—”

“I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Get it through your damn head. We are never going to be together. Stop calling my damn phone. I have the woman I love back. She loves me. She has her own money, career, and she would love me tomorrow if I was broke. Listen, don't call me if it is not about Asia.”

He hung up on me again, and I called him right back.

“DeCarious?”

“What, Adrienne? I thought I just told you not to call my phone if it was not pertaining to my daughter.”

“I'll call you whenever I feel like it. Okay? You like your house, right?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Adrienne?”

“It means exactly what you think it means.” I tried to take the bass out of my voice and sweeten up my tone. “DeCarious, I didn't call to argue, but I do want to explain something to you.”

“You don't have to explain anything to me. I don't want to hear it, Adrienne. Something is really wrong with you.”

“I'm going to tell you anyway. By law, I'm entitled to half. I'm your wife! I know you have an attorney, but he is giving you wrong information. My attorney is a beast, and she is not playing. So you might want to think twice about trying to move forward with this annulment.” I paused. “I am willing to make it work with you. But if we don't make a deal, I will make sure that you
never see Asia again!
” I screamed, and then I hung up on him.

He called my phone and left a message. I listened to the scathing words he left for me. “Adrienne, if you keep my daughter away from me, I will hurt you. I will kill you, bitch. They will find your dumb ass in a ditch.”

I called him back and said, “DeCarious, thank you for leaving me more threats. Don't say I didn't warn your dumb ass. And did you just say you were going to kill me and they are going to find my body in a ditch? A judge will love to hear this. Maybe I need to call your girlfriend's job or FOX 5 and let them know that DeCarious Simmons is a deadbeat dad and abuser, and he is threatening to kill me. I think I'm going to get a restraining order on you now, because I'm scared.” I laughed and then hung up on him again.

“Adrienne, you are really crazy.”

“Yeah, well, my crazy ass is going to hang up so I can call the police now. I think I have some photos from when you choked me, too. You know I bruise easily.”

“Adrienne, you are the fuck crazy. No one is going to believe you.”

“I bet they will.”

“No one likes a man who beats on his women and doesn't take care of his child. You are going down. I'm taking everything, DeCarious. Everything. You hear me? Your house, your money, and your life.”

“You can't take my house or my money.”

“Watch me. Start packing your shit because you are getting evicted,” I said as I hung up on him again. I was done playing nice. I called my attorney and told her to go ahead. She could do whatever was necessary. I'd do a news conference with my big, black, round sunglasses on, and sniffle for the cameras as I wiped away imaginary tears. I laughed at the thought. I didn't want to do it to him like this, but he did it to himself.

D
eCarious ran in the door, huffing and puffing. I was scared to ask what was wrong.

“What's wrong?”

He then went to the door, opened it and slammed it, and began punching his fist into his palm. “How can this bitch think she can just take my money? How can she say she deserves half? She never worked hard a day in her life. I want to kill her.”

“Calm down, baby. What is going on? I don't understand.”

“My attorney called Adrienne and asked her if she was served with the annulment papers. I called her and she told me to call her attorney. So now her attorney is threatening to have a news conference saying that I'm an abuser.”

“She doesn't have any proof,” I said.

“She does. She was making me so mad, I did leave on her voice mail that she was going to make me kill her.”

“DeCarious, you didn't.”

“I did. It was dumb, but she kept calling me and saying how I won't be able to see my daughter, and I just got so angry. So my attorney called back and said that they want spousal support and child support. She wants my house. I was willing to give her five hundred thousand. So then Adrienne calls me and says that if I don't give her what she wants she will take half of my income. Then she said she was going to the media and say that I have been physically abusing her. She is trying to ruin me. I hate her. I swear, I hate her. I'm ready to have someone kill her.”

“Stop talking crazy. We will work this out.”

“I worked hard for all this. I'm not super rich, but I'm doing okay. I did this work. I ran them miles. I get up at 5 a.m. I went to college, worked out in the snow and rain in high school. This was my sacrifice. I will kill her before she gets half of everything I've worked for. I swear on my daughter. I will kill that bitch.”

I had to calm DeCarious down. I could never understand how someone could want to kill someone, but this woman—someone needed someone to do something to her. She was insane. I wanted to kill this bitch myself.

“Babe, just calm down. We are going to figure this out.” I couldn't help but think if he had never gone back to her none of this would have happened.

 

 

DeCarious had a meeting with his attorney and wanted me to accompany him, so I did. We came into the office and had a seat. He introduced me as his girlfriend. I knew they were probably thinking,
Aren't you still married?

“DeCarious, listen. This is going to hurt, buddy. But she has this attorney, and she is threatening all types of allegations. She asked for two point five million dollars to walk away.”

“Two point five million dollars? Is she crazy?” I said.

“Are you joking? I was married to her for two months. Does she really think I would give her a million dollars for every month that we were married?”

