When I'm Gone (14 page)

Chapter 26-September 11, 2001; 9:28 a.m. (Claire)

I reached out and grabbed the handle to my drawer. I yanked it open and pulled out my purse. I rummaged through it for a minute before producing my cell phone from its depths. I turned it on, tapping my foot impatiently.
The screen lit up and it showed that I had four new voicemails. Frantically I listened to them all. They were all from Michael. The first three were calm and his voice was soft and loving. But the fourth was the one
the
caught me off guard. I replayed it and listened to Michael’s voice fill my ears.
“Claire, we are about to be called in. I love you, baby,” his voice broke and he took in a shuddering breath. “I will be back, safe and sound, by seven tonight. Don’t worry. I promise you that everything will be fine.”
I fell into my desk chair and dropped my phone onto my desk. Surprisingly, the tears weren’t coming.
“He must be okay. I know he is,” I whispered violently. I shuddered and my hands clenched into fists.
Suddenly my phone rang and I snatched it off the table, flipping it open.
“Michael,” I murmured into the phone
.
“Honey,
it’s
mom.” My mother’s voice was frantic and I snapped to attention.
“Mom!”
I exclaimed. “Are you okay? How is everything?”
“It’s fine. I’m fine. They just order us to evacuate. I am standing about three miles away from the Pentagon. I keep waiting for something to happen, but so far nothing has.”
“Mom,” I whispered again in agony.
“Honey, how are you? I heard about
eveything
that is happening in New York. Are you safe? What’s going on there?” Her voice slipped up a notch and hysteria built in it.
“I’m safe. I am at school right now and we are watching everything on the television. Mom,
its
horrible,” I said. “There are people that are jumping from the towers. Jumping.”
“Oh, honey, I know it must be frightening-”
Suddenly everything went quiet and my mom whispered, “No.”
Just then, I heard an explosion through the phone and my mom screamed. I took in a sharp breath and looked at the television screen. The reporter was still on, giving updates. He paused mid-sentence and gasped.
“I have just been informed that the Pentagon has been hit, I repeat, the Pentagon has been hit. It appears we are under some sort of terrorist attack.”
“
Mom!”
I yelled into the phone. Some of my students gave me frightened looks and I frowned. I could hear harsh breathing from the other end.
“Mom!
Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she gasped. I felt relief flood through me. “The Pentagon was just hit by a plane too. It was the worst thing I have ever seen.”
“I’m glad you are away from it all,” I whispered.
“Me too,” she agreed. “Back to you though, how are you holding up about the Twin Towers?”
“Mom, Michael is in there,” I told her.
“Michael?” I could hear the confusion in her voice. I swallowed loudly before answering her.
“My boyfriend.
The one I love,” I explained. She gasped and I listened as she let out a sob.
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Does he work in the towers?” She asked. I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me.
“No, he is a firefighter,” I said. “And I don’t think he is going to get out alive.”
My voice cracked and I let a few tears fall onto the floor below me. My mom made a
tsking
noise with her tongue.
“I have always told you to stop being so pessimistic about everything,” she warned. “Now, I believe that he will come out alive and you will see him later tonight
.
“I really hope so, mom,” I replied, swallowing a sob.
“Don’t worry,” she cooed. “Now, I have to go. I have another call coming in. Love you.”
“Love you too,” I said and heard the click of the phone as she hung up. I placed the phone back onto the table and placed my head in my hands.
All of a sudden,
a pair of arms were
around me. I looked up into Alex’s face and choked out another sob. He frowned at me and placed his head on my shoulder. Suddenly, he froze and let out a breath.
“Mom,” he stated. I nodded through my tears and he stared at me in shock. “What happened to her? Is she okay? Please tell me she wasn’t in the Pentagon.”
“It’s okay,” I soothed. “She is completely safe. They evacuated her before it hit.”
Alex relaxed and took in a deep breath. I studied him carefully as he took a step away from me. The tears were not coming down his cheeks and I wasn’t surprised. Even though, this was the most devastating day in history. He stiffened again and glanced at me with
aprehension
.
“Michael?” he asked. I shook my head, letting more tears stream down my cheeks.
“He left four messages and they came in a few minutes ago. But I’m scared. I can’t lose him. Not now. Not when I have finally found what I have been missing. What if he doesn’t make it out alive? What if-” I stopped, unable to speak
anymore.
