When I'm Gone (12 page)

Chapter 22-September 11, 2001; 6:30 a.m. (Claire)

“I love Michael,” I sang as I moved about my room. I threw on my leather jacket and sat down on my bed. I pulled my legs up to my chest and tied the laces of my Chucks. I ran a hand through my unruly hair and shrugged. It would have to stay that way for the day.
I walked out of my room and knocked on Alex’s door. There was a crash and a muffled yelp right after wards.
“Alex?” I called. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” came the muffled response. The door swung open and Alex was on his knees rubbing the back of his head.
“What happened?” I wondered, trying not to laugh.
“I slipped in my bathroom, after you knocked and hit my head on the floor. It hurt too,” he grumbled. “Thanks a lot, sis.”
“Sorry, bro,” I apologized and ruffled his hair. He scowled and started to shut the door.
“Can I finish getting ready?” he asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice
.
“Go ahead,” I told him. He grinned and closed the door. I turned around and noticed a piece of paper by the front door. I skipped over to the door and picked up the paper. I flipped it over in my hand smiling at the sight of my name on the front. I opened it and my smile grew.
Hey Claire.
Dinner tonight?
See you at seven.
Love, Michael
Laughing, I refolded the note and stuck it in my back pocket. I walked into the kitchen where I grabbed an apple from the counter. I bit into thinking about Michael’s note.
I wonder where he is taking
me?
I thought, smiling wryly to myself. Or is he going to cook dinner this time? He said that he is a really good cook. Hm.
I finished my apple and tossed it in the trash. I shuffled around the kitchen for a minute until I realized that I had nothing left to do. I picked up my cell phone from the table and dialed a number I knew by heart.
“Hello?” A woman picked up the phone, her tone business-like.
“Mom,” I replied warmly.
“Hey, Claire,” she exclaimed. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. How is teaching? Didn’t you guys start yesterday?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “And I love teaching. My students are so sweet and not at all snobby like I thought they would be.”
“That’s good, honey. How’s Alex?” Her tone was cautious, hoping to not cross a boundary line.
“He’s good,” I chattered happily. “He has a girlfriend now and they are both in my first period class. I really like her mom. I think you would too.”
Her voice instantly warmed and she laughed. “I’m sure I would.”
“How are you mom? How is your job going?”
I
aasked
curiously.
“Great,” she cooed. “I am actually in D.C. right now on a business trip. It is so pretty here. I have
already visited the White House.”
“That’s cool,” I replied. “Did you see the president there?”
“No,” she laughed at my teasing. “He is down in Florida right now at an elementary school.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Did you need something, honey?” she asked, concern masking her voice. I chuckled and shook my head even though she couldn’t see me.
“No thanks mom,” I said. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Well, thanks, Claire,” she cooed again. “How are you? I mean, you as a person.”
“I am really good. There is something you should know though,” I paused.
“What is it?” Anxiety colored her voice.
“I kind of, maybe, sort of have a boyfriend. And I sort of love him,” I explained. On the other end on the phone, my mom laughed; loud and mockingly.
“Claire, how can you sort of have a boyfriend and how can you sort of love him?” she managed. I
surpressed
a groan and smiled into the phone.
“I mean, I do love him. And yes, he is my boyfriend. We have been dating for a few days now,” I said.
“A few days?” she exclaimed. I cringed at her shrill voice. I hoped she wasn’t in a public place.
“Well it is actually a little more complicated than you think,” I told her
.
“Okay,” she sighed.
“Trust me?” I asked. She laughed again and I grinned.
“Always,” she replied.
“Good,” I said. Suddenly, Alex’s door opened and he walked out, glancing at me. He scrunched up his nose and shot a questioning look at me. I waved it off.
“Well, honey, I have to get going. I am going to the Pentagon today,” she blurted.
“Okay. Well, I have to go too. School starts in about an hour,” I answered.
“I’ll call you later, okay, mom?”
“Okay honey.
I love you!” she shouted.
“Love you too,” I whispered as the line went dead. I slipped the phone into my back pocket and turned to Alex
.
“Mom?” he guessed. I nodded and he shrugged. “I couldn’t talk to her?”
“She had to go. She had business at the Pentagon in a little while,” I explained. Alex dropped his gaze and shrugged again.
