When the Lion Feeds (19 page)

He dressed, hopping on one leg as he got into his breeches, stuffing in the tails of his shirt and then sitting on the bed to pull on his boots.

Now he was thinking about Audrey, he must try and get into town tomorrow to see her.

Sean had decided on matrimony. He had three good reasons. He had found that it was easier to get into the Bank of England's vaults than to get under Audrey's petticoats without marrying her. When Sean wanted something no price was too high to pay.

Living at Theunis Kraal with Garry and Anna, Sean had decided that it would be pleasant to have his own woman to cook for him, mend his clothes and listen to his stories, for Sean was feeling a little left out.

The third consideration, by no means the least significant, was Audrey's connections with the local bank. She was one of the very few weaknesses in old man Pye's armour. He might even weigh in with Mahobals Kloof farm as a wedding present, though even the optimist in Sean realized that this hope was extravagant. Pye and his money were not easily parted.

Yes, Sean decided, he would have to find time to get into town and tell audrey, in Sean's mird it wasn't a question of asking her. Sean brushed his hair, combed his beard, winked at himself in the mirror and went out into the passage. He could smell breakfast cooking and his mouth started to water.

Anna was in the kitchen. Her face was flushed from the heat of the stove. What's for breakfast, little sister? She turned to him, quickly brushing the hair off her forehead with the back of her hand. I'm not your sister, she said, I wish you wouldn't call me that. Where's Garry?

Sean asked as though he had not heard her protest. He's not up yet. The poor boy's exhausted, no doubt. Sean grinned at her and she turned away in confusion. Sean looked at her bottom without desire. Strange that anna being Garry's wife should kill his appetite for her. Even the memory of what they had done before was vaguely obscene, incestuous.

You're getting fat, he said noticing the new heaviness of her body. She ducked her head but did not answer and Sean went on, I'll have four eggs, please, and tell Joseph not to dry them out completely. Sean went through into the dining-room and Garry came in through the side door at the same moment. His face was still vacant from sleep. Sean got a whiff of his breath; it smelled of stale liquor. Good morning Romeo, said Sean and Garry grinned sheepishly. His eyes were bloodshot and he hadn't shaved.

Hello, Sean. How did you sleep? Beautifully, thank you. I take it that you did also Sean sat down and spooned porridge from the tureen.

Have some! he asked Garry. Thanks. Sean passed him the plate. He noticed how Garry's hand shook. I'll have to talk to him about letting up on the bottle a trifle. Hell, I'm hungry. They talked the jerky, disconnected conversation of the breakfast table. Anna came through and joined them. Joseph brought the coffee. Have you told Sean yet, Garry?

Anns spoke suddenly, clearly and with decision. No. Garry was taken by surprise, he spluttered his coffee. Told me what! Sean asked. They were silent and Garrick fluttered his hand nervously. This was the moment he had been dreading, what if Sean guessed, what if he knew it was his baby and took them away, Anna and the baby, took them away and left Garry with nothing.

Haunted by wild unreasonable fears, Garrick stared fixedly across the table at his brother.

Tell him, Garry, commanded Anna. Anna's going to have a baby, he said.

He watched Sean's face, saw the surprise change slowly to delight, felt sean's arm close round his shoulders in a painful hug almost crushing him.

That' s great Sean exulted! that's wonderful. We'll have the house full of kids in no time if you keep that up, Garry. I'm proud of you.

Grinning stupidly with relief Garrick watched Sean hug Anna more gently and kiss her forehead.

WeLl done, Anna, make sure it's a boy. We need cheap labour around here. He hasn't guessed, thought Garrick, he doesn't know and it will be mine, No one can take it away from me now.

That day they worked in the south section. They stayed together, Garry laughing in happy confusion at Sean's banter. It was delightful to have sean give him so much attention. They finished early; for once Sean was in no mood for work. My reproductive brother, every barrel loaded with buck-shot. Sean leaned across and punched Garry's shoulder. Let's knock it off and go into town. We can have a few quick ones to celebrate at the hotel and then go and tell Ada. Sean stood up in the stirrup and yelled above the moo and mill of the herd.

