What's Life Without the Sprinkles? (16 page)

“We have an announcement to make,” Brad said, banging a plastic spoon against his plastic cup.

“That’s not very effective,” Peter said from the other side of the room.

Claudia’s gaze was drawn to him against her will. He was still a very good-looking man. He also had a magnetism that couldn’t be ignored, even if he had always been used to getting his way.

The conversation continued around them with all the adults jabbering away. Claudia put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. That stopped everyone in their conversational tracks. She smiled and waved a hand at May, grateful that, despite the magnetism, she felt nothing at all for Peter.

“Thanks, Claudia. I forgot you could do that.”

“No prob, May. I don’t get to use it often anymore.”

The small crowd laughed as Justin mumbled, “Yeah, right,” loud enough for everyone to hear.

Brad took the floor again and raised his plastic cup. “I’d like to thank all of you for coming. Today is a special day for more reasons than you know. Tell them, May.”

Eyes shining bright and hands clasped over her abdomen, May said, “We’re having a baby.”

Brad grabbed her up as if she weighed nothing and twirled her around while she laughed like a loon. Everyone crowded in to tell the soon-to-be parents how exciting this was. Claudia hung back for a moment so Brad’s parents could get to her first. And then May’s father rose from his chair to hug her. Claudia looked away for a moment, knowing that she might not make it through seeing such happiness when her own expecting news had been met only with anger almost eleven years ago. While this wouldn’t be Roger’s first grandchild, it would be the first to be a happy blessing from day one. As much as Roger now loved Justin, it wasn’t going to be the same situation. Everyone had been hoping May would get pregnant soon. And now she was.

Brad finally put May down when she threatened to throw up on him. Justin was yelling that this was fantastic because now they could all ruffle someone else’s hair, since there would be a new baby in the family. Zoe said something about not needing a dog now, and Claudia’s gaze caught on Peter’s.

That’s how it should have happened for her, too, all those years ago. Pregnancy was a wonderful thing. Bringing another life into the world was fantastic. But at eighteen and barely out of high school, she had known it wasn’t quite what her parents hoped for her. And then Peter turned away from her and continued to make his plans for college as if nothing earth-shattering had happened. She looked down at her shoes and swallowed back unexpected tears. She was so happy for May and Brad. They’d been trying for the last three years for a baby. No way was she going to ruin this for them by wishing anyone would have been this excited for her when she got pregnant.

Something drew her gaze back to Peter at that moment, and it was as if eleven years evaporated and left them able to read each other’s minds again, finish each other’s sentences. And if she wasn’t mistaken, he was regretting it, too.

Chapter Seven

“May, that was delicious. Thank you.” Claudia got up and started clearing paper plates and used plastic ware after they’d had cake and mimosas to celebrate the great news. May had just had a flute of orange juice.

“Here, let me help you with that.” Peter got up from the table and gathered his father’s plate, his own, and Brad’s.

Before she could protest, he led the way into the kitchen. Left with plates in her hands and a sinking feeling in her heart, she didn’t have much choice but to follow unless she wanted to look like an idiot by putting the plates back down and sitting in her chair like a petulant child.

But walking across the dining room and into the kitchen was the second hardest walk of the day. Zoe was caught in conversation with May and neither seemed to realize what had happened. Which left her to walk on her own.

Once inside the kitchen with the door gently swinging shut behind her, she placed the plates in the trash can and turned to go back out as quickly as she could. Peter caught her arm before she made it two steps from the trash.

“Claudia.”

She stared down at his hand on her arm. His tanned flesh looked odd against her winter-white skin. And yet that used to make them laugh. They’d compare how she never tanned to how he could be a burnished gold within days of summer starting.

The moment lasted too long with her continuing not to look up, but keeping her eyes on his hand.

He backed up. “Sorry.”

Finally she looked up at him and struggled to find some trace of the boy who had taken her virginity in the back of the Mustang he’d received from his dad before he went off to college and a career in business.

