When the Glitter Fades (Cowboys of Whispering Winds) (14 page)

“It’s not available, Lanie. I’m sorry.”

Frustration and desperation about the ranch took over common sense. “You’re just as irresponsible as your father,” she shouted, echoing Jase’s words from several months prior.

A dangerous glint shone from Jeremy. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Can we talk about this privately?’ He jerked his head toward Allie and Jase, both of whom had widened eyes, reminding her they weren’t alone.

Lanie felt sick to her stomach, immediately regretting her words. The sudden news about the tax bill had her not thinking straight. What Jeremy had done with his money was none of her business, especially if it was spent prior to them reconnecting. He’s always paid his child support on time, always made sure Cody had anything he wanted that money could buy. That’s as far as his financial business extended to her.

She noticed Allie nudge Jase, and they exited the room, leaving her alone with Jeremy. He hadn’t moved, a frown marred his face.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“It’s not my business where your money went, as long as Cody was receiving his support.”

“That’s the problem, Lanie. You’re saying it’s not your business, like you believe I
was
irresponsible. There’s still a part of you that doesn’t trust me.”

“I do.”

“Then you’d have a little faith in me.” His hurt was evident.

For several minutes she thought about what had just happened. “Didn’t we say it wasn’t going to be easy? I trust you. Completely. My words were spoken out of frustration of the situation, and it was easier to put blame on you, because of the past, than to accept we might have to lose part of Whispering Winds. It doesn’t make it right, but I’m sorry.”

“Can someone watch Cody after school?” he asked.

“I’m sure someone can. Why?”

“There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

“Let me go talk to Allie.”

“I’ll meet you at my truck in a half hour. Bring a coat; we’ll be out late.” His voice was strained, but he gave her arm a gentle squeeze as he passed by on his way out of the room.

She found Allie and Jase in the game room, halfheartedly playing a game of pool. They both stopped and looked at her with inquiring eyes.

“Are you okay?” Allie asked with a note of sympathy

“Not really. Do you think we’ll lose part of Whispering Winds?”

“Not if I can help it,” Jase spoke up adamantly. “My son is going to be free to explore the woods, go fishing anywhere he wants along the stream behind our house.”

“Or daughter,” Allie corrected him, sharing a secret smile with her husband.

Lanie’s gaze darted back and forth between Jase and Allie. “You’re pregnant?”

“We’re having a baby,” Allie announced, beaming.

“Wow, congratulations! When are you due?”

“I go for my first ultrasound next week, but by my guess, early June.”

“I can’t believe I’m finally going to be an Aunt. It’s about time, little brother,” she teased, giving Jase a friendly punch.

“Maybe it’s about time to give me some more nieces and nephews,” he joked back, then stopped realizing what he said. “Oh screw it. It kills me to admit it, but Jeremy has changed. You’re good for each other. Go apologize and make up with him, but don’t you dare ask him for money again, on Whispering Winds’ behalf.”

Lanie looked at her brother like he’d just sprouted a horn. “After all the hell you raised, you change your mind like that,” she said, snapping her fingers.

He shrugged. “I was cautiously and justifiably wrong.”

“He’s actually the reason I came searching for you. Allie, would you be able to get Cody from the bus and watch him this evening? Jeremy and I need some time to talk and he’s taking me somewhere.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks a lot.” She gave Allie a quick hug. “Congratulations again. I’ll call when I know better what time I’ll be home.”

“Don’t rush. He’ll be in good hands.”

She was fortunate to have family surrounding her. Stopping by the office on her way out, she grabbed her jacket and purse. Jeremy was already waiting for her outside, leaning against the truck. From the brown Stetson he wore today, down to his well-worn boots, he could have doubled as the Marlboro man, minus the absence of a cigarette.  Her stomach did the little flip-flops that it did every time she stopped to really look at him.

“Ready?”

“Yes. Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“In a bit.” He opened the passenger door and held a hand out to assist her inside the cab.

“Have I told how sorry I am?” she said again, trying to go the cutesy route to return a smile on his face.

