Wicked Reunion (Wicked White Series Book 2) (16 page)

Mom frowns and her blue eyes appear sad. “You would get angry with me and cut our call short any time I even mentioned her name. There was no way I could ever even entertain the idea of telling you that they got married, especially over the phone. I was afraid it would drive you even further away. I know you were dealing with a lot. Dad . . .” She trails off, and I can tell it’s still pretty tough for her to talk about him. “Him dying, that was so unexpected. We all had to deal with it in our own way, and I just knew you weren’t in the right frame of mind to handle any more heartbreaking news, so I kept it from you. I apologize for that. I just did what I thought was best for you. Please don’t be upset with me. I can’t take losing you over this.”

I still have a hard time dealing with the loss of Dad myself, but keeping in contact with Mom and paying tribute to him through the love of music we shared helped me to heal. I’m still not over Dad’s death, but I can at least hear his name and think about him without falling completely apart.

She’s right. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s right. If I had found out that London and Wes had gotten married, there would be no way in hell I would’ve even considered coming back here. The thought of the two of them together, touching, kissing, and having sex . . . Goddamn, that one stings like fire. To know that he’s held her in his arms and made love to her . . . the thought alone is almost more than I can take.

I am such a fucking idiot. How could I have done this? Driven a wedge between us like this? Running away caused all this, and the only way I can make things better between me and my family is to make sure that I don’t disappear again.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I reach over and squeeze Mom’s hand to reassure her a bit.

The moment London opened the door and my eyes fell upon her, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was still in love with this woman. Seeing her in person reignited every ounce of love I ever had for her.

As if Mom is reading my thoughts, she says, “If you still feel something for her, you must tell her. The girl has been miserable without you, and if she doesn’t get some type of closure with you, I’m not sure if she’ll ever be able to truly move on.”

I take in her words, and I know deep down that she’s right. London needs to know how I feel. I need to at least attempt to right the wrongs I’ve caused and give London the closure that she needs from me if being with Wes is what truly makes her happy now. It will kill me knowing she’s with my brother, but Wes and London deserve to be happy.

THEN

LONDON

S
am waves the bag of doughnuts around in my face. “You know you want one.”

I groan and pull the covers back over my face. “Go away with your evil, fatty goodness.”

“No way. Don’t even try that. You, missy, are all skin and bones. A doughnut or ten will not kill you. Now, sit your pretty ass up and eat.”

I hate when she gets like this, but it’s also what makes me love her even more. She’s persistent and pushy in the best kind of loving way, and there’s no getting out of whatever it is that she’s asking of you when she’s in full-on mother hen mode.

“Don’t make me call Wes over here,” Sam threatens. “Seems like he’s the only one who can convince you to do anything lately, which is odd, considering that his brother is the reason you live like a hermit.”

I sit up and grab the bag. “Please don’t call him. I don’t think I can take him right now.”

“Lovers’ quarrel?” Sam teases, and I roll my eyes.

“It’s not like that between us. You know that. He’s just been my rock over the past few years since Jared left.”

“I’ll bet he has. You would think since you were his brother’s fiancée that you’d be off limits to him, but the boy doesn’t seem to respect that boundary at all. He’s got it bad for you.”

I shake my head. “No, he doesn’t.”

Sam plops down beside me and tosses her blond hair over one shoulder. “I love you, London, but sometimes you really are blind. Wes obviously loves you, and who knows, maybe it would be good for you to try dating him, since he’s the only member of the male species besides your dad that you’ll speak with. It might pull you out of this funk.”

“I don’t think about him that way. He’s just a really good friend.”

“A
really
hot good friend,” she teases, and when I don’t laugh or roll my eyes at her joke so that she knows I’m not amused, she throws her arm around me. “Okay, so you
don’t
have feelings for him that way. I get it. But I want you to be aware that he does feel like that toward you, and I don’t want you to string him along forever if you have no intentions of dating him. Put the poor guy out of his misery.”

I completely hear what she’s saying. I don’t want to be one of those girls who leads a guy on, but I also don’t want to lose Wes either.