“Oh, okay,” he mumbled and walked off. I followed him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“She does love you, Alex,” I whispered. He shrugged out of my touch, but didn’t face me.
“Oh, I’m sure,” he shot back, sarcastically. I trapped him in a hug and he struggled to get free.
“She does,” I replied. “She asked about you.”
“She did?” He turned to me, his eyes lighting up. I nodded, smiling at him.
“Yep.
I told her about Hope and how you were. She seemed relieved to hear that you were okay.”
After saying that, Alex smiled slightly and tugged on my arm.
“Come on, sis-” he stopped. “I mean, Ms. Barnes. We have to get to school.”
“I’m coming. I’m coming,” I muttered and followed after him. I grabbed my purse
adn
walked out of the apartment, a nagging feeling tugging at the back of my mind.
----------------------------------------------
“Go see your girlfriend,” I told Alex as we walked through the courtyard. He glanced at me and smiled slightly.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, laughing nervously. I shoved him, causing him to stumble to the side.
“You made me come out here twenty minutes earlier than I need to be here and you say that you aren’t going to see Hope?”
“Um...,” he hesitated trying to think of an answer. I laughed
.
“That’s what I thought,” I teased. “Now, go.”
“Thanks Claire,” he called over his shoulder as he ran off. I could see Hope on the other side of the courtyard, waiting for him. He ran up and hugged her, visibly laughing. They bent towards each other, kissing quickly. Alex grabbed her hand and they walked off into the building.
Smiling to myself, I kept walking towards my classroom. I stopped by Lauren’s room, admiring the sign I had painted. I had given it to her yesterday afternoon and her reaction was not surprising at all.
I walked up to Lauren’s room, hesitating before knocking on the door.
“Come in,” Lauren shouted and I opened the door. She was on top of mini stage, fixing the curtains hanging on the sides. I cleared my throat, startling her. She turned towards me and a smile lit up her face.
“Hey,” I called out and waved the canvas in the air. Her smile could probably be seen from the courtyard.
“You finished it,” she exclaimed and jumped off the stage. Her hair was pulled into an unruly ponytail and she was wearing a pair of black pants with a cute red ruffled top. Her red flats echoed across the floor and bounced off the high walls.
“Just a few minutes ago,” I confessed and held it out to her. She took it a turned it around. She gasped, before clutching it to her chest. Tears welled up in her eyes and she smiled softly.
“This is the best thing anyone has ever made for me,” she murmured. “Thank you.”
She walked over and hung it up on her door, facing us. The dark red director’s chair stood out against the white background along with the black masks. Her name was written in loopy cursive in the top
righthand
corner. Right underneath her name were the words “Theater Class”
.
“It was no big deal,” I said. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me. “Really-
“Yes it was. Thank you, again,” she interjected. She wrapped her arms around me and enveloped me in a hug. I cautiously hugged her back and felt a tear slip down my cheek.
“Hey Claire,” Lauren shouted and knocked me out of my day dream. I peeked through the door. She was on her stage again, this time setting up a cluster of chairs. I waved at her and smiled.
“Hey Lauren,” I called back.
“Ready for the second day?”
“
Bring them on!” She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “I can take them.”
“I’m sure you can,” I shot back. I waved bye to her and walked away.
Once I got to my room, I stowed my purse in my desk and started to pull out the artwork from my first class from yesterday. I set them on the desk admiring them once again. Then, I pulled out my own canvas and set it on my easel. I gathered my black and red charcoal, setting them beside my canvas along with my other necessary tools.
Before I started, I pulled out my cell phone, pressing a number on speed dial. I waited until I heard the beep and left a quick message ending with an “I love you”.
I decided to start working on a drawing of the Twin Towers for my mom. I started out by sketching two large rectangles on the canvas. A few minutes later, I was lost in my own little world of art.

Chapter 23-September 11, 2001; 8:40 a.m. (Michael)

“Fifteen more, Herring.
Fifteen more,” Andrew yelled into my ear. I grunted, pushing the dumbbell above my face. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, running down my face.
“He can’t do it,” Seth called out. I stole a quick look at him. He stood a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest. He had a smirk on his face, and his eyes showed victory. I let it down and pushed it up again.