She waited for him to say more. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stood as still as she could and tried to mentally prepare herself for whatever it was he needed to say.

“That should have been how it was for you, and I should have been more mature.”

She didn’t move a muscle. Peter didn’t say he was sorry, and he certainly didn’t admit he’d done something wrong. “Should” didn’t mean shit to her. “What does that do for me?”

He dropped his gaze and seemed to have a great fascination with the tiles on the floor.

She hadn’t wanted to bring Justin up again. They’d talked enough earlier. As much time as she’d been willing to give the subject. She’d be just as happy if Peter decided not to try to see Justin again at all while he was here. And now she had to deal with the fact that he had seen him and was offering her something she’d never thought she’d get. “I asked you a question.” And she wasn’t budging until she got some answers.

He ran a rough hand through his perfect dark hair but wouldn’t look up.

She fought the ridiculous urge to bend down to make eye contact.

He saved her from embarrassing herself by finally looking up and piercing her with the eyes so like her son’s. “I should never have left the way I did or gotten angry at you for what I saw as you getting yourself pregnant and trying to ruin everything for me just when I was about to get started with my life.” His words came out haltingly and unsure. It was not reassuring.

“I didn’t do it on my own.” Why was she pursuing this conversation at all? She needed to move out of the kitchen, finish collecting trash, and take her son home where they could resume their own life.

“I know that. Your mom pulled me aside earlier and asked me not to interfere in your lives since you’ve been doing fine on your own. She said he may look like me, but he’s nothing like me as a person. That he already has more honor at ten than I ever did.”

Oh, that probably had gone over like a fly in the cake batter. “And?” She couldn’t help it. There had to be more, and she needed to hear it.

“And I didn’t really say anything to her. I didn’t know what to say. I can’t believe how much he looks like me.”

“He does look a lot like you.” She tried to make a joke and take back control of the conversation. “How is it that I did all the work, and he looks nothing like me? Shouldn’t I have at least gotten a nose or a chin for all my efforts?”

He put his hand on her arm again, and her weak laughter stopped in mid-ha.

“You shouldn’t have had to do it all by yourself. I know that now. And I want to make it up to you.”

She took a step back, breaking the contact, but coming up against the wall. If he came any closer, she’d have nowhere to escape. “There’s nothing to make up, Peter. He’s a great kid and my pride and joy.” She couldn’t help it if she’d put more emphasis on the word “my.” But she did feel a slight pang in her chest when he winced.

“Yeah, your kid.” His fingers speared through his hair again, and it stood up on end before he smoothed it. “Anyway, I would like to make it up to you. I didn’t even pay you child support, and you never asked for anything.”

She didn’t need anything from him. It was on the tip of her tongue to say so, but he was still talking.

“I was a horrible person. I should have stayed. I should have done a lot of things I didn’t do.” Backing up, he rested his rear end on the butcher block but didn’t break eye contact. “Isn’t this where you berate me and tell me how horrible things have been and what an unmitigated jerk I am?”

“No, actually, this is where I tell you that I adore Justin with everything I have and if I had it all to do over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love him. He’s my whole world. He’s a joy when he’s not being a typical boy, and he’s smart. Your money or your guilt won’t change any of that.”

The kitchen door creaked open and Zoe peeked her head in.

“Go away,” Claudia said when her sister opened her mouth. “I’ve got this.”

The door creaked back closed after Zoe shot Peter one last evil eye.

“Your sister doesn’t like me very much.”

“She has nothing to do with this conversation. You wanted to talk about Justin. Let’s talk about Justin.”

He pulled at the collar at his throat. “I don’t know if I want to talk about Justin. I only wanted to tell you I realize I made a mistake, and I’m sorry for not being there for you and him.”

Here was a moment she could back down from or take as an opportunity. She took the opportunity because she didn’t know if she’d ever get another like it. He seemed so open right now, and he was never a very open kind of guy. Witness ten years of silence. “It’s not the money or not being here that was the problem. I knew you had your whole future planned out, and a kid thrown into the mix didn’t sit well with your dad.”

