Until the moment he found out I was pregnant. Then he left me alone, unprotected.
Don’t be angry with him, Ella. He thinks these guys are his family and have his back. You know as well as anybody that people can deceive you and make you think they care about you, but the whole time want to cause you harm. Look at the whole Matt situation. “He does love you, Ella,” he clearly states
.
“I know he does. He just can’t stand to be around me or this baby. He doesn’t want us.”
“He’s a guy. Sometimes we spook easy and do stupid as fuck things. I do know Ryder arrived back in town this morning. When he didn’t find you at the house, he went to the hotel to see if you were with Payton and Karen. They’ve all been trying to find you relentlessly. I’d say he’s freaking the fuck out right about now, not knowing where you are.”
Oh my God, did he just say Ryder was back in town? “I need to see him.”
“You will, but we have to wait until the task force gets here. Why don’t you lie down and get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when it’s go time.”
“I don’t think I can. I’m not very sleepy,” I yawn out, making a liar out of myself.
Devon lies down on the bed and pulls me to his side to warm me. I’m so cold and the warmth of his body feels really good. “Shh. Ella, you need rest. You’ve been through a lot today,” he says, soothingly in my ear. “Sleep.” My eyes immediately close.
I wake up early the next morning with the sun shining brightly through the window. Devon is standing by the door listening, then slowly and quietly opens it and steps out.
He’s gone for what seems like too long and I begin to worry. “Come on, where are you Devon?” I say nervously to myself.
The drugs must be out of my system now, because I’m finally thinking clearly. Then realization hits me. They drugged me and I’m pregnant, what if they harmed the baby? I curl up in a fetal position on the bed and start sobbing. Devon comes back into the room and motions for me to go to him.
“Let’s go. The task force is in place just outside the property line and the coast is clear. No time like the present to make a run for it.”
I reach out to him and he grabs my hand, dragging me out into the hallway to make our escape. I can hear moans of pleasure and cries of agony coming from some of the rooms as we pass and I shudder. That could have been me. I let go of Devon’s hand and cover my ears as we proceed down the hallway to a set of stairs. We sprint down the stairs, needing to get out of here fast.
Who do you choose?
When we hit the bottom of the stairs, I immediately see Ryder. Sensing our presence, Ryder turns around and locks his eyes on mine and starts running towards me. Halfway his eyes look to my left and I know he finally sees Devon. He lets out a feral growl and lunges towards him.
“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you!” he barks, straddling Devon’s body punching him in the face over and over again, until his body goes limp. That’s what it must have been like when he saw Matt attacking me.
“You fuckin’ piece of shit. Don’t ever fuckin’ touch her again!” he shouts. Spitting in Devon’s face, Ryder continues his assault.
Oh God, he thinks Devon did this to me. I try to pull him off and scream, “Stop, Ryder!”
I hear footsteps behind me. Hoping it’s Devon’s task force, I quickly turn around, but my body stills. It’s Axel and Diesel. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. I start shaking and sobbing.
Ryder stops his attack. Standing up, he turns around with his bloodied hands balled into fists at his sides.
“What are you doin’ here?” Axel asks Ryder.
“I gotta call on my cell, telling me I could find Ella here. Better question is, what the fuck are you doin’ here?” he asks, looking confused.
“We found out where they were keepin’ her. We came here to rescue her and bring her back to you.”
I start to freak out and yell, “That’s a fucking lie!” I tell him everything that I remember about last night.
Ryder stands there clenching his jaw with a look of disbelief, saying, “There’s no fuckin’ way.”
He looks at me with a dark, disbelieving expression.
Oh my God! Does he not believe me?
Axel approaches Ryder, grabbing him by the shoulders, saying “Come on man! She’s high on drugs and hallucinating. She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talkin’ about. Man, we’re your brothers. We would never do shit like that to your woman and baby. That’s fucked. Hunter attacked her the very first day she came into your bar. It had to be him. Ryder, she’s tryin’ to make you turn your back on us. We’re your family and always will be. It’s time to decide. You have to pick, her or us. Who do you choose?”
He looks over his shoulder at me and I see his jaw clench. He looks pissed.
Returning his gaze back to Axel and Diesel, he exchanges some kind of silent communication with the two men. Because his back is to me, I can’t see his expression when he looks at them.
While this exchange is happening all I can think is,
“Pick me. Pick Us. Pick our family!”
Shooting me another angry glare, he turns his back on me and walks away with the two men.
“No!” I scream, as he walks out the door, leaving me behind.
I really shouldn’t be surprised by him leaving. He walked away from us once, why wouldn’t he do it again
I fall to the floor on my knees, placing my hand on my belly and whisper, “He didn’t pick us.” My lower lip starts to tremble and I can feel the tears prick in my eyes.
Ryder chose them. Even though he loves us, he loves them more.
I crawl over to Devon and see that he’s still breathing. Thank god, he’s not dead. With the fierceness of Ryder’s attack, I thought he had killed him.
“Wake up, Devon. We need to get out of here,” I choke out.
He doesn’t respond to me. What am I going to do? And where’s this task force he was talking about? I have to get out of here, if not for Ryder, then for our baby. All of a sudden, I hear a roaring sound from outside. I wipe the tears from my eyes and rush out the door without thinking. I am shocked at the scene that I am witnessing.
Ryder is facing the duo he chose over me and our baby. He pulls out a gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans.
“You fuckin’ did this to her, didn’t you?” he spits out at them.
“Ryder, man. We’re brothers. Mayhem is your family. Do you really think we’d do shit like that!” Axels yells back.