This isn’t something I want to think about right now. It scares me to know that there’s a possibility that Wes won’t be in my life at some point. I need to change the subject.

“Speaking of misery, so I have to go on this blind date with you tonight?” I whine.

“Yes! I don’t do first dates with a guy I met at a party alone. You know that. I need my wing woman, and you have to go out with what I’m sure is Josh’s delectable friend to help me out.”

I laugh. “If he’s not delectable, then you’re going to owe me big time.”

She smiles. “I’ll just keep bribing you with doughnuts.”

Later that night we pull up in front of this local pool hall we hang out in from time to time called The Station, there to meet Josh and this mystery date. The parking lot is packed, and the same goes for inside the smoke-filled bar. Bodies fill every inch of the place just like any other Saturday night, and I begin searching faces in the crowd in order to locate Josh.

“Oh, there they are,” Sam says as she points toward the back of the bar.

My eyes zero in on the direction her finger motioned to, and, finally, I spot Josh standing there with a pool stick in his hand, leaning against the wall. Curiosity as to what my date looks like fills my mind, and my eyes instantly flit over to the guy Josh is standing next to. The moment my eyes land on a familiar face, my mouth falls agape.

I grab Sam’s arm, halting her from going any farther. “Hold up. My date is Wes? Are you kidding me? I could strangle you right now for not warning me about this. You know I’m not ready for this.”

Sam twists her pouty pink lips. “He loves you, London, and he’s a nice guy. Give him a shot.”

I fold my arms over my chest, silently stewing and debating turning around and walking right back out the door.

Sam’s shoulders slump when she sees I’m not pleased about this. “Look, London, I didn’t mean to piss you off. You’re my best friend, and my heart breaks every time I watch you cry over Jared. Think of this as a lovin’ push toward possible happiness.”

I sigh. How can I be pissed at her when it’s obvious that her sneaking around and plotting behind my back came from a good place? While my love for Wes isn’t anything romantic, maybe someday it could be if I figure out a way to let go. I owe it to him and myself to see if being with him can help me find happiness again.

I glance back in Josh’s direction, and he elbows Wes and then points to where Sam and I are standing. A bashful smile fills Wes’s face, and he slowly lifts his hand and mouths the word “hi” to me.

I hook my arm through Sam’s and decide that now is the time to open myself up to taking a chance on a new direction in my life. “Okay.”

Sam smiles at me, and I can tell she’s pleased that I’m giving in. “Let’s go have some fun.”

Six months after the night Sam and Josh set me up on the blind date with Wes, I find myself standing on the stage in a church. I watch the door in the back of the room just as anxiously as Josh, waiting for a girl who means so much to each of us. When the “Wedding March” finally plays, everyone in the room stands up, and the door finally opens, revealing Sam, who looks more beautiful than ever.

With her arm tucked tightly under her dad’s, Sam makes her way down the aisle, taking care to not trip over her dress and fall. Most people in this room don’t know it, but Sam is working on her fourth month of pregnancy, and with the war still in full swing, Josh thought enlisting in active duty would be a good way to support his little family. He ships out in two weeks, and Sam and he planned this wedding on the fly to ensure they get the full benefits package that the army provides.

Sam’s dad hands her off to Josh, and the pastor informs everyone that they may be seated. I stand next to my best friend on the most important day of her life as she marries the man that she loves wholeheartedly.

It’s times like these that make me think of Jared, since our plan was to get married someday.

It makes me wonder if this would have been us, standing in a church, professing our love for all to see. I’ve noticed with all the time I’ve spent helping Sam plan her wedding that I’ve been thinking more and more crazy things like this lately.

I stare down at Wes, who sits on a pew next to my dad, and when he catches me looking at him, he smiles. Wes and I have been together nearly every day since Sam forced me to open my eyes that night at the pool hall and see that Wes really cares about me. Other than Sam, he is my closest friend, and I don’t know what I would’ve done without him over the past couple of years. He’s really helped me hold everything together. I think in large part it’s just the fact that he knows what I’ve been through, and why I’m not ready to date again, that has helped a lot. He knows how much I loved his brother and knows that I struggle each and every day to forget about him and just move on, without much success.

