Authors: Bella Love-Wins
T
ara said
goodbye to Kevin and walked into her parents’ home. They had flown back home to Washington State and shipped most of their things beforehand. Kevin had helped her take some of her bags from the airport taxi to the garage, and brought the rest of her bags to the porch. She waved from the porch stair as he left in the taxi.
She was alone to face her mother, which was how she wanted it. Things had been strained between them since her father’s death last year. Tara’s mother had become more withdrawn since her dad had passed away and Tara suspected she might be suffering from depression.
What Tara didn’t understand was why her mom had become so cold and distant– she missed her dad terribly. Losing him had been brutal, and all the more difficult adjustment as he died when she was away at college. She and her father had been close and she missed their weekly phone calls. She missed knowing he was there to call any time she needed him. Her mother’s attitude toward her changed almost overnight– it was almost as though she blamed Tara for his death– and that came as an additional shock. She sometimes felt as though she’d lost both her parents when her dad died.
Tara looked around the foyer as she walked inside. It brought back old, fond memories. She remembered her dad rushing up from his favorite chair when she had come home for the summer two years ago.
“Hello?” she called out.
After several minutes, she heard footsteps, and her mother entered from the living room. “Hi Tara, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Her mom kissed her on the cheek.
“Yeah, after graduation I figured I would stay at home until I go back.”
“Go back?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion. “Once you graduate, don’t you go forward?”
Tara rolled her eyes, but looked away from her mother’s expectant gaze. She had been practicing this conversation ever since she made the decision to take the year off with Kevin. She wondered why her mom would even care, when she didn’t even bother coming to her graduation.
“I decided to take a year off before going to Montana.” Her mom stared at her, not saying a word, so she continued, “I have a lot I want to do and I feel a year would do me some good.”
She didn’t feel she could tell the truth, but she had to admit, the excuse she gave sounded lame.
“Oh…” her mother said slowly. “So, are you staying home until you discover yourself?” she asked, a deep sarcasm etched in her voice.
“I’ll try not to stay any longer than I have to, Mom,” Tara replied. “I-I have some boxes to grab from outside,” she mumbled, turning on her heel to leave the house. She stood on the porch, fighting every urge to run to her car and drive away. She grabbed the boxes from the porch and brought them into the house. Her mother had already disappeared back to the living room. She sighed, heading up the stairs and going to her old room. She was glad she only had her mother to handle. Kevin had his parents and his brother. She hoped he was doing better than she was.
K
evin tried the doorknob
, only to find the door was locked. He had searched to find his old house key but had no luck. He had to knock. He knocked once and then twice, before trying a third time. Finally, on the third attempt, he heard footsteps. His father answered the door.
His dad’s face revealed a mixture of emotions. It was a relief when he put out his hand for Kevin to shake it.
“Hello, son. This is a surprise.”
Kevin entered the house.
“What are you doing here?” his dad asked.
“Can’t a guy come home without a lot of questions?” he asked, hoping it didn’t come across as rude. He let out a breath and tried to put a smile on his lips. “I have had a couple of crazy weeks,” he replied, using it as an excuse. He looked around. “Where’s Mom and Jake?”
“Your mother went to the grocery store and Jake...well who knows where he is.”
Kevin frowned at the last comment, but he wasn’t surprised. The family all believed his eighteen-year-old brother had Schizophrenia and from some of the stories, it was possible. There was some embarrassment about discussing his condition, and it seemed like his parents preferred to act like Jake was fine. To Kevin, Jake was his brother, so he hoped for the best and was committed to being there for him whenever he could.
“Do you mind if I stay here in my old room?” Kevin asked, looking around the room and reliving some of his memories of running down the hall for all manner of reasons.
“For how long?” his dad asked.
Kevin shrugged. “Until I can find another alternative.” He wanted to argue that it shouldn’t matter if he was there or not. After all, he was sure his parents could go about their everyday activities even if he was there. It never bothered them before.
His dad raised his eyebrow. “Do you need to tell me something?”
Kevin shook his head slowly.
“Aren’t you going to Montana this fall?” He asked.
Kevin knew eventually it would all come out anyway. “I won’t be going to Montana,” he replied. “Not for at least another year.”
He grimaced at the thought of telling the whole truth, so he just blurted it out.
“Look, Dad. I flunked a class and have to retake it next semester.”
There was a long pause. “Say something, dad,” Kevin said.
“I’m speechless. Was it because you spent a lot of time partying?” his dad finally asked him.