“You. Are. Not. My. Family! Ella is my fuckin’ family. Ella and our baby, they will be my family!” he shouts. Even with the craziness of the situation, a small thrill goes through me when I hear those words.
“Ryder, you and I, we have history. We’ve had each other’s back since we were fourteen years old and in foster care. That’s a long fuckin’ time, bro. This chick is leading you around by your dick. You’re thinkin’ with the wrong head, man. You’re not gonna tell me that you’re picking this piece of pussy over us. You can get pussy anywhere!” he snarls. “Leave her here and let’s go!”
“You’re dead to me. Mayhem is fuckin’ dead to me. Back the fuck up and let us go, or I swear to Christ that I will blow your fuckin’ heads off and let you bleed out on the ground!” he lashes out.
He looks back, noticing me and motions for me to come over to him. When I reach him, he puts his hand on my hip and pushes me behind him in a protective stance and we walk away quickly.
When we make it to his motorcycle a series of events happen almost simultaneously.
I hear a gunshot ring out, turning around I see Axel has a gun pointed in our direction. Diesel pulls out a gun and aims it at Axel, yelling, “Police! Drop the weapon!”
Axel ignores Diesel’s order and pulls the trigger again. Diesel sees this and responds by firing his own weapon, taking Axel down, but it’s too late. At right about the same time I see Ryder jump in front of me. His body bucks and crumples to the ground face down.
I kneel down by him, turning him over and that’s when I see it, the deep red liquid spreading across his chest. Ryder’s taken a bullet and his eyes are closed and he doesn’t respond to my screams.
“Oh God! Baby, wake up! Stay with me! Please don’t die!”
Nothing. No response.
“Ryder, please open your eyes for me,” I beg again. My lips press against his, willing him to open his eyes, but he still doesn’t respond. “I love you so much, baby. Please don’t leave us, Ryder!”
With all my strength I pull his lifeless body against mine, laying my ear against his chest. I don’t hear or feel the familiar sound of his heart beating. I break down into hysterics. He’s gone and there’s nothing I can do about it. Ryder took a bullet to save me and the baby. What am I going to do without him?
Not ready to accept his death, I grasp the sides of his leather jacket, trying to shake him awake. I see something fall from his pocket onto the ground. What’s that? I lean over and pick up the little blue box and look at it. When I open it up my body starts shaking and sobbing even more for what should have been one of the happiest moments of our lives. It is a beautiful platinum solitaire engagement ring. I take the ring out of the box with shaky fingers and place it on my left ring finger. I whisper “Forever” in his ear.
That’s when I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist, ripping me away from Ryder’s body. I struggle trying to break free and glance down and see the life force spilling out of his body
.
His blood is everywhere, covering his body, the ground, my clothes, hair and hands.
“Oh God! Ryder’s dead!” I scream. The arms holding me turn me around and I find myself looking into Diesel’s eyes. I put my face into his chest and continue to cry uncontrollably.
Speaking quietly into my ear, Diesel says “Shit! I shouldn’t have called him to inform him where to find you. If I hadn’t this wouldn’t have happened. He didn’t know what he was walkin’ in to. Please forgive me, Ella.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You did not kill him, his
brother
did,” I say as sobs continue to rack my body. He holds me tighter for support.
While Diesel is holding me, other police officers arrive at the scene and about five minutes later an ambulance arrives. I watch the EMTs cut open Ryder’s shirt and place a stethoscope to his chest. They begin to move frantically, preparing the defibrillator and applying pads to his chest. They shock him.
Nothing happens. Then they repeat the process.
Again, no response.
My whole body shudders and I collapse to the ground surrounded by Diesel’s arms. The sounds of my anguished cries drown out all other sounds going on around me. Ryder Wilde. The love of my life, the man who thought he wouldn’t make a good father or husband, gave the ultimate sacrifice for his family.
His life.
Remembering
Four months later………
Looking out over the lake at the back of the house through the bedroom window, I can’t help but remember the first night Ryder brought me here. Of how much I wanted him, but was so scared of him at the same time.
Raising my left hand, I gaze at the ring that I pledged to Ryder I would wear forever. It wasn’t so much the ring I was pledging forever, but that I would be his forever. God I miss him.
My head dips and my eyes tear up when they fall on my
very
pregnant belly. My hands instantly caress my baby bump. I didn’t think I could be any more shocked than I was when I found out I was pregnant, but finding out I was pregnant with twins was a double shocker.
The
need
to go outside is immense. I open the door and walk towards the lake, barefoot because my feet are so swollen from my pregnancy. My long flowing white spaghetti strap dress, drags on the ground, so I gather some of the fabric in one hand raising the hem up so I won’t trip on it.
As I walk, I reminisce about the first time I met Ryder and how hot I thought he was and then what a douche bag he was. I treasure the memories of our first time together and how we shared our heartbreaking stories of the loss of our families with each other and especially the moment when we told each other, “I love you.” There are so many great memories and I cherish every one of them.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks when I reach my destination at the edge of the lake. I look down at the cool sand between my toes and take a deep breath. Wiping away my tears, I turn to the side and look up.
The most beautiful blue eyes stare back at me. Ryder. God I love that man.
When I think about that day four months ago and how I thought I’d lost him, I shudder. Too never look into those blue eyes again is too unbearable to think about. Even after I had given up on him and thought he was gone, the EMTs continued working on him relentlessly, until they got his heart beating again.
Interrupting my thoughts, he leans into me and whispers into my ear, “Always so beautiful.”
“You too,” I whisper back.