Wicked Cravings (21 page)

He stiffened, knowing what she meant. It was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but she wasn’t going to totally understand everything until he told her. He kissed her forehead and went to sit on the tree stump a few feet away. “Her name…was Laurie. My wolf went crazy whenever she was around, just like he does with you.” He almost smiled at the surprise on her face. She really had no idea what she did to him.

“To be blunt, we fucked like rabbits. But it was more than that, I…well, I cared about her.

Loved her. Three months later imprinting began without us even consciously deciding it, but both of us were glad about it. A few weeks later, her true mate came along—though she hadn’t realized it, because she was partly imprinted with me. That blocked her ability to feel the mating bond. But he knew, and he set out to make sure that the imprinting stopped.” Hearing the pain in his voice, she opened her mouth to tell him that he didn’t need to say any more, but he shook his head and lifted his hand to stop her.

“He seduced her into cheating on me. I could actually feel her pleasure through the partial bond. I knew that she was with someone else, knew how much she was enjoying it.”
Oh God.
Before she’d even thought about it, Jaime was straddling him and curling her arms around his neck. “You really don’t have to—”

“No, I do.” He took a preparatory breath, rubbing his hands up and down her back, taking strength from her. “I hunted them both down, ready to kill him. She stopped me, said she chose him.

That was painful enough, and the breaking of the imprinting bond was even more painful. I had migraines all the time, this weird empty feeling, and sometimes I was close to being medically depressed. What added to it all was that her true mate…is actually my brother.” Jaime gaped. “What?”

“You remember Blane, right?”

The name made her wolf growl. Blane was the oldest of the six and had been the worst when it came to taunting Dante. All of them had tormented him. But Blane…She’d often wondered if he was stable. She’d been relieved when he mated into another pack four years after Dante had left. She hadn’t once thought that his mate had been half Dante’s at the time that he found her. “He made me eat a spider once. I spat it at his face.”

Dante chuckled. “Good girl. As you know, my dad was Beta when I was a kid, and he was pretty caught up in his job. When he chose his position over Mom, she sort of…deflated. She became a shadow of her former self. She didn’t live, she just existed, going through the motions.”

“You think that was why she died when you were seven? Feeling the bond weaken made her weak?”

He nodded. “When Dad didn’t survive the loss and Blane became our guardian because he was the oldest, there was no one to hold him back from targeting me all the time, so the bullying got worse. The others followed his example. I think that’s why control is so important to me. My childhood was like a whirlwind. So many things happened around me and to me, none of which I could do anything about, no way of stopping it, no way of protecting myself, no way of helping my mom as I watched her slowly weaken until she was just a shell.”

“I get it,” she said softly. She also understood that if she was to have any kind of relationship with him, she would have to accept his controlling streak and occasionally accommodate it.

“All my life Blane took things from me—toys, clothes, CDs, money. And then he took her. And he loved that he’d been able to do it. I can understand that he would want her as badly as he did, but had it been me and I found my mate happily involved with someone else, I’d have walked away. I wouldn’t have wanted to cause her any pain by separating her from someone she obviously cared for.”

No, he wouldn’t have, thought Jaime. He was too good a person to do something like that.

Could anyone really blame her for being obsessed with the guy?

Absentmindedly, he began twirling a strand of Jaime’s hair around his finger. “That’s why I swore I’d never get into a relationship again until my true mate. But then you came along.” He smiled, tracing her lips with the tip of his finger. “My wolf was practically obsessed with you, and I was constantly hot and hard for you. I kept you at a distance, but then I hated that distance. You know, even when we were kids I was protective of you. I didn’t like it when I didn’t know where you were.”

“You hated me,” she countered.

“No, I didn’t. You irritated me,” he chuckled, “but I didn’t hate you. Who do you think got that group of bullies off your back? You reminded me of me. I saw you getting teased, and it made me think of what I had to deal with at home.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. And I’m sorry about what happened with that bitch.” His lips curved into a grin. “Is that jealousy I hear?”

“Damn right. I have an ugly jealous streak. I have a lot of ugly streaks. So I can’t understand why we’re having this conversation. You know how broken I am, you—”

“You’re not broken,” he quickly insisted. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. On the contrary, you’re stronger than most people I know.”

