Will You Won't You Want Me?: A Novel (39 page)
Read Will You Won't You Want Me?: A Novel Online
Authors: Nora Zelevansky
“But why didn’t you call and explain?”
“Marjorie, you ran like a spooked herd of wildebeest.”
“An entire herd?”
He looked her up and down. “Maybe a few more wildebeest than the last time I saw you.”
“Gus!” She hit him on the arm.
“No, you look perfect. The most beautiful wildebeest of all the wildebeests.”
“Gus.”
“What? Right. When you got so damn spooked, I realized I was out of my mind. You have a
boyfriend.
”
“I—!” Marjorie tripped on a tree root.
Gus caught her elbow to steady her, then shook his head. “Such a spaz.”
“That’s ‘Train Wreck’ to you.”
He held on to her arm. Neither moved.
“What was I saying?”
She grinned. “I think you were talking about how much you like me.”
Gus cleared his throat. “Um, no. I was saying that you have a boyfriend, and not only did that seem wrong, I figured you were also panicking about moving in with him. I was just a test.”
Marjorie could smell Gus’s mint gum, that same flavor, and the soap on his skin, could see behind his stubble, where that laugh line was emerging, making his smile more pronounced.
Stay focused.
He continued: “And I was pissed at you for leaving so quickly. I was hurt.” He looked at the ground, then back up to her face, meeting her eyes. “Plus, I can’t be around you without wanting to kiss you, especially after the towel episode. I wasn’t sure how to be friends.”
They stood quietly for a moment, as that information settled. Marjorie felt a rising glee that threatened to burst out, embarrassing and obvious, if she didn’t speak up soon. “I guess Fred told you that Mac and I broke up.”
Gus’s gaze was steady. “Oh. I’m so—oh, fuck it. I was going to say ‘I’m sorry,’ but we’re past that, I think.”
“It was my decision. It wasn’t right. Plus,” she said, nudging his knee with her own, edging closer to him, “I was distracted by someone else.”
“Oh, really? Who?”
“Someone grumpier and much more difficult. He’s kind of a huge pain in the ass.”
“Hmm. That guy sounds awesome.” Gus leaned in close to her ear, so she could almost feel his lips on her skin. “So you’re available?”
“I am.”
“Interesting. Maybe I could take you on a date sometime.”
“Sure. You wanna take me to a wedding?”
“That seems kind of fast, but okay. You’re cute, for a wildebeest. I guess I’ll marry you.”
“Not
our
wedding, dummy. Michael and Celeste’s, next month.”
“Hmm. You don’t have anything sooner?”
“Nope. No professions of love on my calendar until then.”
“Maybe we can muster one up.”
Gus moved to kiss Marjorie, but she stopped him just before their lips met.
“But what about the distance? You live in LA, I’m in New York.”
“I’m sure we can rectify that.”
“Really? You would move to New York?”
“Nope.” He grinned. She opened her mouth to protest. “Oh, shut up, Marjorie Plum.” He winked. “We’ll work it out later.”
Gus pressed his lips against Marjorie’s own, and they lost all sense of propriety.
At the sound of a polite clearing of the throat, they looked up to see an older couple strolling past them down the hill. The man grumbled something about “getting a room,” while, behind his back, the woman gave them a thumbs-up. Marjorie and Gus laughed.
They walked the rest of the way to the top, where they were rewarded with views of changing leaves all the way to Coney Island. People were like ants, biking, pushing strollers, jogging, rushing. Gus put an arm around Marjorie’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
“What is this place?” she asked, breathless from the quick walk.
“Lookout Hill. Seemed appropriate.”
Oddly, in this blissful moment, Marjorie was reminded of a Maharishi Mahesh quotation that Brianne kept framed on her desk, left over from one of her failed self-improvement phases: “The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.”
In a few months’ time, President Barack Obama, the country’s first African American leader, would win his second term in office, a landslide relative to expectations. Congress remained Republican controlled in what spelled another four years of warring between the extremist factions of both parties, particularly the Tea Party fringe. All was not necessarily right with the world. But, in this instant, Marjorie was just fine.
To preserve the moment in her memory, she oriented herself:
This is the view from a lookout; not a peak. This is the smell of trees and wind; this is a guy, with flaws, but maybe the right guy, standing beside me. This is my life: my nose cold, a blister on my heel, nerves about my new job and what’s to come. This is awake. This is now.
Marjorie Plum was the most popular girl in school, but it had been over a decade since anyone cared, least of all her.
