Whispers (16 page)

A
s Teri meandered down the Halemauu Trail, the thought crossed her mind that she had no idea where she was going. She had only half listened when the men mentioned the cabin’s name they were planning to stay at tonight.

How hard can this be? I’ll stay on the trail until I come to a cabin. They will be there already, kicking back, and they will tease me for being such a slowpoke. I don’t care; I plan to enjoy this trip
.

She thought of how Gordon had stopped to appreciate the eucalyptus fragrance. That’s the way she wanted to experience this adventure, fragrance by fragrance, sight by sight, and sound by sound. The strange thing about the crater was that the deeper in she went, the quieter it became.

How could those guys have gotten ahead of me so fast? I didn’t take a wrong turn, did I? I couldn’t have. There haven’t been any places to turn off. This has to be the right way
.

Teri stopped for a drink of water at a curve in the trail. As she stood there, with her foot resting on a pitted volcanic rock,
the clouds that had been floating in and out of the center of the crater began to part. The most brilliantly colored rainbow she had ever seen arched before her.

“Oh, Father, it’s beautiful!” she whispered. Spontaneously, Teri put down her water bottle and started to applaud while she laughed aloud. Then she watched as the wind drew the cloud curtain over the valley once more, and the rainbow slipped back into the invisible realm. “That was incredible!”

Hitting the dirt road again, Teri whistled to herself her grandmother’s favorite hymn, “How Great Thou Art.” When she reached the chorus, she sang aloud. Tears formed in her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this in love with God. It filled her like nothing else. As the satisfaction seeped into her soul, she wished she had someone to share the moment with.

Then she realized she needed to know that someday Scott could enjoy such a spiritual moment with her. Either Scott had to start showing clear evidence that he was committed to Christ, or she would end their relationship, fireworks or no fireworks.

As the last switchback led to more level, grassy ground, Teri saw a cabin and quickened her step. She could see the guys sitting on the grass, eating and shouting out their “turtle” comments to her as she huffed and puffed their way.

“Tease me all you want,” Teri said, unstrapping her pack and lowering it to the ground with a thump, “but I saw a rainbow, and I bet you didn’t!”

They all glanced at each other as if to say they had seen so many rainbows in their lifetimes why would one more make a difference?

“This wasn’t just any rainbow. It was
the
rainbow of the day, of the week, maybe of the whole year!” She dramatically tossed her hands into the air. “And you speedy burritos missed it.”

“Speedy burritos,” one of them repeated, and they all laughed.

Teri gave up and sat down next to Scott, who held out to her a stick of beef jerky. “So why aren’t we inside the cabin?”

“This isn’t the one we’re staying at tonight,” Dan said.

“Where are we staying, or do I not want to know?” Teri asked.

“Let’s just say we’re about a third of the way there,” Gordon said.

“Which means Teri might make it by sometime around midnight,” one of the men teased.

“I can keep up. Don’t worry about me.”

“Well, time to get going,” one of the guys said. “We’ll see the rest of you at Kapalaoa Cabin tonight.”

Teri took a quick drink of water. “Let’s go,” she said.

“You need more of a lunch than that,” Scott said. “I’ll stay with you.”

“You don’t have to wait. I can eat while I walk.”

“You sure?” He reached over and drew a stray curl away from the corner of her mouth.

Teri stood and offered her hand to him as if she had to help him up. He grabbed it, pulled himself up to her, and said, “I can see you hiking the Andes someday. I’d like to go back to Peru. You interested?”

She wondered if anyone else had heard him. All the men were shuffling to put on their packs. “I guess that depends.”

“On what?” Scott said, helping her hoist her pack back on. She realized she had felt much more energetic with it off.

“We have a few things we need to talk through,” Teri said softly. “I was doing some pretty intense thinking on those switchbacks.”

“Oh yeah?” Scott’s hair had relaxed from its combed position, and the wayward strands hung over his temples. “That’s
funny, because I did some intense thinking myself.”