“No, it is a game, but they have to start high and we are going to have to meet them in the middle. Around one million.”

“What? That's too much money. You said I would only have to give her half of that.”

“I know. That's what we thought initially. But you have a contract extension on the table and you don't want her to find out about that. And she is saying you hit her and she has proof. She said something about voice mail messages that they will release to the media. And we just don't walk that path at all. It would be a public relations nightmare. The league just doesn't need this. Think about your franchise, team, and fans.”

“But it is not true.”

“It doesn't matter, DeCarious. I've been trying to keep this negotiation a secret, but as soon as you sign this new deal and you are still legally married to her . . . then she can ask for half. You have to get out of this marriage as soon as possible.”

T
hanks to God I had all my children, and my Kevin back. We were taking things slow, but I was going to move back in with him. I think everything I've been through has made me more compassionate, understanding, and less judgmental.

I wanted to meet with Adrienne. I had been so evil to her, and she didn't deserve it. She is lost and confused and she needs someone to help her. I had to let her know that I didn't blame her about everything that happened to me in my life. At first I was going to call her, but I decided I was going to visit her in person. I called her and asked if she was available for lunch.

“What's up, Adrienne? What are you doing?”

“Just leaving my lawyer's office. Why? What's up?”

“I wanted to meet up with you.”

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. I think we have a lot that we need to discuss and just need to meet up face-to-face.”

“I'll let you know,” she said.

That didn't sound very promising. I really wanted to talk to her. I wasn't sure where she lived. “Adrienne, I just wanted to let you know I forgive you. I am sorry I blamed you for everything. You were only being a friend. You thought that was the best thing to do at that time. I don't know why all this happened, but I know it has made me stronger. I don't blame you. You gave me advice and I took it. It is not your fault.

“But since I've been through all this, I feel like I have to tell you. You have your life—don't waste it. I feel like I wasted so much time. You have your health and you are beautiful. You have a healthy, beautiful child, so you need to stop playing with your life. I'm so serious. Stop playing with your life.”

“Tanisha, thanks, but no thanks. I get it, but please don't tell me how and what I should think. I love DeCarious and I want to be with him. If he doesn't want to be with me, then I am entitled to whatever he has.”

“One day you will wake up. You can't do dirt and stay clean.”

I
t's been a few weeks since the baby died. Everyone keeps telling me I will get over it, but I haven't yet. I keep thinking about the plans I made that included the baby. Jabril is doing fine. He just said he was going to get me pregnant again, but I don't want to ever get pregnant again. I never want to go through all this heartache and pain ever again.

Since I came home from the hospital I haven't been able to do anything. Jabril has been there for me and is trying. But I'm a wreck. Every time he is about to leave to go anywhere I start crying and I don't know why I feel like a baby, but I just do. I just feel so sad, like I don't want to move on. My phone was ringing, but I didn't want to talk to anyone, but since it was Elena, I answered.

“What are you doing? I haven't heard from you,” she said.

“I lost the baby. I'm not pregnant anymore.”

“Oh no, chica. You okay?” Elena asked, her voice getting elevated.

“No, I feel like shit. I just want to die. I swear I just want to die.”

“No, don't say that. You don't mean that.”

“Yes, I do mean it. Every night I just get up and think my life would be so much better if I wasn't here. I actually think of how I'm going to do it.”

“Do what, Zakiya? Stop talking crazy.”

I started sniffling. “Elena, I'm so not playing. I don't have anything to live for. I can't even have a baby, right? All women can have children. I'm worthless.”

“You're not worthless, Zakiya.”

“Yes, I am and Jabril hates me. Do you know how much Jabril hates me?”

“He doesn't hate you. Where are his uncle and mom?”

“They're not here. I don't like his dumb-ass uncle anyway. I think he is happy my baby died. You should have seen the smirk on his face when I first came home. I'm just tired. I'll call you later.”

After I hung up, I walked into the bedroom. I was really done with life. I just wanted to die and be with my baby and my mom. I couldn't wait to see them.

W
hen DeCarious tried to call me, I had three words for him: Call my attorney. Then I turned my phone off. I didn't have time for him. He had his chance to make a deal with me. He wanted to do it his way, so now he would pay. So he wouldn't talk to me. I guess he figured that he would have his mama do his dirty work for him because Miss Anne was ringing my phone. I answered the phone like,
I don't want to talk to you, either, bitch.

“Yes, Miss Anne.”

“Hi, Adrienne. How's Asia?” This bitch ain't called me in forever. Now she wants to ask about her granddaughter?
Get to the point,
I thought.

“She's good. What's up, Miss Anne?”

“Adrienne, I was just calling to talk to you. I have to be honest with you. I don't like what's going on with you and DeCarious. Either y'all going to be together or not. But either way, y'all gonna have to find a way to come to some type of agreement without anyone getting hurt.”

