Wicked Cravings (44 page)

“Sorry. It’s just that I heard she tried to attack you.”

“She smelled Laurie on me.”

“And why would she smell Laurie on you?” snapped Grace, giving him an accusatory look that was quite similar to the one his mate was wearing.

“See, now, if you’re reacting that way and I’m not your mate, is it any wonder that she wanted to draw blood?”

“I guess not. But you didn’t answer my question.”

He sighed. “Laurie threw herself at me when I was trying to get to Jaime’s wolf. She was afraid because of the duel between Jaime’s and Glory’s wolves, and she didn’t know what to do.” His wolf snarled at the memory.

“Afraid? Really?”

In response to the skepticism in her voice, he arched a brow questioningly.

“You don’t think that she did it on purpose?”

“Why would she?”

She gave him an impatient look. “Dante, honey, for a very observant person you have such a blind spot. The woman is jealous. I don’t know whether it’s because she’s still slightly possessive of you because you were once mated—”

“
Partially
mated.”

“—or whether it’s something else, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did it on purpose so that there was no way Jaime would let you near her.”

“But she stayed with Jaime to fight when she could have just gone back to the caves with the rest of you.”

Grace shrugged. “I didn’t say I had all the answers. I just know the woman is jealous and doesn’t want you with Jaime. Did you know she came to your room just before the mating ceremony?

She wanted to see you alone. Dominic chased her off, and then Hope did her best to keep her away from you.”

He hadn’t known that, but at the moment he didn’t care to try to understand it. “Grace, I really can’t think of all this right now. All I care about is Jaime and making sure that she comes back.”

“Can you sense her?”

“Yes. She’s tired and irritated. Her wolf isn’t being very receptive to her right now.”

“She still feels unsafe. Unless that changes, she won’t pay much attention to what Jaime thinks or feels.”

He nodded. “I know. I’ve kept the number of visitors to a minimum. I figure the fewer people and scents around her, the better. It might help if she doesn’t think strange shifters are going to be hanging around what’s now effectively her den.” Only Taryn, Shaya, and Gabe had been inside the room. None of them had received a welcoming greeting from the black wolf. “I tried giving her one of my T-shirts that Jaime wears to bed, thinking she might find it comforting the way Jaime does. She ripped it to shreds.” Hearing Grace’s heavy sigh, he looked at her curiously. “What?”

“It’s just that seeing her like this…it reminds me of…”

“Louisa,” he easily supplied, since he’d been thinking the same thing. “Jaime won’t turn rogue.” It was an adamant statement, but he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more—himself or Grace.

“I hope not, honey. I really hope not.”

Dante spent the rest of the day simply talking to the black wolf. Most of the words were for Jaime, but the gentling tone was for the wolf. She didn’t calm as he’d hoped. When she wasn’t pacing or attacking her cage, she was huddled in a ball growling at anyone who came even remotely close to the crate—him included. So far he could only get three feet from the cage without the wolf growling and baring her teeth.
Two feet
, he promised himself before he went to sleep that night on the chair in the examination room.
I’ll make it to two feet away tomorrow.

But he didn’t. The wolf’s state was worse in the morning rather than better, though she did actually eat the food Grace brought for her. Again he spent his day with her, talking to her, remaining at her side in a gesture that said he was there for her, only her. The fact was that he had no idea how to win her wolf’s trust. Trust was something that had to be earned, but how did he earn it in such a short time without being in a situation where he was tested? He had no freaking idea.

The only plan he had been able to come up with was to become a permanent fixture in that room, and one that was never once threatening or frightening. He ate his meals in there, he showered in the en-suite bathroom when he needed to, and he slept in either the chair or the bed. He also ensured that he was the one who fed her and cleaned her cage—though she had to be tranquilized each time they needed to clean it.
He
would see to her every need, would make the wolf see that he could and would care for her.

Day three was also a bad day. The wolf jumped at every noise, every voice, every unexpected movement. It broke his heart to see her so frightened and anxious. He understood then why Jaime had been so compelled to sit with that little dog, Ben, in the sanctuary—that was all Dante wanted to do right now. Just sit with her and hold her, pet her, and comfort her. The problem was that each time he went near the crate, she attacked it. Answering his wolf’s desperate need to have contact with his mate, he had shifted forms. That hadn’t worked well. Her wolf had recognized him as her mate, but she didn’t associate him with safety or security, so she hadn’t wanted him close.