Kevin’s jaw dropped. “What? No...I studied, but apparently it wasn’t enough. I don’t know what happened, but this summer I’m going to spend studying and when I retake the course...I’ll work harder.” He wanted it to be true, but there were no guarantees.
“Well, good luck with that.” The snide remark from his dad did not help.
He didn’t expect much support, but he also didn’t expect that after a year of not seeing each other, his dad would be so distant and unwelcoming. He just hoped things between his mom and brother would be better. He didn’t know how much of it he could take.
K
evin and Tara
immediately got down to studying so he could be ready to pass the course with flying colors the next time. That way, they could go back to their original plan. Their study sessions were also a way to find an escape. They found various places to study, from her place to his, to the local diner and the library. They changed it up a lot.
Tara’s favorite place to help him study was at her place. Most of the time, it was just the two of them and no interruptions. That evening, Kevin was due to arrive for another study session at her house. As she waited, she flopped down on the couch and watched the local news.
“A body was discovered today in a dumpster just outside of Richard’s Bakery.”
She perked up. She had worked at Richard’s Bakery when she was a junior in high school.
“The body had been set on fire and has not yet been identified. Officials at the Coroner’s office have confirmed they are awaiting dental records for the purpose of identifying the victim. At this time, the death is considered suspicious; however no suspects have been detained. This is the second body found in less than a week, leaving the police to wonder if their deaths are related. We’ll continue to monitor this story and keep you informed of any updates as they come in.”
T
ara heard the doorbell
, so she muted the television and moved briskly to open the door.
“Hello,” Kevin said as he walked in.
“Hey.” She locked the door and turned back to him.
She noticed him glancing around the house, and figured she knew who he was looking for.
“We’re alone. My mom had some kind of meeting tonight. She said she’d probably be late.”
He sighed. “That’s not what I was looking for.”
“Sure it wasn’t,” she laughed.
They went into the living room and Tara picked up the remote control to shut the television off. The recent murder was still fresh on her mind.
“Did you hear about the body they found in the dumpster at Richard’s Bakery?”
“Yeah. It’s the second death,” Kevin answered. He put his books down and sat down on the couch. “It’s unusual for this small town.”
Tara shook her head and sat next to him. “It’s sad this place has come to this. I never thought our little town would be plagued with big city news like that.”
Kevin nodded with agreement. He opened his book and hesitated before flipping to the chapter they had planned to work on that week. He looked up and met her stare. “I just want to thank you again for what you did, Tara,” he started. “And for all your help. I still don’t believe you’d wait a year for me like that. And I still don’t know if you did the right thing. But I’m grateful. I couldn’t do this studying for a retake without you.”
She smiled, “You don’t need to keep thanking me. Besides, it lets me catch up on my knitting.” She laughed as she picked up her next project. She was working on another winter hat.
“Taking some time off will allow me to clear my head and get some things done.” She meant what she said. She really was enjoying the much needed rest.
“Okay,” he answered.
“I’ve been thinking lately,” Tara looked up from her knitting.
“About what?” he asked.
“Well...I really would like to get out of here. With dad gone, my mom’s here alone and still, she acts like I’m not welcome. I never understood why she started treating me this way. In any case, I was thinking about finding a part-time job. I could save up some money for next year when we move to Montana, and use some of it to look for my own place.”
“It might not be such a bad idea,” he replied, agreeing with her. “My folks are being the same way, which makes no sense as Jake is still at home. I could use some extra money too.”
She smiled. “Well, then let’s make it our mission to find a summer job.” She thought about it and got excited, “We’re still ahead of the high school students, so we have a good chance of finding work. Maybe we could even find something that’ll look good on our resumes for the future.” She pointed to his books, “For now...let’s get you back to studying.”
He flipped the pages to the next chapter and they began to work. She knitted while he read and took notes on index cards. It was easy and their study routine was forming. Everything was going well.
T
ara held
up another notecard and he rattled off the information on the animal or topic. Kevin was getting quicker in his retention and response time. His confidence was growing too. He knew he could get through the exam with better results the second time around.
“How about this one?” she said through a yawn.
He chuckled. “It’s a bandicoot. A marsupial. Mainly found in Australia. It’s a nocturnal animal and during the daytime it seeks out shelter in bush land areas.”
She nodded, yawning again. “Very good.”
He laughed. “Well, you’re obviously tired.” He looked at his watch and realized they had been studying for nearly four hours. “I should get going. It’s late and we both could use a break.”
