When We Collide (3 page)

“We need you here, Will. Mom needs you.”

I hadn’t been back to Mississippi in more than six
years.

Aunt Lara had called me once and hadn’t hesitated to
unleash her disappointment on me. She told me she wouldn’t stand
aside and allow me to hurt her youngest sister by shunning my
mother—my entire family—anymore. She’d accused me of thinking I was
too good for them all and asked what any of them had ever done for
me to think I could treat them that way.

What none of them understood was I couldn’t go back.
I couldn’t stand to see
her
, couldn’t stand to witness the
life she had chosen. None of my family knew what had occurred that
summer, the summer when my heart had come alive and then been
crushed in what had felt like the same breath.

The only thing I could do was leave, turn my back
and act as if it had never happened.

I’d buried it all in a place just under the surface
where the memories of
her
touch ran rampant in my fantasies,
freed only in the lonely moments of the night. She’d become a
dream. I knew stepping foot back in Mississippi was going to make
her real again.

But even if it did, I refused to ignore my family
when they needed me.

“Yeah…” I slanted a hand through my hair and glanced
at my desk, not sure how I was going to handle going back, but
knowing I didn’t have a choice. I swallowed, then forced myself to
speak, committing myself back to the place I’d run from so long
ago. “I’ll be there.”

Blake’s surprise was evident in his loss for words.
Finally he rushed, “Good. That’s good. We’re all…” He paused and
his voice lowered. “Everyone here misses you, Will.”

I tamped down some emotion, hating that I’d caused
my family to believe I didn’t want to be a part of their lives.

“Let me get some work stuff rearranged, and I’ll
give you a call sometime tomorrow to let you know when I’ll be
out.”

Blake’s heavy breath was almost palpable through the
phone. “Okay. Just hurry.”

~

Tugging shirts from their hangers, I tossed them
with little thought into the suitcase lying open across the
bed.

Kristina stood behind me, leaning against the
bedroom doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. “I can’t
believe you’re doing this, William. Do you have any idea what we
have riding on this account? How much money we stand to lose if
you’re not here?”

I cast Kristina a sidelong glance as I stalked back
into the closet. She stood there fuming across the room. She’d been
riding my ass since the second I told her I was leaving. I grabbed
a few pairs of pants from the closet, pausing at its entrance on
the way out. “My aunt is
dying
,” I said, drawing out the
word. “What do you expect me to do?”

“I expect you to honor your obligations.”

I bit back a scornful snort.

Honor? Working for Kristina’s father was the least
honorable thing I’d ever done.

Taking four long strides to the bed, I turned my
back on Kristina and flung the rest of my things into the suitcase,
cramming the clothing in and struggling to hold it closed while I
zipped it. I stood up straight and spoke toward the wall. I offered
her an explanation I thought any normal person would understand.
“My family needs me.”

I felt the shift, the tilt of her head, could almost
see her sneer. “Since when do you care anything about what they
need?”

I balled my hands as guilt tensed the muscles in my
back. Is this what the last years of my life had shown? Complete
disregard for my family? Shaking it off, I grabbed the suitcase and
dragged it from the bed and onto its wheels, realizing it was
pointless to correct her. She had no clue about my past, how close
I’d been to my family, or how close I’d come to living a life so
different than this one.

I crossed the room to her, stopping a foot away. Her
expression was hard, her eyes blue fire, all pretenses
gone—cold—just like I knew her to be.

My anger dissipated when I took her in. I almost
felt sorry for her. She allowed all this trivial shit to rule her
world. It was the same shit I’d allowed her to center around mine.
“When’s it going to be enough, Kristina?”

Inching closer, I inclined my head to be sure I held
her attention.

“Will you ever be satisfied? Because I refuse to
live like this any longer.” Somehow I knew I’d reached a turning
point. I just didn’t know which way I was going to go.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her stony resolve
wavered, her eyes flickering with a moment’s uncertainty, before
she set it firmly back in place. Of course she knew what I
meant—the excess, when drive becomes greed.

I scrubbed a hand over my weary face, forcing the
air from my lungs and dropping the subject, because I already knew
there was no chance of changing her—no chance of changing the way I
felt about her. “I’m going home, Kristina…call Neil, have him take
over the account.”

I pushed past her and headed toward the garage.

“When are you coming back?” Panic flooded her voice.
For the first time since I’d known her, Kristina was on the verge
of losing her carefully crafted control.

I paused but didn’t look her way. “I really don’t
know.”

~

My hands were sweating as I gripped the steering
wheel as I left L.A. I’d decided to drive, rationalizing the
two-day trip to Mississippi would buy me some time. Time to decide
what to do about the mess with Kristina. Time to delay my arrival
back to the place I’d sworn to never return.

A shock of panic raised my temperature by what felt
like thirty degrees when I thought of going back. I laughed
humorlessly. Nothing like living the life of a coward. But was that
what I really was? A coward?

I’d fought for
her
, would’ve given anything
for her. I had to leave because there was no way I would have sat
idle and watched her being torn down. I would have done…something.
Chances were I would’ve ended up losing it like I’d done that
night.

Her smile flashed across my vision, the softest
eyes, the sweetest mouth.
“William,”
she whispered at my ear
as she wove her fingers through my hair.

Chills shot across my skin and raised the hairs at
the nape of my neck, spreading down my back.

God.

Old regret throbbed somewhere deep within my chest.
Maybe I should have stayed. But what would it have ever
changed?

Maggie ~ Present Day

His callused hand burned against my skin. He was
asleep behind me with his palm set possessively on my thigh. Hot
breaths crawled along my skin and wrapped around my neck like an
invisible noose, stealing the air as I struggled to suck it into my
lungs.

My body felt like dead weight as I lay beside the
last man I’d ever have chosen to give myself to.

