Whisky Melody: Rock Star Romance, New Adult College Romance (Tennessee Romance Book 2) (14 page)

“Well, if you wanna try, all you have to do is show up. Tonight. At the Royale. We can work the rest out later.”

She wanted to say yes. She really did. Unfortunately, her mind still swam with questions:
Is it really smart to go with the band right now? What if it really takes off, like Logan wants? Could I really leave my studies behind for Whisky Lullaby? Do I really want to? I love Logan—or at least I think I do—but will he and the band be…enough?

Logan released her. “I won’t pressure you, Ash. Sure, it’d be nice to have you at Royale tonight. If you decide to join us, just come through the back door and tell security you’re with the band. If not, just enter the normal way and cheer us on. Either way, onstage or in the crowd, I’ll be happy to see you,” he said, then gave her a kiss.

After they broke apart, he headed out the door, leaving Ashley alone in that deserted place, her heart and mind in utter conflict over what she really wanted and who she really wanted to be.

It had never occurred to her, on the day she’d boarded that plane for Tennessee, that she would find herself suddenly and irrevocably immersed in something so much bigger than herself. She had no idea then that she would not only become a better musician, but one others counted on. Being part of that band, a group made up of such very different people, each with their own goals and dreams, was not something she’d ever expected, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to walk away from that entirely. Then again, she wasn’t sure how long she could stick with it either, before her own hopes and dreams took her in a different direction.

And what about the others?
she wondered.
Do they want the same things Logan does?
She felt silly for not knowing that. As much time as they’d all spent together, she had never even thought about asking any of them about their plans, about what they really wanted. Of course, they all loved music as much as they loved being alive. She knew that was what they were most passionate about. What she didn’t know was what they all wanted to get out of it.
Are they all after fortune and glory like Logan,
she pondered
, or is there more to it than that?

She also had to consider what she truly wanted out of music.
Do I want life to consist of small rooms filled with just the sound of my cello or large auditoriums swelling with the sounds of a symphony? Would I more enjoy crazy venues like The Cave, pounding with rock and pop beats and the loud, roaring crowds, or do I need a quieter, more reserved life and career, just composing my own music and playing it softly for a quiet audience?

It was complicated, not simple at all. For all intents and purposes, Ashley found herself stuck between rock-n-roll and a cello case, two polar opposites. Logan wanted her to agree to stay in one place forever, but she couldn’t do that. It simply wasn’t possible for her to vow to lullaby with Whisky forever.

Ashley still wanted Europe and a chance to go to grad school. She still wanted to play alongside the greatest of all time, to write scores that would be taught to younger musicians who were learning classical music behind her. Those were her real, true dreams, and she had worked very hard to make them come true. The root of those dreams, though, was music itself. Whether she was playing in the band or playing her cello alone in her room, it was the music itself that mattered to her. She basked in the glory of the creation of it, the emotion that fed into it. There was just something about a beat knocking along with a swell of string or a slow riff or a thundering drum solo. It had everything to do with loudness and quietness, tempo, rhythm, and the silence in between the notes. Music was her first and forever love, and while she adored what Whisky Lullaby played, she couldn’t dismiss her admiration for the melodies that had come into existence long before her newborn ears ever heard a sound on Planet Earth, the music that had stood the test of time, entertaining and soothing audiences for centuries. She would always need music, always need to play it and re-create it. She would always strive to create something as soul-stirring and powerful as that.

Logan was offering to put music in her life for good, but only on the condition that she’d have only one variety of it.
Can’t he see that I cannot and will not ever be able to settle for that? It’s like…asking me to eat the same food forever.
Sure, chocolate chip cookies are good, but don’t tell me I can never have cheesecake again,
she thought, then grinned when her stomach growled at the analogy. It was clear she couldn’t have it all; if she stayed in the band, her classical career would fade away, but if she insisted on following the beckoning call of her cello, she would never again feel the excitement of being onstage with Whisky Lullaby. She wished it didn’t, but something had to be sacrificed.

