When We Collide (32 page)

She barely raised her head.

“I came to tell you I’m leaving…with Maggie and
Jonathan. They’re not safe, and I’m going to do whatever I have to
do to change that.” My voice wavered, and her hand trembled beneath
mine. “I missed so much…Blake’s wedding, the girls, the last years
of Aunt Lara’s life.
You
. I spent so much time running from
what I left behind here, and I don’t want to miss any more. I have
to get them away from here, but I don’t want it to be forever. I
want to come back. I want you to know them. I’m sorry I
disappointed you, but I will never regret loving her. I know what
it looks like, and the only thing I can tell you is all I ever did
was care about her. We kept it a secret because Maggie wanted it
that way. She was scared of…everything.” Her father. Troy.
Possibilities.

Mom struggled to pull in a breath and lifted her
head. Tears streamed freely down her face. “Do you have any idea
what it feels like to find out Jonathan is my grandson? After all
these years of seeing him from a distance, to know he was right
there all this time?”

I squeezed her hand, dipped my head to meet her
eyes. “Do you have any idea what it felt like to find out I have a
son?”

She stilled as we stared at each other. It was as if
I could see it all—experience it with her—the hurt I’d inflicted
and she’d harbored through my absence beneath excuses only a mother
could make. It was all set free, winding itself through her
consciousness, the shock and disillusionment merging, and the
underlying faith she had in me covering it all.

She placed her hand on my cheek. “This kills me,
William. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was hurt...I can’t...” Blinking, I waded through
the memories and tried to put them into words. “It was easier to be
angry, to blame everyone else than to admit how badly Maggie had
hurt me.”

I chewed at the inside of my lip, then proceeded to
tell her everything. What Maggie had done to me, how she’d caused
me to trip headfirst into a love that had weakened my knees. I
attempted to describe how I’d felt that night, when everything had
been torn wide and ripped from me in one moment. What it’d felt
like to turn my back and walk away. How I’d hardened myself,
feigned indifference.
Hid
. The misery that had come with it
and how many mistakes I’d made because of it. The joy I felt
now.

“I’m sorry, Mom. Please believe me.”

She covered her watery mouth with her hand. “I do.
Promise me you’ll be careful...and that you’ll come back.”

Leaning forward, I hugged her, whispered that I
would.

Yeah. I was leaving.

But this time it was different.

When my mother and I had said our goodbyes, I drove
back to the guesthouse, anxious for the moment when Maggie felt
ready. That anxiety compounded when I turned on Blake’s street and
Maggie’s van wasn’t sitting in front of Amber’s house. It hadn’t
moved once the entire week.

Hurrying down the street, I jerked to a stop in the
drive and grabbed my phone as I hopped from the car. Grace was on
the porch, heading my direction. I ran up the steps, and she threw
her arms around my neck. Worry clamped my jaw, the words,
what
happened,
stuck in my throat.

“I’m so proud of you,” Grace whispered near my ear
when she hugged me.

Relief slackened my hold, and Grace stepped
back.

“Maggie was here and she told me about your plan.
She wanted me to give you this.” She held out a folded piece of
paper.

I opened it, reading Maggie’s words.

“She left about twenty minutes ago,” Grace continued
on, “You’d better hurry.”

I reread the message.

I’m ready. I don’t want to wait any longer. Meet me
in Jackson. I love you.

Beneath it was the address.

We’d already decided we were going to ditch Maggie’s
van at one of the long-term parking lots near the airport in
Jackson. We’d report it once Tom gave us some direction, once I
knew who to call and who could help us.

I looked up from the letter.

Grace smiled. “Go.”

I grabbed her and hugged her hard. “Thank you.”

I hit I-55 on the way to Jackson just before ten.
Maggie and Jonathan weren’t more than thirty minutes ahead of me,
but I couldn’t help pushing past the speed limits. Forest rose up
on each side as I sped down the open road, weaving around the few
cars creeping along in the slow lane. Excitement hammered a
staccato at my ribs, crashed with the anxiety that had my stomach
in my throat. It left me lightheaded. Every few seconds I glanced
at the clock glowing on the dash, every minute bringing me closer
to the moment when I got my family back.

