Wild Child (8 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN- Rusty

There’s absolutely no doubt I have qualms about the last words Jenna and I said to each other. Unfortunately, she did as I asked and she stayed away.  Not only has it been lonely and boring, but I’ve got too much time on my hands to think about her.

I teeter between regret and bitterness.  On the one hand, I feel like I pushed her away.  Maybe she would’ve proved me right and gone anyway.  But maybe, just maybe, she’d have proved me wrong and she’d have hung around.  If I hadn’t practically pushed her out the door, that is.

But after dwelling on that for a little while, bitterness rushes in.  Even if Jenna had stayed longer, it wouldn’t have been permanent. And I’m nobody’s charity case.  I don’t want her hanging around here because she feels sorry for me.  Oh, hell no!

Needless to say, I’m pretty much a bear by the time Trick and Cami get home from their honeymoon and come to see me.

“Got a regular room now, huh, haus?  I heard you spent some time in the ICU,” Trick says as he strides in, Cami’s hand tucked firmly in his.  They’re both tan and glowing.  And not just the skin kind of glowing. It’s the kind that radiates from somewhere deeper, the kind that comes from being happy all the way down to your soul.

“Good God, it’s about time!” I say.  “I’m surprised there’s anything left of her.  How long has it been?”

Trick laughs.  Cami blushes.  “Just two weeks, you dick.  What the hell’s the matter with you?”

“Other than the obvious?” I ask.

“Yes, smart ass.  Other than the obvious.”

“I’m in here. Isn’t that enough?”

“I figured you’d be milking this and getting three sponge baths a day from Jenna,” he teases.

“Not hardly.”

Trick gives me an exasperated sigh.  “All right, what’d you say to her?  This
has to be
your fault. Otherwise, Jenna would probably be here right now, soaping up her sponge.”

“You mean you haven’t talked to her since you got back?”

“
I
haven’t.”

We both look at Cami.  Her eyes get wide and her expression turns to that of a cornered animal.  “What?  We literally just drove in from the airport.  I haven’t seen
anybody
yet.”

“Haven’t
seen,
but have you
talked
to anybody?” Trick asks.

 Cami’s mouth opens a couple of times like she wants to say something, but finally she closes it and sighs.  “Yes.”

“Jenna?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And, she asked if we’d been by yet. I told her we hadn’t.”

“That’s it?”

“Pretty much.”  Cami looks from me to Trick and back again.  She rocks back on her heels and drops Trick’s hand to smack her own together.  “So, where’s the vending machine?  I need to get a bottle of water or something. I’m thirsty.”

Likely story,
I think.  But I don’t say that. “I walked by some yesterday when they let me out of bed to do PT.  Down the hall and to the left.”

“They already let you out of bed?”  Trick asks after Cami leaves.

“Hell yeah, they did!  I almost kissed the poor guy that was my nurse yesterday when he told me.  Before that, my arm was in traction.  I couldn’t even take a piss without it being a big production.”

“How’d you do when you finally got to get up?”

“They wanted me to take it slow.  Evidently I strained some ligaments in my hip pretty bad.  But I was bound and determined that, come hell or high water, I was getting out of this damn bed.  I wanted ‘em to know I was ready to be discharged.”

I pause before I finish telling him what happened.  It’s during that time that Trick, my best friend who knows me better than anybody, figures it out.

“Busted your ass, didn’t you?”

I can’t help but grin.  “Pretty much.  I was a lot weaker than I thought I’d be.  When the therapist got me up, I tried to walk ahead.  Thought I’d show him how self-sufficient I am.  Well, I showed him all right.”

Trick throws back his head and laughs.  I shake my head, letting him get it out of his system.  “Did it get better after they scooped up your pathetic ass?”

“Yeah, a little. I’m still kinda weak, but I’m doing as much as I can from the bed.  I’ll be out of here as soon as is humanly possible.”

Trick nods his head, still smiling.  When the silence stretches on, he steps closer to the bed.  “So, what happened with Jenna?  You did something stupid, didn’t you?”

“Man, why do you always take her side?”

“Because I know you.  You’re a guy.  We do stupid shit.”

“Well, it wasn’t me this time.  She was getting ready to leave soon anyway. I spared her the trouble of having to come back up here and babysit.”

“You really
are
an idiot, aren’t you?”

“No, because I was right.  She’s not staying around here, Trick.  That was never her plan. And it still isn’t.  She’s getting a job somewhere else.  Period.  The end.”

“Just because she doesn’t want to live in this town forever doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you.  Hell,
you
even talk about getting away from here and opening up a classic restoration shop near a big city.  How is that any different?”

“Because I’d never leave someone I loved.  Not for a job, not for anything.”

“Have you ever
asked
her to stay?  For you?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I know she doesn’t want to. Why would I ask her to stay when I know she doesn’t want to?”

“Then how the hell can you be mad at her for leaving?”