Mbejane, bring those ten sick ones up to the house and don't forget that tomorrow we are going to fetch cattle from the sale pens. Mbejane waved in acknowledgement and Sean turned back to Garrick. Come on, let's get the hell out of here. They rode side by side, globules of moisture covering their oilskins and shining on Sean's beard. it was still cold and the escarpment was hidden in the wet mist. It's real brandy-drinking weather, said Sean and Garrick did not answer. He was lightened again. He didn't want to tell Ada. She would guess. She guessed everything, she would know it was Sean's child. You couldn't lie to her. The horses hooves plopped wetly in the mud. They reached the spot where the road forked and climbed over the ridge to Lady-burg.

Ada's going to love being a grandma, chuckled Sean, and at that moment ins horse stumbled slightly, broke its gait and started favouring its near fore. Sean dismounted, lifted the hoof and saw the splinter driven deep into the frog. Damn it to hell, he swore. He bent his head, gripped the hilt of the splinter with his teeth and drew it out. Well, we can't go into Lady-burg now, that leg will be sore for days. Garry-

was relieved; it put off the time when he must tell Ada. Your horse isn't lame. Off you go, man! give her my love. Sean looked up at him.

We can tell her some other time. Let's get back home Garry demurred. Go on, Garry, it's your baby. Go and tell her Garrick argued until he saw sean's temper rising, then with a sigh of resignation he went and Sean led his own horse back to Theunis Kraal. Now that he was walking the oilskin was uncomfortably hot and heavy, Sean took it off and slung it over the saddle.

Anna was standing on the stoep as he came up to the homestead.

Where's Garry? she called. Don't worry. He's gone into town to see ada. He'll be back by supper-time One of the stable boys came to take sean's horse. They talked together and then Sean stooped to lift the injured hoof. His breeches tightened across his buttocks and enhanced the long moulded taper of his legs. Anna looked at him. He straightened up and his shoulders were wide beneath the damp white linen of his shirt. He smiled at her as he came up the steps of the stoep.

The rain had made his beard curl and he looked like a mischievous pirate. You must take better care of yourself now He put his hand on her upper arm to lead her aside. You can't stand around in the cold any more. They went in through the glass doors. Anna looked up at him, the top of her head on a level with his shoulder. You're a dAArnn fine woman, Anna, and I'm sure you're going to make a fine baby. It was a mistake, for as he said it his eyes softened and his face turned down towards her. He let his arm drop around her shoulders.

Sean! She said his name as though it were an exclamation of pain. She moved quickly, fiercely within the circle of his arm, her body flattened itself against his and her hands went up to catch in the thick hair at the back of his head. She pulled his head down and her mouth opened warm and wet across his lips, her back arched and thrust her thighs against his legs. She moaned softly as she kissed him. For startled seconds Sean stood imprisoned in her embrace, then he tore his face away. Are you mad? He tried to push her from him, but she fought her way back through his fending hands. she locked her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest. I love you. Please, please. I love you. just let me hold you. I just want to hold you. Her voice was muffled by the damp cloth of his shirt. She was shivering. Get away from me. Roughly Sean broke her hold and almost threw her backwards onto the couch beside the fireplace. You're Garry's wife now, and you'll soon be the mother of his child. Keep your hot little body for him. Sean stood back from her with his anger starting to mount.

But I love you, Sean. Oh, my God, if I could only make you understand how I've suffered, living here with you and not being able to touch you even, Sean strode across to where she sat. Listen to me. His voice was harsh, I don't want you. I never loved you, but now I could no more touch you than I could go with my own mother. She could see the revulsion in his face. You're Garry's wife; if ever again you look at another man I'll kill you. He lifted his hands holding them with the fingers crooked ready. I'll kill you with my bare hands. His face was close to hers. She could not bear the expression in his eyes: she lashed out at him. He pulled back in time to save his eyes, but her nails gouged bloody lines across his cheek and down the side of his nose. He caught her wrists and held her while a thin trickle of blood dribbled down into his beard. She twisted in his hands, jerking her body from side to side, and she screamed at him. You swine, you dirty, dirty swine. Garry's wife, you say. Garry's baby, you say. She threw her head back and laughed wildly through her screaming. Now I'll tell you the truth. What I have within me you gave me. It's yours!

