When I Find You: A Trust No One Novel (26 page)

“Walker, please . . .”

The tears that rimmed her eyes were his undoing. At that moment, he would have gladly given her anything. “God, Darcy, do you have any idea how beautiful you are? Do you know what you do to me?” He rose stiffly and stepped away. Even with a hangover, she turned him on, his body tensing and hardening until he ached for want of her. After a moment of silence, he chuckled and sat again, this time in a chair near the bed. “I think a change of subject is in order, before I start something neither one of us is in good enough shape to finish.”

“I’m sorry. Please tell me what I did wrong so I won’t do it again.” The misery in her eyes tore at his heart.

“That’s the problem. I can’t find one . . . single . . . thing . . . you do wrong.” He forced a smile. “Except maybe tying my hands when it comes to protecting you from Johnny.”

“Do you still want to go with me?”

“I’m not likely to change my mind about that.”

“Good, because I want you to go.”

He studied her suspiciously. “Why the sudden change of heart?” Walker wanted this so badly—now that he had it, he couldn’t believe his luck.

“When I thought about going without you, with just Cooper, it felt wrong. I think I’d almost rather not go at all.”

“I’d rather you not go, too, but the next best thing will be me going with you.”

“You promised he won’t know you’re there.”

“He won’t—you’ve got my word.”

“Cooper won’t like it.”

“Yeah—I want to be there when you tell him.”

W
ALKER AWOKE SENSING
movement in the room and instinctively reached for his gun as he glanced at the bedside clock. Three thirty. He relaxed as soon as he noticed Darcy wasn’t in her bed and the light was on in the bathroom. Laying his head back against the chair, he stretched his long legs out in front of him and waited for her to appear. The oversized armchair wasn’t the most comfortable place he’d ever slept, but over the years he’d grown accustomed to sleeping almost anywhere.

She turned out the light before she opened the door and, in the pale moonlight, he watched her. She had donned a long-sleeved flannel top that hugged her torso and stopped about six inches short of meeting her bikini underwear. He tensed as he shored up his resolve not to lose control. She glided slowly across the room, bypassed the bed, and came straight for him.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He forced his gaze away from the exposed skin of her stomach.

“Hey, yourself. You’re awake. I thought I’d have to wake you.”

“What’s wrong?”

She stood directly in front of him. Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight as she moved closer and straddled his legs, placed her knees on either side of him in the chair, and slid slowly onto his lap. Desire shot through him on contact, and he automatically raised his hips to meet hers, grabbed her around the waist, and held her against him. In an instant, he was in serious danger of losing control, breathing hard, tensed and ready.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“If you don’t know, I mustn’t be doing it right.” Her voice, soft and seductive, whispered in his ear.

“If you’re trying to make me lose the last ounce of restraint I’ve got around you, you’re doing it right, but you need to know if that happens, there’s no turning back.”

Her eyes never left his as she slid farther onto his lap. Silky fingers smoothed the front of his shirt and then encircled his wrists where he still held her waist.

“I touch . . . you don’t.” When she tugged at his hands, he allowed her to move them from her waist to the arms of the chair. She hummed softly, moved her body against his in time to the melody she created, and leaned forward to kiss his neck, his chin, his lips, and rub her chest teasingly against his, nudging the edge of her top farther up with each undulation.

Walker had a death grip on the arms of the chair, and he gritted his teeth to the point of pain in order to keep some sense about him, even though where she sat and rubbed against him seemed to have a mind of its own. Her inexperience was obvious, but what she lacked in knowledge, she more than made up for with sheer sex appeal. Within seconds, he was rock hard and ready to test the constraints she’d put on him. There was a reason he didn’t usually frequent establishments that provided this type of entertainment. He wasn’t good with rules, and the unspoken no-touching rule tripped him up every time.

When she leaned in to him again and twined her arms around his neck, he jerked himself up and out of the chair. Ignoring the pain in his side, he brought her up with him. His hands went beneath her thighs, forcing her to wrap her legs around him. She gave a small cry of surprise, which he muffled when his mouth covered hers.