“Miss Anne, you need to tell your son that. I have been trying to work things out with him. And he is the one who doesn't want to compromise. I didn't want a divorce—he does.”

“Okay, then maybe you can come down here and you two can sit and talk.”

“No, it's too late, Miss Anne. I'm done.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I am. No one is thinking about me or really concerned about Malaysia. So I'm done talking. I will see him in court.”

“Okay, Adrienne, if that's the way you want it. I just don't understand why it has to end angry. You both have to do what's best for Asia. One more thing—if you continue to work out of greed, Adrienne, everything around you will collapse. I guarantee you.”

“Miss Anne, I have to go.” She could give that same tired speech to her son. I wanted at least a million dollars, which wasn't a lot if he wanted me to sign the annulment papers.

 

 

I drove down to my attorney's office. She said she had some good news for me. I walked into her office. Her receptionist offered me something to drink. I was too nervous to drink anything. He was on the computer checking e-mails. He said that Ms. Byrne would be out shortly. She came right out and said, “Come in, Mrs. Simmons.” I had a seat and Ms. Byrne stood up and then walked to her window and opened the blinds, letting more sunlight inside her office. She walked back over to her desk and leaned on the edge and said, “I just had a conversation with your husband's attorney. Apparently they just want this to be over with, and want to settle.”

“Really? For how much?”

“Five hundred thousand, and I think their offer is more than reasonable, Mrs. Simmons.”

“You do?” I asked, confused. “Ms. Byrne, what about all you said about wanting to get the media involved and asking for two million but getting at least a million out of the deal?”

“Well, he has hired the best attorney in the state of Georgia, and he is licensed in Pennsylvania, and they are going to draw this thing out so long that by the time you receive any money, your legal bills will eat a large percentage of the money. If we have to go before a judge, the first thing they are going to ask you is why aren't you working? What is wrong with you? You have a college degree and are perfectly able.”

“But we already knew all this.”

“We did, but as I reviewed everything, I think this is your best option.”

“But you said that I could get the house and would walk away with at least half of what he is worth. He is worth way more than a million dollars.”

“I did say that, but let me ask you this, Mrs. Simmons. Are you employed right now? You'll say no, and then the next question will be, What's wrong with you? You have a college degree and are perfectly able. Then his attorney may say that you are able bodied and you just don't want to work. They are going to dig up dirt and try their best to make you appear like a gold digger.”

“But I'm not a gold digger.”

“I know you are not, and I know you just want what's best for your daughter. However, the court may not see it that way. Ultimately, it is your decision. However, I say take the money. It will be a good nest egg for your daughter and yourself.”

“I don't want to settle. I want to make sure me and his daughter are secure. What are they offering in child support?”

“Let me look,” she said as she walked back over to her desk and looked on her computer screen.

“Sixty-five hundred per month, and that includes day care and nanny expenses.”

“That's it. No. He is worth way more than that. No, absolutely not.” DeCarious and his lawyer were really crazy if they thought that they could get over on me like this. I looked at her, tears almost coming out of my eyes. “This is crazy. No, I don't agree. I won't accept.”

“Think it over and I will give his attorney a call on Monday and see if they want to come up with something better.” I said okay as I exited her office. I was really upset with her. I expected so much out of her. What happened to all that gangster talk she was talking in the beginning? I was frustrated as hell. I walked down Walnut Street to the parking garage and gave the attendant my ticket. As I waited, the only thing that came to mind was maybe I should fire Ms. Byrne. I didn't want to, but how could she think that bowing down to DeCarious and his attorney was acceptable? What happened to everything she promised me—the media, the house, etc.

I didn't have any change so the attendant brought me my car and all I could say was thank you. I drove angrily down Twentieth and headed toward the Parkway. I saw a strange number appear on my phone with an area code I didn't recognize. I didn't have time for any surprises, so I did not answer. And then the number called again. I Googled the area code 323 at the next light on my phone. It was Los Angeles, California.
Who do I know there?
I thought,
If they call back I will answer.
When the phone rang again, I didn't give the person a chance to say hello before I shouted out, “Who is this?” I was not in the mood for games.

“Hi, this is Elena, Adrienne.”

“Who?”

“Elena—Zakiya's friend from Los Angeles.”

“Oh, she is not with me. She is in Oklahoma. If she calls I will tell her that you called.”

“That's not what I called for. I just spoke with her and she doesn't sound so good.”

“Well, Zakiya is very sensitive and you know pregnant women go through it. She'll be all right. When I talk to her, I'll tell her you called.”

“You know about her losing the baby, right?”

“No, when?” I asked.

“She had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and is really upset.”

“Oh no, I didn't know that. Let me call her now.”

“Now, that's why I was calling, because when I talked to her she didn't sound too good. And now her phone is off, but I'm trying to reach her. I haven't talked to her in a few hours and I'm getting scared.”