She smiled. “You’re probably right.” She reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the hat she had knitted. “Take this with you,” she snickered and handed it over to him. It wasn’t the first item she had knitted for him, but he would never get tired of receiving one of her homemade creations.
“Thank you!” He put it on. “How do I look?” He held out his arms, standing up to turn from side to side.
She laughed. “Nice modeling pose. The hat looks good too,” she replied. “I have to say, you made pretty good progress today.”
Kevin loved the sound of her laughter. He fought the urge to reach out and brush her hair behind her shoulder, nodding instead and walking toward the door.
“We make a good team,” he said, turning to her.
She smiled. “Always have.”
It was an undeniable truth. It was also why he never felt the need to go out with other girls, because she was always there for him.
“Goodnight, Kevin.” They stood fixed at the door, until Tara leaned up to kiss his cheek.
Kevin turned his face quickly, and their lips connected. As her body leaned into his, he was tempted to wrap his arms around her, but the kiss ended all too soon. She pulled back and opened her mouth to speak, but had no words. She covered her mouth and looked away, embarrassed. “I…” he began.
“My aim never was too good,” she replied. Her face was red.
He shook his head. “No, it was my fault. I got caught up in the moment. It’s late and I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”
“You didn’t,” she said quickly. “It’s just; I was caught a little off guard. That’s all.”
Kevin stepped back and reached for the doorknob. He could tell she was confused by the look in her eyes. He didn’t want to make things even more complicated by staying. “I’d better be going,” he said softly.
Kevin sensed Tara’s stare from the doorway as he headed back to his car. He got inside, but couldn’t bring himself to leave. He turned to look at her through his window. She remained in the doorway, like a statue. He slowly turned and put his car into drive and left. He wasn’t sorry he had kissed her, but he wouldn’t push her. It would only confuse the situation and the last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.
T
ara couldn’t stop thinking
about the kiss. No matter how hard she tried, thoughts of Kevin’s lips on hers would come rushing back. She tried to focus on television, reading, sleeping and even internet surfing, but nothing worked.
After a few days, as she was looking over job postings on the internet, he phoned her. She hadn’t talked to him since their last study session and she was apprehensive answering the phone.
What if he wants to discuss it?
She thought. She wiped her sweaty palms on her shorts and answered her cell phone on the third ring.
“Hello?” She hoped she didn’t sound strange, but she feared he would be able to hear her uneasiness.
“Hey, it’s me. What are you doing right now?”
She glanced back at the computer, hitting dead end after dead end of job prospects. “Nothing much.”
“Good. Get dressed. Put on something business casual and I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”
“Wh…” Her words trailed off when she realized he had already hung up. She groaned, pulling herself from the kitchen table. She could only imagine what she was getting herself into. She went upstairs and headed to her bedroom where she pulled out a pair of khaki pants and a short-sleeved red blouse from her closet.
Tara quickly got dressed and brushed her hair. As she left her bedroom, she called out to her mom. “I’m going out, Mom. Don’t know when I’ll be back.”
She didn’t hear anything in response, so she shrugged and headed downstairs. The sound of Kevin’s car horn blared from outside. He was already there, leaning on the hood of his car. She paused from the front door to stare at him for a moment. He looked well put together, with his brown shaggy hair perfectly in place. She rarely saw him dressed up. After the kiss, she looked at him and wondered if he saw her in a different light. She tried to shake the thought out of her mind.
Kevin stood up, watching her intently as she headed down the front walkway.
“So, what’s going on?” she asked, eyebrows raised high in anticipation of what he had her dress up to do.
He opened up the passenger door for her.
“Get in,” he smiled. “I have a surprise for you and I don’t want to ruin it by telling you now. You’ll find out soon enough.”
Tara was hesitant about flying blind, but figured she could trust him. She slid into the passenger seat and waited for him to join her. As she looked at him, the smile remained on his lips. Whatever he was doing was something he seemed proud of. Tara needed to know what it was.
T
hey drove
toward the center of town and Kevin was relieved she didn’t question him more. He hoped she would be as excited over it as he was. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. Thoughts of how he had stolen that kiss came flooding back into his mind. He cursed at himself for getting caught up in it. It was just a silly kiss. It probably meant nothing to her, so to dwell on it was stupid.
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me where we’re going?” she asked.
“I’m positive.” He laughed. “We’ll be there in another five minutes. You can wait, right?”
“If I have to.” She chuckled, glancing back out the window. After a few minutes passed, he pulled into a parking lot.