The rest of the group tromped on ahead while Scott and Teri hung back to talk.

“I want you in my life, Teri. I’ve tried to understand what you want. I’ve tried to take it slow like you asked. I’ve tried to give you your space. I haven’t called every day or hovered over you because I didn’t want you to feel smothered.”

“I don’t feel smothered. I actually feel … well, kind of hurt that you haven’t been coming over or calling, especially when I hurt my foot.”

Scott shook his head. “Seems we had a misunderstanding, then. I thought you were pushing me away, so I backed off. That’s not the way I want things to be. But it’s up to you. Are you ready for things to be different?”

Teri hesitated. She thought she was, but being unclear on where Scott stood spiritually was something she wanted to resolve. “May I ask you a few questions?”

“Sure. You mind if we walk as we talk?”

Teri followed him down the trail and said, “Scott, I need to know where you stand with God. I mean, I know you said you became a Christian in high school and that you sort of wandered away in college but now you’re ready to get back into church and everything. Well, I guess I want to hear your heart.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you know, are you saved? Do you love God? Have you asked Jesus to forgive your sins and come into your heart? Is he the Lord of your life?” Talking to people about spiritual matters had never been Teri’s strong point. She suspected her questions were too direct.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Scott started to laugh and said, “Man, what church wouldn’t like to make you its Sunday school truant officer!”

“This is important to me, Scott. I want to know how important it is to you.”

“Very.”

She waited for him to elaborate.

“I believe all the same things you do, babe. Part of the reason I’m so crazy about you is that you’re a good influence on me. Are you upset because I haven’t gone to church with you yet? You know it’s because of my work schedule. As soon as I’ve been there long enough to ask for a shift change, I’ll start going with you. You
are
planning to move here, aren’t you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“What’s to decide? I thought you were going to ask your friend back in Glenbrooke for the tamale business start-up money and get that whole dream in motion. Dan is certainly convinced.”

“I do think it’s a good idea. It’s just that …”

“That you don’t know where things stand with me? I think I’ve made my intentions about as clear as can be. I want you here, babe.”

Instead of feeling more secure and stronger about her relationship with Scott, she found herself shrinking back and thinking,
You want me here, but I don’t know what I want
. It also bothered Teri that he had started to call her “babe.” Was that to avoid any more name misunderstandings?

Scott stopped walking and scooped up Teri’s hand in his. A sincere expression rested on his handsome face. “Do you remember what I said awhile ago about relaxing and just letting us happen?”

Teri squeezed his hand. “You’re right.”

He looked into her eyes and in low voice whispered, “Come on, babe. Just let us happen.”

Teri let her eyes speak her response. She felt sure Scott
would take her in his arms and kiss her. But he didn’t. He tightened his grip on her hand and slipped his fingers into her hair. They stood silently in the vastness of the hollow volcano, staring into each other’s eyes.

“We better get going,” Teri said.

Scott released her hand without a word. She felt a little uncomfortable with the way he mesmerized her, playing her emotions to elicit just the right response. She followed him down the trail and tried to sort out her feelings.

Am I feeling these things naturally, or is Scott somehow manipulating me? Our relationship is so intense. I wish I knew what he was really thinking and feeling. I hear his words, but somehow I don’t think I’ve seen his heart yet
.

Teri silently made that her goal. Before this journey was over, she wanted to see Scott’s true heart, like Gordon had displayed his when he had said, “Good job, God!” as they were swimming. That’s how she wanted to see Scott’s.

The trail took a turn at a sign that said Silversword Loop. Gordon stood waiting there for them.

“I’m acting my role as the tour guide,” he said. “Have you heard about the silversword yet?”

“I haven’t,” Teri said.

“Do we have to take this loop?” Scott said. “It looks like the trail goes straight here.”

“The loop brings you out on the same trail, but it adds about a quarter mile.”

“Let’s just keep going,” Scott said, forging ahead.

