Wild (32 page)

To his credit, Mitch’s demeanor wasn’t exactly victorious. If he’d won, he’d taken no pleasure in it. He was a competitive person, physical in many respects, but more of a thinker than a brawler. She couldn’t have guessed how he’d react to her affair with Josh. Although his aggressive response didn’t surprise her, a cold dismissal seemed more like him.

He didn’t say anything, and the nurse continued working. When Helena winced in pain, he reached out to hold her hand. She accepted the gesture, swallowing hard.

After months apart, his hand felt like a foreign object. It was large and strong, pale from the cold Denver winter. His knuckles were scraped, like Josh’s.

The nurse finished the sutures and placed a bandage over Helena’s shoulder. Then she left them in the overflowing cafeteria, moving on to the next patient.

Helena let go of Mitch’s hand and straightened her clothing. When she was decent, she met his gaze warily. “Did you fly in?”

“No, I drove straight through as soon as I heard.”

She nodded, feeling miserable. “Long trip.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you slept?”

“I got a few hours last night. They wouldn’t let civilians into the city, so I volunteered at one of the evacuation centers. Gwen was there. She left earlier today.”

Helena was relieved to hear about her friend. “I’m glad she’s okay.”

He asked about her injury, and she gave him an abbreviated version of this morning’s events. It was awkward to talk about Josh after Mitch had walked in on them together. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I think that’s why we’re in this position.”

He was referring to their lack of communication. She couldn’t argue. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

She couldn’t believe he’d driven all the way from Denver. Her betrayal must have felt like a slap in the face.

“I can’t blame you for…whatever happened with that guy,” Mitch said. “I don’t like it, but I understand. I’ve been gone for months. Even before I left, we were struggling. I wasn’t providing for you.”

“I didn’t care about that—”

“I wasn’t satisfying you.”

She fell silent, unable to disagree.

A muscle in his jaw flexed. “I knew you weren’t happy, and I knew the long-distance thing wasn’t working out, but I didn’t expect this.”

“Neither did I.”

“I feel like a fool.”

“No,” she said, guilt-stricken. “You’re not.”

“I am. I left a beautiful woman alone and unfulfilled.”

She shook her head in denial. He was killing her—and she deserved every word.

“I thought you’d miss me.”

“I did.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

Her stomach clenched in regret. There was nothing she could say to make this better. No amount of apologizing would ease the hurt she’d caused.

“You didn’t ask me to come back,” he said.

“You didn’t ask me to move to Denver, either.”

“Would you have considered it?”

“No.”

“You always loved your elephants more than me,” he said with a wry smile.

“That’s not true,” she said, but it was a weak protest. When the going got tough between them, she’d retreated into work. Because, as dangerous as elephants could be, interacting with them felt safer. She could love them from afar. They didn’t expect her to communicate or provide emotional support. They didn’t count on her for anything but basic care.

He rubbed a hand over his mouth, pensive. “My boss has been looking into a new job site in Southern California. If everything works out, I might be able to transfer.”

She stared at him in shock.

“I was hoping to surprise you with the news in person.”

They’d scheduled a visit for early summer, because he hadn’t been able to get away over the holidays. She’d been planning to talk with him then. If she’d known he was considering a return to the area, she might have felt better about their relationship. So much for her selfish wishes that Mitch would be relieved by the breakup.

“I can see that I shouldn’t have waited,” he said.

“Why did you?”

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me back, to be honest. You’ve been distant. We haven’t talked about staying together.”

“We haven’t talked much, period.”

“I know,” he said. “I take responsibility for that.”

She didn’t like the way he was maneuvering her into a passive role. She wasn’t a dog who’d escaped and roamed the neighborhood because of a derelict owner. She was a woman who’d made a conscious choice to disregard their commitment. He had every right to be angry.

“This is my fault,” he said.

“It’s
not
your fault.”

“I left you unattended.”

“And I dug under the fence?”

His determined gaze met hers. "You made a mistake. I can overlook it.”

She inhaled a sharp breath. “You can?”

