Will to Love (20 page)

Megan was indeed serious in becoming involved with the charity and was keen to put together her first fund-raising event, albeit a small and low-key one.
 
But what she wouldn't tell Clarise was that she also meant to put in place her matchmaking plans for her and Jared Brigden.
 
She hoped to be killing two birds with one stone that day.

"I'm more than happy to help.
 
And I'll ask Victor.
 
I'm sure he'll say yes, too," Clarise assured Megan.
 
She was glad for a worthwhile activity that would take her mind off Will.

She decided to work on the invitation straight away.
 
Will was due to come back from Melbourne that afternoon and she was desperate for a distraction.
 
She didn't know if, or when, he would contact her to 'formalise' their break-up - if she could even call it that as she wasn't even sure he was ever her boyfriend.
 
But until then, she had to focus on something else or she'd fall apart.

Victor was eager to help out.
 
They decided to get together at Clarise's place that afternoon to work on it together.
 
When she told Megan about her plans with Victor, Megan decided to join them.

There were lots of good humour and jokes when Megan and Victor saw each other again.
 
This time Victor was free to be his gay self and Megan was intrigued by the fact that he was dating Evan.

The three of them were busy discussing their various ideas for the invitation when Clarise heard her phone ring from her bedroom.
 
She went there to check who the caller was, and as she guessed, it was Will.

Okay, just get it over and done with.

Clarise steeled herself, knowing she needed to be strong and unwavering in this conversation.
 
It was cowardly, she knew, but she'd rather do it over the phone than face him.
 
She picked up the call.

"Hi, Will."
 
Clarise's tone was polite but distant.
 
At least I don't pretend I don't know who the caller is.

"Hi, Clarise," Will said softly.

Clarise closed her eyes and tried to push away the jumble of emotions she felt from hearing his voice.
 
She took a deep breath to steady herself before she said quietly, "I can't talk for long, Will.
 
I'm in the middle of something.
 
But... I just want to let you know I understand what you want."
 

She heard him take a sharp intake of breath.

Her heart ached but she continued,
 
"And our...relationship is not working for me either.
 
So, it's - "

"Clarise, no, no, please." Will interrupted hastily.
 
"Can we talk about this in person?
 
Can I come over now, please?" he pleaded.
 

Clarise's own emotions shrouded the meaning of Will's supplication.
 
She thought he sounded distressed but decided she was wrong.
 
He couldn't be.
 
He wanted to end things with her.
 
It's probably guilt.

"No, sorry,Will.
 
Now's not really a good time.
 
Megan and Victor are here.
 
We're working on -"

"Victor?" Will interrupted again, his tone sharp.
 
What the fuck is he doing there?

"Yes, Victor.
 
And Megan.
 
We're helping Megan with a very urgent project so I can't really see you today."

Will's heart twisted in agony and jealousy at the thought of Clarise spending her weekend with her ex-boyfriend.
 
A guy she used to have feelings for.
 
A guy she saw everyday at work.
 
"What project is that?"

Clarise sighed, just wanting this conversation to be over.
 
She didn't know how much more her heart can take.
 

"Megan is putting together a fund-raising event for a charity in three weeks."

"Clarise?
 
Where are you, darling?"
 
Victor called loudly and clearly from outside her bedroom.

"I'm on the phone, Victor.
 
I'll be out in a tick."

"I have to go, Will.
 
Maybe we can talk la -"

"Fine," he interrupted again, brusquely this time, and hung up.

Clarise scowled at her phone.
 
Well, he had the nerve!
 
Well, 'fine' to you too!

~~

"Who was that?"
 
Megan asked as she walked back out to the dining area where they were working.

"Someone who wanted me to do a review for his business."

"On a Sunday afternoon?
 
No wonder you looked pissed off."

Clarise shrugged.
 
"Some of them run a seven-day a week business and forget that other people do have weekends off."

"I think that's rude," Megan declared.

"Yeah."

~~

Will was fuming.
 
How dare he call Clarise 'darling'!
 
And how could she allow him to call her that!
 
And why is he even there today of all days?

Will felt hurt and anger course through him.
 
Then he remembered his own hurtful words the night before.
 
Did she turn to her ex-boyfriend for comfort?
 

It's my own fucking fault then.
 
My own fucking fault.

He buried his face in his hands, not knowing what to do.

~~

Clarise, Megan and Victor finished the fund-raising invitation.
 
Megan couldn't believe she could already email it to invitees the next day.

"Guys, thank you so very much for your help.
 
You are both fantastic," Megan said as she hugged and kissed them goodbye.
 
"Now, Victor.
 
Don't forget to come to join us at our parents' place for lunch on Saturday, okay?
 
And Clarise, don't forget to invite Jessa and Faye.
 
I'll ask Mary Jane too.
 
I really need all the help I can get with the short lead time I stupidly gave myself."

"Yes, I'll ask them.
 
I'm sure they'd love to help.
 
And don't worry.
 
Everything will turn out well."

"Yes, thank you.
 
Okay, you guys enjoy your pizza.
 
I'm now going home to my fiance and have dinner with him."

The pizza delivery guy buzzed just as Megan was leaving.

"So who was that caller who wanted to talk business with you on a Sunday afternoon?" Victor asked Clarise as he started to devour his pizza.