“Why? What do you mean, she didn't sound good?”

“She just seemed real depressed and kept saying she didn't want to leave the hospital without the baby, but they made her leave and she was crying and crying. Then she said she was going to call me back.”

“Okay, I'm going to try to get in touch with her. I'll call her and Jabril.”

“When you get in touch with her, can you call me back?” she asked. I told her I would and began trying to reach Zakiya. I felt bad. She had called me a couple of times and all she wanted to talk about was the stupid comments on the Web sites and blogs. I should have answered, but I didn't know she was going through all of this. I called her, the phone rang and rang, and then she picked up the telephone. She sounded awful.

“What's going on with you, Zakiya? Why do you sound like that?”

“Adrienne, I just can't take it anymore.”

“Huh? Where are you at? Where is Jabril?”

“I'm sitting in the nursery and Jabril is not here because he left—because he hates me.”

“He doesn't hate you.”

“Yes, he does, and I'm just done. I can't take it anymore.”

“What are you saying, Zakiya? What do you mean?”

“I mean . . . Why me, Adrienne? Why me?” she sobbed.

“Stop crying, Zakiya. It is going to be okay.”

“I can't. I try to stop crying, but I can't. I keep thinking about my baby son. He was going to be here soon. I had so many plans for us. His name was going to be Jabril Smith the second, and we were going to be a family. And now he is not here and I miss him, and I never got to hold him, Adrienne. I want my baby. They wouldn't let me bring him home. They said he couldn't come home with me. I want my baby. I don't want to live without my baby.”

I was at a loss for words. I should have called her back sooner, but I had so much going on in my life. Instantly I felt bad. I didn't know what to say. She sounded crazy.

“Zakiya, I'm so sorry about the baby, but it wasn't the right time. You have to calm down and think about what you're saying. You don't mean any of this.”

“I do mean it. I mean it all. You even said it, Adrienne. That I was having a boy. His first son—that was special. And I went back on that Web site and they said my baby had died, and I was ugly and fat and couldn't carry a baby.”

“Forget that Web site. You'll get pregnant again.”

“No, I won't. I never want to have a baby again. I never want to leave this house again. I don't care anymore. I hate my life. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Adrienne.”

“Zakiya!” I screamed into the phone. But she had clicked the phone off. I kept calling her back and calling her back and she didn't answer. I was so scared. I couldn't get to Oklahoma. Why did she have to be so far away? I didn't know what to do. When I got home I called her back on my house phone and she answered. I knew I had to calm her down and talk some sense into her.

“Zakiya, listen. I want you to talk to me. I don't want you to do anything stupid.” I had her on the speakerphone and texted Elena for her to call the Oklahoma City police and tell them to send a cop over, that I had her on the phone and I was going to try to keep her on the line. She texted me back “Okay.”

“I just want all this pain to end. I'm in a lot of pain. I don't feel good. I don't want this pain anymore, Adrienne. I want to see my mom. I miss my mom.”

“No, Zakiya, listen to me. Please don't do anything to yourself. You hear me?” She didn't say anything. “Are you listening to me? God has a plan for all of us. And I don't know, maybe he knew you weren't ready and he wanted to give you a little more time.”

“Adrienne, I can't go on no more. He is not paying any attention to me. I was just the person that was having the baby, and now the baby is gone. I feel empty,” she cried. “I'm going to leave, and as a matter of fact, I'm going to leave this world. Who cares? I'm not going to stay here anymore.” She wasn't making me mad but she wasn't listening. I was so upset.

“Zakiya, stop talking crazy. You have to stay around—your sister needs you. I need you. Okay, it's a bad time right now, but you will get through this, okay? I will come out there and visit, me and Asia.” She still wasn't responding . . . so I called out her name again. “Zakiya?”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing? Promise me you won't hurt yourself.”

“I can't promise you that. I'm just tired, Adrienne. I'm going to go to sleep forever. I never want to wake up.”

“Please don't do anything silly, Zakiya. Please, you got your whole life to live for.” I didn't know what else I could say or do to keep her from doing something to herself. “Zakiya, pray, okay?” As I told her to pray, I began praying to God. “Oh God, please don't let her hurt herself. Please, oh Lord, I beg you, please.” I got on my knees. I cradled the phone and tears streamed down my face. I was becoming sick with fear. I was feeling like she was about to kill herself and there was nothing I could do about it. I already envisioned myself at her funeral. I didn't want to be at her funeral—she was a good girl who didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve it. I called out her name several times. She wouldn't respond.

Elena texted back that the police were on their way. I just began praying again. I asked God to please not let her hurt herself, and asked Him to help her get over this setback. I tried to think of everything Miss Anne had told me and I just kept praying and praying that the police got there before Zakiya got to herself.