“I still love you.”

The words were like a dagger, straight through her heart. His forgiveness was so much harder to accept than his anger. She believed he meant what he said, but she also knew him. He was stubborn and competitive. He couldn’t stand losing her to another man.

“Do you remember when I took that pregnancy test?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“I was disappointed when it turned out negative.”

He seemed baffled by this news. “Why?”

“I guess I changed my mind about having kids, after Mbali.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No.”

“I had no idea.”

She hadn’t told him for the same reason they hadn’t talked about their other problems. Some differences were impossible to overcome. “I was going to say something about it, but then you lost your job, and we drifted apart. Instead of reaching out to you, I withdrew.”

He didn’t understand. He was the type of person who preferred to fix things on his own. Taking responsibility for her affair was his way of staying in control. “Why are you telling me this?”

She struggled with her answer. It didn’t matter if Mitch came back to San Diego or reversed his stance about having a family. He was a good man, and she’d always care about him, but she didn’t want to reunite with him. They couldn’t salvage their relationship. “I should have been honest about my feelings back then. The only thing I can do is be honest now. I’m not in love with you anymore.”

He flinched at those harsh words. “Maybe you never were.”

She couldn’t blame him for lashing out at her, but his lack of faith hurt. They hadn’t been the most affectionate couple, but she’d loved him. She still loved him, in a way. It was like a fading pulse, almost indiscernible.

When she was with Josh, her heart galloped wildly.

Her feelings for Josh weren’t going away anytime soon. She realized that now, and she was starting to adjust. The intensity of emotion scared her. It was the difference between riding the aerial tram and dangling from the side. That second experience had made the first seem tame.

She couldn’t say she wasn’t afraid of what the future might hold. Josh was more of a challenge than Mitch. He’d probably annoy her as often as he made her laugh. The highs would be higher and the lows would be lower. But he’d be a true partner, sharing his soul with her, working alongside her without taking over.

There were no guarantees, of course. They might burn out as fast as they’d flared up. Even if they did, she wouldn’t regret her decision to end her relationship with Mitch. She wasn’t right for him; they were too similar. He’d be an excellent match for someone else. When he found a woman who suited him, he’d recognize that.

For now, he was just pissed off. He walked away from Helena and strode through the cafeteria with his hands clenched into fists. Josh was waiting by the door. As Mitch passed by, he shoved Josh into the hallway, sending him sprawling.

Then he kept going and didn’t look back.

***

Josh couldn’t believe it.

She’d picked
him
over Mitch.

He’d watched their entire conversation from a distance, and he could read body language. Mitch was no dummy. He wanted to keep Helena for himself. Who wouldn’t? She was a fine-ass woman, strong and smart and sexy. She managed elephants and wrestled lions. She was basically a dream come true, better than any comic-book fantasy.

And she wanted him, Josh Garrison.

Hoo-yah.

He didn’t even care about Mitch’s late hit. Josh scrambled to his feet, his blood pumping. Nothing could knock him down right now; he was high on emotion. He straightened the chair he’d tipped over in a clumsy rush.

Helena approached him with a smile. She was holding her jacket under one arm. Her left shoulder was bandaged, her tank top bloody and frayed.

He was suddenly unsure of himself. She might have told Mitch to take a hike, but that didn’t mean she was ready for a replacement boyfriend. Mitch hadn’t signed over her ownership papers in the process of trading punches.

“You need some ice,” she said, touching the side of his face.

“You should see the other guy.”

“I did.”

“How’d he look?”

“Like the winner.”

“I went easy on him.”

She rolled her eyes at this lie.

“He wasn’t the winner,” Josh pointed out. “I’m the one here with you.”

“Maybe that was his choice.”

“No.”

She glanced away, shrugging. She looked a little sad. Her conversation with Mitch couldn’t have been pleasant.

“Is there anything I need to know?” he asked.

“Like what?”

“I won’t stand for him calling you names.”

“He didn’t.”

Josh was glad to hear it. “How’s your shoulder?”