“You’re forgiven, Lanie. I’ve said and done plenty worse.” His tone didn’t reflect the words; instead, it projected a poignant remorse. He closed the door, already walking to the driver’s side.

“Jase and Allie are pregnant,” she told him after several minutes of painful silence.

“They’ll be good parents,” he replied neutrally, not taking his eyes from the road.

“Jase finally admitted you’ve changed; said you and I are good for each other.”

Jeremy quirked an eyebrow, but didn’t respond.

“He also said he’d like more nieces or nephews.”

“He knows I’d be the father, right?” Jeremy snorted, finally glancing over.

“I just told you he’s come around. One thing about Jase is he’ll admit when he’s wrong.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe it.”

“Don’t do this.” Torn between wanting to scream and cry, she scooted to the edge of her seat, reaching over and resting a hand on Jeremy’s thigh, needing that physical connection.

“Do what? Be realistic? Would you like me to believe in an instant happily ever after? Because that’s not how it works,” he exploded.

Running her teeth over her bottom lip, tears formed in the corners of her eyes. “Do you still want the happily ever after?

“Of course I do. I love you, Lanie, and I want to be with you. That’s never going to change, but things were going so well between us that I fooled myself into thinking the past could be erased. Today was a reminder that it will always be there lurking, waiting for a chance to attack.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again, struck with the damage her careless accusation had caused.

“Stop saying you’re sorry, okay?”  He changed hands on the steering wheel and reached over to wipe away her tear.  “You and Cody are my world, the best things to happen to me.  Don’t ever forget that.”

A few more minutes of silence passed. Observing Jeremy from her side of the truck, she saw the tension leaving his body. His muscles relaxed and his mouth wasn’t twisting into a frown. He wasn’t smiling yet, but it was a start.

“My dad didn’t lose the ranch because of some hidden gambling addiction that everyone seems to believe,” Jeremy confided, some thirty minutes later. “I don’t know how that rumor even started.”

“What happened?” To her shame, she’d believed the rumors.

“Alzheimer’s. He kept it to himself, too proud to tell anyone, until it was too late. Slowly, he handed over the reins of daily operations, but kept control of the finances and books. Unfortunately, as the months progressed, so did the dementia. He started making rash investments that didn’t make sense, both on new equipment for the ranch and in stocks.  The worst part was, he took out a mortgage on Travers’ Ranch that he should have never needed.”

“That’s terrible,” she said, feeling even worse about what she’d said earlier in the conference room.

“It was right around the time of our divorce when I was at my worst. Almost a year had passed since I’d been out to see him even though I was minutes away. Had I been a better son, I could have seen what was happening.  No one knew until the ranch was foreclosed on.  Dad wasn’t even the one who told me; it was his foreman.”

“Where’s you dad now?”

Jeremy gulped, having difficulty giving the answer. “A long-term care home. I had no choice,” he quickly added.

“You don’t have to defend your decision.”

“Yes, I do.  Dad was the strongest, most steadfast man I ever knew. He built Travers’ Ranch from nothing, making it the most respected horse ranch in the state. All that’s gone because of a debilitating disease that’s turned him into a man I don’t know.  Putting him into a care home killed me, but there was no other option. The disease was progressing too fast.”

“I can’t imagine,” Lanie uttered, her heart breaking for the secret pain Jeremy had been going through.

“During his moments of lucidity, he begs me not tell anyone. He can’t accept the fact of what’s happening to him. Other than a select few people, for necessary reasons and who I know won’t breach his trust, you’re the first person I’ve told. I try to visit him once a week, but it’s been more scattered since going to Whispering Winds.”

“That’s where you’ve disappeared the weekend we had no plans?”

“Yes.”

“And here I thought you were escaping Jase,” she teased lightly, successfully coaxing a chuckle from him.

“I’m taking you to see him. Is that okay?”

She gave his hand a squeeze, feeling a measure of relief they were talking now. “I’d love that.”

“There’s more to the story you need to know. I hated the idea of Travers’ Ranch falling to a stranger’s hands.  It’s true you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”  He glanced over to her, and she knew he was referring to her also. “I bought the ranch back from the bank. Deep down, I knew that, eventually, I’d have to get my act together and I had this dream of one day, when I was done riding bulls, bringing it back to its former glory and leaving its legacy to Cody. Purchasing it back from the bank took most of the money I had. That’s why I don’t have that kind of cash.”