I glimpsed the backseat through the rearview mirror.
I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to look back there and see
Jonathan sitting in that spot. Couldn’t fathom how much all of our
lives were going to change. It was all so sudden, yet somehow felt
like a lifetime coming. No, I had no idea how to be a father other
than the burning need I had to protect the child, to wrap him up in
my arms and never let him out of my sight, to love him as much as I
loved his mother.

I figured that was a good start.

As I neared Jackson, the trees cleared and the
freeway became more congested, though nothing like the freeways I’d
grown accustomed to in L.A. I followed the navigation, a thrill
rocketing through my nerves when I exited and took the few turns to
the small lot off the road to the right.

I pulled into an open spot near the front of the
nearly vacant lot. I craned my head as I searched for her van. An
old truck was parked at the far end of the lot, a newer sedan
parked in front, and a shuttle idled in the pickup zone just inside
the gated lot behind the small building. A handful of cars were
parked in the long-term spaces, few enough that I knew Maggie
wasn’t there.

Maggie’s note lay in the passenger seat. I unfolded
it, looked over my shoulder to verify the address.

I grabbed my phone and felt a stir of panic when I
saw it was void of messages.

Cars flew down the road, traveling both directions.
None slowed.

“Damn it, Maggie, where are you?”

Maggie ~ Present Day

Beautiful.

Every part of him.

I had no other way to describe the man who watched
me from the bottom of the street. His hand was raised in a goodbye
that appeared more like a promise of tomorrow, his mouth turned up
in a tender smile of encouragement and devotion.

William would do whatever it took.

I would no longer be the fool who questioned it.

Last night had been something of a dream, a fantasy
I’d played through my mind a million times. A connection I’d only
shared with one man, our bodies and spirits joined, caught up to a
place only the two of us knew existed. Years had not erased it.
Instead it had been amplified in our separation, solidified as a
bond that could never be broken.

As a young woman, William had made me see I could be
loved.

Now, I finally truly believed it.

I turned from him and headed up my sister’s walkway.
Disquiet fluttered its wings in my belly, danced and taunted,
melding with William’s flame that could no longer be contained. The
two combined smoldered as a nagging dread.

For so long, I’d survived in surrender, but just
existing was no longer an option, even when it meant facing every
threat Troy had ever made.

I wanted a future for my son, a chance for him to
really live.

And I wanted a chance for myself.

Pressing the key into the lock, I turned the knob. I
froze when I saw Amber standing just inside.

“Where were you?”

“Amber…”

“I’ve been worried sick about you. I woke up two
hours ago to check on the kids and you were gone.”

I grimaced, hating I’d taken the coward’s road once
again. But I’d wanted just one night for myself. I’d finally made
the decision to take a chance and was going ask William to take
that chance with me. I didn’t want to explain everything to Amber
before I knew for sure myself.

I took a step forward. “I’m sorry, Amber. I didn’t
mean to worry you.”

She sucked her bottom lip in as if trying to bite
back the worry I’d caused her. “I know, I just...I was panicking. I
almost called the cops. I mean, what if...”

I reached out and took her hand, and Amber stilled.
“I need to talk to you.”

She frowned, but turned and led me into the den.
Darkness still shrouded the room. She eased herself onto the couch,
and I sat down facing her.

She remained tense as she anticipated what I would
say.

“I was with William.”

She sat back, blinking in confusion. “Who? You mean,
Blake’s brother?”

I nodded and began to relay every detail of the
story, beginning with the bonfire that had started it all years
before. It was incredibly difficult to tell my sister my secrets.
Not the ones about William, but the ones that had kept me here and
bound me to this place.

I watched as I broke my sister’s heart a little
further.

“Oh my God, Maggie. You stayed to protect me?” she
asked.

“I didn’t tell you so you’d feel guilty, Amber. I
told you because I need you to understand why I made the choices I
did, and so you’d understand why I’m leaving now.”