“He might,” Andrew said thoughtfully. I did another rep, my face turning red from exertion.
“He will never beat my record,” Seth replied with more force. For another three reps, everyone was silent, watching me push the 225 pound dumbbell up and down.
“127 is a hard record to beat,” someone shouted from the back. There were murmurs of agreement as I pushed it up again. For a few more reps it was silent; only the sound of my harsh breathing was audible.
Suddenly, a large plane flew overhead. It surprised me because there were warnings about flying next to the Twin Towers. You had to be a certain height and distance away from them. Every guy in the station paused and looked up at the ceiling.
“That’s way too low,” Andrew
murumured
.
A loud, but muffled explosion cut the silence around us and I set the dumbbell down.
“Yes! I won! I beat Michael Herring!” Seth exclaimed. Andrew hit him on the back of the head while following me
.
“Shut up, rookie,” he said over his shoulder and continued to follow behind me. I pushed out of the station door and
and
froze when I got outside. Everybody crowded around me and looked up into the sky.
“Oh, God no.
It-it can’t be. There is no way,” I whispered in agony.
The top half of one of the Twin Towers had a gaping hole in it. Smoke billowed out from it along with brilliant orange, red and yellow flames. People on the sidewalk were frozen, all of them pointing up at the sky.
All of New York City seemed to be holding its breath. It was like the disaster was too hard to believe that it was real. Cars swerved off the road, people getting out and holding each other. Pedestrians watched as more smoke flew through the air. Across the street, I watched silently as two ladies hugged each other and cried.
In an instant everybody sprung back to life and the sound was
defeaning
. People were screaming and crying, running away from the buildings. The
group of fire fighters around me were
stunned into silence as people
manuvered
around us.
“A plane......a-a plane flew into the North Tower,” a man screamed beside us. He looked over at us and then ran away. He didn’t even notice that all of his papers were flying out of his laptop bag.
What are we going to do? I wondered. That fire is too big.
I could faintly hear smaller muffled explosions as the upper floors caught on fire. The smoke was polluting the air by now; the sky was turning pitch black. I could feel the panic start to set in.
I didn’t know how we were supposed to put out a fire that massive.
That high off the ground.
Even with all of the fire departments in New York City, we still weren’t going to be able to put it out.
Another thought hit me. The plane was probably a passenger plane.
that
meands
that innocent people died. They had no idea what was going to happen to them that morning. I swallowed loudly and looked around.
I spotted Chief Parsons at the edge of the group, watching the disaster unfold. Andrew placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked over at him. His eyes were saddened and the corners of his mouth were turned down.
“What are we going to do?” he asked hoarsely. I shook my head and grimaced.
“It’s time for the big one,” I stated. Andrew nodded in agreement.
“It is, isn’t it?” he murmured, his voice still hoarse with shock. The chief cleared his throat and, surprised, we all turned to him expecting a long speech about how we are going to save lives
.
“Okay men. This is it,” Chief Parsons spoke up. “We are going to go inside and wait for our call. Today is going to be a
devestating
day for everybody. I don’t know how everything is going to turn out, but it will be okay, because we are going to be saving lives while we are at it. But, I am going to go ahead and say this: a lot of people will die today.”
“Come on guys,” I shouted over the noise and walked back into the station. The men followed me and soon, we were all crowded in the front hall. I sat down on the steps that led to the bedroom and placed my head in my hands.
“Michael.” I looked up to see Seth standing beside the stairs, looking down at me
.
“
Yeah?”
“
You need to call Claire. She is going to be worried sick,” he stated.
and
held up his cell phone. He started dialing and soon enough I could hear him talking to his girlfriend.
I pulled my own cell phone out of my pocket and flipped it open. I noticed that I had one new voicemail. I hit play and pressed the phone to
my hear
. Claire’s voice filled the phone and I listened carefully to her message.
“Hey Michael.
I just wanted to let you know that I am willing to go to dinner with you tonight. Have a great day. Oh, and please be safe. I can’t afford to lose you now. I love you.”
I checked the time; it had only been sent an hour ago. I moaned and pressed ‘recall’. Once again, I pressed the phone to my ear, wanting...no...
needing
to hear Claire’s voice again. It went straight to voicemail and I realized that she had a class. The voice recording lady came on and I pressed a button. I waited for the beep before speaking.
