Wild: Dark Riders Motorcycle Club (4 page)

 
"I was just some kid from the other side of the tracks, remember. The one you left without saying goodbye."

A heavy lump formed in my chest. It felt difficult to breathe. That's when I noticed the tears in his eyes, stubbornly refusing to fall.

"A few years after you left my mom died. I came home one day after school and the kitchen was full of blood.

"The cops looked around for a while and found nothing. They told me 'Sorry kid,' and closed up the case.

"I had no one. No money. Once rent was due, I didn't even have a place to live."

Asher lifted up his shirt with one hand.

"See these scars?"
 

He pointed at the jagged skin I had seen earlier. Now in the daylight I could see the raised flesh. I wanted to run my fingers over them and make them go away.

"You know what they're from?"

I shook my head.

"Selling drugs. Some days I would meet an addict with a knife. Or maybe someone who thought a young punk was moving into his turf.

"But the Dark Riders took me in. They gave me a place to stay. A job. They treated me like family."

Asher paused and looked straight into my eyes. A tear had started to make its way down his cheek.

"They never disappointed me. Never left me…"

I broke my hand out of his grasp. It was easy because his grip was barely fastened on my wrists. I touched his cheek softly and wiped away the tear.

Asher grabbed my hand, pressing it hard against his face. His stubble scratched my palm. The heat of his skin on mine burned through me. He pressed me back against the tree, and I could feel the rough bark scratch against my back.

At first, he was gentle. Asher's fingers traced over my lips slowly. He moved down my neck, exploring each collar bone and planting soft kisses on my shoulder.

Then Asher's hands went under my shirt. He dragged his fingers over my belly and up, until he reached the fabric of my bra.

I held my breath. Should we be doing this? In public? Behind an old school?

My mind said no, but my heart was racing. It felt like everything in me was hoping that he would keep going. Just a little bit more.

Asher pushed my shirt up so that he could see me, and that's when he stopped being gentle. He pulled my bra cups down. My breasts fell out and the shock of being exposed made my nipples harden.

His mouth consumed me. His hot lips moved from my breast, to my mouth, to my neck. Asher bit me as he went. The dark marks bloomed on my skin.

The heat of my body felt like a fire. I wanted more of him, more of his touch, his taste. I pulled him closer and I could feel his hardness pressing into me.

Asher dragged his hands up my legs and under my skirt. He found the boundary of my panties and tugged at it. With both hands, he started to slide the fabric out of his way.

Then he stopped.

Asher pulled away from me, stepping backwards as if he didn't even understand what had happened. Away from his crushing touch, I was cold.
 

My breasts were exposed and my skirt was hiked up around my hips. I looked like a girl who had been felt up and tossed away by a biker. Was that what I was?

Asher sat on his bike and looked at me.

"Get out of here," he said. "You don't want to be here, and no one wants you here. So go!"

"B
UT
…"

M
Y
VOICE
WAS
lost under the roar of Asher's engine. He turned and drove away, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

I stood there and watched. The dust settled and he turned into nothing more than a fast-moving dot on the horizon. I was alone.

My legs gave out on me. I fell into the dirt and started to sob.

"But I didn't want to leave!" I screamed. My voice echoed behind the old school. "I didn't want to leave you!"

I didn't have a choice. What was I supposed to do? I hadn't even turned 12 yet.

I was going to his house. Even though it was on the other side of town and my mom refused to take me, I buckled on my shoes and made for the door. That's when my dad grabbed me.

He never liked Asher. Felt that he was a bad influence. His nickname for Asher was my "hood rat friend."

My dad locked me in the car, and that was it. No matter how much I screamed, he wouldn't let me out. Even now, I don't understand why.

I cried all the way to the airport. Even the stewardesses wondered what was wrong as I stared out of the plane windows with tears rolling down my red cheeks. My father waved them away. Told them everything was just fine.

"Asher," I whispered.
 

I knew he wasn't around, but I just wanted to say it.

"I never wanted to leave you."

S
HOULD
I
LEAVE
?

A
SHER
'
S
words echoed in my mind as I rolled back and forth on my tiny childhood bed. He didn't want me here. I should go.

I rolled in front of a pink teddy bear and picked it up, squeezing the softness against my chest. Would the little girl who owned that teddy bear have imagined this future? I didn't think so.

What did I want for myself back then? I wanted to be a fairy when I grew up. Unfortunately, that's not an occupation.

My mind floated back to just a few days ago. I packed my bags and gave up
everything
. College. My scholarship.

It made sense at the time. Even though she didn't ask me to come, I wanted to take care of mom. But did she need me? Was it better for me to leave her with
them
?

I hated the thought. It seemed selfish, like I just wanted to run away.

This wasn't my plan anyway. I was supposed to get married to a guy I met in junior year. I would get a job and build a career for a while. Then we would have kids and I would be a stay-at-home mom. I would go to play dates and mommy and me functions. And then…

I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling. Was that
really
what I wanted?

The light turned on in the hallway and my bedroom door creaked open. After all these years, she still couldn't manage to spray a can of WD-40 on the hinges.

"You okay in there, baby?"

My mom peeked her head in. She didn't wait for me to respond. As soon as she saw me there on the bed, covered in my old stuffed animals, she rushed over and held me. My face rested in her lap.

"What's wrong?" she said.
 

She stroked my cheek gently. Already I felt my face growing hot and my vision blurring. I took a deep breath and held it back.

"Should I be here, mom?"

"What you mean, baby?"

"I mean should I be here? Do you want me here? Because Asher said…"

As soon as I said his name, the tears started. I sobbed into my mother's night gown, blubbering so much that it must have been impossible to understand me. I felt like I was five again, crying about scratching my knee.

"Asher said that he doesn't want me here, and that I shouldn't be here. No one wants me here.