“My turn.” He walked to the bed and let her down gently. Sliding both hands up her sides, he lifted the edge of her top and caressed her soft, satiny skin. The ache grew within him. In one motion, he pulled the flannel top off over her head and a groan came from deep in his chest.

“You’re beautiful.” His fingers trailed along her collarbone as he memorized every inch of her. When his gaze met hers again, he recognized the doubt there. Anger flared at Robby and everyone else whose cruel actions made her think she wasn’t good enough. If it was the last thing he did, he’d convince her of her worth. He lay down beside her and claimed her lips again.

Her taste, her smell of fresh clean soap, and the feel of her skin beneath the palm of his hand gave him a rush of possessiveness so strong he trembled. He touched her breasts gently, almost reverently, the nipples hardening at his caress. His hands explored every part of her, dipping beneath the lace of her white panties, causing her to cry out in breathless pleasure at his touch. His kisses laid claim to her, branded her. The thought of another man lying with her like this almost drove him crazy with jealousy.

He wanted her like he’d never wanted any other woman, but he couldn’t have her except for tonight . . . for now . . . for this moment, and it was within his power to make her want him just as much. What she’d suffered through with Robby had been excruciating and humiliating, and Walker wanted to erase the memory from her mind. This would be the first time anyone made love to her, and he wanted it to be perfect. That she trusted him was both humbling and empowering.

He pushed himself away from her, stood, and removed his clothes while a sexy smile played on her lips. He slid her lace panties down her graceful legs and tossed them on top of his pile of garments, then knelt over her, drinking in her beauty until she reached for his hand and tugged him down beside her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, meeting his lips with urgency, as though passion had broken free from its deep hiding place within her. He caressed her soft, sweet body, his hands making her cry out and writhe beneath him. He teased her hardened nipples with his tongue, licking and nibbling.

When she moaned and kissed his neck, his control began to waver. He pushed himself up once more, foraged through his clothes until he found his wallet, and pulled out a small, foil-wrapped packet. She lay propped up on one elbow, all seriousness as though he performed some mysterious ritual. He had to remember this was all new to her. What must she think of a man who carried condoms in his wallet . . . ready at a moment’s notice? Something stirred at the fringes of his memory—something he hadn’t dealt with in a long time. Shame—that a man who made his living with guns and explosives would presume to want her—with an ache so pervading his knees threatened to give out. He should walk away and leave her with her purity intact, but he wasn’t strong enough . . . and he sure as hell wasn’t noble enough. When he met her gaze and she crooked her finger at him in invitation, he was powerless to do anything but return to her side. Then he parted her legs and moved between them.

“I can’t believe I’m asking this, but are you sure this is what you want?” The words came out in a groan as he held himself off her, braced by his two arms.

“Shut up, Walker.” She rose up to meet him, looping her arms around his neck.

“I should warn you that once probably won’t be enough.”

The tiniest smile appeared on her lips. “Is that a problem for you?”

“Not for me . . . but it is over and above the terms of our agreement.”

“Shut up, Walker.”

He laughed softly as he lowered her down until she was lying on the bed again and his body covered hers. A shiver rippled through her as he held her gaze and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. It wasn’t fear that made her tremble. Trust shone from her eyes, and it humbled him that she was able to trust anyone—least of all him. Tenderness welled up from some long hidden place within him.

He kissed and sucked at one breast while flicking his thumb over the other until she mewed and arched her body against his. He dropped gentle kisses on her eyes and lips, then as his self-control dissolved, captured her mouth with desperate hunger. Her mouth was so sweet and warm as his tongue tasted every square inch. He had to have her. He couldn’t wait another minute.

Tracing a path down her sides, over her hips to the back of her thighs, he lifted her until she wrapped her legs around him. He laced his fingers with hers and placed them beside her head on the pillow. The trust in her eyes never wavered as he pushed inside her. He held himself still within her, reveling at how tightly she sheathed him. As soon as he released her hands, she gripped his shoulders, her fingernails digging in, adding to the sensations coursing through him.