Not Garry's! Sean let go her wrists and backed away from her.

It can't be, he whispered, you must be lying. She followed him. Don't you remember how you said goodbye to me before you went to war? Don't you remember that night in the wagon? Don't you remember, don't you?

Don't you? She was talking quietly now, using her words to wound him.

That was months ago. It can't be true, Sean stammered, still moving away from her. Three and a half months, she told him. Your brother's baby will be a little early, don't you think? But lots of people have premature babies - Her voice droned on steadily, she was shivering uncontrollably now and her face was ghostly pale. Sean could stand it no longer. Leave me, leave me alone. I've got to think. I didn't know. He brushed past her and went out into the passage.

She heard the door of Waite's study slam shut and she stood still in the centre of the floor. Gradually her panting came under control and the storm surf of her anger abated to expose the black reefs of hatred beneath. She crossed the floor, went down the passage and into her own bedroom. She stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself.

I hate him, her lips formed the words in the nodffor.

Her face was still pale. There's one thing I can take from him. Garry's mine now, not his. She pulled the pins from her hair and let them drop onto the floor; her hair fell down her back. She shook it onto her shoulders then lifted her hands and tangled it into confusion. Her teeth closed on her own lips, she bit until she tasted blood. Oh, God, I hate him, I hate him, she whispered through the pain. Her hands came down onto the front of her dress. She tore it open, then in the mirror looked without interest at the round bosses of her nipples that were already darkening with the promise of fruition. She kicked off her shoes.

I hate him. She stooped and her hands went up under her skirts into the petticoats. She loosened her pantaloons and stepped out of them; she held them across her chest to tear them, then threw them next to the bed. She swept her arm across the top of her dressing-table: one of the bowls hit the floor and burst with a splash of face-powder and there was the sudden pungent reek of spilled perfume.

She crossed to the bed and dropped onto it. She lifted her knees and her petticoats fell back like the petals of a flower: her white legs and lower body were the stamen.

just before nightfall there was a shy knock an her door.

What is it? she asked. The Nkosikazi has not told me what I should cook for dinner, Old Joseph's voice was raised respectfully. There will be no dinner tonight. You and all the servants may go. Very well, Nkosikazi Garrick came home in the dark. He had been drinking; she heard him stagger as he crossed the stoep, and his voice slur as he called. Hallo. Where's everybody? Anna! Anna! I'm back Silence for a while as he lit one of the lamps and then the hurried thump, thump of his peg along the passage and his voice again edged with alarm. Anna, Anna, where are you?

He Pushed the door open and stood with the lamp in his hand. Anna rolled away from the light, pressing her face into the pillow and hunching her shoulders. She heard him set the lamp down on the dressing-table, felt his hands pulling down her skirts to cover Her nakedness, then gently turn her to face him. She looked into his face andsaw the uncomprehending horror in it. MY darling Oh Anna, my darling, what's happened? He stared at her broken lips and her breasts.

Bewildered he turned his head and looked at the bottles on the floor, at her torn pantaloons. His face hardened and came back to her.

Are you hurt? She shook her head. Who? Tell me who did it She turned away from him again, hiding her face.

My darling my poor darling. Who was it, one of the servants? No, her voice stifled with shame. Please tell me, Anna. What happened?

She sat up quickly and threw her arms about him, holding him hard so her lips were near his ear. you know, Garry. You know who did itNo, I swear I don't, please tell me Anna drew her breath in deep, held it a second then breathed it out. Sean! Garrick's body convulsed in her arms, she heard him grunt as though he had been hit. Then he spoke.

This too. Now this too He loosened her hands from his neck and pushed her gently down onto the pillows. He crossed to the cupboard, opened one of the drawers and took out Waites service pistol.