Wings of the Wicked (21 page)

He took my arm, stopping me. My eyes followed his hand up to his face. His skin was warm against mine, almost electric. “But I know you. This
is
you. This has
always
been you.”

I took my arm back and looked away from him. “Maybe that’s not me anymore.”

He hesitated, and the silence was aching. “You being around other people is dangerous. For
them
. You saw what happened with the fight against Orek.”

“I’m not going to be a hermit.”

“You’re a target,” he said. “That makes your friends and family targets as well. I don’t want them to get hurt either.”

“What are you saying? I can’t just abandon them.”

“You may have to.”

Our gazes locked. I drew in a long breath as anger churned deep within me. “I can’t do that. Being around them makes me feel human. If I lose them, I’ll lose myself and be alone.”

His shoulders slumped. “You’ll have
me
.”

“
You
aren’t all I need, Will. I need my family and friends, too.”

“A long time ago,” he began, “you understood how treacherous it was to drag ordinary humans into this world. You kept them away to protect them.”

“That’s not me anymore,” I told him coldly. “That me has died a thousand times before.”

“It
is
you. I understand that you love these people and you need them in your life, and I know
you
understand how dangerous your world is for
them
.”

“This wasn’t my world before you came along!”

“I have known you for five hundred years,” he said, touching my cheek and threading his fingers through my hair. “I know you better than anyone, and I know once you truly remember yourself, once you wake up, you’ll understand.”

“I do understand what you’re saying,” I said, and pulled away from him. “But I can’t give up my life and the people I love.”

“Even if you endanger them?”

“I’ll protect them,” I said defiantly.

“Ellie, please don’t be foolish …”

I held up a hand. “Not today. Please. I need to spend less time with you.”

He blinked, taken aback. “But I’m your Guardian.”

“You’re not my shadow.” My voice was sharper than I’d intended. “Or my babysitter. Lately I’ve realized that I need to get out of my old routine and into a new one. I need a break.”

His lips parted as he stared at me in disbelief, his green eyes wide. “We don’t have time for a break. Just
days
ago, a nycterid reaper picked a fight with us above a busy street full of humans. It’s been all over the news. There are video clips of this all over the internet. The world is on the brink of either changing or ending.”

“This is what I need right now,” I said quietly. “I need to think. I know I’m supposed to be this fearless warrior who kicks ass and never bothers with names, but I don’t feel like it. Trust me when I say I need this.”

“This is a terrible idea.”

I threw my duffel bag over my shoulder and picked my purse up off my dresser before turning to him one last time. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I don’t want you to follow me tonight. I don’t need you there. If you come, I will be really angry.”

“Please don’t do this. Don’t go without me.”

“Good-bye, Will,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll patrol then, okay?”

His mouth tightened into a line before he got up and his form vanished into the Grim. After he was gone, I stood there for a moment, second-guessing myself. But I had already made up my mind. I left my house, climbed into my car, and drove to Kate’s without him.

16

I’D BEEN TO STATE BEFORE, BUT NEVER ON A Saturday night. The end-of-February weather was miraculously above freezing, and that only encouraged thousands of college students to swarm the streets.

When we got inside Jay’s house, it was so hot that the air was foggy and thick with perspiration and the smell of living bodies and cigarettes. Music pounded my head in heavy, hypnotic beats so hard I could barely open my eyes. The atmosphere alone was intoxicating and disorienting. Kate hooked her fingers with mine and led me through the packed living room. We squeezed through people slick with sweat and spilled beer.

A hand touched my waist, and I blinked twice to focus through the haze. Brian dipped his face so close to mine that our cheeks brushed together and he still had to shout for me to hear him. “I’m glad you came! Are you having a good time?”

I laughed. “Yes! This is insane!”

He drew away and laughed. “You have no idea. Let me get you girls some drinks.”

Kate and I followed him into the kitchen, where a keg sat in a kiddie swimming pool covered with cute smiling fish. I laughed out loud when I saw it. Brian filled a couple of cups and handed them to us.

