Whispers (19 page)

His words echoed in her fitful sleep that night and the next
morning while she and Annie shopped in Lahaina. Teri wanted to take home a few souvenirs and had convinced Annie to walk down Front Street with her to poke around all the little tourist shops.

It turned out to be a good activity for the two sisters. They took their time and even lingered over a light lunch at one of the cafés. The conversation mostly centered around the baby and the tamale business.

“I’m glad you’re coming back to stay,” Anita said as they drove back home. “It’ll be good to have you here.”

Teri wasn’t sure if Anita’s comments were sincere or if perhaps she had picked up on Teri’s lack of confidence and was doing a little fishing. Teri had almost opened up to Gordon at church Sunday. She had spoken to him briefly and had wanted to ask his advice on the big decisions in her life, but Anita was standing there with them so Teri had said nothing.

Staring out the car’s window at the lush, west Maui mountains, Teri thought she was being paranoid again. Annie wanted her here. Scott wanted her here. Gordon had even said something about looking forward to her being here when he returned from seminary at Christmas time. Dan couldn’t wait to start the tamale business. She was the only one who had cold feet.
Here I go again, analyzing all the adventure out of my life
.

They drove down Scott’s street on the way home, and Teri noticed his car out front. “Stop here, Annie. Scott’s home. I want to surprise him. I’ll have him bring me home later.”

Anita slowly pulled over to the side of the road. “Teri, I’ve been wanting to tell you something.”

Teri’s hand was on the door handle, about to open it and hop out. She looked at her sister impatiently, prepared to defend herself or defend Scott, as she usually did. “What?”

“Dan said that on the backpack trip he and some guys were talking about the baby and everything. One of the guys was Scott.” Anita paused.

“So?” Teri could feel her temper flaring. How dare Anita try to toss in some poisoned seeds about Scott just before Teri saw him? Why didn’t Anita bring any of this up over lunch? “What’s your point?”

“Dan said that Scott made it clear he didn’t want to have any children. Ever.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I thought you should know,” Anita snapped.

“Okay, now I know.” Teri got out and stomped up to the front door.
Why does she do that to me? Just because she knows I want to have a bunch of kids someday, she has to needle me about some stupid thing Scott supposedly said. I was there, and I didn’t hear him say anything like that
.

Teri knocked briskly on the door frame as she tried to see through the mesh on the screen door. “Scott?” she called out.

A young, slender blond wearing a backless sundress stepped out of the kitchen and came to the door. “Hi,” she said.

Teri stared at her. “Is Scott here? I saw his car and I …”

“No, he’s at work. We traded cars today. Do you want to leave a message for him or anything?”

“No,” Teri said, backing up. “That’s okay. Thanks.”

She turned to go, but her shock and curiosity wouldn’t let her walk away. She looked back at the gorgeous woman who was still standing behind the screen door. Allowing her grit to kick in, Teri asked, “By the way, what’s your name?”

“Julie. Do you want me to tell Scott you stopped by?”

“No,” Teri muttered under her breath as she turned to go. “Don’t bother.”

Y
ou win!” Teri shouted, storming into the house and slamming the screen door behind her. “You were right all along, Annie. Go ahead and gloat.”

Anita was on the phone in the kitchen. She tucked her head and covered her free ear with her hand. “Yes, she’s right here,” Anita said and held out the phone to Teri. “It’s Scott.”

“I don’t want to talk to him!” Teri said.

“He says it’s important.” Anita held out the phone.

“Oh, I bet it is.”

“What am I doing?” Anita said into the air. “I’m not getting in the middle of this!” She plopped the receiver onto the counter and walked away with her hands up in surrender. “I just live here,” she sputtered. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t want to know!” She slipped into her bedroom and closed the door hard.

Teri stared at the receiver, which was rocking on the kitchen counter. She could hear Scott’s muffled voice.

Feeling like a volcano was about to erupt inside her, Teri grabbed the phone and shouted, “I don’t think you have anything to say to me, Scott Robinson, that could ever change my opinion of you!”

“What is your problem?” he shouted back.

“My
problem? You’re the one with the problem!”

“What are you raving about?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m raving about.” She tried to lower her voice and gain some kind of emotional control. “I stopped by your house because I saw you car and guess who answered the door?”

Scott didn’t respond.

“
Julie
answered the door.”

“So?”

“So, she acted like she lived there!”

“She does,” Scott said.

Teri dropped into the nearest chair. Her mind was boggled.

“Julie is Bob’s girlfriend. She moved in a couple of weeks ago. Didn’t I tell you?”

“Bob’s girlfriend?” Teri felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach.

“Yeah, Bob’s girlfriend. Are you having a bad hormone day or something?”

Teri didn’t answer.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes,” Teri said in a small voice.

“I was calling to tell you that our dinner reservations are at seven.”

“Seven,” Teri repeated, her voice still as small as a mouse’s.

“Okay,” Scott said in an even voice, regaining control. “Seven. I’ll pick you up around 6:30. It’s a nice place so you might want to dress up a little.”

“Okay,” Teri said. “Scott, I …” She was about to say she was
sorry but then remembered how much that irritated him.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you too,” he said and hung up.

Teri sat still for a long time. Her brain had turned to mush, and her emotions were skittering on the edge of a deep precipice. Anita inched her way out of her room and pulled up a chair next to Teri’s. She sat there, waiting for Teri to speak.

“Is this what love does? Makes you crazy?” Teri finally said in a monotone voice.

“It’s supposed to heal you,” Anita said softly.

“It’s me,” Teri said, the tears finally forming in her glazed eyes. “I’m no good at relationships. You said it yourself. I analyze all the romance out. Scott says I’m rigid and paranoid. He’s right.”