“Claire. Listen to me, everything is fine here. We haven’t been called in yet, but I know we will.
Soon.
I promise you that I will be
hime
in time for our dinner tonight. I’m going to be cooking. I-I love you, Claire. Talk to you soon.”
I pressed ‘end’ and slipped it back into my pocket. I laid my head on my knees and listened to the hysteria build up around me.
A few minutes later, Seth came back over and sat beside me. I glanced over at him, surprised to see tears glistening on his cheeks.
“You okay bud?” I asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He nodded
tensly
, thought for a moment and then shook his head. “What’s up?”
“What if we don’t make it today, Michael?” His voice cracked and he swiped at the tears on his cheeks. I sighed and watched him carefully. “I mean, that fire....it’s bigger than any fire any of us have been to before. This time...what if, this time we just don’t make it and we end up dying.”
He broke off, shuddering violently. Sobs racked at his chest and tears dripped off of his nose.
“Seth,” I said. I waited until he looked up at me before I continued. “Some of us won’t make it today. I know that sounds bad, but it’s true. Now, I don’t know who won’t make it, but I sure as heck know that we will all try to make it out alive. You don’t have anything to worry about. All we need to do is kick some fire butt and save some lives.”
“Aren’t you scared though?
of
never seeing your family again?
of
never seeing Claire again?” When he asked that last question, something inside of me snapped. My body tensed up and the blood drained from my face. It was the first time I had ever thought of never seeing Claire again. I didn’t know if I could go through with it.
“I am scared. I am scared half to death, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do my job. I love saving people and if it is to save someone’s life, then I will gladly risk mine,” I declared. Seth smiled underneath his tears and lightly punched my arm.
“Thanks Michael,” he said. “I feel a little bit better now.”
“No problem, Seth,” I shot back warmly. “Now let’s go see what’s going on. You head into the kitchen and I’m going to see the chief.”
“Okay. See you in a few,” he called out as he walked away. I made my way upstairs and down the hallway to a large wooden door. I knocked quickly, hoping for him to be in there.
“Come on in,” he yelled and I opened the door. Chief Parsons was sitting at his desk, rummaging through a stack of papers. Behind him was his ceiling to floor glass window.
I could see the North Tower still burning profusely in the background. I grimaced and turned back to the chief.
“What can I do for you Herring?” His voice was clipped and hurried, as if he was trying to push me out.
“I want to know if I can go home today,” I
sugeested
. The comment made him stop what he was doing and look up at me. I repeated, “I want to go home for the day.”
“Herring, that is crazy talk,” he exclaimed. “You can’t go home today. This is the worst day in history and you want to go home? Why?”
I took in a deep breath to steady myself. “
Becasue
, I have someone that I love. And I can’t lose her. Not today. Not now.”
“You think that we don’t love somebody at home too, son?” he asked. I quickly shook my head.
“Because we do.
Andrew has a wife and two kids. There are men down there with their own wives and kids. And what do you have?
A silly little crush.”
“
Claire isn’t a silly little crush,” I seethed, clenching my fists. Parsons watched me carefully before standing up from his chair, blocking me from the view of the tower. Part of me relaxed and the other part was still rigid with anger. “I love Claire. And I will do anything to stay with
her. I want to marry her someday, Chief.”
“Okay, but does she want to marry you?” he shot back. I felt my heart drop and he pointed towards the door. “Now you get your sorry little butt back downstairs and wait for orders.”
“Yes, sir,” I grumbled and turned to walk back downstairs. On the way out, I hit the door frame with my fist, causing the floor to shake. As I walked away, I could hear the chief mumbling to
himself
about something.
When I hopped off the last step, everybody was silent, watching me. I shrugged and stared back.
“There is nothing to look at,” I said and stomped off into the kitchen. Nobody followed me and I finally got to relax but only for a minute, because right after I closed my eyes, Seth ran into the room.
“We just got the call. It looks like we are going to be back-up,” he announced. I nodded numbly and closed my eyes again.
I was secretly relieved that I didn’t have to go at that instant. But that was before I heard the second explosion that knocked me off my chair.