“Have a good time, ladies,” he said. The kitchen wasn’t much quieter than the living room, but at least we didn’t have to yell in order to hear each other. “Beer pong is in the basement, so feel free to roam. I’ll go find Jay downstairs and let him know you’re here.”

“He’s playing beer pong?” Kate asked.

“Yeah. Want to join?”

“Hell yes,” she said with a grin.

He brightened. “Well then. You’re in luck, because I’ve got next on the table. Right this way.”

He led us out of the kitchen and toward an open door in the hallway. We descended the narrow, creaky stairs into the musty basement. A table was set up in the center of the room, with a small crowd of people around it. Everyone was at least a head taller than me, except for a pixielike girl with a waist as narrow as one of my thighs. Her bleached blond hair had black streaks underneath, and she wore a tiny stud in her nose. I wondered if she was pretty under all that makeup.

I saw Jay partnered on the other end of the long table with a very tall, lanky guy with a Mohawk and a shirt that said
HAMMERED
. Mohawk Guy had a white Ping-Pong ball in one hand and a joint in the other. Jay and Mohawk Guy had three plastic cups, each filled with a little bit of beer, in front of them, and the team they faced had two left. Mohawk Guy sank the ball into a cup and roared with victory. He spun to the side, and Jay took the second ball out of a water cup. He tossed the ball, and it swirled around the cup before hitting the beer. He swore at the top of his lungs and threw a fist in the air in the angriest happy cheer I’d ever seen. The crowd surrounding them cheered and hollered.

Mohawk Guy bobbed and shook his head with the beat of the music upstairs and did a little skip before slapping Jay gently in the chest. “I’d love to play again, but I promised Maggie I’d smoke her down.”

Jay nodded. “That’s cool. I’ll meet you up there in a bit.”

Mohawk Guy laid a hand on the tiny blond-and-black-haired girl’s back, and they disappeared upstairs.

“Sweet,” Brian said. “I’ve got next.” He turned to me and took up a lock of my hair with his hand to examine it curiously. The gesture was so Will-like that it startled me. “Be my partner, gorgeous?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said.

Jay playfully tugged on Kate’s shirt. “You game?”

She grinned. “Always.”

He laughed. “Be right back.” He waggled two empty cups in his hands, which I took to mean he was going to refill for the game. Brian grabbed a couple of our cups to do the same.

Kate slunk up to my side and shimmied her hip against mine. “So what do you think of Brian? He’s so cute, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is.” The guilty feeling in my gut kept me from elaborating. Brian was really cute, but he wasn’t who I wanted to be flirting with.

“Ell, get over him.”

I blinked at her in surprise.

“I don’t need to read your mind. Your face is always so black and white. Tonight isn’t about anything serious. Just have fun. Brian has gorgeous lips. I’ll bet he’s an amazing kisser.” She squeezed my hip, and I bounced away from her with a squeal.

“Who says I’m going to let him kiss me?” I teased.

“I do,” she said firmly. “Because I think you need to kiss someone else. Just a harmless, fun little kiss. Nothing serious.”

“Hmm.” I wasn’t sure if I was ready or even willing to kiss another boy. Not yet. I didn’t really know Brian, and while I knew one kiss wasn’t that big a deal, I just didn’t
want
to kiss anyone else.

The boys returned and arranged the game. They had filled up the cups with beer, and Brian tossed the balls to the other side of the table and turned to me.

“Okay, do you know how to play?” he asked.

“Get the ball in the cups, right?”

“Basically. It takes some technique, but that comes with practice.” He nodded to Jay and Kate. “They’ll go first because Jay won last round.”

Jay tossed his ball. It bounced off the rim of a cup. Kate’s ball ricocheted off the table without even touching a cup. Brian put both balls into the water cup to rinse off the linty floor nasties. He tossed one ball, and it dropped into the first cup.

I cheered and stuck out my tongue at Kate as I picked up the second ball. I straightened my arm and aimed. Brian stepped close to me and slid his hand slowly down my arm. His touch, coupled with the coolness of the basement air, sent a shiver through me. His other hand wrapped around my waist as he touched my wrist and guided my arm back.