“I don’t understand,” she said as they parked near the main entrance of the petting zoo. “What are we doing here?”
He smiled. “Look…” He pointed to a sign by the front door.
She turned and read it out loud. “Now hiring! Interviews at two o’clock.”
He looked at his watch. “We’re early.”
“I’ve been looking for jobs online for the past three days. This could be perfect, Kevin!” She was optimistic and he was thrilled about it.
He had to agree. They both loved animals, wildlife, and being around people. The local petting zoo was the best choice for them. He noticed Tara frowning and wondered why she was down.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly.
She turned to face him and he thought she was about to explain. Instead, she shook her head. “It’s nothing. We’d better get in there.”
For a moment, Kevin considered asking her again if something was bothering her. He had a feeling he was missing something, but as their eyes met he decided to ignore his gut feeling. They got out of the car and headed up to the main doors. Kevin opened it for her to enter first, and looked around the entrance. At least fifteen other people were standing around.
“I wonder how many they’re hiring,” he whispered to her.
She stopped abruptly, causing him to run into her.
“That’s what I’m worried about,” she replied, turning around. They were inches from one another. Her breath was shallow. Her eyes widened as she stepped backward. “Wh...What if…” She let out a breath. “Let me try this again...what if only one of us gets a job?”
He scrunched up his nose. He hadn’t given that possibility any thought. They did everything together, so this would be just one more thing to add to their list. Kevin considered her fear. It wouldn’t matter to him if she got a job and he didn’t.
“How would you feel if I got a job and you didn’t?” he asked, trying to anticipate her response from her body language.
She opened her mouth, but then quickly shut it.
“If you’re already worried about it, then you must have thought about it,” he said gently, trying to nudge her along to an answer.
She turned to look at the growing group of applicants, and then resumed looking at him.
“It wouldn’t matter to me. I would be happy for you.”
He smiled. “Same here, so we have nothing to worry about. Agreed?”
After a moment of contemplating, she smiled. “Agreed.”
He walked over to the front desk, and she followed him. They each took an application and found a place to sit down. They read over the forms and tediously filled them out. Although it didn’t matter to him, a part of him did hope they would both get a job. He was sure Tara felt the same way.
T
he interview process
was painless compared to some of the student ranger jobs they had both worked up in Anchorage. Tara figured it had to be kept short. There were still five people who arrived after them, also waiting for a shot. When she left the interviewer’s office, she saw Kevin seated waiting for her beside the main entrance.
“How did it go?” He looked up and stood to greet her.
“I think overall it was fine. They said if I make the cut, then I’ll hear something by tomorrow. At least we don’t have to wait too long to get an answer.” They walked out of the building and headed to his car.
“They also said there are only three positions available. And it looked like there were at least twenty-five applicants,” Kevin said, hoping it wouldn’t worry her after he said it.
She stopped as he held the door open for her.
“Our chances aren’t great.”
“It might seem like a long shot, but I have reason to believe we both would make a great addition to this team.” Kevin winked at her and she rolled her eyes. “What? You don’t believe it?”
“What we believe and what will actually happen are two completely different things,” Tara answered.
“You know what? I know just what you need,” he offered.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” she was not sure she wanted another surprise, although this one was pretty thoughtful.
“A nice hot meal from Marmalade’s,” he announced. “It’s been a long time.”
She didn’t know if food would do the trick, but she was willing to give it a try. It had been a long time since she had tasted one of their chocolate cheesecake desserts. “You talked me into it. It won’t get rid of this doubt, but it couldn’t hurt,” Tara conceded.
Kevin laughed, and as they headed toward Marmalade’s, she looked like she had already begun to relax. If the petting zoo jobs weren’t meant to be, then so be it. It was the motto they needed to adopt when it came to finding summer jobs this late in the game.
They pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and Kevin parked close to the front entrance. As they got out of the car and headed up to the door, he wished they were on a real date.
“After you,” Kevin said as he held the door open for her.
“Thank you,” she replied.
They headed up to the hostess podium and as it was before dinner hour, they were seated almost immediately. Neither of them bothered to look at the menu. The waitress arrived quickly and they each ordered the lasagna. When the waitress left, their conversation flowed easily.
“You know,” Kevin started, “I have been thinking a lot lately about how our friendship started.”
Tara frowned. “You have? I don’t even think I remember.” It wasn’t the truth. She could picture it to a tee, but she wasn’t about to confess at all. She found herself thinking about it regularly as well, because the way they ended up becoming friends was a shocker to most.