“He—”

“No, let me finish.” She drew a deep breath and fought swatting him with her hand. Why did everyone always want to interrupt her? “The bigger part was cutting yourself off altogether. I’ll admit I might not have been open to anything when Justin was first born and you left, but you could have come back and tried again. There are plenty of fathers out there who are only peripherally involved in their child’s life, and you could have been one of them.” She zeroed in on him. “It wasn’t easy for me, but I’m not going to let you waltz in and start taking over things now.”

May popped into the kitchen and ignored Peter’s raised eyebrows. “Claudia, I need you back out in the living room. Zoe’s about to go kamikaze on Brad’s friend Dex, who just showed up, and you’re the only one who can calm her down. She’s muttering something about pruning him, and it doesn’t look good.”

Claudia sighed, knowing the conversation with Peter was over and she probably wouldn’t have a chance to get back to it. But at least she’d been able to get her remarks in. It had gone better than she could have hoped. She’d have to settle for that. For now.

“Lead the way. God knows she can’t seem to handle herself right now with the whole Casanova thing.”

****

After calming down Zoe and sending her upstairs for a timeout until the infamous Dex left, Claudia had an overwhelming urge to find Nate. May had said he was going to be here a little late, and Claudia sure could use him now. As if she’d conjured him, he strode in through the back door.

His light hair was swept back from his forehead. The wind followed him in and stirred the air in the kitchen. He looked like salvation and yumminess all wrapped in one.

Something snapped inside her, an elemental something that told her to stop pussyfooting around and go after what she wanted. With that in mind, she strode right up to him and grabbed his arm.

But she faltered at the pitying smile on his face when she got so close. After years and years together, virtually in each other’s pockets, she knew each and every expression his face could twist itself into—from happy to silly, from mad to totally pissed. They all held subtle differences, but she could tell. And this one said he knew things were hard having Peter here and he was by her side. He’d help her through this as he had every other thing in her life. But she didn’t want to lean on him. She didn’t want him to think of her as a helpless person who needed him to save her. She wanted him to think of her as an independent woman who wanted his hot body.

She tried to wrap a hand around his wrist to bring it to her lips and kiss his palm, but he patted her head instead and gave her that smile again.

She almost gave in to the childish urge to step on his foot. But that wasn’t going to further her cause, either. Taking a deep breath, she centered herself while trying to remember what Zoe had said about flirting. It was lowering to have to take her younger sister’s advice, but if it worked Claudia would just claim it as her own inspiration.

She sidled up to him, ran a hand up the buttons of his shirt and gave him a sultry wink when he glanced down at her. She ignored the baffled look on his face and soldiered on. She was going to see this through even if it killed her libido.

Justin chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. He took one look at Claudia wrapped around Nate, snickered, and ran back out.

Nate stiffened under Claudia’s hand, but she wasn’t letting go. She figured she had about twenty seconds before someone came rushing in to see if she really truly was clinging to Nate like a vine.

So she took advantage of her small amount of time and boldly laid her lips right on his. Let him try to offer her first aid for that.

****

Nate stood stock still for a moment while the warmth of Claudia’s lips heated to scalding. Her tongue probed the seam of his mouth, trying to gain entrance. The feel of her pressed against him flamed through his blood and would have set him back on his ass if he hadn’t grabbed onto her hips with both hands, sinking his fingers into the flesh there and feeling the rasp of her dress against the calluses on his palms.

She drew him in, and he forgot who precisely he was kissing in the meeting of their lips, the wild feel of her in his arms. For a second she was just a woman, not a mother, not his best friend, not the girl he’d stood by all those years ago when she was pregnant. A woman who was making him forget every thought in his head. But then it all came back to him in an excruciating instant, and his fingers pushed instead of pulled, trying to get away instead of holding fast.