“Not strong, just too stubborn to give in to my wolf.”

He shook his head, sighing inwardly. She would never see herself as he saw her. “The reason I told you about Laurie is so that you’d understand what you’re getting into.” His tone was serious now, grave. “If we take this further, I won’t let you go. If your true mate comes along, I won’t step aside. If he tries to take you, I’ll kill him. My wolf won’t see him as someone who has rights to you either. He’ll see him as a threat, and he’ll want nothing more than to rip his throat out. If you say yes now, that’s it. You have to tell me if you can deal with that.” His intense possessiveness shouldn’t have been a turn-on, but it was. Soon enough she’d work out what was wrong with her. “What if
your
true mate comes along?” He brushed her nose with his. “She’ll most likely hate me, because I won’t leave you. I kept telling myself that the reason I don’t want to find her is that I’m not ready yet, but the truth is I won’t ever be ready. She’ll want too much from me, and she’ll eventually ask me to give up my position as Beta, just like my mom did to my dad.”

“You’re sure she’d do that?”

“I’ve seen it happen to a lot of Beta pairs. The female doesn’t like that her mate’s loyalty, attention, and time has to be divided. This is something else you need to understand. My job is very demanding, Jaime. I have a lot of responsibilities, and it means I won’t be able to give you the same time and attention that another guy could, that your true mate could. I need to know if that’s enough for you.” What he didn’t say was that if she told him that she didn’t want him, there wasn’t a chance that he would leave her alone. He’d hound her until she changed her mind.

“You’ve been honest, so I will, too. As cruel as it might sound, I don’t want to find my true mate, either. I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just that I can’t give him all of me. I can’t let down my walls without letting my wolf get out. Plus, I’d be risking his life if I mated with him. If my wolf does surface and turn rogue, she’ll have to be killed. It won’t be easy for him to survive that.” He nodded in understanding, thinking that maybe a relationship between them might just work.

Jaime understood him and respected how much he cared for his job, and she wouldn’t want to imprint any more than he would.

“But there’s the little detail that you’ll never be able to control me all the time the way you want to. I’ve no doubt that you’ll still try. You can’t help yourself. But you’ll only end up frustrated and pissed.”

He shrugged. “That’s all right. Makeup sex is good.” He took her mouth gently this time, having a long, leisurely taste. “Don’t leave me again.” It was an order, but even he heard the slight plea in those words.

“I won’t,” she promised. Not willingly anyway.

No matter how many times Jaime assured him the following morning that she had no intention of running again, she couldn’t make him relax. Not even the physical toll from the training session calmed his agitated state. He was convinced that if the pack gave her a hard time or talked any more about if he was fit to be Beta, she would be tempted to leave. He was right; she would be tempted.

But she’d promised him that she wouldn’t leave him again, and Jaime didn’t break her promises.

Still, Dante was set on ensuring that the pack didn’t say anything else that might act as a trigger and make her break that promise, which was why he had his arm curled around her as they went for breakfast. His hold made it clear that he considered her his, that he believed he had a claim on her.

Dante smiled when everyone at the table lifted their heads and recognized his possessive posture. “You all got what you wanted. She left. Well, I’ve brought her back, and she’s staying. I don’t need to tell you that what Jaime needs right now is support. If you can’t bring yourself to give it to her, then fine. But if that’s how you feel, stay away from her altogether.” To Jaime’s surprise, no one said a word. She’d kind of expected some sort of uproar, or at least a few objections. Instead, she actually received smiles from some of the people who had only yesterday decided that it was best if she was gone. Apparently, her gesture of leaving and her protectiveness of Dante had gone a long way with them.

Gabe, Shaya, and Dominic weren’t very happy with her for running off and made it clear with reproachful looks, but their silent treatment didn’t last any more than two minutes, and soon they were chewing her ear off about one thing or another.

Having demolished his overloaded plate in record time, Dante leaned back in his seat.

“You’re off work today, right?”

“Yep,” she said as she petted a loudly purring Hunk. “Sundays are my day of rest from work.”