“It’s not you, Teri,” Anita said in a firm yet gentle voice. “When the right man enters your life, you’ll know. It won’t be like this.”

“The right man? Scott is the right man for me. There will never be anyone more perfect than Scott. He’s any woman’s dream come true.”

“Then let any woman have him,” Anita said, picking up steam. “He’s not the right man for you. Think about it, Teri! Open your eyes for one minute and look at what this relationship with Scott has done to you. You’re not being yourself. You’re performing for this man, trying to be what he expects you to be. That’s not love. It’s a bunch of games. Why are you afraid of letting go of this relationship? It’s not healthy.”

Teri was too exhausted to argue. “Just leave me alone.”

Anita stood up but didn’t leave. She seemed to be ready to say something and then changed her mind and walked off.

Teri forced herself up and went into the bathroom where she stood a long time in the steaming, hot shower.
I’ll just play
it out. That’s all I can do. I’ll go to dinner and see what happens. I can’t listen to Annie or anyone else. I have to call this one. I’ll be able to tell after tonight
.

Scott arrived on time, looking the best Teri had ever seen him. His clothes were casual island-wear, but nothing was casual about the way he looked her over. She wore a sundress that scooped in the front and showed off her bronzed summer skin. When she had put it on, Teri had scrutinized her reflection in the mirror, criticizing herself for not looking as sleek and youthful as Julie had in her backless sundress. But for Teri, this was about as daring as she got. Apparently Scott liked it.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, reaching for her elbow and drawing her close. “Are you ready to go?”

Teri looked up at him and smiled. He smelled clean, like the wind off the ocean. He had to be the most handsome man she had ever seen. And he was with her, holding her, whispering to her, taking her out to dinner. All of her tangled emotions began to smooth out, and the fantasy came back into view.

He drove into Lahaina with his arm across the back of the seat, his fingers woven into her cascading curls. Mellow jazz floated from his car stereo, and neither of them spoke. Teri surmised that this is how things would be once they were married. Their conflicts were all based in a lack of communication and the confusion she felt when they were apart. As long as they were together, like this, nothing could divide them. Teri decided that the sooner they were married, the better. That would silence their critics. As a matter of fact, if she could marry him right this instant, she would.

“I thought about you all day.” Scott’s voice was a low rumble, blending with the music. “This is going to be a perfect evening for us.” His hand broke through her thick mane, and his strong fingers massaged her neck.

“That feels good,” Teri said, her voice barely above a purr.

“I take it you’re feeling a little better than you did when I called this afternoon?”

Her eyes met his as he quickly glanced over. “I owe you an apology, Scott. I was out of line. Thanks for being so understanding.”

She could see his lips curl into a smile. “No problem,” he said. Then drawing back his arm, he used both hands to turn the wheel into a tight parking spot on Front Street. “You ever been to Kimos?”

“Last summer. Did you know that Dan works here on Friday nights?”

Scott opened her door and offered his hand to help her out. “I might be working here on Friday nights,” he said. “They cut back my hours at Halekuali’i. Can you believe it? Sixteen hours a week doing valet parking and twenty-four running room service. Not exactly enough to pay the bills. The sooner we get the tamales going, the better.”

The block of sidewalk between the car and the restaurant was thick with tourists. Yet, in the sea of all those people, the first face Teri saw was Mark Hunter’s. He was walking toward them with his arm around a petite, dark-haired woman, and he noticed Teri too.

“Hi.” Teri spoke first, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk and smiling at Mark. “Scott, you remember Mark, don’t you? Mark Hunter, Scott Robinson.”

The two men amiably exchanged greetings.

“This is Claire,” Mark said. “Claire, this is Teri and Scott.”

The two women greeted one another.

After that no one seemed to know what to say. Dozens of pedestrians walked around them.

“We were just headed for Kimos,” Scott said, tugging on Teri’s hand as a hint that he wanted to get going.

“Dan told me you’re leaving this week,” Mark said quickly.
He was looking at Teri as if no one else were around.

“In two days,” Teri said, her gaze fixed on Mark. She hated this clenched up feeling in her stomach, the feeling that things were still unresolved between them.

“Excuse me,” Mark said, removing his arm from around Claire’s shoulders. “Scott, Claire, would you mind if I spoke privately with Teri for just a moment?”

Scott didn’t let go of Teri’s hand at the same time that she let go of his. She glanced over at Scott, and he released his grip, saying, “I’ll go on to the restaurant and see if our table is ready.”

“I’ll be inside this shop, Mark,” Claire said. She smiled at Teri. “I’m glad to meet you, Teri. Mark has spoken highly of you.” She slipped into the shop filled with T-shirts and beach towels.

Teri felt herself begin to blush as she looked up.

Mark moved to the side of the building, to allow pedestrians to walk unblocked on the sidewalk. “Teri, I wanted to call you. I was going to. Actually, I was going to stop by and see you. But this is better. I’ve been wanting to tell you thanks for, well … I guess for being so direct that morning at breakfast.”

Teri could tell Mark was struggling to form so many words so quickly and be so open. She guessed he had practiced these sentences more than once.

“I want you to know that last summer was really special for me,” he continued. “I enjoyed being with you, and I’ll always have great memories of our time together. And I meant every word I said in my letters and phone calls during this past year. I was eager to see you this summer. And then you got here and …”

“I know,” Teri said. “It just wasn’t the same. That’s nobody’s fault. Relationships change. Claire seems like a wonderful woman for you.”

“But that’s what I wanted to tell you,” Mark said. “I couldn’t
see that. For months she and I worked together, and I never thought of her as anything more than a research partner because I was waiting for you. She knew that. Then when things didn’t fall back into place with you and me, I felt bad. After you released me that morning, I finally saw that I’d been holding on to a sort of illusion about us. Do you know what I mean?”