I’m getting irritated.  “Look, I can’t explain it to you.  You obviously don’t get it.  She’s not the kind to stick around.  That’s it.  It was a fun thing while it lasted. Now it’s over.  Leave it the hell alone, will ya?”

Trick just shakes his head, but he doesn’t say anything more about it.  Even though, in a way, I wish he would.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN- Jenna

I wander aimlessly through the house.  I stroll through the den, with its comfy brown sofa and dark cream walls, then into the dining room.  I let my fingers trail over the chair backs, making note of the worn edges.  It’s the suit my grandparents gave to my parents as a housewarming gift when they signed over the orchard then left for retirement in Florida.  It was brand new once upon a time.  Now it looks old and worn.  And loved.  Every smooth spot, every faded spot is the result of being handled thousands of times by Mom and Dad, and by Jake and me. 

Although my father sent us off to school shortly after my mother’s death, this house still holds a million precious memories. They’re just not enough to make me want to stay here.  Few things are.

I move on into the kitchen, noticing, as I always do, the faint smell of peaches.  It must be permanently embedded in the wood of the floors and the plaster of the walls.  The kitchen always smells sweet, just like the orchard outside.

“How much longer you gonna be able to put these people off, Jenna?”

Startled, I whirl around toward the back door.  I find Cristos Theopolis, my father, standing there watching me.  His eyes are the same warm honey color as my brother’s, only right now, they hold concern.  That’s the only difference because Jake’s never do.  Somehow, life made his heart hard and mostly inaccessible.

I sigh.  “A little while longer.  It’s just an interview, Daddy.”

“Just an interview. 
Just
the rest of your life, you mean.”

“Who’s to say I’d even like working there?  A degree in business with a focus in marketing is hardly a narrow field.  I could work anywhere, in any number of settings.”

“It’s a great company, Jenna. You’re the one who tried to sell
me
on them just a couple of months ago.  Why the sudden hesitation?”

“I…I…I don’t know,” I say with a shrug, making my way to the kitchen window to look out.

“What’s gotten into you, Jen?  Lately, you’re so distracted. You seem restless and...well, unhappy.”

I sigh.  “I guess I was just hoping Rusty would be out of the hospital before I left.”

“Rusty?  I thought you two broke up.”

“We did.  If we were ever really together, that is.”

“What does that mean?”

I sigh again. “Oh nothing.  I guess I’m just…waiting.”

“On what?  What is it you think will happen if he gets out before you go?”

“I don’t know, I—”

“Do you think he might propose?  I mean, you’re broken up.  Wouldn’t waiting around be silly?  Maybe you ought to move on.”

His words hit a tender spot.  “God, Daddy, I’m not stupid. I know he’s not gonna get out and come to beg me back.  But I’d like to make sure his life gets back to normal, you know?”

“And if it doesn’t?  What then?  What is it you think you’ll be able to do for him?”

“
I
can’t do anything for him. I know that.  But if things don’t work out for him around here…”

“Jenna, you’ve got to stop this.  You can’t put your life on hold for a boy.”

“He’s not a boy, Daddy.  And he’s not just ‘a boy’ anyway.  I love him.  If there’s even a small chance that we could be together, I’ll wait for it.”

Even to my own ears, I sound deluded and pathetic.  And that breaks my heart into even smaller pieces.  I seem to be the only one who can’t let go, who can’t move on.

“You’d want him to come to you just because he’s got nothing else left? You’d want him to choose you because there’s no better option?”

That’s like a scalpel to my stomach.  “Of course not.” 

“Then how long do you wait, honey?  How long is
too
long?  Have you ever thought of that?  What is the cut-off for him choosing you first?  Because you deserve to be
first
.”

For the millionth time, I feel the burn of tears at the back of my eyes.  “I don’t know.  But I can’t leave yet.  I can’t do it, Daddy.”  I feel like I’m hanging on by the world’s thinnest thread of hope. But it’s not enough to hold
me
together.  I crumble. “I just can’t do it. I can’t leave him like that.”

I bury my face in my hands.  Within a few seconds, I feel strong, familiar arms come around me.  One hand strokes my hair as my father soothes me. “Shhh, baby girl.  It’ll all work out. I promise.  Just let it happen like it’s supposed to. Don’t fight it.”

The problem with that advice is that I’m afraid I already know how it’s supposed to work out.  I’m just not sure I can live with it.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN- Rusty

I guess that’s what happens when you’re a total asshole to pretty much everyone—they stop coming to see you.  I was blaming my grouchy mood on being confined in a twelve by twelve room with one window, a door and a lot of machinery, but now I’m beginning to see what the problem really is.  Every person that walks through the door who’s
not
Jenna pisses me off. Instantly.