Her breath caught in her throat. She walked to the windows and looked down at the campus she had come to love so much. “Wait,” she said. “Who says I can’t have it all? So what if I can’t totally commit to the band? Lots of things could happen in the next four years,” she told herself, not at all embarrassed to be having that one-sided conversation, since there was no one else in the room to hear it anyway. “Maybe I’ll be offered a scholarship to study abroad. Maybe Whisky will land a huge record deal. Hey, maybe Logan will pop the question, and we can have a baby and start him off on a kazoo, then a harmonica and a little guitar and the piano and…” She stopped and laughed, then instantly frowned.
Or maybe we’ll just cave in to the pressure and break up, like some damn sad country song,
she thought, though she sincerely hoped that that last would never happen.

The point was that anything at all could happen, and she knew that if she was too busy hiding because she didn’t know which road to take, she risked missing out on all of it. Ultimately, she decided she could have it all for as long as it lasted. However it turned out, she had to trust that Logan would understand in the end. She had to believe he would realize that her dreams were different than his and that he would her fly free to go after them, just as she was willing to let him chase his down.

Her decision was made, so all she had to do was get to the venue. She hurried into her bedroom and threw on the first outfit she found, her band t-shirt and a pair of tight jeans. She brushed her hair until it practically glistened, adding some hair product to make it poof up just the right amount. She dug out the makeup she owned, then placed a dark rim of eyeliner along her eyelids and some red lip stain on her mouth. She grabbed her stuff and headed out, ready to be part of Whisky Lullaby once again, even if it wasn’t necessarily going to be a lifetime starring role.

Of course she wanted to be a permanent fixture in Logan’s life, and she knew how much Royale meant to him and how much he was counting on her to be there, for and with him, and she wasn’t about to let him down. “I’m not sure what my big dream is yet,” she muttered to herself, “but in the meantime, I see nothing wrong with helping him chase his.”

Breaking Down

By Whisky Lullaby

I could say I’m sorry a thousand times,

but you wouldn’t believe me, at least not tonight.

I gave it everything, but it didn’t come out right.

So much for sorry, at least tonight.

I could say I’m sorry a thousand times,

but you wouldn’t believe me, at least not tonight.

I’ve lost your love, and I know how.

There’s a lot going on, and there’s no way ‘round.

I did what I did, and my sorrys are all worn out.

We’re breaking up, and I’m breaking down.

I knew better than to push you

in a wrong direction. I was a fool.

I’m doing my best to not hit the curve,

going too fast, and no way to swerve.

I’ve lost your love, and I know how.

There’s a lot going on, and there’s no way ‘round.

I did what I did, and my sorrys are all worn out.

We’re breaking up, and I’m breaking down.

I hit the wall. There’re no safety belts.

Have to work it out, ’cause there’s nobody else.

I want to be with you. You’re the one,

but I crashed it up before it’s even begun.

I’ve lost your love, and I know how.

There’s a lot going on, and there’s no way ‘round.

I did what I did, and my sorrys are all worn out.

We’re breaking up, and I’m breaking down.

I’ve lost your love, and I know how.

There’s a lot going on, and there’s no way ‘round.

I did what I did and my sorrys are all worn out.

We’re breaking up, and I’m breaking down.

***

“So does this mean you’re here to sing?” Logan asked hesitantly when Ashley walked backstage.

“Of course,” she said, darting her eyes around to the others. “I mean, as long as the band will still have me.” She really did wonder, since she’d basically quit and left them hanging; it wasn’t as if any of them had signed a contract or anything.

Charlie gave her a bland look, and Zip busied himself with something else so he wouldn’t have to look at her at all.

“Um…guys…”

Logan grinned. “Of course we’ll have you. What would make you think otherwise?”

There were lots of reasons, but she decided not to mention them.

Logan caught her by the arm. “Hey, I need to talk to you a minute.”

She instantly panicked, certain she was about to be kicked out of the band in private.

He steered her out of the dressing room and into a small storage room just beyond it. He closed the door tightly and looked at her, and the expression on his face told her all she needed to know.

“Look,” she whispered, “I know we need to talk this out, but we don’t have time right now.”

“I know,” he said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as the noise of the crowded venue filled both their ears.