Days four, five, and six went pretty much the same way. Thankfully, Ivy and Riley had provided more tranquilizers so that he could keep knocking the wolf out whenever he needed to clean her cage. Both women had also asked to help care for her while she was in this state, claiming that they were experienced with traumatized animals. While that was true, he refused their offer. He wanted few scents in that room, and he wanted to be the one to heal her. He
should
be the one to heal her.

Day seven had been a truly bad day. She’d attacked the cage so hard that she’d cut open her paws. After giving her another tranquilizer shot, he and Grace had seen to the injuries. As soon as the wolf was aware and alert again, she’d torn off the bandages with her teeth and attacked the crate even harder than before. Still, Dante stuck to his plan of remaining with her and being the one who saw to all her needs. The problem was that whereas before she had more or less tolerated his presence, she was now angered by it rather than comforted.

The days began to blend and blur until, before he knew it, it had been another seven days and Jaime’s wolf was showing no signs of retreating.
Agitated
would be a mild word to describe how Dante was feeling. Occasionally he had snapped or shouted at the wolf, frustrated that none of his efforts were making her even slightly associate him with safety. Each time he snapped, her wolf would practically jump out of her skin and cower. And didn’t that make him feeling like a cruel son of a bitch.

As for Jaime…The truth that he hadn’t told anyone was that he couldn’t sense her very well anymore. He knew that she wasn’t weakening in spirit or admitting defeat. It was simply that her wolf’s state was so prevailing now that she practically drowned out Jaime. In short, she was truly at risk of turning rogue. His wolf was constantly fretting and anxious, which only made Dante’s mood worse. That was most likely why Shaya had encouraged him several times to go get some air or go for a run, but he wouldn’t leave his mate. He’d stuck to his plan so far, and he was going to continue sticking to it.

The trouble was that with each day that passed, he sensed Jaime that little bit less. A sense of defeat soon began to creep in and slither through him, tempting him to accept that she wasn’t coming back, that the wolf would soon turn rogue. There were times over the next week when he almost did, but then he would catch himself succumbing and would give himself a mental slap, praying that Jaime hadn’t sensed through their bond that he’d almost given up on her.

It was day twenty-three—or was it twenty-five? Dante wasn’t even sure anymore—when Trey came in the room for the first time. They had all agreed that since the Alpha had angered the black wolf by trying to dominate her, it might be better if he stayed away. Dante watched his mate, looking for her reaction to Trey’s presence. Nothing. She simply remained curled up in a ball, peering out of the cage through depressed, confused eyes that plucked at his heart. Some days she was like this.

Others she was a ball of fury. He never knew what he’d be dealing with when he woke in the morning. In either state, she was unreceptive to him and everybody else.

“Hey,” he said to Dante. “How’s she been today?”

“She’s been quiet, but she hasn’t eaten and she’s jumpy.” Even he could hear the hopelessness and fatigue in his voice.

Minutes of absolute silence passed before Trey spoke again. “Dante, maybe it would be kinder if—”

“No.” He’d known this was coming the second Trey entered the room. It had only been a matter of time before someone suggested it. Trey was the only one who ever would have done so, and for very personal reasons. While Dante understood those reasons, it didn’t ease his ire.

“Dante—”

“I said no.” His voice was barely controlled.

Trey sighed. “You’re not thinking of Jaime. Imagine how she’s feeling right now.”

“I don’t have to. I know how she’s feeling.” Well, on some days he did—just a little.

“I know what it’s like to be nothing but an observer while your wolf takes the front seat and does things you would never do. Sometimes I think that it’s how a ghost would feel, if there are such things. You can see and hear all these people you care about, you know everything that’s going on, but you can’t be part of any of it, you can’t talk to any of those people. You’re stuck. Trapped. Alone.

Helpless. Jaime’s been trapped like that for twenty-eight days now.” Twenty-eight? Huh. Longer than he’d thought.