Since it’s obvious to me now that Wes wants more than friendship with me, I’ve tried to be more conscious about not leading him on. I tried to distance myself from him and not depend on him so much, but he makes it pretty damn easy to lean on him when I need support.

“You may now kiss your bride,” the pastor says, causing a huge smile to erupt on Josh’s face, and he leans in and cups Sam’s face before planting a kiss square on her lips. We all cheer as they turn and face the congregation. “May I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Clayborn.”

Music plays and they walk out, and I follow them, wondering if this will ever be me someday. I know Wes is in love with me, but I’m still hesitant to take things to the next level . . . but maybe someday. The best I can hope for is that I will find a man who loves me enough to want to make me his forever at some point—one who will love me as much as I do him. I thought I found that once with Jared. I was wrong, but I’m still determined to not give up on love, and I pray that one day it finds me again.

NOW

LONDON

A
loud chirp sounds as a text hits my cell while I sit at a red light. I glance at my phone and am surprised to see it’s from Julie, and she wants me to come over to her place to talk. Ever since Wes and I have separated, I have purposefully stayed away from her. It’s too hard to look at her and know that I’m hurting her Wes, and I’ve not been ready to face her just yet.

Almost as if she can sense my reservation, a second text comes through:
Please
.

I sigh, knowing that it’s time to sit down and talk to the woman who’s been like a second mother to me ever since I lost my own.

A horn blares behind me, and I head to Dad’s house, since he’s right down the street. When I pull up against the curb out front of Dad’s and get out of the car, I glance toward the Kraft house and notice Jared out front mowing his mother’s lawn.

I can’t take my eyes off Jared as he works. It’s like we’re magnets, and I’m drawn to him whether I want to be or not. I twirl my car keys in my fingers and then walk down the sidewalk toward him.

Sun shines down on his shirtless back, and I watch his muscles work beneath his skin as he pushes the machine over the green blades of grass. His blue jeans hug his backside perfectly.

I forgot how unbelievably sexy he is without his shirt on. When he rounds the corner, he notices me standing on the sidewalk watching him, so he cuts the engine on the mower.

He squints one eye like he’s trying to block out the sun. “London?”

I glance nervously to the driveway and notice Julie’s car isn’t there.

I raise my hand up in greeting. “Hey. Do you know that time your mom will be home from the shop? She asked me to stop by so we could talk about something, but now I can’t reach her because the battery on my cell died.”

He pulls a shirt from his back pocket and wipes his face but doesn’t bother putting it back on. “No idea. Do you want to come in and try her cell?”

I nod, standing there ogling the perfectly toned, tattooed male body in front of me. “Yeah. That would be great.”

He motions me toward the house and then follows me up the stoop. I can feel his blue eyes boring into my backside. Knowing that he’s checking me out makes me feel desired.

“Phone is on the counter.” Jared walks into the kitchen and washes his hands. “Do you want something to drink? I bought some beer last night.”

“Yeah, that would—” I quickly stop myself. I don’t need to sit and casually drink with the man that I lust after most. I need to keep a clear head around him so I don’t do something stupid. “Just some water would be fine.”

The cabinet doors creak open and then slam shut as he grabs a glass and goes to the refrigerator to use the ice maker. “So what’s going on?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “I’m not sure. She just texted me and asked me to stop by and chat.”

He chews his bottom lip. “That’s odd, considering she just left here about thirty minutes ago and told me she was meeting the ladies from her book club for dinner. The way she talked, she’ll be gone for quite a while.”

He hands me the glass of ice water. “Thank you.” I take a small sip. “Do you know how long you’ll be sticking around?”

Jared pops the top off a beer and then leans back against the counter. “I’m not sure. I guess I’m off until our lead singer decides to come out of hiding, which I’m hoping is soon, considering that we don’t get paid if we don’t play any gigs. Record sales barely make any money these days. It’s all about touring.”

“Makes sense, I guess, but that sucks for you.”