Trick was coming to see me every day at first and staying for a couple hours at a time, but now he stops by once and never really settles in.  I can tell he’s anxious to leave five minutes after he arrives. It doesn’t help that, two weeks ago, after his first visit back from his honeymoon, I told both him and Cami that I didn’t want to talk about Jenna.  So we don’t.  Ever.  They never mention her.  And, of course, I never ask.  I guess she’s gone and gotten her a great job somewhere.  And I guess I’ll never know unless I swallow some damn pride and ask.

But, then again, do I really want to know?  Do I really want to know how happy she is, living somewhere else, without me?  No, not really.  That feels an awful lot like twisting the knife .

With Trick’s visit for the day already over and done with, the only thing I have to look forward to is PT.  They tell me that I’m doing so well with my deep breathing, my range of motion exercises, and my ambulation (a fancy word for walking) that I’ll soon be discharged until my arm cast comes off.  Then I’ll start PT all over again.

That’s all fine and good. I just want out of
this
place.  A.S.A.P.  I need to get on with my life, too.  Whatever kind of life that may be.

CHAPTER NINETEEN- Jenna

“So, how is he?  Is he getting stronger?  Did he get a discharge date yet?”  I pound Cami with questions the instant she answers the phone. I know Trick was supposed to go for his morning visit and should be back by now.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Give me ten seconds to answer each one.  Sheesh,” she moans.  I give her absolute silence as I wait.  “Trick’s still calling him a ‘grouchy bastard’ if that tells you anything about how he is.  Still not happy about being in the hospital.  Yes, he is getting stronger.  He’s aced all his PT stuff and is up walking the halls at all hours of the day and night, evidently.  And yes, he got a date.  Well sort of.”

I feel a gasp stick in my chest.  “What do you mean he ‘sort of’ got a date?”

“They’re saying within the next couple of days. I have no idea what the date is contingent upon.”

“Well why didn’t Trick ask?”

“Jenna!  He doesn’t think like you do.  He’s a guy.  Remember?”  She sighs. 

“I know. I’m sorry.  I’m just so curious.”

“I know,” she says, her tone quiet. Somber. 

I pause, debating the wisdom of asking my next question.  I’ve asked it a couple of times before and the answer always upsets me.  But still, I can’t seem to help myself from holding onto hope.

At least for a little while longer.

“Did he ask about me?”

There’s a pause.

“No.”

Although, yes, there’s a stabbing pain through my heart, I also get irritated.  How the hell can he just move on like that?

“So he hasn’t mentioned me, not one time, since y’all have been back?”  Static crackles on the line between us.  And my heart drops through the floorboards of my bedroom.  “Tell me, Cami.  I need to know.  I’m driving myself crazy, and if something has happened, I need to know.”

“Nothing has happened…” she says vaguely.

“Then what was said?”

“The second time I went to see him, he said he didn’t want to talk about you, not to bring you up.”

“But why?” I ask, my voice small even to my own ears.

“He said he was tired of hearing about it.”

I can hear the pain in Cami’s words.  She hates to tell me something so hurtful, but I cornered her by asking
juuuust
the right question.  Otherwise, she’d never have told me, never have hurt me with this.

But I needed to know.  As much as it hurts, I needed to know.

I look down at my hand, shaking where it rests on my thigh.  The air around me feels thick and unbreathable.  My head throbs with the need to scream.  Or cry.  Or come apart.

I clear my throat then take a deep breath, refusing to let my best friend see how deeply wounded I am.  She’s seen enough, heard enough. I won’t continue to do this to her.

“Well, in that case, I guess I have some phone calls to make.”

“Jenna, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what… I really thought…”

“Don’t be sorry.  We both hoped.  And we were both wrong.  Turns out neither of us know Rusty very well.”

“Wh-what are you going to do?” she asks carefully.

“I’m calling human resources at those two places I’ve been putting off.  If they’ve still got openings, I’m going to set up an interview again. Only this time, I’m going.  There’s nothing holding me here. Nothing and no one.”

And, for the first time since I met Rusty, I feel that’s absolutely, one hundred percent true.

“Why don’t you come over tonight?  I’ll rent some movies and we can hang out.  Or we could go to Lucky’s.  Whatever you want to do.”

I smile.  Even though I’m hiding it from her, Cami knows me well enough to know I’m dying on the inside.  And, no doubt, she’s worried about me.

“Nah.  I’ll leave you two newlyweds to your perverted sexcapades.  I think I’ll stay here with Daddy.  I need to spend some quality time with him since I won’t be here much longer.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

She sounds a little hurt by my choice.

“Because you know as well as I do that he won’t be visiting me when I move, like you will.  The man refuses to leave home.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?  What’s so fabulous about staying in Greenfield all the time?”

“Well, it’s not really Greenfield, it’s this house.  It’s where he spent time with Mom.  I don’t think he’ll ever love another place as much as he loves this one.”

Cami sighs.  “That’s so sweet.”

“I know.  Unless it ruins your life.”

“Yeah, love can go either way. If you let it.”

“I guess so.  I suppose sometimes you just have to cut your losses.”

“Sometimes you do,” she agrees.

The question is:  How?