"Will."
 
Clarise tried but failed to hide the hurt look on her face.

"Oh!
 
What happened, darling?" Victor asked, concerned.

Clarise told him the whole story including how she thought Will had the nerve to sound angry and hang up on her.
 
"Well, I'm not as his beck and call when he wants sex.
 
I'm not putting up with it anymore!"
 
She felt the tears rise up to the surface again.

"So let me get this straight," Victor said calmly.
 
"First, he was pleading to see you today."

"Well, he said 'please', so I guess you could say he was pleading," she said sarcastically.

Victor rolled his eyes.
 
"Then he said 'fine' angrily and hung up on you when you said you were busy doing something with me and Megan."

"Yes.
 
I mean...seriously, how dare he think I'll just drop everything to see him?"
 

"What exactly did you tell him?"

Clarise pushed down her anger brought about by hurt and thought for a second.
 
"Well, I said to him I had to go because I was working with you and Megan on this fund-raising invitation."

"Were you still on the phone when I called for you?"

"Yes."
 

"Hmm."

"Hmm, what, Victor?"

"Have you told him I was never your boyfriend?
 
That I'm gay?"

Clarise stared at Victor.
 
"What are you saying?"
 

"Well, sounds to me he might have gotten upset that your 'ex-boyfriend' was here.
 
He obviously wanted to come and see you, then he discovers I'm here and you refused to see him.
 
I'll be jealous and downright angry, too, if I was him.
 
I wonder if he heard me call you 'darling'?"

Clarise gasped.
 
"No.
 
That can't be why he got angry."

"Why not, Clarise?
 
What other explanation could there be?"

"He wanted to break up with me.
 
Why would he care that you were here even if he thought you were my ex?
 
Unless, of course, it was his ego that got hurt."

"Look, it's not that I want to give you false hope, but if you were agreeing to break up with him over the phone, why did he insist on seeing you and talking things through in person?
 
If he was keen on breaking up with you, I would have thought he'd be relieved that you were making it so easy.
 
But he wanted to see you and talk - not listen to your break-up speech."

Clarise felt a little stirring of hope.
 
Could Victor be right?
 
Did she dare hope?
 
Well, it was a possibility...
     

"So what do I do now?"

Victor shrugged and smiled at her.
 
"I guess you'll need to talk to him.
 
Find out what he really wants."

"Okay, I'll do that.
 
I'll call him tonight."
 
Clarise nodded, feeling fearful and determined at the same time.

"You know, right now, I'm so proud of you.
 
You're not hiding or running like you used to do."
 
Victor said fondly.

Clarise gave him a tight smile.
 
"I still want to just run and hide.
 
I'm not used to going where there could be pain.
 
But...there's a little part of me that still hopes."
 
Her eyes misted as she whispered, "I love him.
 
I've never felt like this before."
 
That was true.
 
Her feelings for Nick felt like puppy love compared to what she felt for Will.

Victor walked towards her and gave her a comforting embrace.
 
"Oh, darling, everything will be fine.
 
And whatever happens, you know I'll be there for you."
 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Clarise held her phone against her ear, as she listened to Will's phone ring.
 
She was a bundle of nerves, her palms sweaty, but she was eager to talk to him.
 
Looking back, she thought he did sound pleading when he said he wanted the two of them to talk.
 
She entertained the thought that maybe she jumped to conclusions about him wanting to break up.
 

Maybe I did.
 
Hopefully I did.
 

Then she heard his voice and her heart dropped to the floor.
 
It was his recorded voice.
 
He didn't pick up and it went to voicemail.

Did he do that on purpose?
 

She stammered her message after the beep.
 
"Hi, Will, it's Clarise.
 
Umm, I'm sorry I...I didn't mean to...I mean...I really want to talk to you, too.
 
Please call me?"
 
The last three words came out almost as a whisper, beseeching.

There was nothing else for her to do but wait.
 
And hope some more.

~~

Will heard his phone ring from the bathroom as he was brushing his teeth.
 
It was probably Rob, he thought.
 
Rob and Andrea were planning to visit Sydney in a couple of weeks or so.
 

But he didn't want to talk to him or to anyone.
 
All he wanted was... He looked at himself in the mirror and anguished eyes stared back at him.
 
What exactly did he want?
 
He felt empty inside - apart from the gnawing ache in his heart.
 

I want Clarise.
 
Just Clarise.

There.
 
He'd acknowledged it to himself.
 
So what should he do now?
 
What could he do?
 
Somehow he had to win her back.
 
Damned if he'd let Victor have his way with her.
 
He would fight for her.
 

He walked back to his bedroom, deep in thought.
 
Absently, he checked his phone to ascertain who had called him earlier.
 
Clarise!
 
And she left a message.

Will nervously checked his voicemail, cursing himself for not running for the phone when it rang.
 
His heart thundered in his chest as he listened to her words and tried to read between the lines.
 
He called her back straight away.

"Will?"
 
Was that relief she heard in her voice?

"Hi, baby," he said softly.
 

"Hi,"
 
she responded after a beat.
 
And he thought he heard a smile there, too.

Imploringly, he asked, "Can we talk tonight, Clarise?
 
Can I please come over?"