He smiles. “Tell me about it. My job as a musician is so uncertain. It’s not like we have a retirement plan, but it’s nice that I’m able to invest a lot while the money is rolling in.”

“You sound a lot like your dad when you say stuff like that,” I tell him, but grimace because I’m sure that’s still a very sore subject for him.

He gives me a closed-mouth smile. “Thanks. I wish he was here now. There are so many things I want to talk to him about.”

“That’s how I feel about my mom. There are days—like today—that I miss her so bad. It would be so much easier if I could just pick up the phone and call her—ask for her advice.”

He nods. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

I open my mouth to say more about Henry but hold back because I don’t want to push the subject too far and make Jared uncomfortable. So far he seems very calm and rational—a far cry from five years ago.

I bite my lip but then decide to just continue bringing up his father to gauge where he’s at emotionally with his father’s death, because last time I saw him he couldn’t handle it. “I really loved Henry. He was like a father to me too, so I understand why you lost it the way you did after he passed. He was pretty amazing.”

“That he was,” Jared says softly as he stares into my eyes. It seems that he has no trouble talking about his dad now.

He sighs. “I was wrong for taking off the way I did, London. I’ve apologized to Mom I don’t know how many times, but I’m so sorry that it took me until recently to tell you that. I loved you so much, and you don’t know how bad I wish that I’d never screwed things up between us. I would say that I wish I could have a second chance to prove to you how much you mean to me and how I would never leave you like I did before, but I know that’s not fair of me to say. You’re with Wes now, and I have to learn to deal with that.”

Tears burn my eyes. “You don’t know how bad I wish that too, but you hurt me so much. I cried for you—still do. You completely wrecked me. Wes and I—it just sort of happened. I was lonely and he was there for me through a really dark period in my life. I never meant for me and Wes—”

He steps to me and presses his index finger to my lips. “Don’t. You don’t have to be sorry for that. I wasn’t there for you, and Wes was. I understand why you gave it a shot with him.”

I stare at him in amazement. This wasn’t the reaction I expected from him. The old Jared would’ve been angry with me no matter how many times I apologized for marrying his brother. This new side of him seems to understand and has compassion for the mistake I made, which only makes me explain how I still feel about him.

“He reminded me so much of you. The things that attracted me to him pushed me away at the same time. Every day I was with him, I thought of you. Being around him reminded me of what I lost with you. Wes knew it—but he loved me anyway. I just couldn’t love him back in the same way—not the way I loved you. You were it for me, and that’s why things were doomed from the start with Wes and me.”

He cups my face. “London . . .”

“Jared.” I can only whisper his name in return before he pulls me in for a kiss.

He doesn’t move too fast. He holds my face in his hands as he presses his mouth to mine. There’s no urgency in his actions. It’s almost as if he’s taking the time to savor every second of this.

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in tighter. “I’ve missed you so much. Can you ever forgive me for leaving you—for that night in the parking lot? For everything? You should hate me, I know that, but I swear to God if you’ll let me, I’ll make it up to you.”

For years I’ve dreamed of him saying this, begging for my forgiveness and promising that he would make it up to me. I know I should hate him and not give in so easy, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want this so bad. I still love him, and I need to know that I can trust him again and that his intentions with my heart are pure.

I lean my forehead against his. “God, I want to believe that, but I’m scared. I can’t take you crushing my heart again.”

He squeezes his eyes shut like it pains him to look at me, and then he opens them and pulls back to meet my gaze head-on. “I deserve that. God knows I did you wrong. Please give me a shot. I’ll understand if you guard your heart for a while until I can prove to you that I’m deserving of it.”

Jared cups my face. “You’re
my
girl, London. There’s no one else but you, and never has been, and I’ll love you until my very last day on this earth.”

I stare into his blue eyes and then touch his bottom lip with my thumb. “I want this with you so much.”

“I want you too, but I want to know that I’m your choice. That you and Wes—that whatever that was between the two of you is over. Finished. I need that peace of mind before we go any further.”