Flip, flip, flip and then she was whole.
THE END
Shortly after relocating from LA, I wrote
Will You Won’t You Want Me?
while seated at a tiny kitchen table in an equally tiny, but very sweet, apartment in Park Slope. So, first and foremost, I am thankful to Brooklyn for that same charm at which I sometimes poke fun.
I am forever indebted to my agent, Anne Bohner, of Pen & Ink Literary, for her attentiveness, rigorous standards, and taste; and to my editor, Vicki Lame, at St. Martin’s Press, for her apparently boundless patience, faith, and enthusiasm.
I have not been a preteen for quite some time, so I sought insight—and slang—from a few brilliant young women. Thank you to Sandy Radin, Lily Weisberg, and my beautiful cousins, Noa Elliott, Eden Elliott, and Georgia Eggers.
Reading an entire rough manuscript can be onerous. So I must thank my sister, Claudia, for wading through the first draft and for being the only person who truly understands my obsession with bodega beverages. Also, to my fellow writers Pete Soldinger and Laura Tremaine: I am beyond appreciative of the time you took out of your busy lives to offer invaluable notes.
To my mother, Lynn Zelevansky, on whom I can always count for honest feedback (she knows no other way): Thank you for teaching me to write during marathon essay-editing sessions throughout my formative years.
Thank you to my father, Paul Zelevansky, for his thought-provoking questions, dislike of adverbs, and his unusual perspective. (That is not code.)
Thank you to the Weiners and the Tabers, for all their love and support. And to my very best friends, for helping me be my “best Nora.”
Last, thank you to my husband, Andrew, for helping me find my ending and, most important, for giving me our beautiful, troublemaking monkey, Estella Rose.
Discussion Questions
1. When we first meet Marjorie, she is barely present in her own life. Why do you think she makes self-destructive decisions and is so passive? Is she conscious of this abdication of control? What does it offer her?
2. Marjorie is stuck and can’t seem to grow up. But she is also very hard on herself, as if she should already have life figured out. In what ways is she childish? In what ways is she just engaging in an earnest search? Does anyone really know who he or she will ultimately be at twenty-eight years old?
3. Marjorie’s job is terrible. Why does she stay for so long? Can you think of times when you remained in a friendship or relationship or work situation because you were afraid of change? Why is change so frightening?
4. Usually, when people picture former quarterbacks and prom queens, they’re not in the middle of a cosmopolitan city. Is it necessary to get out of your comfort zone in order to evolve, or does it depend on the person and circumstances?
5. Mac is a complicated character who adores Marjorie and wants what he thinks is best for her. Ultimately, is he a villain or a hero? Or is he neither? Why?
6. Marjorie’s mother drives her crazy. Why do you think it can be so hard for daughters to take advice from their mothers and for mothers to offer suggestions in a helpful way?
7. On the surface, Fred doesn’t have her life any more together than Marjorie does. What makes her so much more evolved than Marjorie? How is Fred advanced in terms of her worldview?
8. Belinda becomes deeply important to Marjorie very quickly. Why do you think Marjorie becomes so invested in Belinda’s choices? Is she concerned for Belinda, or is she living vicariously through the eleven-year-old on some level? Ultimately, was her choice to stay on as Belinda’s tutor immoral?
9. We learn a bit about Gus’s relationship with his mother, who struggles with depression and can’t make decisions for herself. How does Gus’s relationship with her affect his actions toward Marjorie? Is what he does patently wrong?
10. On her personal journey, Marjorie has to let go of everything from old friendships to outdated perspectives. In general, how can we tell when something has run its course and should be discarded? Or whether we should keep trying? Is Marjorie’s ultimate attitude toward Vera the right one, or should they both have fought harder because of their history? And why do you think Vera behaves the way she does at their last meeting?
11. What is the symbolism of both Marjorie’s interest in flip books and her own story about being stuck inside a book?
12. By the end, what has Marjorie learned about herself and the world and how to approach life? What does the final climb to the lookout represent?
St. Martin’s Griffin
ALSO BY
NORA ZELEVANSKY
NORA ZELEVANSKY
is the author of
Semi-Charmed Life
. Her writing has appeared in
Elle, T
(
The New York Times Style Magazine
),
Town & Country,
the
Los Angeles Times, The Wall Street Journal,
and
Vanity Fair,
among others. She lives with her husband and daughter in Brooklyn, New York. You can sign up for email updates
here
.
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