Wicked Cravings (24 page)

She understood that he had a lot of responsibilities, and she was proud of him. But was it such a bad thing that she missed him when he was gone? In fact, she missed him when he
was
there, because even when he was with her, he wasn’t always completely there. His mind could sometimes be on things he needed to do or hadn’t done, and his cell phone was like a hotline.

Although she had been prepared for it, she hadn’t really realized until recently just how much of an effect his dedication to his job would have on their relationship. She’d hoped to teach him how to find a work/play balance, but it was proving difficult. Why? Two reasons. One, Dante didn’t seem to think the lack of a balance was a problem. Two, she had realized that, on a subconscious level, he didn’t want to find that balance.

It had taken her a little time to figure out why, but eventually she’d deduced that Dante actually had intimacy issues. Not sexually, but emotionally. It wasn’t really such a surprise, considering that the woman he had loved and imprinted with had betrayed him. But it was difficult to know that the person she cared about avoided any chance of feeling the same, even if it wasn’t on a conscious level.

Mattering to him wasn’t the same as him caring about her. Knowing that she was second in his life was hard, particularly because he came first to her.

“So how will you be spending your evening?” he asked.

“I have a poker game to go to.”

“Poker, huh?” He smiled, knowing she’d win simply because she hated to lose. Even when she lost, she didn’t count it. “Who’s playing?”

“Me, Shaya, Gabe, and Dominic.”

“Dominic,” he echoed with a snap of his teeth. “He spends a little too much time with you for my liking.”

She ignored his odd tone. “Friends tend to do stuff together.”

“Yeah, and ‘stuff’ is fine when it isn’t a guy flirting with you all night.”

“If you could call it flirting,” she said with a snort. “Dominic would never trespass, and you know it.”

He did know it, but it still pissed him off that while he was away from her she was with that pervert, who would happily make moves on her if the path was clear. Okay, it was more that he was jealous that he couldn’t spend as much time with her as Dominic could.

“You could come to the game, too.”

“I can’t, baby. I—”

She held up her hand. “You don’t have to explain. I know you’re busy. It was just a thought.” The more understanding she was, the worse he felt whenever he disappointed her. “It’s Josh’s birthday party tomorrow. We could go if you want.” No doubt it would be a big event, since Josh had recently taken over as Alpha of the Bjorn Pack after the death of Trey’s uncle.

“I wouldn’t have thought you cared.”

He shrugged, smoothing his hands up and down her thighs. “Being honest, I’m not particularly interested in rebuilding my relationship with him. Too much has gone on for that to be possible. Plus, he actively encouraged Trey’s banishment. But I’ve heard that his mate’s pregnant. Maybe it would be a good idea to shove all our shit aside. I’d like to know my niece or nephew.” Oh, he was just way too cute. Not many people would be able to put aside the kind of crappiness that existed between him and Josh. Jaime doubted that she could’ve. Although Josh had really only followed Blane’s example, it was no excuse, in her opinion. He had his own mind, his own will, and he should have used it. He should have protected his baby brother. “Any opportunity I can find to spend some time with you, I’ll take.”

Although she’d said it with a smile, Dante had sensed the slight sadness there. He sat upright and folded his arms around her. “I know we don’t get much—”

“This is your job, I get that.”

Dante sensed her melancholy and sighed inwardly. He wondered if she had any idea just how much she’d changed him over these past few weeks. Before her, there were times when he’d gone almost three days without sleep or with just a brief nap in his office chair. Now every night he went back to his room, because he knew she’d be there when he did. Welcoming him, holding him, giving him attitude, and making him laugh.

She also drove him insane. He could never find a damn thing in that room among all that clutter. The number of times he’d tripped over one of her shoes and nearly broken his neck was unreal. She’d jumbled his neat and orderly room just as much as she had his neat and orderly life. For the first time, he’d wondered if maybe his life had been too orderly—or dull, as Jaime liked to think of it. She brought color to his black-and-white world. If someone had told him before now that he would like to complicate his predictable world, he’d have snorted.

The sound of his cell phone beeping snatched him from his thoughts. He reached over to his jacket, which was on the ground beside Jaime’s, and dug out his cell. Seeing that he had a text message from Trey summoning him to his office, he gave her an apologetic smile. “Training’s over for today, baby.”

