When We Collide (37 page)

Joy
.

“Hey, Will, can you give me a hand? These steaks are
ready,” Blake said while he tried to balance a large metal tray in
one hand and tongs and a spatula in the other.

“Sure.”

Mom stood from the grass and dusted herself off. She
smiled as she took Jonathan and Emma by the hand. “Why don’t the
big kids help me set the table? Do you think you could do
that?”

Her suggestion was met with another squeal from Emma
and a shy smile of delight from Jonathan as he glanced back at
me.

I caught Maggie’s expression, saw it in her eyes, a
thankful satisfaction, another small triumph for our son.

He’d come such a long way.

I crossed the yard and clapped Blake on the back.
“Smells good.”

He handed me the tray and maneuvered the steaks from
the grill. He smirked. “Well I made them, didn’t I? What’d you
expect, little brother?”

“Don’t let it go to your head. I was just trying to
be nice.” I shook my head sadly, my eyes dropping to the pile of
steaks then back to my brother. “I mean, look...you ruined them.
They’re all charred.” Laughing, I ducked when Blake tried to smack
the back of my head. I wove back and forth as he chased me up the
stone path. I tried to shove him back when he gained on me.

We were both laughing by the time we pounded up the
porch steps.

“All right, you two, knock it off before your mom
has to send you to your rooms,” Grace said, grinning up at her
husband who swept in to kiss her.

“Mmm...I think I like that idea,” he said against
her mouth.

Grace pushed him back and patted his cheek. “You
only wish.” She stood, ignoring her husband who wrapped himself
around her back. “Here, Will, let me take those for you.”

“Thanks,” I said and passed them off.

Blake followed her in, whispering something in her
ear. Maggie struggled not to laugh, her face red with my brother’s
overt display. I just watched them, no longer affected by that
anticipated twinge of jealousy.

Instead, I smiled at Maggie and reached down to help
her up. I was complete—whole—that place reserved for Maggie no
longer aching to be filled. I pulled her close, and splayed my hand
across her lower back. Her skin still burned me through her
clothes.

“Hungry?” I brushed her bangs from her face,
wondered again how it was possible to love someone so much.

“Starving.”

“Good, because those steaks smell delicious.”

Maggie laughed, and I tightened my hold.

Tenderness filled her eyes as she inclined her head
to the side, her fingers fluttering up to caress my jaw.

I moved to run my lips across her fingers. “I love
you so much, Maggie.”

A soft smile formed on her mouth. “I know.”

~

Maggie

I’d never known what home meant.

To me, it’d been a prison, a place I longed to
escape. A place where horrors were harbored, concealed behind
closed windows and lies.

I looked up at the small house as we pulled into the
drive. That flame I’d once kept buried inside burned bright.

Home.

I knew it now—I knew what it meant.

William pulled into the garage. He pressed a warm
palm to my cheek before he climbed out of the car. The warmth
spread through my consciousness, covered every inch of who I
was.

Jonathan had fallen asleep on the way back from his
grandparents’. William unbuckled our sleeping child from the
backseat. He kissed Jonathan’s head when he pulled him into his
arms. A contented sigh flowed from Jonathan’s mouth as he struggled
to sink further into William’s chest.

William murmured at his head—loved our little
boy.

My spirit soared, the thankfulness I felt
overflowing. How many times had I prayed for someone to save us?
William had.

I followed them inside and down the hall. We passed
by the small office where William did contract work. He wanted to
stay close to us during the day in case we needed him, so he’d
begun doing the books for a few of the small businesses around town
from the house.

I flipped on the nightlight in Jonathan’s room so
William could tuck him in bed. Jonathan stirred when William set
him down, blinking as he took in his surroundings. William knelt
down beside him.

“Mommy and Daddy are right across the hall if you
need us, okay, buddy?” William said, his words a simple reassurance
for our son.
We are here
.

Jonathan nodded. “Okay, Daddy.”

Then he closed his eyes and snuggled under the
covers when William pulled them to his chin.

I climbed to my knees beside his bed. “I love you,
Jonathan.”

I placed a kiss on the side of his head and ran my
fingers through his hair. I’d spent so much time fearing for him.
For his future, for his safety, and for his heart. I’d struggled to
supply the needs I didn’t have the strength to provide, to give him
hope when I had none, to give him joy when I had little to share.
All I’d have to give him was my love.

William had shown me that was enough.

William helped me to stand, and a soft smile
filtered across his face as he drew me near and wrapped a strong
arm around my waist. I flattened myself against his warmth, and he
rocked me in the solitude of Jonathan’s room.

“Let me get ready for bed,” I said.

He kissed me gently below my ear. “Don’t be
long.”

“I won’t be.”

As if I could stay away from him for long.

He turned his attention back to Jonathan as I headed
out the door.

In the bathroom, I tugged my shirt over my head and
shrugged out of my jeans. Sometimes my mind still fought to
recognize what had happened that night, and other times, the
memories would slip over me like the residual of a nightmare. My
blood would run cold as I was struck again by what Troy had planned
to do.