I can see the pleading in his eyes for the permission he needs to claim me as his own again. I bite my bottom lip as I speak the truth out loud. “Wes and I were over before we ever began. It’s you that I love, Jared. It always has been.”

Jared smiles as he grips my hips and lifts me up to the counter with ease before hitching my legs around his waist. “You don’t know how happy that makes me to hear you say that. I swear, I’ll never leave your side again. Not ever.”

I melt into his words. They mean so much to me. I’ve wanted to hear them for so long, and I can’t help but give in to the moment and kiss him with all my might. This, in turn, excites him. Jared’s hands are everywhere, tugging on my clothes in order to get his hands onto my bare skin. When he threads his fingers into my hair, he pulls me deeper into his kiss. This is the ultimate way to make a woman feel desired—to act like you can’t get enough of her and want her so much you can barely stand it. I absolutely love the way it makes me feel.

His hands settle on my hips as he pulls me even closer, pushing himself between my legs. The shorts I’m wearing creep up my thighs and stretch across the skin of my legs. His lips attack mine, and I find myself completely immersed in him.

I adjust my hips and feel the hard cock in his jeans rub up against me. No man has ever been able to arouse me this much. There’s something about Jared that attracts me, and I’m drawn to him no matter what bad shit he’s done. The way he so blatantly wants me—the way he’s laid it all out there on the line—is a complete turn-on.

“God, London, I’ve missed this—us—so much. No other woman holds my heart, never has. Only you,” Jared says. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. So sorry.”

He keeps chanting those words softly in my ear, over and over. Every instinct inside me tells me that he means it, which only reignites all the old feelings that I had for him, bringing them all to the forefront in full force.

It’s always been Jared who’s owned my heart. Wes has only been a crutch—someone I used to convince myself that I was over Jared. All those nights lying awake and wondering where Jared was and if he was thinking about me, I’ve finally gotten my answer. He was dreaming of me too.

The heat of his stare overwhelms me as he pulls back and then presses his lips to mine. My panties grow wet, and I’m so turned on by finally being in his arms again that I can’t see straight.

Dear God. I can’t believe he’s gotten even sexier with time.

“I want you so much,” he whispers before kissing the sensitive flesh below my ear. “Tell me you want me too.”

Those words flowing from his lips cause the rational side of my brain to shut down completely and allow my greedy body to take control of my actions.

I grab his face and crush my lips to his. My fingers find their way into his thick, dark hair as I hold him in place while he returns my kiss with such passion that I’m sure my panties are about to ignite.

My hands roam over the rigid muscles of Jared’s rock-hard abs before I grind my pelvis against him.

When my eyes drift down to his body, I lick my lips in anticipation. The pronounced “V” of his hips points like an arrow at what I know is a considerable length hiding behind those jeans.

I move my hand down to the button of his fly while he pulls my blouse over my head. He dips his head down to the tops of my breasts. He drags his lips over the mounded flesh as he works my white, lacey bra down to expose my puckered nipples.

“You are so perfect,” Jared murmurs before sucking one of my nipples into his mouth.

We tear away each other’s clothing, but it’s like we can’t get each other naked fast enough. The sounds of both of us panting fill the room while we take turns licking, kissing, and tasting one another.

Jared drags my panties down my legs and then shoves his underwear down too, clearing away all things from between us.

He hooks his arms under my thighs and pulls my hips to the edge of the counter before he uses his fingers to splay open my most sensitive flesh and rub my clit.

I writhe against the palm of his hand and my head drops back. “Jared . . .” I say his name like a plea. It’s been far too long since I’ve experienced such pleasure that I don’t want it to end.

Saying his name only causes his finger to move faster, circling and teasing me, causing that familiar euphoric feeling of an impending orgasm to rush through my body.

Every nerve ending in me ignites as I let loose and fall into the bliss of pure ecstasy.

His lips connect with mine and our mouths meld together. I’ve missed this—I’ve missed him so damn much.

I press my pussy against his crotch and rub myself against his cock. “I want you.”

He inhales sharply through his nose and then blows his hot breath across my lips. “God, I want you too. So much.”