Hiding her disappointment, she smiled and rose from the floor so that he could get from underneath her. “No worries. I’ll see you later.” He stood upright, shot her a smile, and then the playful, tender look on his face disappeared and the Beta mask slid right back on. Her Dante was gone. Without a second look at her, he grabbed his coat and jogged away.

Slipping her arms into her jacket, she fought off the chill she felt at the loss. Not just of his body heat, but of
him—
Dante the person as opposed to Dante the Beta. Intending to go for a quick shower before breakfast, she began making her way back to the caves. Halfway there, her cell phone rang. She smiled when she saw that it was Ivy. “Hey, bitch, what’s up?” A pause. “Um…Jaime, I…”

The croaky sound had Jaime halting in her tracks. “Ivy? Ivy, is everything okay?”

“One of the dogs, Jaime…”

Ivy didn’t have to say any more for Jaime to understand. No matter how prepared they were for the dogs being put down, it always hit them hard. “Who?” No answer. That said more than words could, but still Jaime persisted, hoping that she wrong. “Who was put down, Ivy?” A long pause. “Ben. I’m so sorry, honey.”

Emotion clogged her throat, but she held back the tears. “What happened?”

“He attacked one of the staff last night. He hurt him really badly, Jaime.”

“But Ben wasn’t a violent animal.”

“You know as well as I do that just because he never hurt you doesn’t mean he’d never hurt anyone else. If we don’t know their histories and what’s traumatized them, we don’t know what might trigger them to snap. I really am so sorry, Jaime.”

“I’m fine,” she lied, her voice unsteady.

“Take today off. You really don’t want to be here today.”

No, she didn’t, because although she understood that the staff member wasn’t to blame, she would undoubtedly find herself wanting to kill him. “See you tomorrow. Take care.” It was only a second after she ended the call that the tears came. Yeah, she should be used to this by now, but it was always a blow to her system when one of the dogs she cared for had to be put to sleep. At some point the same thing could happen to her—something could act as a trigger for her wolf and give her enough strength to surface. And then God knows what her wolf would do. Jaime just hoped that someone dealt with her before she could hurt anyone.

Suddenly feeling the need to be held—dominant female or not, she wasn’t made of stone—she instinctively called Dante. No answer. Five minutes later, she tried again. No answer. After another fifteen minutes she tried again, and again, and again. Soon three whole hours had passed and he hadn’t responded in any way to her attempts to call him. She knew there was no pack emergency, knew his meeting with Trey had ended two hours before. She even knew where he was—his damn office. But she wouldn’t chase after him.

When he didn’t appear for lunch, her sense of desolation increased. Again, she tried calling him, but nothing. When he didn’t turn up to the evening meal either, she was so down on herself that even her wolf was feeling depressed. Down because of Ben, down because she could soon be just as dead as he was, and down because the one person she needed wasn’t there. So she did what she always did when she wanted to forget about something for a little while. She made it her mission to get drunk.

The knock on his office door made Dante groan. It was now ten in the evening, and all he wanted to do was hunt down Jaime and take her to bed. He knew she’d been trying to call him, but he had been so damn busy. First he’d had to have a meeting with Trey to discuss a possible alliance with another pack; Trey had wanted him to do the necessary research into the pack before a decision was made.

Then Dante had had to see some of his own pack individually to go over issues they had raised. Then there had been phone calls he’d had to take or make, and a lot of paperwork to mill through. As much as he’d wanted to talk to Jaime, the last thing he’d needed was to hear her husky voice and have her distracting him.

“Come in.” He was surprised to see Trick enter with a smile on his face.

“D, um, you might want to see this.”

“Later, I’ve got a lot of stuff to do.”

Trick rolled his eyes in a way that said,
What’s new?
“No, you really do want to see this now.

Come on.”

A mixture of exasperated, curious, and confused, Dante rose from his seat. “What?”

“It’s nothing to be worried about, she’s fine, but—”

“Jaime?”

“Just come take a look.”

