Will the Real Abi Sanders Please Stand Up? (21 page)

“Don’t apologize,” I finally manage. “I let you and Liv decide what I do. I’m happy that we’re talking again. I hated when we weren’t.”

“Me too,” he says so sweetly that my feelings for him come crashing to the surface.

This is insane. I know I decided to tell him, but do I really want to risk everything? Then again, I can’t stop thinking about what Liv said about him liking me as more than a friend. And when I tried to fool him into thinking I was Tilly, he could see right through the disguise. He said he’d always know me. That must mean something.

“So everything’s good between us then?” I ask, trying to sound casual despite the thumping of my heart against my ribcage. “Because there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Sure.” His eyes lock with mine.

A flush creeps up my cheeks, and there’s nothing I can do to hide it.

“You know when you said you could recognize me, no matter how much crap I had on my face? What did you mean by that?”

He stares intently into my eyes. It’s like the whole coffee shop falls away, and it’s just the two of us floating in a hazy mist. “Exactly that. You can dress up and pretend to be someone else, but you’ll never be able to hide who you are from me. Because you shine through everything. Forget the glitz and glamour. Just be yourself. No one can compete with that.”

I try to catch my breath. That’s the most eloquent I’ve ever heard him. And judging by the embarrassed expression on his face, he’s not likely to repeat it.

“Thanks. That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” And then I know that now is the right time to ask. “There’s something else,” I say, beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

“Yeah?”

“Um. W-w-we’ve been friends for a long time, haven’t we?”

A line of worry forms between his eyes. “You never stutter with me. Not with me.” He pauses a moment. “But yes,” he replies, nodding.

“Best friends.”

“Always.” He nods again.

My heart is pounding in my ears, and I’m clenching and unclenching my fists in my lap. Who knew this would be so hard? Well, actually, I did. But I’m going to do it. If he says yes, then it will be like all of my birthdays coming at once.
But what if he says no?

I’ll live. I can’t play it safe any longer.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in anything else, but Liv said…and I hoped…if she’s right…and…whether you and I…whether you could…you know…”

“What?” he asks, his eyes twinkling.

He knows what I’m asking. He’s going to say yes. I know it.

“Be my boyfriend,” I blurt out. “Because I’ve loved you since I was eight.”

For a moment, he goes still. Combat still. Why did I open my mouth? It’s not like I don’t know what Matt’s like. My heart feels empty at the thought of what I’ve done to our friendship, and I want to run for the hills.

But then his face lights up in that big, boyish grin I know so well, one I haven’t seen since I started being horrible to him during my short movie career. He leans forward and takes my hands from my lap and holds them in his. Then he kisses me gently on the lips.

It feels so right. So perfect. He tastes like cinnamon and coffee and all of my birthdays rolled into one.

“Matt?” I say finally, murmuring his name against his lips as I dimly realize that the entire coffee shop has burst into applause.

“Mmm?” He dives in for another kiss.

“Matt?”

Something in my voice makes him back away. “What is it?”

“The other girls. You always bolt when things get intense. Remember? You don’t do meeting the parents. You don’t do serious.”

A corner of his mouth quirks upward. “You really don’t know, do you?” he asks, echoing Liv’s earlier words.

I’m completely at a loss. “Know what?”

“It wasn’t that they were serious.” The smile he gives me then is so vulnerable, it’s devastating. “It’s that they weren’t you, Abi.”

I’m so full of emotion, I don’t have any words to respond. So I pull him toward me for another kiss, not even caring that I’m treating the coffee shop full of people to another show. Somewhere in the background, I hear Liv cheering.

And to think I wanted to be like Tilly. Not freakin’ likely. I have all I want here.

Finally, I feel like the real Abi Saunders has arrived.

And for exclusive sneak peeks at our upcoming books, excerpts, contests, chats with our authors and editors, and more…

Be sure to like us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter @entangledteen

And follow us on Instagram @entangledteen

Acknowledgments

Once again, this book would not exist without the help of my fabulous critique partners, Amanda Ashby and Christina Phillips.

To everyone at Entangled Publishing, thank you for publishing my book. I particularly want to thank Tracy Montoya and Shannon Godwin for your incredibly insightful edits. I’d also like to mention Debbie Suzuki; thanks for your hard work in promoting my book. Thanks, also, to Kelley York for yet another amazing cover.

Finally, to my husband, Garry, and children, Alicia and Marcus, thanks for all your support and understanding.

About the Author

Sara Hantz comes from the UK and now lives in Australia (via ten years in New Zealand). She has a PhD in Education and lectured for many years before deciding to devote more time to her writing and working in the family business. She has two grown-up children who have yet to grasp the fact that the bottomless money pit will soon be closing over. When not writing or working, she spends more time than most people she knows watching TV—in fact if TV watching were an Olympic sport she’d win gold.
www.sarahantz.com

Sign up for our
Steals & Deals newsletter
and be the first to hear about 99¢ releases from Sara Hantz and other fantastic Entangled authors!

Reviews help other readers find books. We appreciate all reviews, whether positive or negative. Thank you for reading!

Looking for more contemporary romance? Try these Entangled Teen titles…

S
EARCHING FOR
B
EAUTIFUL

by
Nyrae Dawn

Brynn believes her future is as empty as her body until Christian, the boy next door, starts coming around. Playing his guitar and pushing her to create art once more. She meets new friends at the local community center. Gets her dad to look her in the eye again…sort of. But letting someone in isn’t as easy as it seems. Can she open up her heart to truly find her life’s own beauty, when living for the after means letting go of the before?