Alex placed a comforting hand on my shoulder
.
“It’s okay,” he told me. “Everything will be okay. You just have to believe it. Claire, he will come out alive and he will be at the apartment tonight. I promise you that.”
“
Promise?”
I repeated. He nodded and crossed his heart.
“Promise,” he declared and I immediately felt a little bit better. I knew Alex and he never broke his promises.
“Okay,” I said and slumped back into my chair.
I turned to watch the news and as I did, I could feel a memory tugging at the back of my mind.
One that I have remembered ever since I was that age.
It was the spring of 1988. I was only eleven years old.
One night, my dad had gone out to drink away his ‘sorrows’ as he called it. He claimed to be upset over the divorce between
he
and my mom. He left and I was at home alone with Alex, who was four at the time. I was doing my homework and Alex was coloring on a piece of paper
beside me.
“Claire?” he asked. I looked over at him and smiled. He had a stripe of red marker on his nose and his long dark hair was falling into his eyes.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
I cooed, setting down my pencil. He reached over and lightly touched the purple encircling my eye.
“What happened to your eye?” he asked curiously. I laughed tensely and hesitated. I never lied to my brother and he deserved to know the truth
.
“Daddy hit me,” I explained and forced another smile at him. Alex frowned at me and crossed his arms over his chest. He studied me for a moment before picking up his marker again. He started to color and I let out a sigh of relief.
I went back to working on my homework when Alex tapped my arm. I looked over at him, expecting him to ask about dinner. It was almost six and I could hear my stomach growling.
“I promise that I will keep you safe,” he declared. “I don’t want daddy to hit you again. You don’t look as pretty with the purple.”
I watched him silently for another minute, while tears welled up in my eyes. I set my pencil down again and reached over to him. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it gently.
“Thank you Alex,” I said and smiled warmly at him. He smiled his toothy grin back and pulled his hand out of mine.
“You’re welcome,” he replied and went back to coloring.
Later that night, I had tucked Alex into bed and was headed back to my room when I heard my dad come into the house. I froze in mid-step and listened as he stumbled into the kitchen. He made himself another drink and I rolled my eyes. The bar was never enough for him.
“CLAIRE,” he bellowed and my name echoed off the walls in the hallway. I shivered and backed up, trying to get to my room. His large frame filled my vision and I cringed into the corner of the wall.
He stumbled towards me and I could smell the alcohol rolling off his body in waves. I wrinkled my nose in distaste and curled my lip up
.
“Why wasn’t my stuff ready when I got home?” he asked, raising his voice. I glared up at him under my lashes.
“I was on my way to do it right now. You got home early,” I hissed. “And be quiet. You will wake up Alex. I just got him to go to bed.”
“Don’t you use that tone of voice with me young lady,” he slurred. “You don’t
wnat
another one of those eyes would you?”
“Do it if you dare,” I warned. He reared back and was about to lunge forwards when Alex stepped in front of me. My dad froze in his tracks and stared hard at him. My eyes were wide as I contrasted my brother’s toddler frame, with my dad’s bulky football player frame.
“Move son,” he said. Alex shook his head and stood his ground. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at our dad.
“Leave her alone,” Alex replied harshly. “You don’t need to hit her anymore. You are being a big
meanie
.”
“Why, you little,” my dad fumed and lunged at Alex. Closing my eyes, I screamed and heard a crunch.
When I reopened my eyes, Alex was laying beside me, clutching his arm. Tears rolled down his face and I noticed that my dad was gone.
“Oh, Alex,” I muttered and rubbed my hand over his back.
“It hurts,” he whimpered and rolled over. I smiled sadly and kissed his cheek.
“Come on,” I said and lifted him into my arms.
I shuddered violently and shook the memory away. I glanced over at Alex who was standing beside me. His arms were crossed over his chest and he stood as if he had a purpose. The pose reminded me of the way he protected me that night. I smiled slightly and touched his arm. He looked down at me and his eyes lit up.
“I love you,” I mouthed. He smiled sadly and nodded.
“You too,” he whispered. I turned back to the television, watching people running for their lives. It made my heart drop and I felt myself yearning to pick up the phone to call Michael. It used a lot of strength to stop trying to.