He cocked his head. “You have to be kidding me. Don’t you remember how you socked a snowball at me for no reason?”
She put her hands on her hips.
“Kevin Crawford, you know very well I had plenty of reason. We were in kindergarten and you said my snowsuit was weird.”
He raised an eyebrow and took a drink of his water.
“I thought you said you didn’t remember?”
Kevin laughed. He was trying to get a rise out of her and it was working. She playfully threw a napkin at him for teasing her.
“Fine...maybe I remember it a little bit,” she replied with a laugh. “The bottom line is, I must have been caught by your charm, because we have been friends ever since.”
He smiled warmly. “It does make me wonder what made our friendship so strong.”
She thought about it. It didn’t seem too surprising to her.
“We’re so much alike,” she replied nonchalantly. “We both had families who were distant and we needed someone who could understand us. I feel we were that person for each other. I don’t know anyone who gets me more than you do.”
“Or vice versa,” he agreed. He looked down at his water glass. “There is something else I wanted to discuss with you.”
Tara could tell whatever he wanted to talk about, it would be deep. Looking over at him, he seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. She felt a pang of urgency to change the subject. His sudden seriousness could only mean he was thinking about their kiss. It was another thing that bonded their friendship. They had been together for so long, they could sometimes read each another’s mind.
“Kevin, don’t…” she began, but her words broke off when she saw their food was heading their way.
“Thank you,” Tara mumbled as the waitress put their food down.
“Need anything else?” she asked them.
Tara glanced at Kevin and he stared back her. “No, but thank you,” she answered.
The waitress walked away and he resumed the conversation.
“Tara, we need to discuss it.”
“We already did,” she begged. She really hoped he would drop it. “It just happened and that’s all there is to it. I don’t want this to make things awkward between us.”
“I…” he started. “I’m relieved to hear you say that.”
“You are?” she asked, surprised.
“I am,” he confirmed. “I don’t want anything to get in the way of our friendship and I just wanted to make sure you felt the same way.”
She looked down at her food. It was what she wanted, but there was something nagging at her mind and telling her something was missing. She looked up and put a smile on.
“Great!” She took a bite of her food, and he did the same.
Their meal was interrupted when Kevin’s phone rang. Tara looked at him as he glanced down at the caller ID. He shrugged.
“I better answer it. Hello?” he paused and his eyes went to hers.
“Yes, this is Kevin Crawford.” His eyes widened.
“Thanks so much for the great news!” He hesitated for a moment.
“What about Tara Matthews?” His smile evaporated.
“Oh...I understand. Thank you.”
When he disconnected the call, Tara knew what it was about.
“You got the job?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I asked about you and…”
“I didn’t get it,” Tara replied, feeling jealousy welling up inside of her. “It’s alright. I told you I wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t get it. I’m happy for you.”
“Well, I don’t know if you got it or not. They wouldn’t tell me.”
“Oh…” She felt a sudden breath of air escape her. The unknown was better than a
no.
She took a drink, clearing the lump in her throat. Tara tried to go back to eating her meal, but her thoughts kept roaming back to her phone. No one had called yet.
When they were finished with their main course and ordered desserts, she was still distracted. Her chances of being called were grim. She expected she’d get a call if she didn’t get a job, but rejection calls would probably come later. They had been told they could be called back as late as the next day, so she didn’t want to lose all hope. Not yet anyway.
Their desserts came and she let it whisk her away. She ate slowly, moaning between bites and relishing the taste. She sighed as the last piece was gone.
“That
does
take away a lot of problems.”
He laughed. “Yes, it does. You know, I don’t have to take the job,” he said suddenly.
Surprised, she looked up from her cheesecake.
“Yes...you do. I’ll be fine no matter what happens. I…” Her words were cut off when her phone started ringing. She grabbed it out of her purse and found a number she didn’t recognize. She looked around the restaurant. They were the only ones there, so she answered the call using speakerphone.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Tara Matthews?” came the muffled voice on the other end.
“Yes this is…” she answered quietly, silently crossing her fingers.
“Hello, Ms. Matthews. This is Zoe from Baker Street Petting Zoo. We were very impressed by your interview and we would like to offer you a job.”
She met Kevin’s waiting stare and just nodded. He smiled at her.
“Thank you so much!” Tara answered. “Yes, I accept and I appreciate you calling me.”
“Come by this Friday after 1:00p.m. and we’ll get you set up on payroll,” Zoe informed her.