I still had at least two more surgeries to remove
the scars, but even when they were gone, I would never be able to
forget.

William had saved us. He had been willing to give it
all. He would have given his life to save ours. Instead he’d taken
Troy’s.

I knew it haunted him more than he’d ever admit.

I’d never known more fear than the day that had been
spent in that field. Troy had snapped. The true derangement he’d
hidden behind a hardened exterior had finally broken free. I’d
begged him to spare Jonathan, telling him I’d do anything if he’d
let him go. It’d only incited Troy more.

By nightfall, I’d given up and succumbed to the
realization that it was the end. Again, I had failed, and my son
would pay the ultimate price for every mistake I had made.

And then William was there.

Shaking off the memories, I washed my face, brushed
my teeth, and slipped into the little white nightgown. I paused in
the doorway between our bathroom and our bedroom. William was
stretched out on our bed. His was propped up on a pillow that
rested against the headboard, wearing only pajama bottoms. His body
was lean and strong, and his hair flopped over his eye as he angled
his head so he could see the book he read in the light from the
small lamp on the nightstand.

A thrill shot through my middle. It was a feeling I
couldn’t quite describe, something that hinted at desire, though it
went so much deeper than that. It was unending trust, an
overwhelming love, and an intense passion. A consuming need that
made me want to bury myself in the man who smiled over at me when
he noticed me standing there.

“Hey you,” he said as he placed his book on the
nightstand and shifted to his side.

There’d been so many things I’d never been able to
appreciate before. The way his bare feet looked when he stood on
the tile floor, how rumpled he was in the morning, how he squinted
when he was absorbed in what he read.

But all this time, I knew him.

I knew the kindness and the goodness.

None of what I felt was a result of my past or
anything I’d been through in my life. I wasn’t clinging to William
as a savior or blinded by the circumstances.

Underneath all the scars that lined my body and
lined my soul, William saw me. And he loved me as much as I loved
him.

I crossed the room, and the hem of the little white
eyelet nightgown I wore brushed over the tops of my thighs. I’d
picked it out just for him—just for tonight. I’d been building up
to this, searching for the courage to find my voice, for the place
inside me that knew it was okay to ask for what I
wanted
.

His expression shifted when I climbed on top of him
and straddled his lap. I leaned in and kissed his mouth, grasping
his face as I showered this man who’d been willing to sacrifice
everything for me and our son with love.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled with a smile
against my mouth.

“Kissing you.”

He laughed low. It was a sound that originated
somewhere deep inside of him, and he grinned and flipped me onto my
back.

I gasped when he pounced on me.

“I like this,” he said with his mouth at the strap
of my nightgown. He nudged it aside with his nose. He kissed my
shoulder, the warmth of his mouth traveling over my collarbone and
under my jaw. He pulled back to look at me. The emotion in his eyes
was so powerful—enough to fill me up and sustain my life. He ran
his knuckles down my cheek. “But I love this.”

I felt the flush that washed my face and neck, a
feeling of innocence that sent butterflies flitting through my
belly.

I touched his face and got lost in the man who had
always made me feel this way—both special and normal. The man with
gentle hands and a pure heart.

He edged the straps lower. His hands ignited a fire
where they caressed over my skin.

The night when I stood in his childhood bedroom and
he’d first told me he loved me, I’d known it. It was the night he’d
made a choice to fight for me, no matter what the consequences. And
I knew it now.

I wanted it to be him. In every capacity. In every
way.

I ran my hands up his arms and palmed his perfect
face. My nerves raced as I searched the eyes of the man I’d would
never stop loving.

“Marry me?” My voice broke when I uttered the words
that were filled with hope for a future that for so long I’d never
believed I’d have.

William blinked softly, as if he had to take a
moment to comprehend my words, and then he pulled my hand from his
face and pressed my palm to his mouth. “Do you have any idea how
happy that would make me, Maggie? I meant it then and I mean it
now. Nothing could make me happier than promising you my life.”

But he’d
already promised it. He had been willing to give it. For me. For
our son.

Finally, I was brave enough to give him mine.

As many as one in three girls and
one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their
childhood.

-Briere, J., Eliot, D.M. Prevalence
and Psychological Sequence of Self-Reported Children Physical and
Sexual Abuse in General Population: Child Abuse and Neglect, 2003,
27 10. —10/01/2012

If you need help, please call
ChildHelp at 1-800-422-4453

One in every four women will
experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

An estimated 1.3 million women are
victims of physical abuse by an intimate partner each
year.

Almost one-third of female
homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by
an intimate partner.

-National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence —10/01/2012

If you need help, please call The
National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

Read more by A. L.
Jackson

Pulled ~
A story of attraction and separation, of destiny and duty, of
a love so strong it refuses to give up even when all others
have.

Take This Regret
~
They say everyone
deserves a second chance.

Connect with A. L. Jackson at
www.aljacksonbooks.blogspot.com