“Rest?”

Smiling at the way he echoed the word in utter confusion, she said, “Yes. I like to rest or go do something fun. Shaya and I have already arranged to go shopping for a few hours.” She was about to add that she’d take two enforcers along when Dante began shaking his head madly.

“You two can’t go out shopping alone when Glory and her brothers are desperate to get their hands on you, Jaime.”

The nonnegotiable tone had Jaime slowly arching a brow. “I can’t?” Dante shook his head again, his face darkening. “No. Not a chance.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. “Aw, Dante, exercising your will on me is purely a waste of time. You know this already. Would you like an aspirin?”

“You’re not going. That’s it.”

“Whatfreakingever.”

“I’m serious! There’s no way I’ll let you put yourself in that kind of danger!”
Let
her? “Dante, don’t make me kick you to death.”

Pissed with her attitude, he growled. His wolf was just as unhappy about her intentions.

“Look, it’s one thing not having a flight response, but it’s another thing to have no sense of self-preservation. Not only did Glory confront you, but her brothers tried to attack you.”

“Ten out of ten for observation.”

“You can’t go off and make yourself an easy target. I won’t allow it.” Jaime sighed. “I’m pretty sure we went over this yesterday, big guy. Just because you and I have close encounters of the best kind doesn’t mean you get to control me or baby me.”

“I want to do a lot of things to you. ‘Babying’ isn’t one of them.”

“Good. Then it’s all settled.” She gave him a winning smile. “See how easy that was?”

“Jaime,” he gritted out. Seeing the resolve on her beautiful face, he bit out, “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

She had to have heard him wrong. “Sorry?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he repeated, “I’ll go with you.”

“You’ll go shopping?” she said slowly, stunned.

“Yes.”

“But you’ll be off doing Beta stuff.”

“I have Tao and four enforcers—I can delegate.” He noticed the surprise on the faces of those around him, but he paid them no attention. He was only interested in ensuring that the stubborn female beside him didn’t hand herself over to Glory’s brothers on a platter.

The workaholic was actually prepared to take most of the day off? Nah, surely not. She glanced around the room as she said, “I’m being Punk’d, aren’t I?”

“‘Fucked’ is what you’ll be getting, but that’s for later.” She studied his face, still incredulous. “But you hate the mall.” Yeah, he did. He hated shopping, period. “I hate the thought of you in danger more.” Aw, how could she resist him when he said stuff like that? “Okay, big guy. You can come.”

“Why thank you,” he replied acerbically.

“Great,” said Dominic, “you guys can drop me off at the tattoo studio first. I’m getting the finishing touches done to my tattoo.”

Jaime went to ask him about it, but Dante’s words distracted her.

“I have a condition, though.”

“A condition to what?” she asked, both suspicious and confused.

“To coming with you shopping instead of making your day miserable by hounding you. I get to buy you something.”

That would have excited her if he hadn’t said it like a threat. “Define ‘something.’” His impish smile surfaced. “You’ll see.”

Five hours later, she saw. And gawked. When she could finally speak, she said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope.”

“You can’t buy me this.”

He folded his arms across his chest—a gesture that said this was nonnegotiable. He’d anticipated resistance, because he knew Jaime well enough to know that she wasn’t the slightest bit materialistic. “Yes, I can. You’re mine, I protect what’s mine, and you’re going to accept this. The end.”

“Dante, I’m serious.”

“Baby, so am I.”

“I thought you meant chocolates or maybe a pair of shoes or something. Not a brand-new top-of-the-line car!” His grin was totally unapologetic, which peeved her even more. “Dante, I’m not letting you spend that much money on me.”

He advanced on her. “Hey, I’ll spend my money on you
if
I want to,
when
I want to.” She made a slashing motion with her hands. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but it’s too much.”

“No, no more arguing. I had the patience of a damn saint today. I let you drag me around the mall, and I hardly moaned at all.”

He was right. Call her mean, but Jaime had quite enjoyed dragging him, Tao, and Ryan from store to store. Whenever Dante tried rushing her, she had slowed her pace until he finally received the message and stopped pestering her.