Chapter 27-September 11, 2001; 9:43
q.m
. (Michael)

“Help us. Please. Somebody help us.” People were screaming all around me. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion. I took each step one by one and tried to ignore the cries beside me. I took in a shuddering breath and hesitated for a minute.
“Come on, Michael,” I uttered and pushed myself forwards. I followed close behind Andrew, trying not to lose him in the midst of the hysteria.
Seventy-nine.
Eighty.
Eighty-one.
Eighty-two.
We reached the eighty-third floor and stopped. The flow of people had slowed and I could hear yelling on the other side of the door. Somebody tried the door but it would budge.
“It’s stuck. It won’t open,” they called out. I frowned and let out a gruff sigh.
“Okay, men,” Andrew shouted above the noise.
“On three.”
I braced my shoulders and took in another breath. I closed my eyes for a brief second and saw Claire’s smiling face. Grimacing, I tried to push the picture out of my mind. It proved to be a difficult challenge.
“One.”
Those eyes-the eyes of a Dorian grey
.
“Two.” The soft smile that lit up her face, making her expression
look
almost harmless.
“Three.” I knew Claire.
Inside and out.
We all heaved on the door, making it fall down with a loud thud. Once the door was down, the smoke exited the room, causing all of us to cough brutally. I covered my mouth and tried not to breath in the nauseous fumes. I placed my mouth piece over my lips and sucked in a breath of oxygen. Smiling grimly, I shuffled inside and glanced around.
The ex-office area was now up in flames. The heat snuck through our sleeves and I started to sweat profusely. I clapped my hands together and sighed. Small fires were set upon desks and the flames licked the ceiling. My gaze swept the floor and I grimaced.
Bodies were
laying
all over the hardwood floor. A lot of them were moving about, trying to get to the stairs. Others were consumed in the flames, being burnt alive. I shuddered violently and tried to look away.
It was impossible. The bodies were everywhere.
“Michael,” Andrew called out. I glanced over at him and saw that he had two men over his shoulders. Both were
unconcious
, but Andrew held them none the less. “You need to grab some victims and start down the stairs. We can’t get the elevators to work.”
I nodded and walked off, looking for someone to carry down. I stooped down under the thickening smoke and eased onto my knees. I crawled forward, taking in deep breaths from my tank.
“Help,” a hoarse voice cried out. I looked to my left where a hand waved out. I crawled over to it and noticed
a young women
in her late twenties watching me. She had severe burns on her face and arms and the tips of her long black hair were singed. Her large blue eyes watched my every movement and her lips parted. No words came out.
She was dressed in a stylish pinstripe suit and high heels. I slipped the shoes off of her feet and
slid my hands underneath her. I heaved her up into my arms and got to a standing position.
Turning around, I looked for the door we came through, but I didn’t see anything. I couldn’t find my friends anywhere and I panicked a little.
“Andrew?” I called out. As I started to move around the office, a memory from a few years ago was emblazoned in my mind.
My senior year of high school.
It was the end of the school year and I was getting ready to go off and be a fire fighter for the rest of my life.
One particular day in April of 1992, I was in my chemistry class. I was working on my homework for that night when the door squeaked open. I looked up from my desk and saw a young girl enter the room. She walked up to the teacher and handed her a small pink note. The teacher nodded and the girl turned to walk to the empty desk behind me.
As she passed by me, her eyes met mine and I froze. She
wasa
one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She had short cinnamon colored hair that hung right at her shoulders. Her lips were graced with a shy smile and she raised a hand to push a strand of her hair behind her ear. I noticed multiple earrings in her ear and a silver stud in her nose.
The thing that caught my attention the most was the color of her eyes. They were a dark stormy grey and a fire burnt dimly in them. The only thing off about her was a brown and blue circle covering her right eye. Anger burst through my body and I immediately wanted to know who had hit her.
I opened my mouth to speak to her but she hurried by me, dumping her stuff on the floor beside her new desk. It took all I had to face forward and continue working. I could hear her behind me. The scratch her pencil made on a new sheet of paper. Her harsh breathing and murmurs under her breath when she got an answer wrong.
At the end of class, I stuffed my binder in my bag and slid it onto my shoulders. I smiled softly and turned to the girl, but her body was already turned away from me. Her face was turned downwards and pieces of her hair fell into her eyes.