Ashley knew it was neither the time nor the place, but she wanted him, maybe more than she had ever wanted him before. Her eyes locked on his gorgeous face, and her nipples instantly stiffened, straining against the cotton of her t-shirt. The dressing room was steps away, and there were people everywhere, but she couldn’t help staring at him hungrily. “Hey, I asked if the band will have me,” she said, “but how about you? You wanna have me, Logan?”

“Huh? Now?” he asked, shocked.

“I mean, I’ve missed you, and I just want—”

She didn’t even have time to finish the thought before he collided with her, slamming her against the wall with a round of passionate kisses that dizzied her. She whimpered as her tongue found his, teasing it into a dance that made them both lose their breath. Her toes dug into his calves as she climbed up the lean length of his body. Her legs wrapped around his narrow waist, and he turned to head for the dressing room, nearly toppling them both to the floor once in his haste to get there. She’d completely forgotten what she was going to say to him.

As soon as they stepped inside the dressing room, her fingers found his buttons. The satiny texture of his skin and the hard flex of muscles below sent her into a dizzying spin of desire and need. In an instant, he filled her palm, all hot throbbing flesh and thickness. She lowered herself to her knees. His masculine scent filled her nose, and she inhaled it deeply, allowing herself a moment.

Heavy veins wrapped around his shaft, pulsing visibly. His head was purple, engorged and excited by her touch and the anticipation of what she was going to do next. Fluid had gathered at the very tip, and she took him into her mouth, her tongue swiping across that silken skin to taste those clear little droplets of his pleasure.

Her hand cupped his balls as she drew him down her throat. His groan was low and guttural, and his ass rocked back and forth, making his hips move in a perfect dance. His member slid farther down her throat, and she tightened her lips around him, applying pressure as her fingers caressed the heavy weight of his sac.

Logan moaned and dug his hands in her hair, then yanked hard before his fingers released the silken strands and cupped the back of her head instead. He pulled out of her mouth with a wet popping noise, then dragged her to her feet before his mouth met hers again. The backs of her knees met the edge of a loveseat, and she went down, sprawled haphazardly onto the floor.

Her legs parted, and her knees drew up and back as he clambered on top of her. Every motion and movement brought his body into contact with hers, and each time their flesh met, little flares of need rocketed through her body. Her need intensified with every second, with every caress. His mouth met her neck, then her breasts, his teeth and tongue teasing her erect nipples into even stiffer points.

His hand delved into the wetness between her legs, and then he slid his fingers inside her, pressing down hard on her clit with his thumb. The need for release was strong, so very strong that she almost came just from that pressure alone. The friction and heat created by his fingers so deep inside her snug passageway sent her into a frenzy she almost couldn’t control.

Logan positioned himself above her and pulled a condom from his wallet. He tore open the foil wrapper with his teeth and unrolled it hastily.

Her hips arched upward as he thrust into her, taking all of her body captive. Her eyes closed as he freed one hand and found the high-standing ridge of her clit again, massaging it firmly. Waves of pleasure spiked and rolled through Ashley’s reawakened body. Her eyes flashed open, then closed again, and she panted heavily as she strained toward that high peak and the climax just beyond it. She soon reached that precipice, then quickly toppled over it. Moments later, she felt the thick throbs of his climax deep within her walls.

He strained for a moment, his entire body tight with the force of his passion, and then he slowly relaxed. He rained little kisses down on her face and neck, and she let her body go limp as his weight met hers and settled down atop her body. He kissed her again, deeply and passionately, like a decadent dessert to finish off a divine entrée.

She stirred beneath him. “Have you noticed we’ve been having a lot of sex after we fight?”

“Nothing wrong with fighting then.” He stood carefully and helped her to her feet. He dropped the condom in a half-full mop bucket, and it actually sank into the dingy water.

She giggled, holding her hand to her lips. “Um…”

“I know, but what do you want from me?”

“Everything.” She pressed against him.

He smiled and held her close for a moment, then hugged her again. “Everything, huh? Gee, you don’t ask much.”

She stepped back and smiled at him. “Okay, well, we’d better get back in there before they decide we’ve both quit the band.”

“Right. The show isn’t over till the hot lady sings,” he said with a wink, then took her by the hand and led her out.