Chapter One

E
ARLY
J
UNE

N
OW

One, two, three, four.
I focus to slow my breathing. In, out, in, out, trying to make the breaths stretch slowly, closer to tortoise rather than hare, like they’re rushing right now. My palms sweat, making my hands stick to the steering wheel, almost like they’re in clay on my pottery wheel.

Why am I so nervous? I shouldn’t be. This is Jason and he loves me. How many times has he assured me I can tell him anything? That we’re connected…soul mates, who were lucky enough to find each other in this crazy, screwed-up world we live in.

More than that, he likes it when I talk to him, when I tell him what’s inside me. Because at home, all he has is ugliness. Fighting parents, a dad who is always putting him down and calling him names.

I’m his haven. His beautiful.

Funny how out of all the billions of people in the whole wide world, I found him. That he calls me his beautiful when that’s what Dad always called Mom. Not in the same words—la mia bella signora is what Dad used to call her. My beautiful lady. That’s how I knew Jason and I were meant to be. It was a sign that I’m destined for a love just as true as my parents had. Just like I always felt it was destiny for them to adopt me. She was meant to be my mom.

My heart starts to calm at the memory of Jason whispering those words to me. Of his breath against my ear. His body wrapped around mine.
We love each other,
I remind myself, so I shouldn’t be scared to tell Jason. Now the rest of it? That makes my stomach turn and my head pound. Dad is going to freak.

After pulling the keys from the ignition, I get out of my car, running my hands down my red dress. It’s the one I wore the night we met.

If red wasn’t my favorite color before, it definitely is now.
He’d touched my hair, the red that surprises everyone, since Dad is Italian. But then, it’s not as though I would look like him.

That quickly, it had been like Jason and I knew each other forever. Did he know then? Feel the draw he told me about later? Feel the same spark with me that Mom always talked about with Dad? I hadn’t at first. I didn’t want to feel anything when I met Jason. Caring hurt, and I had enough hurt to last a lifetime.

I love him now, though. That’s what matters.

Red hair…red dress, and now red cheeks. I never knew blushing could be so damn sexy…

Half of me wanted to laugh at him. I mean, really? How dumb did he think I was? At the time, it was obvious his words were lines, but instead of laughing, I talked to him. He talked back, and nothing’s been the same ever since.

Smiling, I start to walk toward his brother Sam’s house. Luckily, he’s always out of town, so we never have to worry about seeing him. It’s the perfect place for Jason and me to meet.

The front door swings open before I get a chance to knock. Jason’s there, his blond hair messy like always. He’s wearing a pair of shorts, no shirt. Even after the past three months, I still shiver seeing his toned body. The ripples of his abs and firm arms. He works out like crazy.

“Hey, babe. About time you got here. Sam will be home soon, so we don’t have much time to hang out.”

As soon as he pulls me inside, his mouth is on mine. So recognizable, that mint tinged with smoke. I’ve always hated smoking, which is why he sucks on the mints. But still, the mixture is him. I would know it anywhere. It’s not that I necessarily like it, but it’s familiar. And familiarity is important.

Tell him, tell him, tell him.
The words creep into my head. I try to slam the door on them, but they’re like his smoke, floating under the door and filling the room until I’m almost suffocating on them. “Jason…” I pull back a little bit. “I want to talk to you, remember? I have… I have something to tell you.”

He smiles, threading his fingers through mine before pulling me farther into the house. Into the living room. “Sorry, I just missed you. You know how irresistible you are to me.”

I feel the heat burning my cheeks.

“Ah, there is it. Love that blush.”

Somehow, it’s those words that give me the courage I need. He loves my blush, my laugh. How many times has he told me he loves everything about me?

Love will make it okay.

“I…” I grab his other hand, too, needing to touch him as much as I can, wanting to look him in the eyes when I speak to him. “I need to tell you something important.”

He cocks his head a little, his hands tightening. “What is it?”

“I’m…”
Push the words out, Brynn.
They’ve been eating me alive for weeks and now I just need to
say
them. My hands start shaking and briefly I wonder if he can feel it. My throat feels clogged, like words or breath can’t get through. They’re trapped behind a barrier of fear.
Do it!
“I’m pregnant.”

The sentence somehow sucks all the air out of the room. It’s suddenly hard to breathe again. Jason’s hands grip mine tighter and tighter. I steady myself, proud of how I’m handling this. I spent two days crying before today, freaking out. I promised myself I wouldn’t freak when I told Jason.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m pregnant…with a baby. Duh, of course it’s a baby, but your baby…
our
baby.” I step closer to him, but he pulls away. His hands jerk out of my grasp.

“How the fuck are you pregnant, Brynn? It sure as hell can’t be mine. I’ve worn a condom every time we’ve been together. Every. Single. Time.” His words make me flinch. They’re like a whip biting into my skin.

Tears blur my vision; anger tries to block them. I’m shocked that Jason could accuse me of something like this. Then I remember the stories he’s told me, the anger he lives with every day. I promised Jason I wouldn’t be like that.
We
wouldn’t be that way.

But he made
me
the same promise, too.

Locking eyes on him, I notice his face is red, see the angry set of his jaw as he crosses his arms. Who is this? Jason has never yelled at me before. “I don’t know… I don’t know. But I’m pregnant. I swear. I’ve heard stories about girls getting pregnant even with a condom. Maybe it, like, had a hole in it. This isn’t something I would lie about, Jason. I’ve never been with anyone but you. Only you. You know that.”