“Dude, you are
so
my BFF,” said Jaime as she folded her arms behind her head and gazed up at the night sky. “I mean, I don’t go counting stars with just anyone, you know.” Shaya, who was lying beside her on the grass, put a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell Taryn this, okay, but you’re
so
my BFF, too. Oh wow, look, that one’s twinkling. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.”

“You know what I don’t understand? Why they sing ‘Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.’ Why do they wonder? They already know what it is—they answered their own question before they even asked it.”

“Oh yeah. My favorite nursery rhyme was always ‘Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry, and when the boys came out to play…he kissed them too ’cause he’s funny that way.’”

Jaime burst out laughing and gave her drinking partner a high five, almost missing her hand.

“Only you could make me laugh on a day this sad.” She released a sigh. “Ben was such a gorgeous dog, you know. My heart used to ache for him when I saw him shaking and trembling.”

“You have to look at it this way…he’s at peace now. He’s up in doggy heaven.” Jaime frowned at Shaya. “Do you think there’s a separate heaven for dogs?” Shaya looked at her like she was stupid. “Duh. Have you not seen the movie
All Dogs Go to
Heaven
?”

The girl had a point. “I’m still sad that he died. I’m going to die like that, too. Just like him, I’ll snap and attack someone close to me.” Currently, her wolf was quiet. For some reason, large amounts of alcohol made it difficult for shifters to change form, as it seemed to submerge their animals, which was why it was very rare that shifters drank large amounts. But Jaime would be fine in the event of a problem, because she wasn’t drunk, not even a little.

“Dante won’t let you die.”

An ugly snort popped out of Jaime. “I doubt he’d be much good in an emergency with me. I’ve tried calling him about fifty times, but has he answered? No. Has Beta Boy taken his attention away from his job for even one second for me? No. I should just call him. I should just call him and tell him exactly what I think of him. No, I shouldn’t. Here, take my phone. Don’t let me call him.” She fished her BlackBerry out of her pocket and handed it to Shaya.

“I got your back. You’re like the sister I never had. Did I ever tell you that?”

“Aw, sweetie, right back at you. You know that I love you, right? Seriously, I’m not just saying it because I’m tipsy. I really do love you. You and me are tight. We’re like this.” She crossed her fingers. Shaya nodded, mimicking the move. “I mean, if you hadn’t been here for me tonight, I dunno what I would’ve done.”

“It’s the least I can do. You’ve been here for me, too. Like with the Nick thing. I still can’t believe how he’s acting.”

“You know, we should totally get a gun and a shovel and take care of that guy. I told him to stay away from you, you know. Oh yeah, I warned him away. I don’t think he’ll stay away. But we can shoot him when he comes here.”

A look of pure excitement took over Shaya’s face. “Yeah! Let’s go get a gun right now!”

“Ooh yeah, we
so
should. But wait, I don’t have a permit. You?”

“No. Damn. We’ll get one tomorrow, and then we’ll assassinate His Alpha-ness.” She and Jaime shook hands and nodded.

A random thought suddenly popped into Jaime’s head. “Why do you think spiders travel alone? It has to be pretty lonely. Really lonely. I’m lonely.” Shaya’s head whipped around to face her. “What? Why? No, you can’t be lonely. That’s not allowed.”

“There’s just this big gulf between Dante and me. But it’s fine. It’s totally fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“No, it’s not. I should tell him that. Gimme my phone.” She held out her hand, but it flopped onto her chest.

“You know, I think he really cares for you.”

Jaime gasped, feeling suddenly optimistic. “You do?”

“It’s practically tattooed on his forehead. Ooh—let’s get a tattoo.”

“Yeah!” Jaime rolled onto her side. “We totally should. Let’s do it tomorrow.”

“Totally. Definitely. What’re you getting? I’m thinking of getting ‘Nick Axton Is a Fuck-Ass’

right across my forehead.”

Jaime pursed her lips as she considered it. “I like it. It’s different. It has an edge to it.”

“I know, right?”

Patting the ground to her left, Jaime frowned. Gazing around and finding no sign of what she was looking for, her frown deepened. “Did you hide my drinks?” Shaya shook her head. “No, why?”

“I came out with, like, eight, and they’re gone.”

“You sure you didn’t drink them all?”

“I can’t have, or I’d be drunk, wouldn’t I?”

“Oh yeah, I never thought of it like that.”