“Maggie,” she choked over my name. I understood
everything in it.
It wasn’t fair, it shouldn’t have happened, I
should have just told her.
“You need to call the police. Troy
shouldn’t be out there.”

“I’m going to...I just...have to get out of here
first, get Jonathan far away.”

She blinked and wiped her nose. “When are you
leaving?”

I averted my attention to the floor, pulsing the
hand I held in my lap in and out of a fist. “I don’t
know…soon.”

Amber touched my cheek. “What are you waiting
for?”

Lifting my head, I met the face of my baby sister.
“I don’t really know.”

She smiled a sad smile. “Maggie, go.”

I reached for her hand and squeezed it. It was Amber
who pulled me into an embrace.

“Thank you, Amber.”

“You have no idea how much I’m going to miss you,
but I’m so happy for you. You deserve to be
happy
. I’m so
proud of you.”

I understood my sister’s relief. Worry had plagued
her as she’d glimpsed my life repeating our childhood. It had been
Amber who’d finally sent our father away. She was the one who’d
found the courage to make the call and confirm all the rumors of
the town.

For me it had come too late.

Pulling away, I ran my fingers down the side of her
face. “Please don’t cry.” I tried to smile, but tripped over the
emotion building in my throat. “I promise it’s not forever.”

Amber released a soggy laugh and wiped under her
eyes. “I know…this is a good day.”

Standing, I straightened my shirt. “Okay then.” I
forced the air through my lips. “I’m going to get Jonathan. I have
to somehow explain all of this to him.”

Amber nodded and stood.

“I’ll give you two some time.” She walked from the
den and disappeared into the quiet house.

I crept into the children’s room. Early morning
light glowed behind the drapes. The room was tossed in silhouettes
and shadows. Samantha was in the crib, tiny breaths pressed in and
out of her open mouth as she slept on her stomach. She looked so
big there, no longer an infant. Sadness swelled. I had no idea how
long it would be before I’d see my niece again. I ran my hand down
her back and murmured that I loved her. She barely stirred.

Christopher was sprawled on his back in his racecar
bed, one foot hanging over the side, and his covers on the floor. I
kissed his forehead, wishing I didn’t have to say goodbye.

But it was time.

I looked to the floor where Jonathan slept on a
pallet made of thick blankets.

My precious boy.

Kneeling on the floor, I gently prodded him, my
hands a caress as I broke into his slumber. At first, he resisted
with a groan, and then he sat up and rubbed his eye with his
fist.

“Hi, Mommy,” he said, his head cocked to the side
with a sleepy grin. His blond bed head was sticking up every which
way.

Affection pushed past the boundaries of my
heart.

“Good morning, my love,” I whispered into the quiet,
reaching out to cup his cheek. He leaned into the touch, his face
full of trust. “It’s time to get up,” I said.

Without a word, he climbed to his feet and accepted
my hand. Jonathan shuffled his feet restlessly behind me as I led
him by the hand back to the den. I stole a glance at him. Those
eyes that always saw more than they should were acute with
awareness, feeding off the nerves that rocked me now.

“Come here, baby.” I lifted him in my arms, breathed
in his warmth and light, and allowed myself to finally
believe
. “Mommy needs to tell you something really
important.”

I settled him on my lap in the rocker angled beneath
the window. It felt so similar to the place where we’d clung to
each other so many times. A slow calm surrounded me. I rocked us in
a peaceful sway as he snuggled against my chest. My fingers ran
loosely through his hair. He released a contented sigh, curled up
closer, and placed a warm palm at the base of my neck.

I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I’d felt
more complete, more loved, than now, William’s touch alive on my
skin, and our son’s spirit pulsing, in sync with mine.

How had I ever questioned it?

“Do you remember Mommy’s friend…William?”

Jonathan nodded in instant recognition, making the
fine hairs on his head tickle my chin.

I deliberated and searched for the best way to
explain. “What would you think if we went away with him?”