“Line it up,” he said softly into my ear. He was extremely distracting.

I released. The ball tapped the rim of a cup in the back row before falling into the beer. I jumped and threw my hands up as I cheered and Brian scooped me into a hug.

Somehow, Brian and I miraculously won the game. That first cup was the only one I made the whole game, but that didn’t take away from the fun I had.

Brian linked his fingers through mine. “Wanna dance?”

“Yes!” I smiled hugely and followed him upstairs.

I was much more at ease with the thundering music after having a few beers, and Brian was a
really
good dancer. I swayed my hips and he followed me, running his hands down my arms and around my waist. I turned my back into him and his lips brushed against the bend of my neck as we danced, making me feel even hotter in the sultry heat of the house as the party raged all around us. To my frustration, I was reminded of every time I’d asked Will to dance with me. I didn’t want to think about him while I was having such a great time with Brian, but I couldn’t help it.

I spun my body around to face Brian so that it was his face that I saw, instead of Will’s that I imagined. My eyes locked with Brian’s, and I noticed for the first time their gorgeous brown color. Like pure, delicious milk chocolate. My world whirled around me as I danced through that alcohol haze. Brian wrapped a hand around my cheek and slid it to cradle the back of my head, his fingers twining through my hair. He lowered his face, and instinctively I withdrew before his lips touched mine. He looked puzzled a moment, but then he gave an apologetic smile and seemed okay that I’d pulled away from his kiss. Kate had told me to kiss someone else, but I still didn’t think I could. Will’s face was in my mind again, and I couldn’t drive it away. Brian didn’t try to kiss me again as his hands fell to my hips. We danced until I forgot that there were a hundred other people in that living room, and I completely lost track of time.

I stumbled and laughed when he caught me with an arm around my waist. “Want to take a break?” he asked.

When I righted myself and still felt like I was spinning a hundred miles an hour, I nodded and pressed a hand to my forehead. He took my hand and led me from the room and toward the stairs. As I took that first step, I hesitated, trying to figure out where he was taking me. No way. I was not going into his room. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry. Kate and Jay and some other people are up here chilling. If we don’t find them, then we’ll come right back. Okay?”

I chewed on my lip before nodding and following him upstairs. He checked one empty room before moving on to the next. We found a room full of people and went inside. Jay and Kate were sitting on a raggedy couch together, and Mohawk Guy and his girl sat on a lumpy futon next to the couch. Brian sat on the bed, and I sat shakily down next to him.

“There you two are!” Kate exclaimed with a wide joyful grin on her face.

“This is my room,” Brian said. “That’s Rob and Maggie.” He gestured at Mohawk Guy and his girl.

Maggie gave me a smug smile, and Rob acknowledged me with a nod.

“Hey,” I greeted them nervously.

Rob winked at me as he packed a bowl with weed. His eyes were already blazing red. “Want to smoke, gorgeous?”

Maggie shot him a ferocious glare, which he ignored. He puffed his chest and blew out a thick cloud of smoke before hacking painfully. He passed it to Maggie, who also took a hit. Brian’s turn came next, and then he passed it to me. I held the bowl and lighter in my hands and stared at them. The weed smelled like something had died on Bigfoot’s ass and then had gasoline poured all over it.

I frowned at it and passed it on. “No, thanks.”

Brian fixed us more drinks, mixing from multiple bottles. Before I knew it, he was passing us shots and cups of liquid that, after a while, didn’t taste anything at all like alcohol. The TV was suddenly on. We were watching one of my favorite late-night vulgar cartoons. The next moment, we were watching something else. What time was it? I was leaning against Brian. His hands were around my stomach, fingers toying with the hem of my shirt. My boots were off and across the room. How did they get there? Kate and Jay were making out on the couch. Brian’s nose nuzzled my hair, and it just annoyed me. The new show on TV was really funny. Like
really
funny. I didn’t even know what was going on, but it was
amazing
. Then Rob and Maggie were gone. It was just me and Brian sitting on his bed. Suddenly Kate and Jay were gone, too. When did they leave?