Wilson's Hard Lesson (24 page)

“Did he come to the reunion?”  Shannon searched her memory.
“I don’t remember seeing him there.”

“Nope.”

“I don’t think he’s come back home,” Shannon said. “I
haven’t seen him around town at all.” She shrugged. “Of course, I haven’t been
looking for him. And he was never the type to come into a bookstore of his own
free will.”

Brendan laughed. “Not the type of books you sell, anyway. If
you carried some girlie mags, maybe…”

“Sales aren’t that bad!” Shannon protested.  She finished her
last chili-dog; Brendan had already wolfed down all of his food and had eaten
half of her fries. “I never knew he was like that.”

“I didn’t like how he was with Erica,” Brendan said. “Always
pressuring her for more than she wanted to give. And I didn’t like how he
looked at you.”

“Steve? He never looked at me.”

“Sure he did.” Brendan stood up. “And I didn’t like it.”  He
took a couple of dollars out of his wallet and tossed them on the table.
“Thanks,” he said to Tawni, who’d gone back to pretending she was cleaning the
milkshake machine. The stainless steel shone like chrome.

“Don’t be a stranger!” she chirped. “We stay open late on
Fridays now.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Brendan said, as he led Shannon
out of Mickey’s. After the door closed, he laughed. “Some people definitely
haven’t changed. She’s exactly how I remember her.”

“What about me?” Shannon asked, shocked at her own nerve.
“Am I how you remember me?”

Brendan shook his head. “Nope. You’re way prettier now.”

“You’re way prettier now.” Shannon repeated Brendan’s words
to herself, squealing with happiness. “I can’t believe he said that!”

“I’ve told you that boy was sweet on you from day one,”
Chloe said. She stood in her daughter’s doorway, smiling. “You should listen to
your Mama.”

“No offense, Mom, but there was absolutely no evidence to
support that idea. All through school, Brendan and I were just friends.”

“You went to the prom together.” Chloe nodded at the framed
picture sitting on Shannon’s bookcase. The image showed a much younger, thinner
Brendan practically swimming in his rented tuxedo, with Shannon beaming next to
him in an emerald green dress.

“That’s because neither one of us had a date.”

Chloe laughed. “You both had a date – each other.” She held
up her hand when Shannon started to reply. “Tell me I’m wrong later. You guys
are going out tomorrow night?”

Shannon nodded. “His dad is letting him borrow the boat, and
we’re going to go down the river to watch the fireworks.”

“That sounds romantic,” Chloe said. “Just remember to be
careful.”

“Mom,” Shannon replied, rolling her eyes. “This is Brendan
we’re talking about. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Chloe laughed. “I know that. I trust Brendan. And I trust
you. You both have good heads on your shoulders.” She sighed. “It’s just that
when you’re out there on the river, well. Things can get out of hand pretty
quickly, and I’m much too young to be a grandma.”

Shannon burst out laughing. “Of all the things you don’t
need to worry about, Mom, I’m pretty sure that’s at the top of the list.”

“You’re going to see Erica tonight?”

Shannon nodded. “Yeah, she’s only in town a few more days
before she heads back to … school.” She hadn’t told her mother what Brendan had
said yet. Erica had been her best friend for over a decade. Shannon figured she
deserved to be asked what the truth of the matter was.

“You need any money?”

“No, I’m good.” Shannon smiled at her mother. She knew,
better than anyone, how tight things were at the bookstore. The sales were
barely enough to cover the bills, but her mother insisted that Shannon get a
small paycheck each week. “Really.”

“All right. I’m headed out myself.” Chloe’s smile faded a
little bit. “I’ll see you later.”

“Mom? Are you all right?”

Chloe’s smile brightened. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just trying
to make a list in my head.” She tapped a finger against the side of her head.
“You know how forgetful I am. I should write things down.”

Shannon handed her mother a notebook from her desk. “Here –
use this.” She handed over a pen. “Purple ink. Very lucky.”

Chloe took both and bent to kiss Shannon on the forehead.
“Have a good night, baby doll. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

“I love you,” Erica said. She’d returned to the riverside
park with Shannon; they were sitting side by side atop one of the picnic tables
that had escaped the recent bonfires. In her hands, she held the volume of
short stories Shannon had carefully selected for her. “After all this time, you
still remember exactly what I like.”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” Shannon shrugged. Her
stomach felt strange, as if she was the one who’d been telling lies. But there
was nothing for her to lie about – her life in Claremont was as dull as
dishwater, just like always.