“Fine. I’ll get the stitches out next week.”

“You’re lucky that swipe didn’t hit you in the neck.”

“That’s what the nurse said.”

He rubbed his sore jaw, contemplative. “Let’s go find some ice.”

They spent the next hour with Emma and Mateo while Chloe recovered from surgery. Volunteers passed out drinks and snacks in the waiting area, which was nice. The woman sitting next to Mateo chatted with him in Spanish. She had four children with her of various ages, and they all spoke English.

“Can you translate for me?” Josh asked the oldest boy. He had a lip ring and long bangs that he kept flipping to the side.

“Sure,” he said, shrugging.

“I’m Josh.”

“Daniel.”

“Good to meet you, Daniel. I just want to know what happened to my sister.”

Mateo told Daniel that he’d been on a bus with his soccer team, crossing over the Coronado Bridge. The earthquake struck, and some of the vehicles plummeted into the bay. One of them was a red car. His sister’s. Mateo said he knew she had a chance to survive the fall because the bridge was only half-collapsed at this point. They were about fifty feet above the surface. He made a wave motion with his hand, indicating that the water below was choppy. He watched her car sink.

“My God,” Helena murmured, leaning in to listen.

Mateo went on to say that he swam after Chloe, but he couldn’t find her.

Josh interrupted him. “Wait. How did you get in the water?”

“I jump,” Mateo said.

“No.”

“Yes,” he said, nodding. Mateo said that his teammates had discouraged him from climbing out of the bus. But he did it anyway, and he jumped off the side of the bridge. Seconds later, that section of the bridge fell into the bay, taking the bus with it. As far as he knew, none of the men on board had survived.

“Wow,” Josh said.

Mateo fell silent for a moment, saddened by this loss. The woman next to him made a sign of the cross. Then he continued the story. By some miracle, the current swept him toward Chloe and Emma. When he saw that she had a child, he took Emma and swam to shore. Then he came back for Chloe.

And that was just the beginning of their adventures.

Mateo talked about hiding from the fires the first day, and traveling most of the next. This morning, Chloe had been feverish when she woke up. She shouldn’t have been walking, he said. They were on Birdie Trail when she fainted.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Josh said.

“No thanks necessary,” Daniel answered, translating.

Josh shook Mateo’s hand, and Daniel’s hand. The story blew him away. Josh didn’t think he’d have had the balls to jump off a bridge to save his own sister, let alone a complete stranger. He knew he couldn’t rescue anyone from a sinking vehicle. What Mateo had done for Chloe and Emma was nothing short of amazing.

As evening fell on the third day after the earthquake, Emma drifted off in Josh’s arms. Chloe was safe in the recovery room. Helena laced her fingers through his and rested her head on his shoulder, sharing the peaceful moment with him.

They were alive, and they were together, and that was more than enough.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

C
HLOE DOZED OFF
and on, dreaming about wild animals.

In one, a crouching cat leapt from the bushes and onto the okapi’s back, digging its powerful claws into zebra-striped hindquarters. In another, Emma pressed a button on her book to send the events into motion. When she made the tiger growl, the animal appeared before her, conjured from the page.

Chloe was told that her surgery had been a success. She got transferred to a smaller room. There were at least two other patients behind curtained partitions. A nurse helped her use the restroom and removed her IV. Chloe fell asleep again, waking at sunset.

Josh was there.

Tears flooded her eyes at the sight of him. She thought he’d been with her this morning by the nature trail, and later at the naval hospital. But dreams and reality had blurred together, leaving her confused about which was which. “Where’s Emma?”

“In the waiting room, asleep.”

“With Mateo?”

“Yes.”

Josh offered her a sip of water from a straw and adjusted her bed so she could sit up. Then he took a seat by the windowsill. His clothes were dirty and torn. He had unruly stubble, scrapes on his face and bandages on his arms.

“You look terrible.”

“I’ve had a rough day.”

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

When she shook her head, he told her the story. Her stomach tightened as she imagined how close to death he’d come. How close Emma had come.