Teri let go of his hand. “I’d like to see this, Scott. I didn’t come all this way to miss all the good stuff.”

“It’s just a bunch of plants. You can see them anywhere.”

“Actually,” Gordon corrected, “this crater is the only place in the world where the silversword grow. True, they are sprinkled
throughout the crater, but this is the most concentrated bunch of them on the planet.”

Teri gave Scott an “I told you so” look and turned to join Gordon. “I’m not going to miss this,” she said.

Scott reluctantly followed her.

“Right,” Gordon said, clearing his throat and beginning his tour-guide speech. “Well, you can see the silverswords at various stages of growth.”

“They look like yucca plants,” Teri said. She scanned the silver-colored, cactus-like plants scattered around them. Some were tiny sprouts just popping up from the volcanic soil. Others were as tall as she, with a wide variety of sizes between the tiny and the tall.

“Members of the sunflower family, actually.”

“Really? They look more like cactus.” Teri stopped to look at the silver spikes that stuck out from around the base and curled up. “They look like little porcupines dressed in tutus!” She caught a glimpse of Scott out of the corner of her eye. He looked annoyed.

“These little ‘porcupines,’ ” Gordon continued, apparently unperturbed by her remark, “take anywhere from four years to twenty to grow in that mass of stiletto-shaped leaves. Then, at some mysterious point, they send up a stalk … there, like that one.”

“What are all those purple things?”

“The blossoms. They can have more than a hundred blossoms and shoot up to nine feet tall. They bloom only one time. It lasts about a month, and then the plant dies.”

“That’s amazing,” Teri said. “Think of having to wait up to twenty years to bloom and then dying after only a month.”

“You make it sound as if you’re talking about a person,” Scott said, edging on down the trail, trying to lead them onward.

“Oh, that would be tragic,” Teri said, automatically falling in line behind Scott. “To wait twenty years to fall in love, only to have it last a month, and then you die.”

Scott turned and gave her an “oh, brother” look.

“Come on, Scott!” she teased, swatting at the back of his pack. “Where’s your sense of romance?”

“It got tired of waiting around here listening to ‘Nature Boy’ and ran on ahead of us to the end of the trail.” He quickened his pace. “We better try to catch up with it. You wouldn’t want me to lose my sense of romance now, would you?”

Teri glanced back at Gordon, who was right behind her. She gave a little shrug and sheepish grin as if to apologize for Scott’s comment.

Gordon’s intense blue eyes fixed on hers. “I’d wait twenty years,” he said just loud enough for her to hear.

Shifting her backpack and focusing on the trail, Teri thought,
Wait twenty years for what? To fall in love? I don’t think you have that much time, buddy! Twenty years, and you’ll be …

“Gordon, how old are you?”

“Thirty-four.”

Thirty-four sounded old to Teri. She couldn’t imagine being thirty-four and not married. Or being thirty-four and saying she would wait twenty more years for the right person. The more she thought about it, the better off she was with Scott.

She allowed herself a leisurely daydream in which she and Scott were married and had two or three kids. They were hiking down this same trail with their little ones. The boys had on hiking boots and were trying hard to keep up with their daddy’s long strides. Little Emily, their two-year-old, rode on Scott’s shoulders. She had blond hair like her daddy’s, and it hung in wild curls like Teri’s. In her daydream she was pregnant
with their fourth child and healthy and trim as possible for being four months along.

Teri thought about how wonderful it must feel to be pregnant, to carry a tiny life inside that was a part of herself and a little part of … Scott? Scott. Yes, Scott’s children would be gorgeous, no doubt.

But could she marry him? Was he really the one? He had certainly made his intentions clear. If only it didn’t feel so forced.

Teri watched his hulking frame as he strode down into a valley in the crater that was lined with dark cinders. They crushed shiny black obsidian rocks beneath their feet. He was the essence of strength and confidence. Scott Robinson could have any woman he wanted, and he had chosen Teri.

Come on, Scott, just show me your true heart, and then I’ll know for sure
.