He kissed her long and tenderly. “You’re amazing. I may never get enough of this.” He whispered the words next to her ear, sensing the futility in his statement.

She smiled a sexy, sultry little smile, and he kissed her again, then began to slide in and out, a slow, easy rhythm. They met thrust for thrust until Walker was wild with need. Escalating in speed and urgency, he brought Darcy to the edge and she cried out his name, gripping him with arms and legs. His last few thrusts sent him over the top as well, and he collapsed on her, sated and happier than he could ever remember being.

Chapter Seventeen

W
AKING WITH HIS
warm chest snug against her back, his arm draped over her possessively, Darcy quickly moved this day to the top of her best-days-ever list. She smiled lazily as Walker trailed his fingers up her torso to her breast and nipped playfully at her neck. His soft beard tickled her, and the resulting sensation sent a tingle all the way to her feet.

“Mornin’. I didn’t think you’d ever wake up.” He flicked his thumb back and forth across her already hardened nipple, sending shards of longing through her. She moaned and he rolled her over, covering her mouth with his. He smiled when he raised his head.

“Aren’t you tired?” She smiled at the memory of their lovemaking throughout the early morning hours. He’d awakened incredible, joyous pleasures within her she hadn’t known existed, and she’d responded with eager recklessness. She had no fear of this man and apparently no shame either. Surely everyone would know she’d had sex just by looking at her. She would never be the same again.

“Tired of this? Surely you’re joking.” His hand traveled downward across her stomach as he held her gaze, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

The sensations were so strong and immediate it almost hurt to keep them inside. She was ready again, in desperate need of the release only he could give her. Bending her knee, she trailed her foot over his calf to his thigh, where he caught her leg and shifted her beneath him. This time, as they reached the pinnacle together, tears filled her eyes and she clung to him, not wanting him to see and guess the reason.

It was foolish, but there was no help for it. She was in love with him. Watching him walk away would be the hardest thing she’d ever have to do, but she’d promised she wouldn’t expect anything more, and she’d die before she broke that promise. She blinked back the tears and composed her face into a smile as he rolled off her and pulled her into a tight embrace. He started to say something, but his cell phone rang from his pile of clothes on the floor. He kissed her and went to answer the phone.

“Joe? What’s up? Sure. Yeah. Give me ten minutes.” He dropped the phone on the nightstand and lay down beside her again.

“I told Joe I’d go for a run with him this morning. It’ll take me two minutes to dress. That leaves us eight. What would you like to do?”

Darcy laughed at his hopeful expression, but her smile died on her lips. “We’ll have more time—right? You’re not leaving yet?”

A guarded look came into his eyes as he grew serious. “We’ll have time. We need to talk.”

“We’ll talk when you get back.” She forced a smile. “Thanks . . . for last night.” The heat rose in her face but she kept her gaze fixed on his.

“Are you kidding? Last night was incredible. You’re incredible.” He kissed her hard before standing and pulling on his pants. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Cara is in the room beyond mine if you need her.” He kissed her one more time, obviously reluctant to leave.

Her smile came easier this time as she told him good-bye.

Darcy wasn’t looking forward to their talk. How would she ever get through it? He’d remind her he was all wrong for her—too much older than her and too worldly and that she promised she wouldn’t make him sorry he allowed her in his bed. Her head had all of his arguments memorized, but her heart was having trouble keeping up.

She flung the covers aside. Staying here and feeling sorry for herself all day wouldn’t change anything. Rolling out of the bed, she grabbed the oversized shirt she’d taken from the closet downstairs. She slipped into it and pulled fresh clothes from the bag Cara had left with her. Clean clothes were getting scarce, probably for Walker too. Today was as good a day as any to do laundry. That would give her something to keep her mind off Walker’s little talk. She showered, dressed, and went downstairs.

Coffee was brewing when Cooper knocked on the back door. He burst into the kitchen as soon as she turned off the alarm and opened the door.

“There you are. Are you ready?” The deputy breathed hard and his gaze skittered around the room.