“Wow,” was all Lanie could say, completely thrown for a loop. 

“You have to believe that if I had the money, I’d give it to you in a heartbeat. I know what it’s like to lose the land your blood, sweat and tears are on.  But more than that, I know how important it is to you, and I’d do anything to keep you happy.”

“I know,” she assured him, falling in love all over again. She’d been so very wrong.

Now that everything was in the open, the atmosphere seemed to cool down, setting a more upbeat tone.

“Jase really said he wants more nieces and nephews?” Jeremy asked out of the blue, returning to the conversation he hadn’t wanted to participate in two hours prior.

“Yes. I told you he’d come around eventually.”

“What do you think?”

“Of Jase? He’s a pain in my rear, but I love him.”

Jeremy laughed. “No, about giving him some more nieces or nephews.”

“I always wanted children. You’re the one who wasn’t sure.” There was no accusation, just a statement of facts as they had been.

“Spending time with Cody, being around him on a regular basis, has made me realize I’d like some more kids eventually. Not right now, but when we’re more secure. Not that I don’t think we’re secure, but when we’ve had time to reestablish ourselves. But not too far down the road. I don’t want them graduating high school when I’m too old to still have my own teeth.”

His nervousness is kind of endearing
, Lanie thought. She let him ramble in circles for several more seconds before stepping in to rescue him.  “I understand what you’re trying to say. We don’t have to put a time table on it.  It’s nice just knowing that’s an option for the future.”

“Yes, when the time’s right. We’re almost to Dad’s home. Do you need to stop for anything before we get there?”

“Is there a restroom there that I’ll be able to use?”

“Yes.”

“I’m good then.”

They approached a small town and went through three traffic lights, turning left on a road that looked like it led to nowhere. 

“How’d you find this facility?” Lanie asked since it seemed in an obscure location.

“It’s Dad’s home. I can’t stand the ‘f’ word,” he made clear.

Understandable. “How did you find his new home?” she asked, rephrasing the question,

“J.T. actually told me about it. His great-uncle spent his last years here. The medical care is outstanding and the entire staff is very understanding and supportive. I researched several options in the area, even some out of state, but this one has zero complaints on file and was the best fit. It’s a little pricier than others, but worth the added cost.”

“J.T.’s been a good friend to you, hasn’t he?”

“He’s a brother in every way that matters,” he stated pragmatically, conserving his words.

Men.  He’d discuss their relationship with her, but wouldn’t discuss his closest friendship. “I’m glad you have him.”

Jeremy stared ahead, a barely perceptible tension spreading through him. “This it is.”

“The grounds look friendly.” She looked out, observing.

A short brick wall, about four feet high, extended on each side of the entrance. The words
River’s Bluff
protruded from the brick in large, iron letters on the left side and on the other,
Assisted Living. 
At the end of the driveway was a parking lot in front of a cheery building, which looked like it could be a small, garden apartment complex. The pathway was lined with Japanese barberry and each exterior window had a flower box with yellow and orange mums, perfectly suited for adding autumnal ambiance.

“Do they change the flowers according to season?” she mused aloud.

“Yes,” Jeremy replied, surprising her because she wasn’t expecting an answer. “They aren’t real though, silk or something. I can’t remember, but they told us during a tour. In a few weeks they’ll change over to poinsettias.”

“That’s a nice touch. It adds some festiveness.”

Jeremy was silent as he parked the truck. Both his hands gripped the steering wheel several moments before exiting the truck.

“Good afternoon, Jeremy.” A middle-aged nurse sitting behind a welcome desk greeted him. “Where’ve you been hiding this pretty young woman at?” she teased, nodding to Lanie.

“This is my wife, Lanie.” Jeremy slipped, not thinking.

A surprised smile flickered over the nurse’s face.  “You’ve been holding out on me. I didn’t realize you’d tied the knot.  Nice to meet you Lanie Travers.”