“Yeah.” Erica put her arm around Shannon’s shoulders and
squeezed. “Thanks, honey.” She looked abashed. “I should have gotten you
something.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Shannon leaned forward out of the
embrace, letting her elbows rest on her knees. “It’s a gift just to see you.”

“Is it that bad, staying here?” Erica asked. “I know your
Mom needs you, but maybe you need to get away for a little bit. Meet some new
people. Experience something new.”

“Yeah, how’s that working out for you?” The words slipped
out of Shannon’s mouth before she realized what she was saying, edged with anger
she didn’t know she felt until that moment.

“What?” Erica turned to look at Shannon.

“You’re so sure what I need to do with my life,” Shannon
said. “How’s your life been going?”

Erica’s shoulders sagged, and she bowed her head. “People
have been talking, huh?”

“What’s going on, Erica?” Shannon sat back and looked at the
woman she’d known almost her entire life. “How come I’m hearing about you
dropping out of school from everybody but you?”

“Oh!” The sound came as a quick breath, heavily tinged with
relief. “I didn’t want to let you down, Shannon. You’ve always believed in my
art. You’ve even got one of my paintings hanging in your bedroom.”

Shannon smiled. The painting was supposed to be a portrait
of the two of them. Erica had painted it when she was in seventh grade; it
didn’t look like either of them, actually, but Shannon had treasured it
anyway.  “You have a real talent.”

“In Claremont, I have a real talent. You get out there, and
the work people are doing…” Erica shook her head, sadly. “I don’t have what it
takes.”

“So you build your skills. You get better.  That’s what
school is for.”

Erica sighed. “Look at it like this. Imagine I’m the best
basketball player in town, right?”

Shannon snorted. “All right.” It would be a stretch: her
friend was barely five foot five.

“So I go off to school thinking I’m going to be this bad ass
basketball player. Hell, forget college. I’m going to go directly to the NBA.”

Shannon nodded. “All right.”

“But then I get there. And everyone else is not only seven
feet tall, they’re playing circles around me. They’re doing things I didn’t
even know could be done. And no matter how hard I work, I’m not going to grow
any taller. And no matter how hard I work, I’m not going to catch up with what
they’re already doing.”

“So you give up?” Shannon asked. “Not just on art, but on
school?”

“What else am I going to go to school for?” Erica said. “I’m
not good at anything else.” There were tears forming in her eyes, shiny and
bright. “And school’s not exactly cheap, you know.”

“I know. Why do you think I’m still here?”

“I couldn’t come back,” Erica replied. “I just couldn’t. Not
after telling everyone I was going to be this big amazing artist.”

“You still can, you know,” Shannon said. “You don’t have to
go to college to be an artist. Lots of people don’t.”

Erica shrugged. “I’m not coming back. Maybe to visit or
whatever, but yeah. I’ve had enough of Claremont.”

“Brendan told me you had a tattoo now.”

Erica leaned over and grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of
her purse. She extracted one, rummaged around until she found a lighter, and
lit up.

“You smoke now?”

“Damn girl. I thought you knew all my secrets.” Erica let
out a long puff of smoke, curling and slate-gray. Shannon coughed. “Brendan
didn’t fill you in on my pack a day habit?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Shannon protested. “He felt really
weird about the whole thing.”

“Poor baby.” Erica’s voice changed. It had a harsh edge to
it that Shannon didn’t recognize as belonging to her friend. “He felt so weird
about it that he watched the whole damn act. He felt so weird about it that he
kept his money in his pocket, too.”

“Would you have wanted Brendan putting dollars in your
G-string?” Shannon asked. “Really? Brendan?”

“Rent’s $775 a month, rain or shine,” Erica replied. “You
watch the show, you put your money down.”

Shannon pulled her wallet out of her jeans pocket. Inside
there were four singles and a twenty.  She hesitated for a moment and then
pulled the twenty out. “Here,” she said. “I’ll cover him.”

Erica burst into tears. “You don’t have to do that. I’m not
looking for charity.”

“It’s not charity. You’re my friend. Brendan’s…my friend. I
want things to be right between you two.”

Erica took the money. “You’re sure? It’s not like you’re
rolling in dough either.”

Shannon shrugged. “No, I’m not. But Mom’s not charging me
rent either. I’ve got a place to be, no matter what.”

“You’re luckier than you know.”