Had I been marked for this life before I was born?
Fated before time to suffer at the hands of the ones who were
supposed to care for me? Or was it the choices I had made that led
me here? Did one fatal mistake send me on a collision course, or
was this simply a consequence of a lifetime of naivety and
fear?

I retreated further into myself, seeking shelter in
the shadows of my mind. There were few things there of comfort. But
the small amount of comfort that remained shined bright.

William’s face, laughing and kind. “
Maggie
,”
he had murmured as he rolled to tug me on top of him. I giggled and
relaxed into the firm body below me. William chuckled from deep in
his chest and held me even closer as he buried his face in my
hair.

Leaning back, I trailed my fingertips down the side
of his face. He smiled as I traced them along the lines of his
lips. My skin tingled, and I was unable to make sense of how any
person could make me feel this way.

“You’re so beautiful...do you know that
?” he
had said.

My heart thrummed wildly with joy, and I ached to
feel more of his touch.

William had been perfect, a gift.

He’d changed me, deeply and in every way. When he
found me, I was scared and insecure, and while those things still
remained, they never looked the same. Every part of me had William
written on it, the way I thought and what I saw.

What I desired and where my dreams laid.

No, I could never have him. I’d made too many
mistakes. I had stayed on the same path that he had tried to save
me from.

But I had never stopped wanting him.

Loving him.

He’d fought for
me
.

And I’d let him go without putting up my own
fight.

Looking back now, I could finally see the glaring
point William had been desperate to show me all along.

I regretted it more than I could ever say, more than
I could ever openly admit.

I’d do anything to go back to the day when I’d let
him slip through my fingers. Despite everything that happened, I
had to believe now William would have accepted me.

Troy stirred behind me, grumbling deep within in his
sleep. His hand traveled to my stomach and his hold tightened.

Nauseous heat filled my body and tightened my
throat. I tried to swallow.

I’d do
anything
to go back.

But it was too late.

William ~ Present Day

After two days of driving, I finally crossed the
Mississippi State line at dusk. Traffic was light as I exited the
highway and headed south, speeding down the open country road. Tall
trees whipped by in a blur of green, gave way to open fields where
houses were set back off the road with their porch lights shining,
and then drove back into heavy forest—the countryside so alien from
what I’d grown accustomed to over the last few years.

Yet still so very familiar.

My nerves ramped up what felt like a hundred notches
when I turned onto Main Street and followed the single-lane road
through town. It was exactly the same as I remembered. Angled
parking spaces lined the storefronts of the one- and two-story
businesses. Some had gone out of business and had been replaced by
new owners, a few were vacant, and many were the same. I passed by
the high school where I’d graduated and the county hospital where I
was born.

I struggled to hold back the thousand memories that
flooded me when I came upon the playground. It was the playground
where my mom had pushed me on the swings when I was a small boy,
where I’d played soccer in middle school, where
she
had left
me six years before.

I slowed and inched by the vacant lot. Swings swayed
in the gentle wind, the trees rustling as the night sucked the last
of the light from the sky.

Like I’d known it would, it felt just like
yesterday. Like I could reach out and touch her, wipe away her
tears that had fallen when she’d broken both our hearts, kiss her
one last time.

I rubbed a hand over my face to break up the
memories.

Coming here had been a really bad idea.

Two minutes later, I turned onto the narrow street
I’d grown up on, and I found myself fighting with conflicting
emotions to both stay and run when I was engulfed in a swell of
homesickness. Barren elms and full evergreens grew tall along the
sidewalk bordering the road, the trees shading the mostly two-story
houses, the yards boasting flowerbeds and trimmed lawns.

Something fluttered in my conscience when I slowly
eased into my parents’ driveway, a suggestion of nostalgia and
regret. Gravel crunched beneath my tires, and I pulled up behind a
huge monster of a truck that I could only assume belonged to my
brother. My parents’ house was much like the others, a modest white
two-story with a stone path extending from the sidewalk to the five
steps leading up to the front porch.

I felt like the prodigal son when my mother suddenly
burst through the screened door and out onto the front porch. She
froze when she saw me, one hand covering her mouth and tears
glistening in her green eyes, as if she couldn’t believe I had
actually come.

My mom, Glenda, was in her early fifties, a little
wide through the hips, but thin everywhere else. Her brown hair had
grayed a bit since the last time I’d seen her, and worry had lined
her face.

Blake walked out behind her. A wary smile was forced
on his face, and his posture was tense as he shoved his hands in
the pockets of his worn work jeans. He and I favored each other,
brown eyes and dark blond hair like our father’s. He was a couple
of inches shorter than me, though, stockier, his muscles thick from
years of playing high school football and then his move into
construction work as soon as he graduated.

For a moment I just sat there, staring out the
driver’s side window up at the family that had been waiting for
me.

I finally allowed myself to admit how much I’d
really missed them.
Six years
since I’d seen my brother.
Three years since my mom had been out to California, begging me to
come home. Two years since I’d even spoken with my dad. I hadn’t
even come out for Blake’s wedding because I couldn’t risk the
chance of seeing
her
.

God, I was such an asshole.

Taking in a deep breath, I shut off the ignition and
stepped from the car, not exactly sure what to do or what to say.
Shame bit at my skin, and I shifted on my feet.

In a flurry of motion, Mom rushed down the steps.
Before I could comprehend it, she threw her arms around my rigid
frame. It took a couple of seconds for her welcome to sink in, for
me to react and wrap my arms around her.

She was shaking and crying as she clung to me. She
kept mumbling, “You came...you came.”

I had no words. My throat was thick, my emotions
tight. I just hugged her. She was wearing the same floral perfume
she’d worn ever since I could remember, and I was struck with
memories of how incredibly good she had always been to me.