"Maybe it's a good idea. I should leave.

"They said they'd take care of you. They can protect you, keep you safe. What can I do?

"I'll go back to school, right? I'll go back to school and make lots of money and then I'll come back. And then…"

My voice trailed off. My mom hadn't interrupted my rambling. She just patted my head and nodded. She waited until I calmed down to talk.

"You know, when your dad left, I couldn't accept it. Despite how bad everything was, I didn't want him to leave. I wanted everything to stay the way it was. The way I had planned.

"I thought I was losing everything. My prefect house up north. My perfect family. Everything.

"But look at me now. Even thought I'm sick, I'm happier than I was with all those things."

My mom bent down and kissed my cheek. I had finally stopped crying and her voice soothed me.

"Maybe you need to think a little harder about what it is that you
really
want," she said.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and sniffled a little. I turned to my mom.

"Can't you just tell me whether I should stay or not?"

My mom smiled and patted my head again.

"Nope."

She gently moved my head from her lap and stood up, walking towards my bedroom door.

"You can figure it out," she said. She turned off the light as she left.

I laid there in the dark, staring into nothingness. I was too tired to cry anymore, or to even think about anything. My body ached, but I couldn't sleep.

After a while, I got out of bed. I pulled on a shirt and jeans and grabbed my keys before walking out the door. It was the middle of the night, but I knew exactly where I was going. The only place there was to go in a town like this at this hour.

A
LL
THE
KIDS
IN
town knew about The Stables. It was the only bar, the only place in the whole town that we couldn't go. Of course, it didn't even open until we were all fast asleep. But tonight I didn't have a bedtime.

I walked up to the entryway and paused before the big neon sign. I was just about to walk in when a man with a woman on his arm stumbled past me. The smell of smoke and the sourness of the alcohol on their breath hit me when the door opened. It made my eyes water.

The man and woman hobbled by, barely able to keep from falling onto the sidewalk. I could hear them singing and laughing long after their shapes had disappeared into the darkness.

I took a deep breath, grabbed the doorknob, and jerked it open. I expected everyone to look at me, to point and laugh, but no one did. It was too dim and the majority of the people at the bar were too busy with their own problems to bother with me.

There was a seat open in front of the bartender, so I slid myself into it.

"A mojito, please? Make sure the mint and juice are really fresh…"

My words died as I saw the look on the bartender's face. The sneer creeping across his face wasn't exactly encouraging.

"I mean a Milwaukee's Best, please. Thanks."

The bartender brought out a bottle, popped it open, and slammed it down in front of me. Nice service.

I chugged down the watery brew, letting the sweetness and corn taste coat my tongue. It wasn't the best, and it sure wasn't a mojito, but it would have to do.

I was near the bottom of the bottle when two guys came and sat next to me. They smiled at one another, downing their beers in a few gulps. I tried not to pay any attention.

"A vodka cranberry for the lady here," one of the guys said.

"Oh no," I said. "It's okay, really."

"No, we insist," the other guy said. "A pretty lady like you shouldn't be drinking all alone at a bar."

When the bartender pushed the drink my way, I took it. Forcing a smile, I raised it in the guys' direction.

"Thanks," I said. "Cheers."

Hoping that would be the end of it, I started to sip the sweet cocktail.

"I'm Jim," one said. The other guy came next to him. "And I'm Will."

"I'm Lilly," I said and kept my face over my drink.

Apparently, that was enough to invite a conversation. The Stables weren't turning out to be as fun as I imagined them to be when I was a kid.
 

"Man," Will said. "What's up with those bikers coming around here these days?"

"Yeah, the other day they were around in the middle of the night making a ton of noise. Right?" Jim said.

"Mmm."
 

This was the
last
conversation I was interested in having.

"Who do they think they are?" Jim said. "Kings?"

"Kicking people out of town," Will said. "You'd think they were the bosses around there."

"Especially that Wild guy."

My eyes darted across to look at Jim. He was around my age and wore a cap that was faded from sunlight. When he noticed my interest, he continued.

"I've never seen him crack a smile," he said.

"Yeah, he walks around like he's big and bad," Will said. "I bet I could beat him up."

I finished my drink and slammed it down on the table, shocking them. Maybe it was the beer, or the vodka, or the exhaustion, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to sit there while they talked about Asher. Even if I wasn't sure how I felt about him myself.

"You don't know anything about him, or the shit he's been through," I said. I turned to face them. "And you
certainly
don't want to try to fight him.

"What are you, his bitch?" Will yelled.

"That really isn't how you should talk to a lady."
 

I looked up and there was Asher. He stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders.

"Shit, it's Wild!" Jim said. He jumped off his seat and ran out of the bar, leaving Will behind.

"So you said you could beat me in a fight, huh? Wanna try?"

Asher moved towards Will. The smaller guy shrank as he came closer, even though he was trying to put up a brave front. Will threw the first punch, but Asher simply caught it in his hand.

"Try again," he said.

Will gritted his teeth. This time I could see him throw his whole weight behind the punch, but it only landed with a dull thud on Asher's chest. He hadn't even tried to avoid it.

"Okay, now my turn."

Asher's punch hit Will in the temple. He fell over, slumped onto the bar room floor. Just like that, and it was lights out.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine in a couple of hours," Asher said. He took my hand in his. "Let's go."

Asher pulled me outside. Like always, his ride was waiting for him. He hopped on and for the first time, I got on willingly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing tight. I didn't care where we were going.

The wind whipped past me as we drove off. It howled in my ears and tugged at my body. I wasn't scared of it anymore.
 

Being on the bike was so different from riding in cars. I didn't just watch the world go by me. I wasn't safe in my air-conditioned bubble with my preplanned playlists, waiting just to get to my destination.