I ran a hand through my growing black hair and opened my mouth
.
“I’m,” I started but the bell started to ring. The girl ran off without another glance at me and my shoulders sank. I sighed and trudged out of the classroom.
Once in the hallway, I was seized by arms that didn’t quite fit around my waist. I looked down into a pair of dark blue eyes-the color of the sea
.
“Michael,” she murmured and smiled longingly at me.
I swept my gaze over her petite body. She wore a tight tee and a short skirt showing off her tanned legs. Her heels gave the impression that she was taller than she really was. Her long black hair was curled around her heart-shaped face and her dark eyes were brightened with excitement
.
“Lucy,” I replied and hitched the corners of my mouth up. She grinned back knowingly.
She pulled my head towards her and her lips met mine. I kissed her back passionately and snaked my arms around her waist. She locked hers around my neck and shivered beneath my touch.
After a few minutes of kissing, I pulled back and stared at her lovingly. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eyes I could see the new girl pass by. She glanced quickly at me, then at Lucy in
my arms, before running off to her next class.
The bell rang again and I took my arms away. Lucy’s lips formed a little pout and she whimpered. I chuckled and kissed her cheek.
“We have to get to class,” I warned. She held onto my hand and stared into my dark green eyes.
“Let’s skip English,” she muttered and pulled on my hand. I shook my head.
“We have a test,” I explained. “And if I’m not there, then I will get in big trouble. I need all A’s to get into school next year.”
“Okay,” she grumbled and walked along side me to our English test. We were tardy and as I signed the sheet, I looked towards the back of the room. The girl with those impossible grey eyes was smiling at me mockingly. She rolled her eyes and went back to the book she was reading. I fumbled
wtih
the pen in my hand before handing it to Lucy, who took it and quickly signed her name.
She smiled back up at me and pressed her lips to my cheek. I felt the blood pool in my cheeks and I smiled shyly.
“I love you,” she whispered and flounced off to her desk. I frowned and walked over to my desk, taking one last look at the new girl. I looked down at my desk and grimaced.
This is going to be a long
month,
I thought and clenched my hands into fists.
“Help me,” the woman cried in my arms again. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her petite body shuddered with violent sobs.
“I’m here,” I told her. “I will get you to safety.”
The smoke was thickening around me and I could barely see my own hands. I trudged on and I could feel a wall against my hand. I followed the wall before finally finding a door. I threw it open and saw the stairs to my right. People were still falling down the steps and didn’t notice the burnt woman in my arms. I flowed along with them and started running down the steps.
Eighty-two.
Eighty-one.
Eighty.
Seventy-nine.
I let my mind be focused on taking the girl to safety. My breathing was still labored and I coughed from the smoke that had entered my lungs.
Suddenly, the building trembled and I could feel it down to my toes. My eyes widened and everybody in the stair well froze.
“It can’t be,” one guy shot out. The building trembled again and my breath left me. My heart hammered in my chest as I realized that I wasn’t going to make it. My thoughts went straight to Claire.
“I won’t ever see her again,” I whispered to myself. I set the woman on the stairs beside me and put my head in my hands. My body shuddered with silent sobs and tears flowed in a steady stream down my cheeks.
“Oh, Claire.”
A hand was placed on my shoulder and I looked up. Andrew was standing on a step below me, staring at me. His eyes were saddened and his smile flickered.
“Herring.
We aren’t going to make it this time,” he stated. I nodded in agreement and moaned. “I just wanted to let you know that it was a great five years brother. I-I’m going to miss you.
“Andrew, same here.
I-I am going to
miss
Claire. I just....I just wish I could see her once more,”
I stuttered. He smiled again, but it was a sad smile that didn’t fill his face.
“Oh, Michael,” he sighed and sat down in front of me.
the
building trembled and I knew that the tower was about to fall. “I love you brother.”
“I love you too,” I replied and hooked my arm through his.
Suddenly, the floor crumbled underneath us and I fell to the ground. As I was falling, I thought of nothing but Claire. People fell beside me and I tuned out their screams of terror. I could feel Andrew’s arm still hooked in mine. Seth wouldn’t be able to propose to his girlfriend. We wouldn’t see our loved ones ever again.
Goodbye, Claire, I thought to myself.
Finally I hit something hard and I saw nothing but a bright white light.