“I’m beginning to realize that.” The past few days had been
eye-openers for Shannon. She’d been envious of her friends, especially those
who’d escaped Claremont for the bright lights of Albany – hardly a big city but
exponentially larger than their hometown – but now, a few years into things, it
seemed like she wasn’t missing out on anything but heartbreak. “Life’s hard out
there.”

“It’s hard here too.” Erica shook her head. “I think it’s
hard everywhere. The girls I work with, it’s the same thing. A couple of them
are Albany natives but mostly they’re just like me – trying to get away from
small town life. Failing miserably.” A shiny tear slid down her cheek. “Life
isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s really not.”

“Hey.” It was Shannon’s turn to slide her arm around Erica’s
shoulder. She squeezed her friend tight as the tiny blonde sobbed. “Shh. Shh.
It’s going to be all right. You’ll see.” 

A boat went slowly down the river, the tiny motor kicking up
a miniature wave behind it. The girls watched it go, waving weakly at the
gray-jacketed elderly man who was piloting the craft. His friendly smile
deepened to a leer, and he grabbed at the front of his pants. “How much to suck
it?” he shouted.

“Or…maybe not,” Shannon replied. “Jesus Christ. Maybe we’re
all doomed.”

Erica laughed. She flipped the boater off. “Go to hell,
Grandpa!” she shouted. “You know you can’t get it up!”

The boater turned away, red faced, gunning the little
trolling motor he had for all it was worth. That resulted in his boat moving
perhaps half a knot faster; it was more than enough to make the girls laugh.

“We should call the Coast Guard on his wrinkly ass,” Erica
said, loud enough for her voice to carry clearly over the river’s surface.
“It’s a crime to say that kind of stuff to underage girls.”

Voice low, Shannon said, “We’re not underage!”

Erica laughed. “You know that. And I know that. But he
doesn’t know that.” She brushed her shoulder up against Shannon’s. “Get out
your phone. Make like you’re calling someone.”

Shannon slid her cell phone out of her back pocket. She
never used it much; the bargain basement model provided only spotty coverage.
If the wind blew the wrong way, she couldn’t hear the person on the other end
of the line. She unfolded it dramatically, and pretended to dial.

“He’s watching you heavy,” Erica giggled.

Shannon mimed having a conversation, looking up at the
boater’s rapidly departing craft as she talked. After a few moments, she said,
“Thank you, Officer,” as loudly and clearly as Erica had spoken a moment
before. Then she folded the phone back up, returned it to her pocket, looked at
the boater and waved.

He did not wave back.

Erica dissolved into giggles. “Man, it would be funnier than
shit if there actually was a Coast Guard patrol out today.”

“What are the odds of that?” Shannon said.

“Probably not so great,” Erica said. “More’s the pity.”

They laughed together, and all at once, things were comfortable
and normal between them again. The distance that had opened up with Erica’s
secrets was closed. They were just buddies again, united against a world that
didn’t always have their best interests at heart.

“Man, I’ve missed you,” Shannon said. “I’ve missed
everyone.” It was true, she realized. Even though the bookstore had its busy
times, Shannon spent quite a bit of time either completely alone or with only
her Mom’s company. Books, as always, helped fill the hours, but it wasn’t the
same as having her school friends always around.

Erica nodded. “I thought school was so bad, and I couldn’t
wait for it to be over. But now that it is, I’d give anything just for one more
week where we didn’t have to do anything but hang out.”

“It wouldn’t be the same, though.” Shannon felt suddenly
melancholy. Erica was going to be headed back to Albany; even Brendan was only
going to be around for the summer. After that, she was going to be all by her
lonesome again. Who was she supposed to hang out with? Tawni? “I need to get
out of here.”

“You could come live with me,” Erica offered. “My apartment
is small, but we could make it work. “She paused, golden eyebrows coming
together as she thought further about the idea. “We could split the rent.
Figure with utilities and everything, it’d come to be about $400 a month.”

“$400 a month!” That was nearly half of what she made in a
month. Shannon thought about her meager savings account. There wasn’t enough in
there to cover more than two months’ worth of rent. “Where would I come up with
that kind of money?”

Erica shrugged. “They have bookstores in Albany.” She tilted
her head and said, “And I probably could get you in where I’m working.”

“I don’t think…” Shannon began, and then paused. She really
didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings, but there were some things she knew
she just couldn’t do. “I don’t think I have what it takes to make it as a
dancer.”

Erica stared at her for a long moment, and then burst out
laughing. “You dumb ass! I meant at the coffee shop, waiting tables with me!”