“You told us that when this happened the first time, it was three weeks later that her wolf retreated. It’s been four weeks, and her wolf isn’t showing any signs of doing that, Dante. Unless her wolf’s state somehow improves, Jaime can’t push for the surface. It’s looking very unlikely that she’s going to be able to.”

“Jaime’s strong enough to do this,” he insisted. “I know she is.”

“Yes, she’s strong, but so is her wolf. She was even strong enough to ignore my order to back down. Her wolf has spent a long time all locked up, and instead of accepting that she was confined, she fought it. She didn’t stop fighting, and I don’t think she’ll stop fighting this either. Maybe it’s time to—”

“I can’t kill her, Trey. I won’t.”

“It wouldn’t be killing her,” Trey said quickly, ignoring the vehemence in Dante’s voice. “It would be giving her and her wolf some peace. Jaime has spent a lot of her life fighting. If anyone deserves some peace, it’s her.”

“And if this was Taryn we were talking about?”

Trey’s expression hardened. “Dante—”

“If this was Taryn?” he persisted, louder this time.

“The God’s honest truth? I’d be giving myself the same advice that I’m giving you. I wouldn’t want her to suffer in any way, especially just because I’ll miss her. You have to put Jaime first. It’s what mates do.”

“He’s right, Dante.”

The second that feminine voice spoke—a voice he couldn’t say he’d in any way missed over the past four weeks—his mate leaped at the crate, growling and snarling at the visitor. His own wolf wasn’t pleased either.

“This would be the kind thing to do,” said Laurie, her face sad and painted with sympathy. “I mean, look at her. One minute she’s huddled in a corner, and the next thing she’s like this. I’d say it’ll only be a day or so before she turns rogue. It’s not fair to Jaime.” When Laurie went to place her hand on his arm, Dante jerked away from her and snapped,

“
Don’t
touch me.” He noted that Jaime’s wolf eased a little at that, though she was still growling.

“Dante, don’t be like that.”

“Like what? What is it you actually expect?” He still couldn’t work out what this female wanted. She was supposed to have left by now, but had apparently come up with excuse after excuse for staying longer.

“Look, I know it will be hard when she’s gone, but we’ll all be here for you.”
I’ll be here for
you
, she didn’t say, but he heard. Everything Grace had said came swimming back to the forefront of his mind.

“You think that if I lose Jaime, I’ll go back to you, is that it?” Surely it wasn’t.

“The bond isn’t fully in place. You could survive her death, and we could—”

“Are you fucking insane? I would
never
go back to you, never—Jaime or no Jaime.” Her face crumpled a little. “I understand if you hate me—”

“I don’t hate you, don’t you get it? I don’t
anything.
You are nothing to me. Understand?

Nothing. She”—he pointed at the wolf who was now still and watching, quiet and curious—“is everything to me.
Everything
. Healthy or traumatized, she’s all I want, and she’s mine.” He turned to Trey then. “So no, I won’t kill her. I refuse to give up on Jaime or her wolf. Jaime won’t give up fighting, I know she won’t. Neither will I. Now, both of you get out.” When Laurie reached out to him, he yelled, “Get out!”

The black wolf watched her mate, surprised and curious. He had rejected the female who coveted him. He had moved away from her touch. He had ordered her to leave. What the wolf found just as surprising was that he had ordered away their Alpha. The memory of the Alpha attempting to dominate her made a low growl involuntarily slip out.

The sound made her mate turn. He moved toward her prison. His movements were slow and unthreatening. The wolf felt his emotions, some of which she understood—sadness, worry, anger. He spoke to her. The words were undistinguishable, but she watched him silently.

“Maybe they’re right.” He cocked his head. She copied the move. His voice was different, uneven. “Maybe I’m being a cruel bastard. But I can’t do it. Even though I can feel you slipping away from me, Jaime, I can’t. I love you, you know. I didn’t tell you that, did I? I was too fucking proud to say it first. Please, baby, you have to come back to me. You said you wouldn’t leave me again, and you can’t. You promised.”

A strong smell of salt filled the air, out of place in the room.

The wolf sensed Jaime strongly then. Knew Jaime wanted dominance. Knew Jaime was sad.

But those details were unimportant to the wolf. While they were unsafe and imprisoned, those details did not matter.